I don't know why some of you have to be so nasty in response to the OP. You all don't know her entire situation. I am a woman who was married to a man for 18 years. (he died in 2010) I was a snooper. I started snooping early on. Not because he gave me a reason to but because 1) I was insecure and 2) he was pretty much a private person.

I knew he had watched porn in the past as a couple of times early into marriage I would go to bed early and get up to get some water or something and a VHS tape would be on. I didn't like it but I didn't say anything.

Then the Era of Internet Porn exploded (excuse the Pun) and I really got paranoid. I would break into his computer (we wasn't the most clever person when it came to coming up with secure passwords) and scan and scan and just get angry at the amount (nothing freaky) just girls with big hooters and guys with long dongs. I was small busted and again the insecurity messed with me.

That insecurity led me to get a boob enhancement. Of course he was all for that. Dumbest thing I ever did. It didn't stop the porn problem. What it did was make me resentful that after he was spending time getting all worked up with the porn he would come into the bedroom and "finish the job" with me. Now, I am not an unattractive person but I was a bit controlling in certain areas of our marriage.

I stopped initiating sex but didn't turn him down but it was clear I was not enthusiastic. I tried to explain how I felt but he said that for guys watching porn is like when the watch a sport like football. That guys actually, in their heads, put themselves on the field and play the game. He said they do that with porn too...they put their heads (the other one) in the "game". Well, I understood that but still didn't like it. He never stopped looking at porn until he got sick but that is when he lost interest in virtually everything.

Point is: Really examine why it is you are looking for evidence of the porn. I bet if you are honest with yourself you will realize it is because of your own insecurities.

And to those of you who are saying "give him more sex"....that really wouldn't make a difference. The guy is still gonna look at porn.

Some advice for you guys out there however: If you don't want your wife/girlfriend bitching to you about the porn then don't perform in the bedroom like you are a star of your own flick. Most of us women laugh at what the men in the pornos are doing, the sounds they make. It isn't attractive to us. Watch your damn porn and get your rocks off but when you are with us in our bed, MAKE LOVE TO US, pay attention to our faces so see if we like or dislike something you are doing because trust me...it will be evident. None of us wants to feel like a blow up doll.