How can I tell the source of porn I found in husband's stash.

HE IS WATCHING PORN BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT PUTTING OUT.

The Bible tells us in the last days that wrong will be right and right will be wrong - you people on here who advocate pornography are sick minds and tools of satan.

Just lube up your hand and jack off without having to look at other women.
Simple, easy, done. And you havent littered your mind with images of other women.
Or...*GOD FORBID* think of your wife while you do it! Thats what most wives do!

You obviously don't give him what he needs. What a bitch.

Porn is wrong. Making porn is wrong. Watching porn is wrong. It's all wrong. If it weren't, people would acknowledge across the board that it was OK and there wouldn't be any need for threads like this.

OP -- your husband betrayed you, not only with the porn, but with his lies to cover up the porn. These two issues alone indicate that your marriage is not what you assume it to be. I'd suggest that you both need counselling help, if you want your marriage to improve. Your husband is not your possession (meaning that you can't control him), but he did make a marriage vow to 'forsake all others', which includes looking at pictures of naked strangers. He owes you to make good on that vow; if he doesn't want to do that, then you have the right to leave him.

I know that this isn't about you withholding sex from him. Some men are easily tempted into the habit of porn, for any number of reasons. Shrugging it off as just a guy thing, as many commenters suggest you do, is not the answer. You know in your gut that his viewing porn is wrong and a betrayal, but it's up to him to see it that way as well, or there isn't much hope for your marriage.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. Sometimes women are far better off alone than married to someone who has no self-control and no respect for the woman he vowed to be faithful to.

The guilty accuse the innocent.

This person is obviously a brainwashed religious tars, most likely catholic, and most likely an insecure control freak as well

So you assume the woman is in the wrong because her husband is addicted to pornography, yet you call HER the control freak?

I for one dont advocate pornography, I advocate mind your own fking business, and advocate that at the very beginning of your NEXT marriage you tell the guy where you stand on the topic instead of assuming

How completely wrong you are! I'm far from Catholic and far from brainwashed. On the contrary, I use my brain to think, which is a rare usage these days. Pornography is the scourge of most marriages and invariably goes hand-in-hand with affairs. That women have been brainwashed to accept porn as the norm is what's sad. I used to accept porn as the norm myself, until I became a counsellor and discovered how insidious and how destructive pornography is in relationships. Porn is, in fact, an affair by proxy, and the woman the husband is lusting after is, in fact, the 'other woman'. White-wash porn all you want, but it is an incredibly destructive force, both for those viewing it and for those involved in the industry.

She is probably a real whale and pissed that all the pics are of some nice looking women.

Nobody so far has demonstrated anything akin to addiction. It's an assumption based on nothing.
I suggest the involved woman is far more likely more addicted to food and inactivity and being as fat as she wants to be for her own needs.
Pics or stfu

Wow, it's amazing how a little bit of porn freaks people out.

Ill be honest, I'm a guy in my forties who has always enjoyed porn. When I was a little kid with no playboys or penthouses, pics of women inn underwear in the Sunday paper were very helpful.

If it didn't exist, men would probably draw stick figures and jerk off. All of that classical art? Porn....

Perhaps instead all of these freaked out and jealous women would prefer a culture that suppresses pornorgraphy like communism or Islam. It's a free country, leave anytime.

as I said - the Bible says that in the last days, RIGHT will become WRONG and WRONG will become RIGHT. It's obviously not this issue. A quick read of this board everyday will show tens or dozens of sins that are taken to be base' whiole if you are against them, you are wrong.

Porn used to be abhorrent. Look at it now.

Homosexuals used to be condemned to mental institutions, look at them now.

in 10 years, pedophiliacs will have their day.

20 years from now, beastiliacs will have their day.

30 years from now, murderers will have their day.

40 years from now...

oh you poor men with your concern for your poor dicks. lol

Dont you even realize that every time you get turned on by a woman (porn or otherwise) your biological master within is just saying, "I WANT TO MAKE A BABY! I WANT TO MAKE A BABY!"

It just makes me laugh that you're all so controlled by your biology and you act like entitled, bratty, little boys who dont get to play with their favorite toy truck.

Grow the fuck up and learn some self control...or go and make some babies (because that's ACTUALLY what your biology wants every time you get a stiffie!) lol

Porn makes you lazy, uninspired, boring lovers. Why SHOULD the OP or any wife, 'put out' if her husband is like that?
You all think it teaches you 'techniques' or makes you a better lover?

*NEWSFLASH*


It doesnt.

If you were "all that" in bed you'd be getting laid by your wives more. We like sex too...just not with minute men who have trained themselves to whack off to the hottest bimbo and "get on with their day" in under 5 minutes.

Now get your dick out of your hand, romance your wives and get a REAL pussy for a change, you lazy, spoiled brats!

You get what you put into a relationship!! If alls you're putting into it is sneaking around to look at other pussy and whining that you dont get it enough, you're doing it WRONG. Why the hell would a wife want to have sex w/ a man who doesnt have eyes for her alone?

We're not put here on earth to satisfy your needs. A relationship is a partnership. If you dont want to do what you need to do to please your wife than you need to just admit that you're impotent and cannot take care of the needs of a REAL woman.

it seems most replies to the op are from one extreme to the other. either the op is the awful person or the husband is the awful person.

the truth is op, neither of you are awful. you are both just human. as a female, you are internalizing and analyzing this and trying to that somehow this activity has a direct connection to his feelings or love for you. it does hurt to think a man could desire another besides you. *if* that is the way you think about it. so its a crush to your self esteem. BUT....

men by default, have to release. the women they are looking at to assist (they are visual by nature, women are auditory) in performing this release, dont mean anything. its something to look at. so you have to live in reality, this does occur, like it or not. men know this bothers women, they try not to be pigs about it, and hide it. its awkward, they dont want to hurt you. so hiding it is not really to be deceitful, in an intention to hurt you, its an intention to spare you hurt feelings.

some women know this, take advantage of it and watch porn with their men. some women know it, and don't bring it up and don't join in.

if you love your man, and you think honestly he loves you, as awkward as it is for both of you, if you talk to him, it will make him feel guilty and ask a bunch of questions will make him feel weird. you will create a wedge, opposite of what you want, which is to be closer.

instead, depending on how you feel about it, be creative...sexually with him. surprise him....do something you would have never thought about doing before. give him a taste of variety from you. it wont stop his default activity, but guarantee you will become his default stop in his "spank bank".



now, if he is doing this instead of you, you guys have no sex life whatsoever. then u should leave. that is porn addiction.

Somewhere there is a lesbian commune that needs one more of you.
You need to live and grow old alone and without some mans property or money

Murderers already have their day. In Canada, if they're considered 'mentally unfit' to stand trial and are confined to a mental hospital, murderers are deemed to be not guilty of the crime they committed and can, with drug therapy, be released after a few years. The Chinese immigrant who heeded "voices" and beheaded a stranger sitting next to him on a Greyhound bus in Manitoba is already out on day passes, less than four years after committing this horrific crime.

And we were stupid enough to believe the bitch and ate the apple.

Your husband's sexuality is not under your control. Unless it was illegal porn, which should be reported to someone who can help him, realize there is a reason to why he watching it. From the sounds of your responses, it seems to be you.

It doesnt matter how often or great the sex is, if he likes porn or adult sites he will do it anyway, it has nothing to do with cheating or him not being happy, its a penis thing, something a woman isnt meant to understand. I understand because my husband watches porn all the time and plays with his penis, at first he hid it but 4 years later i know he doesnt cheat, and thats probably where your mind leds you. Just talk to him, dont make a big deal honestly it wont help to make him feel guilty. For most men its not about you or lack of sex its just about him playing with his penis and naked women make it stand up, once men are married its kinda like they go back to b4 they ever had sex, they play with it every chance they get.

If you can tell its not pics that a woman sent him and he just got it from a site like aff.com or pornhub or something just let it go, dont drive yourself crazy.

Another who thinks right is wrong and wrong is right.

Awww...did I hurt your poor little boy feelings by being honest? lol are you mad that I made you feel embarrassed because you cant stop playing with your little pee-pee?

Porn makes men suck in bed. FACT. The ones that are REAAAALLY into it, REAAAALLLY suck in bed.
Unless you are a woman (or gay) you wouldn't know that.

But keep letting your porn princesses tell your mind otherwise.
She'll say: OH YOU BIG STUD...give it to me HARDER!
Never does the porn princess say, "Thats all you got, bitch? 5 minutes????"

Agreed to a certain extent. Desire is a dicey thing and cannot be turned on and off just by pressing buttons. Porn, however, doesn't help make things good between a husband and wife, no matter how much the wife turns herself inside out trying to believe porn is no big thing or is 'saving' or 'helping' the marriage.

Most of the porn supporters here are, judging by the virulence of their hatred directed at those who object to porn, clearly feeling guilty about using porn and are trying to normalize it by attacking those who object to it. By trying to normalize it, they're trying to paint themselves as innocent and porn as natural. But porn is anything but innocent or natural. Porn is a mental sexual drug. No drug is good; every drug has bad side-effects. Porn's side-effects on users are guilt, self-hate, and destroyed relationships.

This thread exibits a lot about what is wrong with the world today. Alot of Boys obsessed with their wankers. No higher thinking, no spirituality, no loyalty. Just a bunch of simple minded little boys that want to get their jollies

If he didn't think he was doing anything wrong, why did he hide it from you?

Really sounds like a lot of girls that wish they had a wanker they could be obsessed with.

Sadly, yes, but I still think that most men, if given the choice, would not want to be like this. Women are also to blame to a certain extent because they have become porn enablers -- some by making it, and some by permitting their husband to use it. A healthy marriage does not need porn. When there's porn use in a marriage, something is wrong.

I know a gal who boyfriend looked at porn. She was beautiful, had a great body, and they had a great sex life. He adored her, but it also upset her when she would catch him looking at porn on the internet.

face it lady, your husband is into hard core kiddy porn!