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What makes men not want to have sex?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26863283
United States
11/04/2012 08:17 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
my husband doesnt have a sex drive either.

:gah:
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17522961


My EX didn't either and when he did, it lasted about 10 seconds.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 12042051


That why you left him?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26273671
Canada
11/04/2012 08:18 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
im that type of husband ! and quite honestly he doesnt want it from you anymore he craves the attention of another
or others

sorry
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26273671

No it's okay but is their any way to save our family and marriage what would do it for you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7183572


tough question ! as im torn completely ! i care and all but i want to be with someone else, she is all i think of
EVIL_BEAN_KID

User ID: 27020301
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11/04/2012 08:19 PM

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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?

SLAM THAT CLAM
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26994007
United States
11/04/2012 08:19 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
If his wife gets overweight, slovenly, doesn't take care of herself, lazy, loud, obnoxious...any number of things can turn a person off. It could be any of that or one of a thousand other reasons. Maybe he's intereted in someone else. Maybe you've done something that caused him to lose interest in you.
Was he previously interested in having as much sex as you wanted? Is this a new attitude? Every situation and every person is unique. And it could be that he's into porno so intensely that no one can measure up to his porno expectations. Nobody can assess the answer to your question without knowing what's going on with both of you.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27019333
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11/04/2012 08:20 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
Maybe, you are ugly and not a goo lay...just sayin!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26507547
United States
11/04/2012 08:21 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
Okay fair answer.... What can I do to make it better?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7183572


stop showing him attention sexually TRUST ME he will want you alot more and wonder why you dont want him as much as you used to. spoken from experience
Anonymous Coward
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11/04/2012 08:21 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
If his wife gets overweight, slovenly, doesn't take care of herself, lazy, loud, obnoxious...any number of things can turn a person off. It could be any of that or one of a thousand other reasons. Maybe he's intereted in someone else. Maybe you've done something that caused him to lose interest in you.
Was he previously interested in having as much sex as you wanted? Is this a new attitude? Every situation and every person is unique. And it could be that he's into porno so intensely that no one can measure up to his porno expectations. Nobody can assess the answer to your question without knowing what's going on with both of you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26994007


its not her fault ! its the male animal instinctive nature unfortunately
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 7183572
Canada
11/04/2012 08:22 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
im that type of husband ! and quite honestly he doesnt want it from you anymore he craves the attention of another
or others

sorry
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26273671

No it's okay but is their any way to save our family and marriage what would do it for you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7183572


tough question ! as im torn completely ! i care and all but i want to be with someone else, she is all i think of
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26273671


So do you think that he wants to be with someone else. I'm mean I realize that when you have been with someone for a long time things get boring but eventually the "new girl" will get boring too right? Me I've got something special at least I think. I am really willing to fight and give my all even if that means doing or trying new things to please him.....you would think being the red head would give me a one up....lol
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26273671
Canada
11/04/2012 08:22 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
Okay fair answer.... What can I do to make it better?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7183572


stop showing him attention sexually TRUST ME he will want you alot more and wonder why you dont want him as much as you used to. spoken from experience
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26507547


temporary fix ! trust it was done already
Philligan
in rainbows

User ID: 8636563
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11/04/2012 08:23 PM

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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
He may care for you and love you but he might not be attracted to you as much anymore.

Are you guys happy together? Do you have a good family? If yes well that's important.

Speak to him about this.
everything in its right place
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 18254922
United States
11/04/2012 08:24 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
Okay fair answer.... What can I do to make it better?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7183572


first you need to know if it is porn that is distracting him. If it is...then he needs psychiatric help...i doubt you can bring the subject up without him hating you for it.

if it isn't porn or another woman...

is he in poor physical condition? if so..then he needs to better it.

stress kills my desire for sex...if I have alot of undone business...and alot on my mind...i lose desire. I would guess that is normal for any man. My attention simply is elsewhere.

how can you make him want you more?

well.

1-sleep naked......

2- tell him you want to give him a foot massage. Wear something alluring and have him sit on the bed. Start with doing what you said...a good foot massage. Then...put his big toe in your mouth while you rub his inner thighs...then...unbutton his pants...etc etc...I guarantee success.
BZB

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11/04/2012 08:24 PM

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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
your vagina is worn out. u no longer turn on his dick.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26994007
United States
11/04/2012 08:24 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
If his wife gets overweight, slovenly, doesn't take care of herself, lazy, loud, obnoxious...any number of things can turn a person off. It could be any of that or one of a thousand other reasons. Maybe he's intereted in someone else. Maybe you've done something that caused him to lose interest in you.
Was he previously interested in having as much sex as you wanted? Is this a new attitude? Every situation and every person is unique. And it could be that he's into porno so intensely that no one can measure up to his porno expectations. Nobody can assess the answer to your question without knowing what's going on with both of you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26994007


its not her fault ! its the male animal instinctive nature unfortunately
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26273671



I did not even intend to imply that it was her fault. Just sayin' it could be anything...it could be all his fault..without knowing the entire situation and both people, nobody could evaluate this condition between these two people
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26507547
United States
11/04/2012 08:24 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
dont listen to these guys seriously take my advice my wife did this to me without even trying it wasnt me not wanting her i just wasnt in the mood to have sex most of the time but when she stopped showing me that affection i freaked out and it has nothing to do with wanting someone else i have a green light to fuck other women so trust me play hard to get and hell snap out of it
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26102818
United States
11/04/2012 08:25 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
lose weight
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 7183572
Canada
11/04/2012 08:26 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
Okay fair answer.... What can I do to make it better?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7183572


first you need to know if it is porn that is distracting him. If it is...then he needs psychiatric help...i doubt you can bring the subject up without him hating you for it.

if it isn't porn or another woman...

is he in poor physical condition? if so..then he needs to better it.

stress kills my desire for sex...if I have alot of undone business...and alot on my mind...i lose desire. I would guess that is normal for any man. My attention simply is elsewhere.

how can you make him want you more?

well.

1-sleep naked......

2- tell him you want to give him a foot massage. Wear something alluring and have him sit on the bed. Start with doing what you said...a good foot massage. Then...put his big toe in your mouth while you rub his inner thighs...then...unbutton his pants...etc etc...I guarantee success.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 18254922


Ouch....you haven't seen his feet. Just kidding, thanks for the advice!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 20478377
United States
11/04/2012 08:26 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
Just trying to understand my husbands sex drive. Is it normal that my sex drive is higher than his? What should I do?
 Quoting: Sparkles 7183572

My wife and I are in the process of getting a divorce. She has always had a larger sex drive than i. It is her main reason of kicking me out. She was such a bitch about the whole issue, it has killed all sex drive in me. At this point, I do not miss it.

I have concluded that women need it more than men do.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26273671
Canada
11/04/2012 08:26 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
im that type of husband ! and quite honestly he doesnt want it from you anymore he craves the attention of another
or others

sorry
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26273671

No it's okay but is their any way to save our family and marriage what would do it for you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7183572


tough question ! as im torn completely ! i care and all but i want to be with someone else, she is all i think of
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26273671


So do you think that he wants to be with someone else. I'm mean I realize that when you have been with someone for a long time things get boring but eventually the "new girl" will get boring too right? Me I've got something special at least I think. I am really willing to fight and give my all even if that means doing or trying new things to please him.....you would think being the red head would give me a one up....lol
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7183572


he needs to battle it in his head ! he needs to think deep and hard and not succumb to animal instinctive nature ! ... youve been in his herd... he has taken care of you.. youre settled and comfortable.. that is what truly happens in the mind of a cheating man ... but the human in him fights and wants to stay and do the right thing
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24016333
Finland
11/04/2012 08:26 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
on a sidenote: women, not everything revolves around you.

stress
hormonal activity, largely depending on lifestyle
age

+for each hot bitch there is a guy who is tired of fucking her
Sun Spot

User ID: 1108306
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11/04/2012 08:28 PM

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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
Stay focused.

Looks are not the factor, two people grow together or grow apart.

If still growing together, he still might have been turned off by things.

If growing apart, time may heal or not.
Lumberjack_Lone_Range​r
User ID: 25673986
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11/04/2012 08:28 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
Just trying to understand my husbands sex drive. Is it normal that my sex drive is higher than his? What should I do?
 Quoting: Sparkles 7183572



Just to answer the thread's main question, I can say that it happens to me not to be willing to have sex with my wife following a full day (or full evening) of nagging coming from her. This really turns me OFF. This is just an example.

Just try the Lumberjack position with your hubby at night ...

tounge
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 13974494
United States
11/04/2012 08:30 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
Too much work... just blow me while I watch the game. peace
Anonymous Coward
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11/04/2012 08:31 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
i was a husband like this. sometimes you go long periods without and that becomes your new routine. i really had to see that my wife missed that intimacy and needed it then we really worked at getting the flame back and our sex life is amazing now. about every day of the week.

some of these answers are from idiots but some have merit. maybe try something new and interesting. go outdoors or something like that. maybe get some new night things. but dont change yourself just to please him. be confident and that is the sexiest thing of all. my wife and i have been married 13 years and she is still the sexiest woman i know. it is attitude. but most of all let him know how you miss it and not because you are a sex addict, most women seem to desire closeness of being intimate with their partner. it is important.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26954555
11/04/2012 08:31 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
i was a husband like this. sometimes you go long periods without and that becomes your new routine. i really had to see that my wife missed that intimacy and needed it then we really worked at getting the flame back and our sex life is amazing now. about every day of the week.

some of these answers are from idiots but some have merit. maybe try something new and interesting. go outdoors or something like that. maybe get some new night things. but dont change yourself just to please him. be confident and that is the sexiest thing of all. my wife and i have been married 13 years and she is still the sexiest woman i know. it is attitude. but most of all let him know how you miss it and not because you are a sex addict, most women seem to desire closeness of being intimate with their partner. it is important.
Anonymous Coward
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11/04/2012 08:31 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
Perhaps you can set aside a day every other week as a date night. Have a night cap or two when you get home. Ask him to dance with you.

If he is still not interested, at least you can build on your friendship. Let him know how much you love him by the way you act towards him.

Good luck whatever the outcome.
FASNYC

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11/04/2012 08:32 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
When my fiancé bitches for the purpose of bitching. That does it every time
Times are changing!
l3ol3o
Omar's coming Yo!

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11/04/2012 08:32 PM

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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
How old are you? Women are most sexually active in their 30's while a man's sex drive begins to decrease in their 30's. How often do you have sex also? Is your husband under a lot of stress? Is he overweight? These things can decrease sex drive. If your only having sex once a week and he's passing it up that can be problematic. If it's every night he may just be tired.

Men also just get tired after a while. Marriage is not a natural state. Men want to have sex with as many women as they can to spread their genes as much as they can. That is natural. Women are the same way but to a lesser extent. They value loyalty b/c they want someone who can take care of them and their kids. Yet married women will dress sexy when they leave the house but lounge around the house looking like shit for their husbands, the one person they should look sexy for. They still dress sexy in public b/c subconsciously they are still looking for a mate.

My point is that marriage or one partner isn't a natural state. B/c of this you need to make things interesting and new. You can be the most beautiful women in the world but after a while you just become stale. Gotta keep things fresh.
Ayatollah Khomeini:
“Islam makes it incumbent on all adult males, provided they are not disabled and incapacitated, to prepare themselves for the conquest of [other] countries so that the writ of Islam is obeyed in every country in the world. But those who study Islamic Holy War will understand why Islam wants to conquer the whole world…. Those who know nothing of Islam pretend that Islam counsels against war. Those [who say this] are witless. Islam says: Kill all the unbelievers just as they would kill you all! Does this mean that Muslims should sit back until they are devoured by [the unbelievers]? Islam says: Kill them [the non-Muslims], put them to the sword and scatter [their armies]. Does this mean sitting back until [non-Muslims] overcome us? Islam says: Kill in the service of Allah those who may want to kill you! Does this mean that we should surrender to the enemy? Islam says: Whatever good there is exists thanks to the sword and in the shadow of the sword! People cannot be made obedient except with the sword! The sword is the key to Paradise, which can be opened only for Holy Warriors! There are hundreds of other [Koranic] verses and Hadiths [sayings of the Prophet] urging Muslims to value war and to fight. Does all that mean that Islam is a religion that prevents men from waging war? I spit upon those foolish souls who make such a claim.”
284dan

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11/04/2012 08:34 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
A yeast infection can create an odor that can be offensive to men and cause them to lose interest in sex.
FATMANGOBOOM

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11/04/2012 08:34 PM

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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
Could be a number of reasons...

as men age they have a decrease in sex drive...

but it could be many other things as well...

Prostate problems... having an enlarged prostate causes pain when having an erection and worst when climaxing... IF it gets to that point...

Another problem with prostate is small leaking.. so being fresh may stop him from engaging..

the other thing is his body type, more than you think...

a lot of guys once we get a little big have a hard time with our appearance...

another thing is dressing like a woman... one thing into today's world is woman do not dress like woman... sure their shirts are a little nicer than t-shirts...

or business suite or pants always wearing pants... it is not sexy. Dressing like a woman very well could be one thing...

Another is time kids space and all the little things piled onto the brain... look at a weekend get way to a hotel or a night out to come home to an empty house... if it is possible...

other reasons could be shy about other medic problems flaccid or something else..

It could be a lot of things... woman are not the only ones to hold a grudge... something that has pissed him off that you did.. or did not do..

Could even be what is on the plate... what still has to be done...

Do not hold it against him but my one piece of advice is this, talk to him... ask him what can be done to make it easier or better... talk to him about it... communication will get to what is wrong and you and he can fix it...


Hope it helps...

Last Edited by FATMANGOBOOM on 11/04/2012 08:34 PM
Anonymous Coward
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11/04/2012 08:34 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
My wife wants to start an open relationship. I work away in the mines week on week off. and in her 30's she has a huge sex drive. it is driving her mad and she wants a fubu for the week I am at work. but she is also ok with me getting one at work too. I dont know if I should be happy or sad. we have been together for 12 years and have 3 kids. we are soul mates and madly in love. I should be ok with my wife wanting other sexual experiences if it means I get too as well.. right???

She is a big slut that has held her self in check all these years. should I just let her go on my week at work and fuck and suck cock? and I can find a fubu at work to fuck every night in my room. then on our week together we were thinking of dabbling in couple swapping too cause it seems pretty hot. the thought of he fucking other people does and doesnt scare me at the same time. its a strange feeling. if we could both get over these insecurities and realize our love for each other wont change no matter who we sleep with. sex is sex and our love for each other grows stronger every day. but she is in her prime and just gets these mad urges constantly to want to be filled by cock. she just wants release by being a slut. am I being selfish by wanting her to remain faithful?? or am I better accepting her slutty ways and finding it a huge turn on and take advantage of this chance to also become a man slut? as I also havent had many people as we got together in highschool. any help is appreciated. I am really torn. I could go either way. There is fear. but its fear of the unknown. maybe once it happens and we are out there fucking around it will all work out and the start of our new relationship with each other can begin. it could be a really wild and open relationship that actually gets stronger as we grow as individuals and a couple together.

What do you guys think..

sorry for hijacking. it seemed like we r kinda in the same boat.
If you hubby has a low sex drive maybe he would be ok with sharing you because he understands you are a horny slut that loves cock. Its animalistic and exiting to want different people. and its only sex. I know she wont fall in love and run away. I never fear that. its the jealousy I need to get over that she is getting sexual enjoyment from others.