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What makes men not want to have sex?

 
Evil_Twin

User ID: 23761243
United States
11/04/2012 08:51 PM

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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
Most married men will decline the opportunity to have sex with their wives when they are upset with/mad at/feel let down by their wives.

And the husband feels that he has no voice in explaining to you what he is at odds with-stemming from you-,that he's been down this road before with you and either you did not get the hint, or you blew up and made the problem he's experiencing with you "his" problem or "his" fault or villenized him for exposing to you that there is an issue that is in your court to deal with in a way he feels expresses your value for him.

Get it?

He may feel like he can't tell you.
The drama that could ensue may not be worth the risk of being honest and explaining his feelings.

It's probably an underlying issue you've both had to deal with befor, and I'd bet it ended poorly for him.

I'm not trying to be mean and I do truly hope this helps.

Men crave visual stemulation , work the angle and I'm sure you'll get what your after.

:)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15396218


Good lord.

I don't know what kind of 'men' you know, but the pansies you describe sound like under 30, progressive, girly men.

I never, ever feel like there is something I can't tell my woman.

Last Edited by Evil_Twin on 11/04/2012 08:55 PM
Hellbilly
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User ID: 1634456
Australia
11/04/2012 08:51 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
My wife wants to start an open relationship. I work away in the mines week on week off. and in her 30's she has a huge sex drive. it is driving her mad and she wants a fubu for the week I am at work. but she is also ok with me getting one at work too. I dont know if I should be happy or sad. we have been together for 12 years and have 3 kids. we are soul mates and madly in love. I should be ok with my wife wanting other sexual experiences if it means I get too as well.. right???

She is a big slut that has held her self in check all these years. should I just let her go on my week at work and fuck and suck cock? and I can find a fubu at work to fuck every night in my room. then on our week together we were thinking of dabbling in couple swapping too cause it seems pretty hot. the thought of he fucking other people does and doesnt scare me at the same time. its a strange feeling. if we could both get over these insecurities and realize our love for each other wont change no matter who we sleep with. sex is sex and our love for each other grows stronger every day. but she is in her prime and just gets these mad urges constantly to want to be filled by cock. she just wants release by being a slut. am I being selfish by wanting her to remain faithful?? or am I better accepting her slutty ways and finding it a huge turn on and take advantage of this chance to also become a man slut? as I also havent had many people as we got together in highschool. any help is appreciated. I am really torn. I could go either way. There is fear. but its fear of the unknown. maybe once it happens and we are out there fucking around it will all work out and the start of our new relationship with each other can begin. it could be a really wild and open relationship that actually gets stronger as we grow as individuals and a couple together.

What do you guys think..

sorry for hijacking. it seemed like we r kinda in the same boat.
If you hubby has a low sex drive maybe he would be ok with sharing you because he understands you are a horny slut that loves cock. Its animalistic and exiting to want different people. and its only sex. I know she wont fall in love and run away. I never fear that. its the jealousy I need to get over that she is getting sexual enjoyment from others.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1634456


I know a couple who got into swapping. After a while, turns out her husband and the wife of the couple they were swapping with started meeting without their spouses. when it was found out, 2 divorces happened. I guess when all 4 were in the room fucking it was ok but when the two of them were left out, it was an issue.

And bad news. If your wife is now asking you if she can screw other guys, she's already done it.
 Quoting: 284dan


We have been very honest about this topic. All our cheating baggage has been aired alredy. we both have cheating in the past. and we both agreed that with couples we would never see them singly. that is wrong to each other. think of her as a hippie. free love and all that. we honestly have never been more in love with each other. and I know her well. she isnt lying. she is being patient and really trying to help me understand her need for just sex. a cock to stuff in her pussy to ride. I can understand her point of view. I would love a pussy on the side for a different sexual gratification. we make make love everytime. we dont argue. everything could be better. If we can accept rules and boundaries we could enjoy a new level of sex and also have the best soul mate relationship we can. she does already have someone she has been texting that could be a fubu easily. but she is respecting me and has stopped texting and wont see him unless I am for it. but I dont have anybody right now. she wants me to get someone now so we can start our fubu's together. so it would be for the week I am at work. at home we r together or swapping together. could this option be doable??
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1634456


Not doable. If she develops feelings for someone else that you are swapping with or that she is seeing on your "off week" the marriage will be over. If you have kids, it will be bad for them.

Buy her a vibrator.
 Quoting: 284dan


LOL she has shit loads of vibrators. also she already fell in love with someone else a year ago and it was so messy. but she realized the stupidity of it because she loved me so much. she ended it and has grown from that mistake. I told you. I believe she has learnt how to keep it just sex. its not hard. porno start dont fall in love.
she loves me to bits. crazy about me. I have her whole heart. I believe this. its just the sex part I am having trouble getting over. having another man doing everything I do to her. but also It gets me horny too. strange feeling. and I would get to do the same. I havent cheated for years because I learnt my mistakes and respected her. she has learnt the same. she is being open with me and doesnt want to cheat but wants sanctioned cheating I suppose u could call it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15257059
United States
11/04/2012 08:51 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
porn is the problem...better fantasies, without all of the hassle's of pleasing the woman...

just being honest.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22151483
United States
11/04/2012 08:52 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
Having sex with the same woman gets boring.
Manu-Koelbren

User ID: 1312616
Spain
11/04/2012 08:54 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
porn is the problem...better fantasies, without all of the hassle's of pleasing the woman...

just being honest.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15257059


I grew tired of porn, I can't get a boner unless it is with my gf anymore. Porn helped to distract me, it was like a drug for me, sex doesn't do that effect. Now I feel i am going insane, I have anxiety attacks and shit, I need to drink or something to pacify myself.
"White privilege" is the liberal religion's version of Original Sin: you are born guilty, and you carry that burden of guilt all your life, and the only way to escape eternal damnation is for white people confess their sin, to bow, kneel and believe the dogma of the Church of Liberalism, genuflect at its altars, honor its saints, fill the collection plate, and never, ever doubt.

-- Dixon Diaz
Anonymous Coward
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United States
11/04/2012 08:55 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
porn is the problem...better fantasies, without all of the hassle's of pleasing the woman...

just being honest.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15257059


although, I have always thought that giving FREE PORN to the masses, was a ploy to lower birth rates, and it seems to be working.
SnakeAirlines

User ID: 655195
United States
11/04/2012 08:55 PM

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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
"What makes men not want to have sex?"

Stanky Poon

And after you wash it, shave that fucking thang...

Trying to eat through Pam Grier's doo on your punani is fucking gross...
"Hold my cat while I bring in my tomato plant. That chemtrail looks like an earthquake chemtrail"

deanoZXT-07/20/2014 07:48 PM
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 18632723
United States
11/04/2012 08:57 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
Just trying to understand my husbands sex drive. Is it normal that my sex drive is higher than his? What should I do?
 Quoting: Sparkles 7183572


Wow...A woman that not only keeps up but goes above,,,bravo....
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26954555
11/04/2012 08:57 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
i was a husband like this. sometimes you go long periods without and that becomes your new routine. i really had to see that my wife missed that intimacy and needed it then we really worked at getting the flame back and our sex life is amazing now. about every day of the week.

some of these answers are from idiots but some have merit. maybe try something new and interesting. go outdoors or something like that. maybe get some new night things. but dont change yourself just to please him. be confident and that is the sexiest thing of all. my wife and i have been married 13 years and she is still the sexiest woman i know. it is attitude. but most of all let him know how you miss it and not because you are a sex addict, most women seem to desire closeness of being intimate with their partner. it is important.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26954555


Thank you so much. You are 100 percent right....I just love him so much and it is hard to be so confident when I am so unsure as a result of his actions. I will try...if not for him for me! Thanks again
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7183572


thats right dear. it isnt all about him. marriage is not 50/50. it is 100/100. there is nothing wrong with you letting him know what you want and expect out of your marriage either. so many relationships are lost because of pride or even shyness when it comes to sex. people married years can still be shy about talking sex with each other. get past that and see what happens. i promise that is all it took with us. she just explained her feelings and i made it happen. i bet he will want to do the same!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27016115
United States
11/04/2012 08:58 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
maybe your babbling mouth is part of the problem.
Libra II
User ID: 1001450
Denmark
11/04/2012 08:59 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
A some three thousand year old dick?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26967861
United States
11/04/2012 08:59 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
Get this book:

'Super Marital Sex' by Paul P. Pearsall

The book explains how to fix EVERYTHING ELSE besides sex in a marriage. The idea is: when the marriage is healthy and strong, great sex naturally follows.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15257059
United States
11/04/2012 08:59 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
porn is the problem...better fantasies, without all of the hassle's of pleasing the woman...

just being honest.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15257059


although, I have always thought that giving FREE PORN to the masses, was a ploy to lower birth rates, and it seems to be working.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15257059


there was an article that was released just recently, I can not seem to find now, that states birth rates in North America are considerably low...***FREE PORN*** = Lower Births.
Evil_Twin

User ID: 23761243
United States
11/04/2012 09:00 PM

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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
If you can't talk to each other about what's bothering you, then you never should have married in the first place.

FFS, be honest with each other.
Hellbilly
Mr. D
User ID: 4603964
United States
11/04/2012 09:00 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
maybe your babbling mouth is part of the problem.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27016115


This coming from an American with the right to free speech. Why don't you move to a Country that doesn't allow it like China or something?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26954555
11/04/2012 09:00 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
Most married men will decline the opportunity to have sex with their wives when they are upset with/mad at/feel let down by their wives.

And the husband feels that he has no voice in explaining to you what he is at odds with-stemming from you-,that he's been down this road before with you and either you did not get the hint, or you blew up and made the problem he's experiencing with you "his" problem or "his" fault or villenized him for exposing to you that there is an issue that is in your court to deal with in a way he feels expresses your value for him.

Get it?

He may feel like he can't tell you.
The drama that could ensue may not be worth the risk of being honest and explaining his feelings.

It's probably an underlying issue you've both had to deal with befor, and I'd bet it ended poorly for him.

I'm not trying to be mean and I do truly hope this helps.

Men crave visual stemulation , work the angle and I'm sure you'll get what your after.

:)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15396218


Good lord.

I don't know what kind of 'men' you know, but the pansies you describe sound like under 30, progressive, girly men.

I never, ever feel like there is something I can't tell my woman.
 Quoting: Evil_Twin


hahaha no doubt! if that is the case, he needs to grow up. this is a good thread though.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23800820
United States
11/04/2012 09:02 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
ED or they are already having it with someone else.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15257059
United States
11/04/2012 09:03 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
porn is the problem...better fantasies, without all of the hassle's of pleasing the woman...

just being honest.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15257059


although, I have always thought that giving FREE PORN to the masses, was a ploy to lower birth rates, and it seems to be working.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15257059


there was an article that was released just recently, I can not seem to find now, that states birth rates in North America are considerably low...***FREE PORN*** = Lower Births.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15257059


NO, NO , NO...your answer is here ---FREE PORN--- is the cause of this "epidemic"...I'm telling you, it is a tool to lower the population increases!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22517012
United States
11/04/2012 09:03 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
Just trying to understand my husbands sex drive. Is it normal that my sex drive is higher than his? What should I do?
 Quoting: Sparkles 7183572


Prudish women...shit isn't any fun
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 13363335
United States
11/04/2012 09:03 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
Being from Canada.
THE Professor !
User ID: 26913454
United States
11/04/2012 09:04 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
Must explain my post above a little more.

Drove the entire Eastern Seaboard to FL just to ask her high school girlfriend one simple question, I was sure I knew the answer to already, with the second wife.

My first wife came from a family where the husband dominated his wife to tears at times, and I realized later in our 19 year marriage she MUST have chosen the mother as the innocent party ! Before divorce, at supper table, SHE became the dominate party in front of the children, taking on her Mothers role of the abused party in the marriage.

Second wife had the same domineering father type, but only the girlfriend knew, who had been to her house in their teens to witness it. She assumed the same role as my first wife, but there were no children. It is something buried DEEP in their memories and I don't think they consciously realize what they are doing That marriage was for 27 years.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
11/04/2012 09:05 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
Just trying to understand my husbands sex drive. Is it normal that my sex drive is higher than his? What should I do?
 Quoting: Sparkles 7183572


Am i missing something here? You should be happy about that right?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23800820
United States
11/04/2012 09:05 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
porn is the problem...better fantasies, without all of the hassle's of pleasing the woman...

just being honest.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15257059


I grew tired of porn, I can't get a boner unless it is with my gf anymore. Porn helped to distract me, it was like a drug for me, sex doesn't do that effect. Now I feel i am going insane, I have anxiety attacks and shit, I need to drink or something to pacify myself.
 Quoting: Manu-Koelbren


You men really need to be working from early dawn til night, they way it's meant to be.
SnakeAirlines

User ID: 655195
United States
11/04/2012 09:06 PM

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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
If you can't talk to each other about what's bothering you, then you never should have married in the first place.

FFS, be honest with each other.
 Quoting: Evil_Twin


There you go being all logical and honest again...

You always ruin my fun...

chuckle
"Hold my cat while I bring in my tomato plant. That chemtrail looks like an earthquake chemtrail"

deanoZXT-07/20/2014 07:48 PM
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26911513
United States
11/04/2012 09:06 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
Tell him to quit jerking off and that you expect all orgasms to be with you unless you're unable to satisfy him on that day.
Manu-Koelbren

User ID: 1312616
Spain
11/04/2012 09:08 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
porn is the problem...better fantasies, without all of the hassle's of pleasing the woman...

just being honest.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15257059


I grew tired of porn, I can't get a boner unless it is with my gf anymore. Porn helped to distract me, it was like a drug for me, sex doesn't do that effect. Now I feel i am going insane, I have anxiety attacks and shit, I need to drink or something to pacify myself.
 Quoting: Manu-Koelbren


You men really need to be working from early dawn til night, they way it's meant to be.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23800820


I work a fucking lot but I do night shifts so probably I am all fucked up mentally.
"White privilege" is the liberal religion's version of Original Sin: you are born guilty, and you carry that burden of guilt all your life, and the only way to escape eternal damnation is for white people confess their sin, to bow, kneel and believe the dogma of the Church of Liberalism, genuflect at its altars, honor its saints, fill the collection plate, and never, ever doubt.

-- Dixon Diaz
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25095450
Belize
11/04/2012 09:08 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
change your diet (serious)
you are what you eat

+

Just trying to understand my husbands sex drive. Is it normal that my sex drive is higher than his? What should I do?
 Quoting: Sparkles 7183572
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27016115
United States
11/04/2012 09:09 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
maybe its your vapid woman mouth babbling and turning him off?

ever thought of that? or talking endlessly about "how you feel".

look we really dont give a shit about how you feel and are sick of hearing about it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25095450
Belize
11/04/2012 09:09 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
change your diet (serious)
you are what you eat

+

Just trying to understand my husbands sex drive. Is it normal that my sex drive is higher than his? What should I do?
 Quoting: Sparkles 7183572
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26994301
Canada
11/04/2012 09:09 PM
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Re: What makes men not want to have sex?
What makes men not want to have sex?

free porn

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