Voting guide for the Conspiracy Theorist

So who do you vote for knowing what you know?
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Romney for the idiot conspiracy theorist
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You actually believe in the "Anyone but Obama" tactic.

You're voting Romney because you like your conspiracy theory spoon fed to you by the msm and talk radio so you never have to call yourself a conspiracy theorist.

You think Palin, Breitbart, Taitz, Beck, Savage, Limbaugh, Trump, and everyone at FOX News aren't somehow useful idiots for a "rabbit in the hat" operation against Obama.

You're basically buying into the uber obvious pseudo-conspiracy theory that Obama is an Islamic infiltrator, and Islam is trying to take over the world.

You think Drudge is breaking, un-manipulated, veritas.

You've checked everything at WND, and their probings into Obama's shady personal life, and you think his sinful lifestyle is completely abnormal for a post-Kennedy presidency.

You ignore the even shadier shit about the Bush family, whom is alleged to have partaken in pedophilia, and you think George W. Bush was a valiant fighter against an Islamic conspiracy.

You actually think Ron Paul is secretly endorsing Romney, and was simply running option for him during the election.

You won't vote for Obama because he is a Muslim, and you're doing this because you don't understand that Muslims actually believe Jesus to be the Messiah, but Mormons actually believe way weirder shit about the divinity of Joseph Smith, polygamy, israeli-native americans, and the inferiority of black people.

You think we can stop the third world war by being really ready to do it.

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Obama for the tactical conspiracy theorist
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You're voting Obama because you think he is less likely to start the third world war as a butt buddy with George Clooney and Angelina Jolie.

You know he has covered up numerous politically motivated murders and assassinations, but you ignore the low casualty rate this is causing.

You are also ignorant of the high likelihood of a false flag involving mass American casualties from a WMD to justify his eventual movement into war.

You think it will be better for race relations.

You like how shitty his administration is doing, and you think you might be able to get him impeached in the process.

You think it helps motivate a feeling of discontent with the federal government by the rich.

You ignore his incredible ability by his administration to be able to get away with the most blatantly corrupt activities. Even his open ineligibility for office.

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Johnson for the hopelessly romantic conspiracy theorist
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You vote your conscience.

You think your vote will matter, alas, be counted.

You hope there will be a significant enough percentage of Johnson voters that you will be collectively making a statement with your vote.

You think there is a possibility that he will win the popular vote.

You could care less which puppet goes into office, you know it's bad either way.

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You vote for someone obscure who has no chance of winning
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You are truly voting your conscience.

You hope you are making a statement.

You aren't being tactical, and you think you will survive the next four years to try again.

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You aren't voting
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You think it's all busted, and it's a waste of time.

You think that withdrawing your participation actually has some sort of positive effect.

You are lazy.

You are an idiot.