T'was the night before ransom, and all through his mind,
A panic was tromping, no rest would he find.
Though the vans of ward heelers were all prepped to drive,
The Kleptarch, in darkness, fought to survive.

Those he treated like children were all swaddled with lies,
While visions of more free crap* danced in their eyes.
The wife and I started writing our rant
'Cause outside the zombies had started to chant:
"Give it to me because I want it!"
(Yeah, I know that doesn't go with anything, and interrupts the scansion, but believe me – that's their distilled message in its entirety.)

-------------
Read the whole thing!
[link to www.nukingpolitics.com]