This totally reminds me of when I was little and wrote a letter to Santa saying that even though nobody else believed in him, and I'd found the box for the previous years gift in our attic, I still believed but needed a sign. I was really upset, getting the piss taken out of me, and bullied by other kids for believing in Santa. I asked for nothing more than him to show himself to me, I didn't care about any gifts, just wanted proof that my lovely idea was real.

Maybe I just didn't have enough faith?