What I've learned from Obama's re-election

1) Hard work and honesty are for suckers.

2) Stealing and cheating are the way to get what you want.

3) Islam really is destined to rule the world.

4) The Christian God doesn't answer prayer in any meaningful way.

5) Capitalism is evil and should be replaced with state-controlled rationing. Of everything.

6) Government schools are perfectly implemented to create a race of suicidal illiterate slaves.

7) There is no point in striving for excellence. Just buy off the judges.

8) Say one thing but do another. Lie, lie, lie. People love it when you tell them obviously lies, and then fuck them over.

9) Don't appeal to the general population's common sense, like assuming everyone knows there is no such thing as a free lunch. Tell them they are owed a free lunch.

10) Good does not triumph over evil. There may be small, insignificant instances, but overall, you might as well worship Satan, because evil has Earth in lock-down.

11) Be a Democrat. It's easier than working, taking responsibility for yourself, and acting morally.

Time to dance, drink, steal, and lie, and blame someone else for the results.