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Small problem...Help if you know about kids...

 
A Friend

User ID: 27389548
United States
11/09/2012 01:11 PM

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Small problem...Help if you know about kids...
My youngest who's father died within a month of his life, has been spoiled. He had wonderful people in his life who have spoiled him from birth.

They are witnessing the fruits of their labor and they don't like what they see but they want to blame my son when I think it is their fault mostly and their anger is misplaced.

I know many of you will put the blame on me, his mother. I've done the best I can but when there are people in your life who'll give you anything you want, that's hard to beat.

How would you treat this situation?

Last Edited by A Friend on 11/09/2012 01:11 PM
I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is. -Albert Camus

My 3 new books with some art and photography being original works, enjoy... [link to www.slideshare.net]

fnecsm
Anonymous Coward
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United States
11/09/2012 01:13 PM
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Re: Small problem...Help if you know about kids...
buckle down , stop giving him HIS way , remember , he's a child , you're the adult
Anonymous Coward
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11/09/2012 01:14 PM
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Re: Small problem...Help if you know about kids...
buckle down , stop giving him HIS way , remember , he's a child , you're the adult
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25610447


P.S. , learn to say NO!!!!!!!
A Friend (OP)

User ID: 27389548
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11/09/2012 01:14 PM

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Re: Small problem...Help if you know about kids...
You are right. Thanks.

sigh
I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is. -Albert Camus

My 3 new books with some art and photography being original works, enjoy... [link to www.slideshare.net]

fnecsm
Anonymous Coward
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11/09/2012 01:15 PM
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Re: Small problem...Help if you know about kids...
You are right. Thanks.

sigh
 Quoting: A Friend


yw, hf
A Friend (OP)

User ID: 27389548
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11/09/2012 01:16 PM

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Re: Small problem...Help if you know about kids...
I say no but they never do. They start out with no and change to yes. So, even when I say no, he expects to eventually hear yes.
I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is. -Albert Camus

My 3 new books with some art and photography being original works, enjoy... [link to www.slideshare.net]

fnecsm
Anonymous Coward
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11/09/2012 01:17 PM
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Re: Small problem...Help if you know about kids...
I say no but they never do. They start out with no and change to yes. So, even when I say no, he expects to eventually hear yes.
 Quoting: A Friend


chuckle , yup , my son was spolied by his mothers friends ( women ) , I had to step in and take control, he was spoled AND lazk , but I got a handle on it in the long run
Anonymous Coward
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11/09/2012 01:18 PM
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Re: Small problem...Help if you know about kids...
I say no but they never do. They start out with no and change to yes. So, even when I say no, he expects to eventually hear yes.
 Quoting: A Friend


chuckle , yup , my son was spolied by his mothers friends ( women ) , I had to step in and take control, he was spoled AND lazk , but I got a handle on it in the long run
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25610447


*lazy
Anonymous Coward
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11/09/2012 01:18 PM
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Re: Small problem...Help if you know about kids...
I say no but they never do. They start out with no and change to yes. So, even when I say no, he expects to eventually hear yes.
 Quoting: A Friend


you need to tell them no as well. he is your child, you have ultimate say.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27068761
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11/09/2012 01:20 PM
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Re: Small problem...Help if you know about kids...
You are right. Thanks.

sigh
 Quoting: A Friend


how old is he now? might be too late. people have to be more understanding if they spoiled the hell out of him.
the mighty Atom

User ID: 27087957
Japan
11/09/2012 01:21 PM
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Re: Small problem...Help if you know about kids...
I doubt that i would ask the Glp-People for a Tip!
G.Y.!B.E.
Seer777
Ride the wings of the mind

User ID: 23968297
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11/09/2012 01:22 PM

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Re: Small problem...Help if you know about kids...
How old is your son for starters?

As proper discipline must be gauged directly.

hf
Difficulties strengthen the Mind as labor does the body...
~Seneca
A Friend (OP)

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11/09/2012 01:23 PM

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Re: Small problem...Help if you know about kids...
You are right. Thanks.

sigh
 Quoting: A Friend


how old is he now? might be too late. people have to be more understanding if they spoiled the hell out of him.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27068761


You get the gist of my point. We are here visiting and he just turned 8. We flew here on his birthday to be with them.

Now they are ready to see us go, gladly. You mean you haven't left already?
I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is. -Albert Camus

My 3 new books with some art and photography being original works, enjoy... [link to www.slideshare.net]

fnecsm
A Friend (OP)

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11/09/2012 01:24 PM

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Re: Small problem...Help if you know about kids...
I doubt that i would ask the Glp-People for a Tip!
 Quoting: the mighty Atom


You would be surprised!
I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is. -Albert Camus

My 3 new books with some art and photography being original works, enjoy... [link to www.slideshare.net]

fnecsm
Blue Skies

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United States
11/09/2012 01:24 PM
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Re: Small problem...Help if you know about kids...
Explain to them that they are creating this. If they want to see him grow into a responsible adult. They will need to change some things. Good luck.
:kitten on fence:
A Friend (OP)

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11/09/2012 01:24 PM

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Re: Small problem...Help if you know about kids...
How old is your son for starters?

As proper discipline must be gauged directly.

hf
 Quoting: Seer777


He just turned 8.

hf
I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is. -Albert Camus

My 3 new books with some art and photography being original works, enjoy... [link to www.slideshare.net]

fnecsm
A Friend (OP)

User ID: 27389548
United States
11/09/2012 01:25 PM

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Re: Small problem...Help if you know about kids...
Explain to them that they are creating this. If they want to see him grow into a responsible adult. They will need to change some things. Good luck.
 Quoting: Blue Skies


Thank you. I need it!
I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is. -Albert Camus

My 3 new books with some art and photography being original works, enjoy... [link to www.slideshare.net]

fnecsm
BRIEF
Rebel with morals

User ID: 381742
United States
11/09/2012 01:25 PM

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Re: Small problem...Help if you know about kids...
My youngest who's father died within a month of his life, has been spoiled. He had wonderful people in his life who have spoiled him from birth.

They are witnessing the fruits of their labor and they don't like what they see but they want to blame my son when I think it is their fault mostly and their anger is misplaced.

I know many of you will put the blame on me, his mother. I've done the best I can but when there are people in your life who'll give you anything you want, that's hard to beat.

How would you treat this situation?
 Quoting: A Friend


So how many children with how many different fathers?
With freedom comes responsibility.

Heterosexual pride!

Briefcut4892
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25610447
United States
11/09/2012 01:26 PM
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Re: Small problem...Help if you know about kids...
My youngest who's father died within a month of his life, has been spoiled. He had wonderful people in his life who have spoiled him from birth.

They are witnessing the fruits of their labor and they don't like what they see but they want to blame my son when I think it is their fault mostly and their anger is misplaced.

I know many of you will put the blame on me, his mother. I've done the best I can but when there are people in your life who'll give you anything you want, that's hard to beat.

How would you treat this situation?
 Quoting: A Friend


So how many children with how many different fathers?
 Quoting: BRIEF
LOSER yet still make stupid posts
BRIEF
Rebel with morals

User ID: 381742
United States
11/09/2012 01:27 PM

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Re: Small problem...Help if you know about kids...
My youngest who's father died within a month of his life, has been spoiled. He had wonderful people in his life who have spoiled him from birth.

They are witnessing the fruits of their labor and they don't like what they see but they want to blame my son when I think it is their fault mostly and their anger is misplaced.

I know many of you will put the blame on me, his mother. I've done the best I can but when there are people in your life who'll give you anything you want, that's hard to beat.

How would you treat this situation?
 Quoting: A Friend


So how many children with how many different fathers?
 Quoting: BRIEF
LOSER yet still make stupid posts
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25610447


Then maybe you should stop posting...
With freedom comes responsibility.

Heterosexual pride!

Briefcut4892
A Friend (OP)

User ID: 27389548
United States
11/09/2012 01:28 PM

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Re: Small problem...Help if you know about kids...
My youngest who's father died within a month of his life, has been spoiled. He had wonderful people in his life who have spoiled him from birth.

They are witnessing the fruits of their labor and they don't like what they see but they want to blame my son when I think it is their fault mostly and their anger is misplaced.

I know many of you will put the blame on me, his mother. I've done the best I can but when there are people in your life who'll give you anything you want, that's hard to beat.

How would you treat this situation?
 Quoting: A Friend


So how many children with how many different fathers?
 Quoting: BRIEF


4 children with 2 fathers. I am divorced and a widow. The other three are fine because they were taught that no means no. The little guy skipped that lesson.
I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is. -Albert Camus

My 3 new books with some art and photography being original works, enjoy... [link to www.slideshare.net]

fnecsm
Shoot straight Johnny
Yeah...yeah and thrice yeah

User ID: 27373782
United Kingdom
11/09/2012 01:28 PM

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Re: Small problem...Help if you know about kids...
My youngest who's father died within a month of his life, has been spoiled. He had wonderful people in his life who have spoiled him from birth.

They are witnessing the fruits of their labor and they don't like what they see but they want to blame my son when I think it is their fault mostly and their anger is misplaced.


 Quoting: A Friend


How old is your son?

I don't think you can really blame 'others' for your son's behaviour, especially if he is old enough to know right from wrong. Even if they spoiled him.

What if the opposite were true, and your son had been deprived all his life (born in the ghetto, poor, nobody around to love him, etc), would you then also blame his circumstances (lack of things) for his behaviour?

I have often been accused of spoiling my grandson (11). and I agree that it's probably true. But I would rather him have things than not have things, if you know what I mean.

hf
The chariots of God are tens of thousands, and thousands of thousands.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25610447
United States
11/09/2012 01:29 PM
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Re: Small problem...Help if you know about kids...
My youngest who's father died within a month of his life, has been spoiled. He had wonderful people in his life who have spoiled him from birth.

They are witnessing the fruits of their labor and they don't like what they see but they want to blame my son when I think it is their fault mostly and their anger is misplaced.

I know many of you will put the blame on me, his mother. I've done the best I can but when there are people in your life who'll give you anything you want, that's hard to beat.

How would you treat this situation?
 Quoting: A Friend


So how many children with how many different fathers?
 Quoting: BRIEF
LOSER yet still make stupid posts
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25610447


Then maybe you should stop posting...
 Quoting: BRIEF


you're a sick little boy , seek help, SOON!!!
A Friend (OP)

User ID: 27389548
United States
11/09/2012 01:30 PM

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Re: Small problem...Help if you know about kids...
My youngest who's father died within a month of his life, has been spoiled. He had wonderful people in his life who have spoiled him from birth.

They are witnessing the fruits of their labor and they don't like what they see but they want to blame my son when I think it is their fault mostly and their anger is misplaced.

I know many of you will put the blame on me, his mother. I've done the best I can but when there are people in your life who'll give you anything you want, that's hard to beat.

How would you treat this situation?
 Quoting: A Friend


So how many children with how many different fathers?
 Quoting: BRIEF
LOSER yet still make stupid posts
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25610447


... I'm white, I grageated m' edgumacation. I gotz me an obammy phone, to.
I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is. -Albert Camus

My 3 new books with some art and photography being original works, enjoy... [link to www.slideshare.net]

fnecsm
A Friend (OP)

User ID: 27389548
United States
11/09/2012 01:32 PM

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Re: Small problem...Help if you know about kids...
My youngest who's father died within a month of his life, has been spoiled. He had wonderful people in his life who have spoiled him from birth.

They are witnessing the fruits of their labor and they don't like what they see but they want to blame my son when I think it is their fault mostly and their anger is misplaced.


 Quoting: A Friend


How old is your son?

I don't think you can really blame 'others' for your son's behaviour, especially if he is old enough to know right from wrong. Even if they spoiled him.

What if the opposite were true, and your son had been deprived all his life (born in the ghetto, poor, nobody around to love him, etc), would you then also blame his circumstances (lack of things) for his behaviour?

I have often been accused of spoiling my grandson (11). and I agree that it's probably true. But I would rather him have things than not have things, if you know what I mean.

hf
 Quoting: Shoot straight Johnny


Yes I do. Now, however since he gets everything he wants, he doesn't care about the things that he gets.

He's always after the next best thing. He's relentless.
I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is. -Albert Camus

My 3 new books with some art and photography being original works, enjoy... [link to www.slideshare.net]

fnecsm
BRIEF
Rebel with morals

User ID: 381742
United States
11/09/2012 01:32 PM

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Re: Small problem...Help if you know about kids...
My youngest who's father died within a month of his life, has been spoiled. He had wonderful people in his life who have spoiled him from birth.

They are witnessing the fruits of their labor and they don't like what they see but they want to blame my son when I think it is their fault mostly and their anger is misplaced.

I know many of you will put the blame on me, his mother. I've done the best I can but when there are people in your life who'll give you anything you want, that's hard to beat.

How would you treat this situation?
 Quoting: A Friend


So how many children with how many different fathers?
 Quoting: BRIEF


4 children with 2 fathers. I am divorced and a widow. The other three are fine because they were taught that no means no. The little guy skipped that lesson.
 Quoting: A Friend


spanking101
With freedom comes responsibility.

Heterosexual pride!

Briefcut4892
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23683415
United States
11/09/2012 01:32 PM
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Re: Small problem...Help if you know about kids...
You need to start telling him no but don't stop there, you need to tell these other people no as well.

No more unwarranted goodies. Make it rewards from now on. Rewards for milestones, not for picking up a few toys in a bedroom. He is 8, so he is in, 3rd grade? I would say that you need to re-establish a schedule/routine for him. Sure, he has a school routine, but when he comes home...
he sits down. End of story. Does homework. End of story. When he is done, supper is ready and will be eaten. End of story. When supper is done, he does his share of clean-up. End of story. When clean-up is done, he gets tv/music/games whatever, and then bed time.

This sounds like it will be difficult but it's not. One action starts, no debating. When that action is done, the next starts, and so on. Eventually it will be his definite routine and will seem strange to stray from it. I was in the same situation. I have an only child, no death involved but I had cancer a year ago and cannot have more kids so since he is their oldest son's only son, he gets anything and everything. I finally said enough is enough. THEY need to know the boundaries apply to them as well, none of this "don't tell mom" BS.

Hope this helps.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23683415
United States
11/09/2012 01:33 PM
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Re: Small problem...Help if you know about kids...
My youngest who's father died within a month of his life, has been spoiled. He had wonderful people in his life who have spoiled him from birth.

They are witnessing the fruits of their labor and they don't like what they see but they want to blame my son when I think it is their fault mostly and their anger is misplaced.

I know many of you will put the blame on me, his mother. I've done the best I can but when there are people in your life who'll give you anything you want, that's hard to beat.

How would you treat this situation?
 Quoting: A Friend


So how many children with how many different fathers?
 Quoting: BRIEF
LOSER yet still make stupid posts
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25610447


It's a valid question, you uneducated dickhole. She mentioned her youngest's father. That means there is more children and more fathers involved.
A Friend (OP)

User ID: 27389548
United States
11/09/2012 01:36 PM

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Re: Small problem...Help if you know about kids...
My youngest who's father died within a month of his life, has been spoiled. He had wonderful people in his life who have spoiled him from birth.

They are witnessing the fruits of their labor and they don't like what they see but they want to blame my son when I think it is their fault mostly and their anger is misplaced.

I know many of you will put the blame on me, his mother. I've done the best I can but when there are people in your life who'll give you anything you want, that's hard to beat.

How would you treat this situation?
 Quoting: A Friend


So how many children with how many different fathers?
 Quoting: BRIEF


4 children with 2 fathers. I am divorced and a widow. The other three are fine because they were taught that no means no. The little guy skipped that lesson.
 Quoting: A Friend


spanking101
 Quoting: BRIEF


I am getting that more and more! He is a screamer. He's screaming before he even gets hit! I don't want the neighbors to call the cops on me. I suppose I could take him to a secluded place....no! You see how these things can be taken badly?!
I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is. -Albert Camus

My 3 new books with some art and photography being original works, enjoy... [link to www.slideshare.net]

fnecsm
A Friend (OP)

User ID: 27389548
United States
11/09/2012 01:37 PM

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Re: Small problem...Help if you know about kids...
You need to start telling him no but don't stop there, you need to tell these other people no as well.

No more unwarranted goodies. Make it rewards from now on. Rewards for milestones, not for picking up a few toys in a bedroom. He is 8, so he is in, 3rd grade? I would say that you need to re-establish a schedule/routine for him. Sure, he has a school routine, but when he comes home...
he sits down. End of story. Does homework. End of story. When he is done, supper is ready and will be eaten. End of story. When supper is done, he does his share of clean-up. End of story. When clean-up is done, he gets tv/music/games whatever, and then bed time.

This sounds like it will be difficult but it's not. One action starts, no debating. When that action is done, the next starts, and so on. Eventually it will be his definite routine and will seem strange to stray from it. I was in the same situation. I have an only child, no death involved but I had cancer a year ago and cannot have more kids so since he is their oldest son's only son, he gets anything and everything. I finally said enough is enough. THEY need to know the boundaries apply to them as well, none of this "don't tell mom" BS.

Hope this helps.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23683415


You hit the biggest nail on the head..."don't tell mom"! Where in the heck in their minds does this seem like a good thing to say?!?
I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is. -Albert Camus

My 3 new books with some art and photography being original works, enjoy... [link to www.slideshare.net]

fnecsm
ExTraDimensionaL777

User ID: 27300308
Belgium
11/09/2012 01:40 PM
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Re: Small problem...Help if you know about kids...
buckle down , stop giving him HIS way , remember , he's a child , you're the adult
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25610447


P.S. , learn to say NO!!!!!!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25610447


I love how kids can brainwash adults..

Its so pure.... (:

''unintentional''': )))) or maybe because the intentions are pure - works !!

Peace yo happyheart
These dayz through THA REAL RAP (element of hip-hop)--------------------------------------EACH ONE TEACH ONE----------------------------------------P.OSiTiVE
-> (THERE iS NO REAL RAP ON TV or RADiOs) <- ----------------------------------------------------NO JUSTICE----------------------------------------------E​.NERGY
is the only way youths listen to--------------------------------------------------------​------------------------JUST US---------------------------------------A.CTiVATES
t​he Prophets !!! ------------------------------------"..artificial physical material posessions posses you-------------------------------------------------------​-C.ONSTANT
----------------------------------------------------------​-------------------you are your own self rescue-----------------------------------------------------​-------E.LEVATiON
PROOF -> 'CAN YOU CATCH iT???' --------------------------------------GOD BLESS YOU " [link to www.youtube.com] ----------------------------

remembah: FEAR iS THA MiND-KiLLAH [link to www.youtube.com]

separation is the ego's greatest politRick-------------------------------------------------​----------------------------------------
[link to www.youtube.com]

CONTROL YOUR OWN THOUGHT PATTERNS ! Do NOT allow to be controlled ! --------------------
-------------------------------------​-------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------- SELF-DESTRUCTION IS THA POWA
LiGHT = iNFORMATiON ;D ----------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------​--- WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT THE FUNCTION IS !!!!
------------------------------------------------------​-------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------- [link to www.youtube.com]
peace2daUNIVERSE------------------- There's NO MYSTERiES, ONLY KNOWLEDGE & iGNORANCE ----------------- SAD TO SEE MEDICINE DIVORCE MORALITY... ;/

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