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| 08:12 AM | ||
| Users Online Now: 1,555 (Who's On?) | Visitors Today: 396,337 | |
| Pageviews Today: 655,494 | Threads Today: 201 | Posts Today: 3,925 |
| 08:12 AM | ||
I need Advice - please help me! | |
| CONFUSED User ID: 5635580  United States11/09/2012 06:20 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
curiouslyinterested  User ID: 25678800  Canada11/09/2012 06:27 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | This is the best advice you will ever hear.... Kick his ass to the curb! I worked in a male dominated industry for over 2 decades. All of them... I MEAN ALL OF THEM cheated on their wives. Even the timid ones. They all treated me like their sister, so I got to see it constantly. You did nothing wrong. Everyone of them 'gave some lame excuse' for their actions. Face the facts! Kick his ass to the curb! |
| CONFUSED (OP) User ID: 5635580 United States11/09/2012 06:30 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | THanks for the Reply - But oddly enough - he got so mad at me for looking in his phone - he told me that I was in the WRONG and he BLEW up and left on his own. Telling me he is not married.... Telling me he doesn't have to deal with me... telling me i am the one with issues & i need help.... Telling me that all of our fights stem from the fact that i have NO TRUST .... So he is not here for me to kick to the curb - he blew up and left on his own. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 21656968 United States11/09/2012 06:33 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 1106916 United States11/09/2012 06:34 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I need to ask as many people as possible the following questions: Quoting: CONFUSED 5635580 1) After dating my boyfriend for a year and a half - i felt the need to look in his phone. I never did it before, but something inside of me told me to look. Did i commit a sin? 2) In the phone i see a message he sent to another girl - asking her when he can see her, and inserted a smiley face. I was shocked and upset on a level words can not express to see him say that to another girl. Apparently he was talking to her behind my back and it seems like he had plans to see her too (behind my back). I was so upset - should i be? Here is some added information - i have to share my dog with an EX. Which means me and the EX have to text/talk on the phone in order to arrange pick up and drop off times for the Dog. I never tell my EX i want to see him, in fact, i hate having to talk to him so much that i usually text his new girlfriend instead just to avoid talking to him. Does this give my current boyfriend the right to see another girl behind my back? My current boyfriend tells me that it is NOT NORMAL for me to share my dog with an EX - is this true? Am i NOT NORMAL because I broke up with an EX and we agreed to share the dog? Should my current boyfriend be able to talk to other girls and tell them he wants to see them just because i share my dog with an EX? Please give me some advice - i can use as much help as possible. No, you did not sin, and yes you should be upset that he's making a date with another girl. Nothing wrong with visitation for the dog, it's like a child for some people. That's perfectly fine and it does not give him the right to see other girls. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 1106916 United States11/09/2012 06:35 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | THanks for the Reply - Quoting: CONFUSED 5635580 But oddly enough - he got so mad at me for looking in his phone - he told me that I was in the WRONG and he BLEW up and left on his own. Telling me he is not married.... Telling me he doesn't have to deal with me... telling me i am the one with issues & i need help.... Telling me that all of our fights stem from the fact that i have NO TRUST .... So he is not here for me to kick to the curb - he blew up and left on his own. Maybe if he stopped talking to other girls you could trust him. The problem is his, not yours.  |
| CONFUSED (OP) User ID: 5635580 United States11/09/2012 06:35 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 13158115 United States11/09/2012 06:37 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | THanks for the Reply - Quoting: CONFUSED 5635580 But oddly enough - he got so mad at me for looking in his phone - he told me that I was in the WRONG and he BLEW up and left on his own. Telling me he is not married.... Telling me he doesn't have to deal with me... telling me i am the one with issues & i need help.... Telling me that all of our fights stem from the fact that i have NO TRUST .... So he is not here for me to kick to the curb - he blew up and left on his own. You are not wrong. Don't take his calls. Let him know you mean business. Cause if you don't mean business, he will do this to you over and over and over..... |
| scorpio66 User ID: 2453057 United States11/09/2012 06:38 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| CO (OP) User ID: 5635580 United States11/09/2012 06:39 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| CONFUSED (OP) User ID: 5635580 United States11/09/2012 06:40 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | personally, i don't think you should have violated his privacy, but, yeah, he's guilty and trying to make you feel bad for it so you forget he's a cheater. guess you were right to not trust him. so now, don't be played a fool and move on. Quoting: scorpio66 YEs - i know it was a violation of privacy - but after dating someone for over a year - there should be NO Secrets. SO - with that said - he can look through my phone if he wants....every guy i ever dated did that to me at one point. I think we ALL do it at some point. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 26795689 United States11/09/2012 06:42 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 26554473 United States11/09/2012 06:46 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 19617445 United States11/09/2012 06:48 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 24002333 United States11/09/2012 06:54 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 27336941  United Kingdom11/09/2012 06:54 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Solarninja User ID: 24870479 United States11/09/2012 06:55 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| CONFUSED (OP) User ID: 5635580 United States11/09/2012 07:02 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| INK3 User ID: 27337849 United States11/09/2012 07:03 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| CONFUSED (OP) User ID: 5635580 United States11/09/2012 07:08 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 26048166 United States11/09/2012 07:15 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | personally, i don't think you should have violated his privacy, but, yeah, he's guilty and trying to make you feel bad for it so you forget he's a cheater. guess you were right to not trust him. so now, don't be played a fool and move on. Quoting: scorpio66 This ^ Whenever a girl gets a ''gut'' feeling...it is usually correct. The problem is, she follows her gut, finds the info that in which she felt untrusting of, and then asks others if she was in the wrong to look in the first place, and asks if what he's doing is wrong. Bottom line: Women need to follow their gut. You did, you found out, and you confronted him, he blew up because he's doing EXACTLY what the other wrote above. Move on... Nothing wrong with animal sharing, it happens. If one feels they need to start peeking into cell phones and emails (just saying), then you know what? You have your answer. You do not trust...and that is the answer to what one needs to do to either move on, or present the distrust issue and see if the relationship can heal. |
| SevenThunders User ID: 15851599 United States11/09/2012 07:17 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I can tell you are young and you still have a lot to learn about life. Looking at your boyfriends phone is a violation of privacy and may actually be against the law. Nevertheless your boyfriend was cheating on you, presuming that you had made some kind of commitment to each other. However there is a higher law at work here that has affected both you and your boyfriend. That law is God's morality laws. Sex outside of the marriage bond is called fornication and is a major reason why so many young people are under a grave curse and in danger of hell. If you really want to fill that loss with someone who will love you unconditionally, you need to turn to Jesus Christ, believe in Him and make him your Lord and savior. You can then gain the power over sin and lust and turn away from the worlds way of doing things. The world's technique always leaves people bitter and heartbroken. There is no commitment and no lasting love. Indeed what motive does a man have to stay with any woman in this society? If you do it God's way, you need not worry about that. God's got your back. With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible |
| CONFUSED (OP) User ID: 5635580 United States11/09/2012 07:24 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I DOUBT it is against the law to look in someone phone. And considering this is someone i have dated for a year and a half - i think at that point - there should be no secrets and nothing to hide - so there should be no reason for me NOT to be able to look. He stays up all night using my Laptop - I dont care - i am sure he looked through the entire thing! I have nothing to hide - I give him free access to whatever he wants. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 26795689 United States11/09/2012 07:27 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I can tell you are young and you still have a lot to learn about life. Looking at your boyfriends phone is a violation of privacy and may actually be against the law. Quoting: SevenThunders Nevertheless your boyfriend was cheating on you, presuming that you had made some kind of commitment to each other. However there is a higher law at work here that has affected both you and your boyfriend. That law is God's morality laws. Sex outside of the marriage bond is called fornication and is a major reason why so many young people are under a grave curse and in danger of hell. If you really want to fill that loss with someone who will love you unconditionally, you need to turn to Jesus Christ, believe in Him and make him your Lord and savior. You can then gain the power over sin and lust and turn away from the worlds way of doing things. The world's technique always leaves people bitter and heartbroken. There is no commitment and no lasting love. Indeed what motive does a man have to stay with any woman in this society? If you do it God's way, you need not worry about that. God's got your back. Save this fire & brimstone garbage for a Christian forum. If anything were to be classified as a 'sin' it would be your use of fear-mongering tactics to try and convert followers to accept your deluded religious dogma. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone", remember that one? You better be careful about what your project onto others. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 27161115 United States11/09/2012 07:46 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I have been questioning lately the whole need for complete ownership in a relationship lately. Love happens sometimes when were with someone else - it's an age old story. Why do we need to tie someone down for the rest of their life? I don't know the answers, just thinking on it. I do know it is wrong to open someone else's mail, email, or phone mail. Maybe you had indications before, and you can't make love happen, maybe him leaving so easily is the answer, cause he would have stayed and battled to keep you if he loved you... |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 26945271 United States11/09/2012 07:55 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I need to ask as many people as possible the following questions: Quoting: CONFUSED 5635580 1) After dating my boyfriend for a year and a half - i felt the need to look in his phone. I never did it before, but something inside of me told me to look. Did i commit a sin? 2) In the phone i see a message he sent to another girl - asking her when he can see her, and inserted a smiley face. I was shocked and upset on a level words can not express to see him say that to another girl. Apparently he was talking to her behind my back and it seems like he had plans to see her too (behind my back). I was so upset - should i be? Here is some added information - i have to share my dog with an EX. Which means me and the EX have to text/talk on the phone in order to arrange pick up and drop off times for the Dog. I never tell my EX i want to see him, in fact, i hate having to talk to him so much that i usually text his new girlfriend instead just to avoid talking to him. Does this give my current boyfriend the right to see another girl behind my back? My current boyfriend tells me that it is NOT NORMAL for me to share my dog with an EX - is this true? Am i NOT NORMAL because I broke up with an EX and we agreed to share the dog? Should my current boyfriend be able to talk to other girls and tell them he wants to see them just because i share my dog with an EX? Please give me some advice - i can use as much help as possible. Here's your advice from a wise old scholar who knows the world: 1) Ditch the current boyfriend with the T/A on the side on the phone. 2) Ditch the EX with the dog. Give the EX the dog and be done with it. 3) Don't date anybody for 1 year. Don't go drinking for 1 year. 4) Meet the next boyfriend at school (college)... preferably in a nursing program (you). 5) Do NOT GET PREGO BY ANYBODY until you are 29 years old. 6) Follow my advice and you will have a happy life. Ignore my advice and you will regret all the missed opportunities in your life. |
| CONFUSED (OP) User ID: 5635580 United States11/09/2012 08:02 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 23794435 United States11/09/2012 08:08 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | THanks for the Reply - Quoting: CONFUSED 5635580 But oddly enough - he got so mad at me for looking in his phone - he told me that I was in the WRONG and he BLEW up and left on his own. Telling me he is not married.... Telling me he doesn't have to deal with me... telling me i am the one with issues & i need help.... Telling me that all of our fights stem from the fact that i have NO TRUST .... So he is not here for me to kick to the curb - he blew up and left on his own. Google 'crazy making' and possibly emotional abuse. |
| CONFUSED (OP) User ID: 5635580 United States11/09/2012 08:10 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| cowardlyMe User ID: 20395699 United States11/09/2012 08:11 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| CONFUSED (OP) User ID: 5635580 United States11/09/2012 08:14 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | No - there are no court agreements. At first - when I broke up with him - he said since i am leaving him - that meant i was leaving the dog as well. I bit the bullet - and walked away from her - and cried like someone died. He called me a few days later and said she would not come out of the bathroom - she was depressed - and he could not see her like that. Ever since that day - we just agreed to share her. I feel like he did me a favor by offering to share her - so it is just a verbal agreement. |
