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I never had an orgasm with my husband...?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27052127
11/09/2012 09:51 PM
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I never had an orgasm with my husband...?
My husband and I have been married 5 years and I've never had an orgasm with him.
He knows this and it upsets him.
I think it upsets him more that he can't please me, than the fact that Im not pleased.

When I told him I just can't have an orgasm with him, he flipped out. He's the only man I've ever slept with, maybe Im not experienced with penises, I dont know....I do have a lot of orgasms on my own. Sometimes 3 a day. Sometimes on my horniest day, maybe 8.
I am highly sexual, but I can't seem to have an orgasm with him. Yes, I've tried to hold of on masturbation so I can reserve my sexual energy for him, it still doesn't happen.
I guess Im just not comfortable with letting it all out with him.

I honestly regret telling him I don't have o's with him. Now he's so critical, I didn't tell him about my masturbation when Im alone, this would only make him even more upset.

I've tried everything to have an orgasm with him, its just not happening. I've let it go, I don't seek it out anymore. Now when we have sex, I just enjoy the closeness of us being together, and not so much the physical pleasure of sex.

Should I have faked it all this time to keep him happy?
He's just so upset about it, he says then what's the point of having sex if I don't have o's. I told him it means a lot to me to have sex with him because of the intimacy and closeness. He says its all b.s, that I should be able to have an o with him.
I mean, he does everything I tell him to do, all the things I do to myself that get me to have an o, I just can't do it when he does it. I made sure to let him know that its not him, its me. Its my own mental block I have, and he still wont let it go.

Was I wrong to tell him?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1657938
United States
11/09/2012 09:52 PM
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Re: I never had an orgasm with my husband...?
You have to caugh to get off lolsign
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27413067
United States
11/09/2012 09:54 PM
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Re: I never had an orgasm with my husband...?
I honestly regret telling him I don't have o's with him.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27052127



If this is more than just a troll post, you are gonna regret telling this message board, too.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27365645
United States
11/09/2012 09:55 PM
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Re: I never had an orgasm with my husband...?
Does he perform cunnilingus on you?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 19522050
United States
11/09/2012 09:55 PM
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Re: I never had an orgasm with my husband...?
who cares we all rot and worms have orgasms while they eat us
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 706857
United States
11/09/2012 10:00 PM
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Re: I never had an orgasm with my husband...?
hey there fella
weasel keeper

User ID: 15395274
United States
11/09/2012 10:01 PM
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Re: I never had an orgasm with my husband...?
It sounds like you have been finger-blasting all of your life, and your husbands dick doesn't feel like your finger, that means "you're fucked" (pun intended).
maybe try a pud-collar.beavis

Last Edited by Weasel Keeper on 11/09/2012 10:04 PM
Wild Weasels? You've got to be shitting me!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 27052127
11/09/2012 10:05 PM
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Re: I never had an orgasm with my husband...?
Does he perform cunnilingus on you?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27365645


Yeah he does and also the ass licking.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26612419
Canada
11/09/2012 10:08 PM
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Re: I never had an orgasm with my husband...?
So tell him, guys like to watch :) Besides, you can do yourself while he is doing you too you know. It's allowed.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1135376
United States
11/09/2012 10:23 PM
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Re: I never had an orgasm with my husband...?
I didn't tell him about my masturbation when Im alone,

Should I have faked it all this time to keep him happy?

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27052127


not being honest from the first time you had sex was wrong.
My girlfriend only had one O with me during sex, she had to fake them for me to come, but it was never a secret, She would then give herself an O, then another round with me. It was all good. you guys sound immature.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1135376
United States
11/09/2012 10:26 PM
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Re: I never had an orgasm with my husband...?
between the lies, his ego, and the finger banging ... it sounds like you need to really talk about it all
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26546277
United States
11/09/2012 10:28 PM
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Re: I never had an orgasm with my husband...?
This is posted on a conspiracy site, why?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27424367
Sweden
11/09/2012 10:37 PM
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Re: I never had an orgasm with my husband...?
me neighter, so i tried your brother and he is fucking great!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27302468
Canada
11/09/2012 10:37 PM
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Re: I never had an orgasm with my husband...?
Social conditioning and guilt based brainwashing has done a good job on your psyche.
Google White Tiger Tantra - Sexual Awakening or you can download it from a torrent for free.
It literally fixes you.
chula homa

User ID: 10606077
Canada
11/09/2012 10:40 PM
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Re: I never had an orgasm with my husband...?
when you masturbate, what do you think about?
share that with him. it's the only way..

Last Edited by chulahoma on 11/09/2012 10:41 PM
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27302468
Canada
11/09/2012 10:40 PM
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Re: I never had an orgasm with my husband...?
Social conditioning and guilt based brainwashing has done a good job on your psyche.
Google White Tiger Tantra - Sexual Awakening or you can download it from a torrent for free.
It literally fixes you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27302468


[link to isohunt.com]
You're welcome.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24314629
United States
11/09/2012 10:43 PM
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Re: I never had an orgasm with my husband...?
My husband and I have been married 5 years and I've never had an orgasm with him.
He knows this and it upsets him.
I think it upsets him more that he can't please me, than the fact that Im not pleased.

When I told him I just can't have an orgasm with him, he flipped out. He's the only man I've ever slept with, maybe Im not experienced with penises, I dont know....I do have a lot of orgasms on my own. Sometimes 3 a day. Sometimes on my horniest day, maybe 8.
I am highly sexual, but I can't seem to have an orgasm with him. Yes, I've tried to hold of on masturbation so I can reserve my sexual energy for him, it still doesn't happen.
I guess Im just not comfortable with letting it all out with him.

I honestly regret telling him I don't have o's with him. Now he's so critical, I didn't tell him about my masturbation when Im alone, this would only make him even more upset.

I've tried everything to have an orgasm with him, its just not happening. I've let it go, I don't seek it out anymore. Now when we have sex, I just enjoy the closeness of us being together, and not so much the physical pleasure of sex.

Should I have faked it all this time to keep him happy?
He's just so upset about it, he says then what's the point of having sex if I don't have o's. I told him it means a lot to me to have sex with him because of the intimacy and closeness. He says its all b.s, that I should be able to have an o with him.
I mean, he does everything I tell him to do, all the things I do to myself that get me to have an o, I just can't do it when he does it. I made sure to let him know that its not him, its me. Its my own mental block I have, and he still wont let it go.

Was I wrong to tell him?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27052127


He does everything you tell him to do? So this is easy. Take a shower with him, and letting him know ahead of time, afterwards, have him lick your pussy until you cum. Even if it takes hours. Tell him if he's licking too hard or too softly, or not the right spot, or too quickly or slowly. If you want a finger or two inside of you, let him know. You are in control of your orgasm, tell him what you need, as if you were doing it to yourself, and if he really will do anything and everything you tell him, you'll get an amazing orgasm and he can hone his skills.

This spoken by a man who's made his g/f come thousands of times over the past 6 years. There's a reason she sticks around and doesn't even THINK of another guy. She has me and I give her what she needs.

If your orgasm issue goes unresolved I guarantee no happy future in your relationship. These are honest words spoken by an honest man and I hope they help you sweetheart.
eve incognito
User ID: 25432398
Bosnia and Herzegovina
11/09/2012 10:48 PM
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Re: I never had an orgasm with my husband...?
tough one.must be devastating both for you and your husband.are you sure he is your husband though, i mean how did you marry a man you aren't close enough with to have an orgasm in the first place? maybe there is a better husband for you out there, and you aren't looking coz you have one right now.you are torturing your current husband too, coz of course he minds he can't get his lady to climax, what kind of a man would not be crushed. he probably cheats on you, you know.he needs to make sure it really is you and not him, so he finds other women....one of you should be brave enough to end that torture of a marriage...sorry, if i sound cold, i'm giving my honest two cents.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 6493463
United States
11/09/2012 10:52 PM
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Re: I never had an orgasm with my husband...?
So tell him, guys like to watch :) Besides, you can do yourself while he is doing you too you know. It's allowed.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26612419


^^^^^^^
THIS

Also, how old are you? I had that problem in my 20s but in my 30s I became a horny sex fiend with no problem responding.

Ironically I think estrogen is an anti-sexuality drug and when levels start to drop in your 30s, your progesterone and small amounts of testosterone take over. Give it time...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24314629
United States
11/09/2012 10:53 PM
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Re: I never had an orgasm with my husband...?
tough one.must be devastating both for you and your husband.are you sure he is your husband though, i mean how did you marry a man you aren't close enough with to have an orgasm in the first place? maybe there is a better husband for you out there, and you aren't looking coz you have one right now.you are torturing your current husband too, coz of course he minds he can't get his lady to climax, what kind of a man would not be crushed. he probably cheats on you, you know.he needs to make sure it really is you and not him, so he finds other women....one of you should be brave enough to end that torture of a marriage...sorry, if i sound cold, i'm giving my honest two cents.
 Quoting: eve incognito 25432398


I disagree, I do no believe this relationship is over, and I know what you are trying to say. The OP has come here for help and so it MUST be worth our time to try to assist. The OP has stated the husbands willingness to get the job done. And although I do agree that the end result without orgasm will be divorce, I do not believe that OP's husband is incapable of giving the OP an orgasm.

OP please, if you can have an orgasm on your own, I guarantee you can teach your husband to do it. On second thought, I think you are over thinking this. You need to be naughty, to be dangerous, you need to create some excitement. This will enable you to throw off your inhibitions which I seem to feel are strong. Perhaps getting drunk with your husband one night and partaking in some role-play. Or just setting aside 24-48 hours with no interruptions to focus on the task at hand. One thing I will say is that without succeeding in this task, you will not succeed in marriage.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 6493463
United States
11/09/2012 10:55 PM
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Re: I never had an orgasm with my husband...?
tough one.must be devastating both for you and your husband.are you sure he is your husband though, i mean how did you marry a man you aren't close enough with to have an orgasm in the first place? maybe there is a better husband for you out there, and you aren't looking coz you have one right now.you are torturing your current husband too, coz of course he minds he can't get his lady to climax, what kind of a man would not be crushed. he probably cheats on you, you know.he needs to make sure it really is you and not him, so he finds other women....one of you should be brave enough to end that torture of a marriage...sorry, if i sound cold, i'm giving my honest two cents.
 Quoting: eve incognito 25432398



Also consider trying a vibrator and/or running water. Hot tub jets are nice. The problem with orgasms is that the harder you try, the more elusive they become. And vice versa. You know how men go nuts trying to hold back and just can't.

Well maybe you coudl ry reverse psychology on yourself and tell yourself DO NOT RESPOND. Worth a shot I guess.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27339405
United States
11/09/2012 11:02 PM
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Re: I never had an orgasm with my husband...?
How long does your husband last after penetration? How much time does he spend on fore-play?
Is he able to last at least 20 minutes after he hits it?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26579062
United States
11/09/2012 11:03 PM
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Re: I never had an orgasm with my husband...?
you cumm alone 8 times a day and you never came with your fucking HUSBAND??? 5 years?????

you gotta be a troll.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27339405
United States
11/09/2012 11:03 PM
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Re: I never had an orgasm with my husband...?
How long does your husband last after penetration? How much time does he spend on fore-play?
Is he able to last at least 20 minutes after he hits it?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27339405



Oh, and when you masturbate, you might practice seeing how fast you can cum, instead of how long you can make it last.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21425114
United States
11/09/2012 11:04 PM
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Re: I never had an orgasm with my husband...?
You need to visualize.
Start with this....
dubya
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26579062
United States
11/09/2012 11:05 PM
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Re: I never had an orgasm with my husband...?
you cumm alone 8 times a day and you never came with your fucking HUSBAND??? 5 years?????

you gotta be a troll.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26579062


or a stone queer.
NuckingFutZ

User ID: 26968051
Australia
11/09/2012 11:11 PM

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Re: I never had an orgasm with my husband...?
Does he perform cunnilingus on you?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27365645


Yeah he does and also the ass licking.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27052127


putin
And yak for the ass licking. Seriously....
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25915113
United States
11/09/2012 11:12 PM
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Re: I never had an orgasm with my husband...?
As others have pointed out it's all in your mind. Tantra's good and it can teach you to prolong the experience nearly as long as you wish too. But ultimately your problem is with your conscious mind getting in the way of your subconscious mind. Communicate with yourself clearly, the more you do it the easier it will be to follow you own instructions. As your subconscious can do things much easier then you can, think sex dreams, it's your subconscious causing those dreams. You just have to communicate clearly then get out of the way and allow it too work.

An exercise:

Look deep within yourself and say:

My husband will pleasure me
or
My husband does pleasure me

Avoid thinking the way you are, because you are programming yourself to not experience pleasure. Avoid words like try, can or any word not clearly positive. Use words like do or will, will is one of my favorites as it tends to reinforce your own will power.
drhoecker
User ID: 27307992
United States
11/09/2012 11:14 PM
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Re: I never had an orgasm with my husband...?
honestly you need a vibrator in the bedroom,or one for him for you.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1308215
United States
11/09/2012 11:17 PM
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Re: I never had an orgasm with my husband...?
bsflag
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 27052127
11/09/2012 11:23 PM
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Re: I never had an orgasm with my husband...?
honestly you need a vibrator in the bedroom,or one for him for you.
 Quoting: drhoecker 27307992


please suggest me a good vibrator.

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