first of all, you sound very nice, and you do sound confident, in a real way, and that is veryattractive in a man.
(all intelligent people question themselves, abd that is not insecurity it's called not being a gigantic arse)
i think, the kind of woman that will go for a fake BS confidence, or a man that treats her bad, isn't the kind of woman you would want, so there can be nothing wrong with your attitude, on the contrary, it's a healthy attitude.
the only thing i can think, off the top of my head, is either you are looking in the wrong places, or you do not want a relationship yet, on a subconscience level.
i know, it's sounds silly, coz you just said you wanted one, but sometimes parts of us trick the other parts of us in order to, well i dunno, either trap us or help us.

(i know i'm not making much sense, but it's the best i can do, on such short notice=)

look, you really seem like a good, quality man, and i dunno, why women around you cannot appreciate that and be all over you, it makes me think they can't be very smart??

my husband, when you look at him, he looks like this sexy, young man, that could be anywhere from 20 to 30 years of age, there is no way to tell, and maybe had spend his life in a small very happy eutopian kingdom as the price charming of the place, who spend his life learning how to carry himself like a prince and a gentlemen, getting the best educationa and fighting with his dad about the arranged marriage bit. when he talks, you realize this guy can't be 20, he knows EVERYTHING, and you think it's probably just the that all princes charming that lived in a fairy tale kingdom look this untoched and uncorupted by the world...(i kept thinking i have to protect him from these evil people that were after me, and pretend i do not want to be with him, coz he couldn't possibly know how much evil exists in this world, he looks sou pure at heart...but, /bare with me there is a point/, when push comes to shove, when i really needed him,(he ended up protecting me, dispite my enemies, his so called friends and my own faked reluctance to accept his help), this lovely, chocolate cake looking guy transforms into crazy in the best way, amazingly dangerous man who will kill, mame and walk through walls for him and his family (me basically), whenever the curcumstancres demand it.

why did i tell you about my husband, well a) i love bragging abot how lucky i am

but

b)there are women in this world that will automatically appreciate a real man, who knows when the time is to cry and when it is time to be an assassin.
or who isn't ashemd to come out and say, there is nothing wrong with me, but i do need an opinion and perspective on why exactly i do not have a gf for many years now....

you live in a crazy world, i know it sounds corny, but it's true, but there is a woman out there who, when you meet her will be capable of appreciating what a mighty good man she has, you hang in there and any day now someone will come and make it all "worth it" for you!

not all women are shallow, or have daddy issues....some of us actually like our dad, and manged to forgive him for not being perfect, and we like men, and especially real, in both senses (strong, and real as oppose to pretending to be perfect), men.
i hope you meet you woman soon and she spends her life making it up to you, for all the lonlyness and waiting....