Godlike Productions - Conspiracy Forum
Users Online Now: 3,127 (Who's On?)Visitors Today: 2,043,054
Pageviews Today: 2,764,215Threads Today: 617Posts Today: 12,106
05:01 PM


Rate this Thread

Absolute BS Crap Reasonable Nice Amazing
 

If you REALLY want to understand democracy, socialism, communism, fascism, etc. . . .

 
itsamadmadworld
Offer Upgrade

User ID: 7021180
United States
11/10/2012 05:04 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
If you REALLY want to understand democracy, socialism, communism, fascism, etc. . . .
Pure Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes one of your cows and gives it to your neighbor. You're both forced to join a cooperative where you have to teach your neighbor how to take care of his cow.

Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

Pure Communism: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

Communism: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for you share of the milk, but it's so long that the milk is sour by the time you get it.

Dictatorship: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

Pure Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

Representative Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

American Democracy: The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate." The cows are set free.

Democracy, Democrat-style: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being so successful. You vote politicians into office who tax your cows, which forces you to sell one to pay the tax. The politicians use the tax money to buy a cow for your neighbor. You feel good. Barbra Streisand sings for you.

Democracy, Republican-style: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You move to a better neighborhood.

Bureaucracy: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

Bureaucracy, American-Style: You have two cows but you have to kill one of them because the government will only give you a license for one of them. The license requires you to sell all your milk to the government, which uses it to make cheese. The government pays lots of money to store the cheese in refrigerated warehouses. When the cheese spoils, the government distributes it to the poor. The poor get sick from the cheese, go to the emergency room, and are turned away because they have no health insurance. The President declares the program a success and reminds us that we have the finest health care system in the world.

Anarchy: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to kill you and take the cows.

Capitalism: You have two cows. You lay one off, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when she drops dead.

Foreign Policy, American-Style: You have two cows. The government taxes them and uses the money to buy a cow for a poor farmer a country ruled by a dictator. The farmer has no hay to feed the cow and his religion forbids him from eating it. The cow dies. The man dies. The dictator confiscates the dead man's farm and sells it, using the money to purchase US military equipment. The President declares the program a success and announces closer ties with our new ally.

American Corporation: You have two cows. You sell one to a subsidiary company and lease it back to yourself so you can declare it as a tax loss. Your bosses give you a huge bonus. You inject the cows with drugs and they produce four times the normal amount of milk. Your bosses give you a huge bonus. When the drugs cause one of the cows to drop dead you announce to the press that you have down-sized, reducing expenses by 50 percent. The company stock goes up and your bosses give you a huge bonus. You lay off all your workers and move your production facilities to Mexico. You get a huge bonus. You contribute some of your profit to the President's re-election campaign. The President announces tax cuts for corporations in order to stimulate the economy.

Political Correctness: You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is an outdated symbol of your decadent, warmongering, intolerant past) two differently-aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender. They get married and adopt a calf.
I Ban Thee

User ID: 21926529
United States
11/10/2012 05:20 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: If you REALLY want to understand democracy, socialism, communism, fascism, etc. . . .
B
R
I
L
L
I
A
N
T
I Ban Thee

User ID: 21926529
United States
11/10/2012 05:20 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: If you REALLY want to understand democracy, socialism, communism, fascism, etc. . . .
TEN STARS!!

CAN'T DO THAT?

MAX STARS TO OP!
ExTraDimensionaL777

User ID: 27300308
Belgium
11/10/2012 06:07 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: If you REALLY want to understand democracy, socialism, communism, fascism, etc. . . .
Heheheh this was good.. Ive heard some of the examples with the cows.. but really cant recall where..

Thansk OP, really nice reminder there !!

bump4

peace yooo hf
These dayz through THA REAL RAP (element of hip-hop)--------------------------------------EACH ONE TEACH ONE----------------------------------------P.OSiTiVE
-> (THERE iS NO REAL RAP ON TV or RADiOs) <- ----------------------------------------------------NO JUSTICE----------------------------------------------E​.NERGY
is the only way youths listen to--------------------------------------------------------​------------------------JUST US---------------------------------------A.CTiVATES
t​he Prophets !!! ------------------------------------"..artificial physical material posessions posses you-------------------------------------------------------​-C.ONSTANT
----------------------------------------------------------​-------------------you are your own self rescue-----------------------------------------------------​-------E.LEVATiON
PROOF -> 'CAN YOU CATCH iT???' --------------------------------------GOD BLESS YOU " [link to www.youtube.com] ----------------------------

remembah: FEAR iS THA MiND-KiLLAH [link to www.youtube.com]

separation is the ego's greatest politRick-------------------------------------------------​----------------------------------------
[link to www.youtube.com]

CONTROL YOUR OWN THOUGHT PATTERNS ! Do NOT allow to be controlled ! --------------------
-------------------------------------​-------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------- SELF-DESTRUCTION IS THA POWA
LiGHT = iNFORMATiON ;D ----------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------​--- WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT THE FUNCTION IS !!!!
------------------------------------------------------​-------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------- [link to www.youtube.com]
peace2daUNIVERSE------------------- There's NO MYSTERiES, ONLY KNOWLEDGE & iGNORANCE ----------------- SAD TO SEE MEDICINE DIVORCE MORALITY... ;/
itsamadmadworld (OP)

User ID: 7021180
United States
11/10/2012 06:25 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: If you REALLY want to understand democracy, socialism, communism, fascism, etc. . . .
B
R
I
L
L
I
A
N
T

 Quoting: I Ban Thee


I
T
'
S

C
L
E
V
E
R

I
S
N
'
T

I
T
?
itsamadmadworld (OP)

User ID: 7021180
United States
11/10/2012 06:26 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: If you REALLY want to understand democracy, socialism, communism, fascism, etc. . . .
Heheheh this was good.. Ive heard some of the examples with the cows.. but really cant recall where..

Thansk OP, really nice reminder there !!

bump4

peace yooo hf
 Quoting: ExTraDimensionaL777


Thanks, yes, when I saw the threads about communism and socialism here, I was reminded of this and found it - it's a perfect way to explain these because most people have never understood the differences.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27466211
United States
11/10/2012 03:41 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: If you REALLY want to understand democracy, socialism, communism, fascism, etc. . . .
bump
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27466211
United States
11/10/2012 11:59 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: If you REALLY want to understand democracy, socialism, communism, fascism, etc. . . .
bump
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27466211
United States
11/11/2012 12:00 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: If you REALLY want to understand democracy, socialism, communism, fascism, etc. . . .
bump
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 19279205
United States
11/11/2012 12:05 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: If you REALLY want to understand democracy, socialism, communism, fascism, etc. . . .
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27399706
United States
11/11/2012 12:19 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: If you REALLY want to understand democracy, socialism, communism, fascism, etc. . . .
USA has Fascism - the cows are owned by the farmer but the milk is seized for pennies on the dollar e.g. collectivization. All other sectors are the same way.
Lilac.Nights

User ID: 7945782
United States
11/11/2012 12:25 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: If you REALLY want to understand democracy, socialism, communism, fascism, etc. . . .
funny
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27399706
United States
11/11/2012 01:05 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: If you REALLY want to understand democracy, socialism, communism, fascism, etc. . . .
Capitalism: You have two cows. You lay one off, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when she drops dead.

 Quoting: itsamadmadworld


That would be socialism, where there is too much Gov regulation shutting down the free mkt. Capitalism is the fair-free mkt with as few Gov regulations as possible. All cows would produce and the farmer would sell the milk to other free mkt private business without any interference keeping all profits. Taxes to pay for things like roads are placed in imports. In this way imports are restricted due to world socialism and slave wages.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 14349741
United States
11/11/2012 01:27 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: If you REALLY want to understand democracy, socialism, communism, fascism, etc. . . .
Capitalism:

You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE:

You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

[link to www.famguardian.org]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 14349741
United States
11/11/2012 07:12 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: If you REALLY want to understand democracy, socialism, communism, fascism, etc. . . .
bump
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 20193680
United States
11/11/2012 08:03 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: If you REALLY want to understand democracy, socialism, communism, fascism, etc. . . .
Capitalism:

You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE:

You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

[link to www.famguardian.org]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 14349741



American capitalism is a beautiful thing and creatively building a herd from your own ingenuity is what the system is about.
But, ideologically, when the other version takes place
and retirement funds are raided and workers are left used up,
bitter and broke, (blue states) you say they don't believe in freedom !
When they want regulations to protect themselves from being
exploited, you say they don't believe in freedom.
Yes, we believe in freedom but in a civilized society
there has to be some kind of justice for victims.
and it is NOT communism or socialism to have a safety net in a free society.
When people abuse that safety net THAT needs to be addressed
not the removal of the safety net.
Clearly, the Gov't is not the best administrator in the safety net area but either is "let them eat cake" oh I meant to say "toughen up"
itsamadmadworld (OP)

User ID: 27538402
United States
11/11/2012 09:41 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: If you REALLY want to understand democracy, socialism, communism, fascism, etc. . . .
Capitalism:

You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE:

You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

[link to www.famguardian.org]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 14349741


No, that's capitalism as it should be . . . the definition in op is precisely how it is in America today.
-
User ID: 27399706
United States
11/11/2012 09:52 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: If you REALLY want to understand democracy, socialism, communism, fascism, etc. . . .
USA has Fascism - the cows are owned by the farmer but the milk is seized for pennies on the dollar e.g. collectivization. All other sectors are the same way.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27399706


What makes US collectivization Fascism and not Communism is the collections are state mandated & regulated to be collected by private companies i.e. milk producers or grain and meat processors Fascist Con Agra. Were it collected by the state it would be state Communist Collectivization.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24433009
United States
11/11/2012 09:55 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: If you REALLY want to understand democracy, socialism, communism, fascism, etc. . . .
Love it. Suggest Pin. 5 Stars.

Now which system is best?

And how does fractional reserve banking factor into the equation? When the bankers seize control of a nation by controlling it's money supply?

An Oligarchy?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26048166
United States
11/11/2012 10:05 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: If you REALLY want to understand democracy, socialism, communism, fascism, etc. . . .
B
R
I
L
L
I
A
N
T

 Quoting: I Ban Thee


It really is lol!

Good job OP

clappa
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 14349741
United States
11/11/2012 10:09 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: If you REALLY want to understand democracy, socialism, communism, fascism, etc. . . .
Capitalism:

You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE:

You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

[link to www.famguardian.org]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 14349741


No, that's capitalism as it should be . . . the definition in op is precisely how it is in America today.
 Quoting: itsamadmadworld


In op? I'm going by what the author wrote. There's more funny ones at link but didn't want to go over 50%.

[link to www.famguardian.org]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22074557
United States
11/11/2012 10:10 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: If you REALLY want to understand democracy, socialism, communism, fascism, etc. . . .
Honestly, put so well. Also, it's clear which is really the best system out of these options. It's also what happens to most systems in time.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 14349741
United States
11/11/2012 10:16 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: If you REALLY want to understand democracy, socialism, communism, fascism, etc. . . .
German Corporation: You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year and are very expensive to repair.

Russian Corporation: You have two cows. You have some vodka. You count your cows and discover you really have five cows! You have more vodka. You count them again and discover you have 42 cows! You stop counting cows and have some more vodka. The Russian Mafia arrives and takes over all your cows. You have more vodka.

Italian Corporation: You have two cows but you can't find them. While searching for them you meet a beautiful woman, take her out to lunch and then make love to her. Life is good.

French Corporation: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want another cow, more vacation and shorter work weeks. The French government announces that it will never agree to your demands. You go to lunch and eat fabulous food and drink wonderful wine. While you are at lunch, the airline pilots and flight controllers join your strike, shutting down all air traffic. The truckers block all the roads and the dock workers block all the ports. By dinner time the French government announces it agrees with all your demands. Life is good.

[link to www.extremelysmart.com]
Hana
User ID: 50443016
Egypt
11/23/2013 08:16 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: If you REALLY want to understand democracy, socialism, communism, fascism, etc. . . .
This is incredible!
romero318

User ID: 36246709
United States
11/23/2013 09:23 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: If you REALLY want to understand democracy, socialism, communism, fascism, etc. . . .
But show me the republic..... thats what I want to see
Mow them zombies down!!!!
An Average American Patriot

User ID: 37822755
United States
11/23/2013 09:41 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: If you REALLY want to understand democracy, socialism, communism, fascism, etc. . . .
Exceptional grip on reality.

The writer obviously does NOT work for the government.
Eternal vigilance Is the price of liberty. Speak out and be heard. Be seen and get noticed. Stand up and be counted. Cherish freedom.

News