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Married. Wife NEVER shows me affection. HOW COME?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 9819986
United Kingdom
11/10/2012 01:57 PM
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Re: Married. Wife NEVER shows me affection. HOW COME?
your probably a perv and annoy the fuck out of her - literally - just like my pops - lol
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26875838


this answer rings true to me.ive been with my hubby 20 years and he has a habit of each and everytime we have sex of telling me how much he wants me to fuck other men.it just makes my skin crawl,ive told him i dont like it but he doesnt give a shit,he always does it.its put me off him,i try to live by gods rules and he (hubby) just wants me to be some lil ho.........put it this way,i hate sleeping with him so i dont show him any affection,so i dont lead him on to want sex.....i guess thats how a womens mind works.hope this helps.
green_girl

User ID: 23919169
Canada
11/10/2012 01:58 PM
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Re: Married. Wife NEVER shows me affection. HOW COME?
it's an act.

women are innatley affectionate creatures. they love to sit in man's lap, clim up and down all over him, kiss, hold hands, flirt with their husband...etc...laugh, giggle you know, girly stuff.

either you are mean to her, which i assume you are not otherwise you woudn't care to ask, or she is putting on an act, and why only she can answer that.

ask her. make her tell you.
 Quoting: eve incognito 27444597


ugh!! I am a woman, an affectionate one, and II dont act this way. Women do not want to be like that. Basically, woman just want a companion, best friend, someone to grow old with. Affection takes on many forms. Some women arent as touchy and physical as others. For example, I have fibro and even gentle carresses hurt me. So needless to say i am not the cuddler i once was, but i show affection in other ways. In my voice, through my eyes, in the nice food i cook. etc. Maybe op is right and his marriage is in trouble. Or maybe his wife is just giving him affection in other ways that he has not learned to notice or appreciate yet.
:malefav:
I love this place!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27352798
United States
11/10/2012 01:59 PM
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Re: Married. Wife NEVER shows me affection. HOW COME?
Maybe whenever she comes for a tiny hug of affection, you turn it into sex and she has just learned to stay away from you. Women don't usually walk around horny 24/7, it takes some preamble to light their fire. A guy's demand for sex as a response to an innocent hug or sweet smile can be annoying if a woman is busy or the kids are needing her attention.

Sometimes hygiene is an issue, too, just saying maybe you need better grooming, foot hygiene, brush your teeth once in a while. I'm not trying to be insulting as I don't even know you, but it is something that is a BIG turnoff to most women. And you did ask for ideas.

She might also be suffering from depression and not even really know it.
train

User ID: 3582303
United States
11/10/2012 02:01 PM

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Re: Married. Wife NEVER shows me affection. HOW COME?
She is probably banging someone else but puts up with you because she still enjoys spending your money.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24698019


iamwith
"Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him had better take a closer look at the American Indian."

~Henry Ford
green_girl

User ID: 23919169
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11/10/2012 02:01 PM
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Re: Married. Wife NEVER shows me affection. HOW COME?
your probably a perv and annoy the fuck out of her - literally - just like my pops - lol
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26875838


this answer rings true to me.ive been with my hubby 20 years and he has a habit of each and everytime we have sex of telling me how much he wants me to fuck other men.it just makes my skin crawl,ive told him i dont like it but he doesnt give a shit,he always does it.its put me off him,i try to live by gods rules and he (hubby) just wants me to be some lil ho.........put it this way,i hate sleeping with him so i dont show him any affection,so i dont lead him on to want sex.....i guess thats how a womens mind works.hope this helps.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 9819986

I had the same problem with my ex-husband. He liked drunk sex, where he would climb clumsily on top,drool everywhere,and then treat me like a prostitute. If i told him it hurt he would say "tough, take it", and then being drunk, he couldnt even finish so would just keep going. So i withdrew. He thought he was a love machine. I told him the reality, but he said i was wrong. So i pulled back, stopped hand holding, kissing, snuggling, especially when he opened a beer. He would say "Come sit on my lap and show me yer tits" I would say "GoodNight"
:malefav:
I love this place!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 9819986
United Kingdom
11/10/2012 02:03 PM
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Re: Married. Wife NEVER shows me affection. HOW COME?
your probably a perv and annoy the fuck out of her - literally - just like my pops - lol
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26875838


this answer rings true to me.ive been with my hubby 20 years and he has a habit of each and everytime we have sex of telling me how much he wants me to fuck other men.it just makes my skin crawl,ive told him i dont like it but he doesnt give a shit,he always does it.its put me off him,i try to live by gods rules and he (hubby) just wants me to be some lil ho.........put it this way,i hate sleeping with him so i dont show him any affection,so i dont lead him on to want sex.....i guess thats how a womens mind works.hope this helps.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 9819986


garlic breath mixed with hints of liquor is also a massive turnoff....always brush your teeth well before approaching her!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 20898323
United States
11/10/2012 02:05 PM
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Re: Married. Wife NEVER shows me affection. HOW COME?
your probably a perv and annoy the fuck out of her - literally - just like my pops - lol
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26875838


this answer rings true to me.ive been with my hubby 20 years and he has a habit of each and everytime we have sex of telling me how much he wants me to fuck other men.it just makes my skin crawl,ive told him i dont like it but he doesnt give a shit,he always does it.its put me off him,i try to live by gods rules and he (hubby) just wants me to be some lil ho.........put it this way,i hate sleeping with him so i dont show him any affection,so i dont lead him on to want sex.....i guess thats how a womens mind works.hope this helps.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 9819986

I had the same problem with my ex-husband. He liked drunk sex, where he would climb clumsily on top,drool everywhere,and then treat me like a prostitute. If i told him it hurt he would say "tough, take it", and then being drunk, he couldnt even finish so would just keep going. So i withdrew. He thought he was a love machine. I told him the reality, but he said i was wrong. So i pulled back, stopped hand holding, kissing, snuggling, especially when he opened a beer. He would say "Come sit on my lap and show me yer tits" I would say "GoodNight"
 Quoting: green_girl


Wow...all these stories about guys...apparently I'm a GEM!!!5a
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 9819986
United Kingdom
11/10/2012 02:08 PM
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Re: Married. Wife NEVER shows me affection. HOW COME?
your probably a perv and annoy the fuck out of her - literally - just like my pops - lol
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26875838


this answer rings true to me.ive been with my hubby 20 years and he has a habit of each and everytime we have sex of telling me how much he wants me to fuck other men.it just makes my skin crawl,ive told him i dont like it but he doesnt give a shit,he always does it.its put me off him,i try to live by gods rules and he (hubby) just wants me to be some lil ho.........put it this way,i hate sleeping with him so i dont show him any affection,so i dont lead him on to want sex.....i guess thats how a womens mind works.hope this helps.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 9819986

I had the same problem with my ex-husband. He liked drunk sex, where he would climb clumsily on top,drool everywhere,and then treat me like a prostitute. If i told him it hurt he would say "tough, take it", and then being drunk, he couldnt even finish so would just keep going. So i withdrew. He thought he was a love machine. I told him the reality, but he said i was wrong. So i pulled back, stopped hand holding, kissing, snuggling, especially when he opened a beer. He would say "Come sit on my lap and show me yer tits" I would say "GoodNight"
 Quoting: green_girl

glad to see hes your ex husband,i hope you found someone that treats you better......im just stuck in this situ,dreading every night,il be thinking whilst having sex with him,please lord let it be over...its like someones abusing you,but its their right...anyways op,i hope yours is not the same cause of the problem.
NEVA HOWE
User ID: 1351603
United States
11/10/2012 02:09 PM
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Re: Married. Wife NEVER shows me affection. HOW COME?
Have you ever considered its the answer that's least obvious?

Maybe she's suicidal?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 16329236





What does that mean?

Answer? It means she got abducted by the spanish side.

And you know that is just evil.

Well are you ever even around?

No?

Well then.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24747405
United States
11/10/2012 02:14 PM
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Re: Married. Wife NEVER shows me affection. HOW COME?
it's resentment....always does that to lady feelins...she needs an apology date night extravaganza and let the lovin begin!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2333643


You better figure it out. She loves you or she'd be gone.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 14349741



She probably found out about your pron addiction, OP.

I pretty much lost interest in all men when I realized how bad the pron addiction is for the majority of them. I had no idea how bad it was until recently from doing some research. Perhaps your wife has just resolved herself to the fact that she will never measure up to any of those women that most men lust over these days. At a certain age you just accept the fact that men are visual, we wives age and get saggy and most men are going to stray and you find your joy not from people and relationships, but from more cerebral things.
 Quoting: I know 5813027


Wow - I could have written this very thing... combine this answer and the other comment about resentment and you have your answer. Sad but true. I don't think a date night can fix it. She may still love you, but not the way she used to when you were just starting out. Not sure if things will be able to change. Sorry OP.
Eagle # 1
User ID: 27403623
United States
11/10/2012 02:19 PM
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Re: Married. Wife NEVER shows me affection. HOW COME?
Married TWO of them ! BOTH had parents who NEVER showed affection in FRONT of the children; screwed a LOT, and produced offspring.

OTHER problem could be, IF the father was abusive, controlling of the mother, which the child witnessed MANT TIMES, she would most likely choose the 'innocent' victim and RESENT adult/MALE/Fathers, which you probably are, by this time. AS she is now in the 'Mother' position, and YOU are the 'Father' role in the family, she subconsciously gets even for 'mother', FINALLY !

It will NEVER RETURN, even AFTER your divorced; last one will not even touch me, and the first did the same thing !

Eagle
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 9819986
United Kingdom
11/10/2012 02:20 PM
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Re: Married. Wife NEVER shows me affection. HOW COME?
also,looking after kids allday is a big drain...maybe she sees giving you affection as just another chore on the list...it happens trust me!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25327582
Canada
11/10/2012 02:20 PM
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Re: Married. Wife NEVER shows me affection. HOW COME?
to get affection you have to give affection
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17851333
United States
11/10/2012 02:25 PM
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Re: Married. Wife NEVER shows me affection. HOW COME?
Anybody know why a woman would be like this?
 Quoting: Married 22041307


My husband is this way. I know your question is about a woman, but it goes both ways. I think sometimes this is caused by their not receiving affection by their parents when growing up. He comes from a large family and there just wasn't enough time for that many kids.

I am very affectionate and always have to be the one to initiate hugs, hand holding, etc. My mother was always hugging and kissing us and I learned affection from her, I guess. My dad not so much.

It is hurtful. We've been married for 17 years and I still like to hold hands with him, I love him very much and do everything I can to make him happy, so I don't think he is resentful. It's just part of his upbringing. It is also hard for him to accept affection.

Maybe they believe that no one could truly love them unconditionally.

Or maybe they are just assholes? LOL
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26255222
United States
11/10/2012 02:28 PM
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Re: Married. Wife NEVER shows me affection. HOW COME?
it's resentment....always does that to lady feelins...she needs an apology date night extravaganza and let the lovin begin!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2333643


You better figure it out. She loves you or she'd be gone.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 14349741



She probably found out about your pron addiction, OP.

I pretty much lost interest in all men when I realized how bad the pron addiction is for the majority of them. I had no idea how bad it was until recently from doing some research. Perhaps your wife has just resolved herself to the fact that she will never measure up to any of those women that most men lust over these days. At a certain age you just accept the fact that men are visual, we wives age and get saggy and most men are going to stray and you find your joy not from people and relationships, but from more cerebral things.
 Quoting: I know 5813027


Wow - I could have written this very thing... combine this answer and the other comment about resentment and you have your answer. Sad but true. I don't think a date night can fix it. She may still love you, but not the way she used to when you were just starting out. Not sure if things will be able to change. Sorry OP.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24747405


Yeah, this. The longer the resentment has been left the build, the more this relationship is doomed.

Are you over critical of her, OP? Cut her down with little remarks here and there? Those things build a thick wall of resentment overtime. She may even start to hate you. Get marriage counciling ASAP.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27403623
United States
11/10/2012 02:38 PM
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Re: Married. Wife NEVER shows me affection. HOW COME?
ALSO, women go from being sought after, pawed over, even raped for sex by the then panting male, to his losing this passionate desire for sex, and THEY CAN'T figure it out. After 70, one thinks about it MORE than doing 'it' !

Took my last wife of 27 years, THREE years to figure out, after she laughed at my failing to get an erection at 78, that I would NOT be laughed at EV ER again !

i.e. It was NEVER an option !

There are limits, and she reached hers !
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27403623
United States
11/10/2012 02:39 PM
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Re: Married. Wife NEVER shows me affection. HOW COME?
bump
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27455991
United Kingdom
11/10/2012 02:42 PM
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Re: Married. Wife NEVER shows me affection. HOW COME?
Anybody know why a woman would be like this?
 Quoting: Married 22041307


you got a job, your also known as the " god guys are always the last "

kick that bitch out shes jobless, you can find another woman that worships you from Asia ! Philippine girls are nice wifes
Russian wifes are nice wifes
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7570540
United States
11/10/2012 02:45 PM
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Re: Married. Wife NEVER shows me affection. HOW COME?
it's resentment....always does that to lady feelins...she needs an apology date night extravaganza and let the lovin begin!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2333643


Yup - guys have a way of being selfish dickheads and say and do things which piss the wife off and then things just cool down. Often, they don't even know they are doing those things. Are we talking affection as sex or are we talking affection as liking to be around you?
I know...
User ID: 5813027
United States
11/10/2012 02:46 PM
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Re: Married. Wife NEVER shows me affection. HOW COME?
it's resentment....always does that to lady feelins...she needs an apology date night extravaganza and let the lovin begin!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2333643


You better figure it out. She loves you or she'd be gone.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 14349741



She probably found out about your pron addiction, OP.

I pretty much lost interest in all men when I realized how bad the pron addiction is for the majority of them. I had no idea how bad it was until recently from doing some research. Perhaps your wife has just resolved herself to the fact that she will never measure up to any of those women that most men lust over these days. At a certain age you just accept the fact that men are visual, we wives age and get saggy and most men are going to stray and you find your joy not from people and relationships, but from more cerebral things.
 Quoting: I know 5813027


Wow - I could have written this very thing... combine this answer and the other comment about resentment and you have your answer. Sad but true. I don't think a date night can fix it. She may still love you, but not the way she used to when you were just starting out. Not sure if things will be able to change. Sorry OP.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24747405


and I am no prude. I used to love sex as much as anyone else, but when you find out that someone you love is watching porn all the time, it just does something inside you that I can't explain and the loss of respect is what hurts the most. Hiding and lying about a secret life. What is the point of getting so close to someone if they are going to lie and deceive? I just don't need sex that bad anyway. And it seems men prefer wanking it to pron anyway. So be it.

Then I realized how naive I had been, that pretty much all men are addicted to it and its here to stay. You can't escape it, you go to the mall and the ads are practically soft porn. I am pretty fit and some would say cute for my age, but I've lost all interest in sex over what has happened to men. They are now controlled by it and perhaps I am as well because my sexual desires have diminished. I don't hate men, I just realize as a woman, I am a mere object. And lets face it, you can't get emotionally hurt by a man if you don't give all of yourself to him, especially affection and sex.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27403623
United States
11/10/2012 02:47 PM
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Re: Married. Wife NEVER shows me affection. HOW COME?
ANOTHER OP that starts a thread and ABANDONS IT !

OR, this is GLP shilling it's own thread ?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1072087
United States
11/10/2012 02:47 PM
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Re: Married. Wife NEVER shows me affection. HOW COME?
Anybody know why a woman would be like this?
 Quoting: Married 22041307


She shows her boyfriend affection, ask him
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 6739256
United States
11/10/2012 02:49 PM
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Re: Married. Wife NEVER shows me affection. HOW COME?
Was she affectionate before you married her?
 Quoting: Debauchery


i'd like to be affectionate with you

hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1622245
United States
11/10/2012 03:36 PM
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Re: Married. Wife NEVER shows me affection. HOW COME?
bump
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27403623
I know...
User ID: 5813027
United States
11/10/2012 03:56 PM
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Re: Married. Wife NEVER shows me affection. HOW COME?
Anybody know why a woman would be like this?
 Quoting: Married 22041307


My husband is this way. I know your question is about a woman, but it goes both ways. I think sometimes this is caused by their not receiving affection by their parents when growing up. He comes from a large family and there just wasn't enough time for that many kids.

I am very affectionate and always have to be the one to initiate hugs, hand holding, etc. My mother was always hugging and kissing us and I learned affection from her, I guess. My dad not so much.

It is hurtful. We've been married for 17 years and I still like to hold hands with him, I love him very much and do everything I can to make him happy, so I don't think he is resentful. It's just part of his upbringing. It is also hard for him to accept affection.

Maybe they believe that no one could truly love them unconditionally.

Or maybe they are just assholes? LOL
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17851333




Good post, and I don't think there is a cookie cutter way of defining affection. some people shower their object of affection with monetary gifts, some write poems or sing songs, others are very touchy-feely. people come in all different packages and have different ways of showing affection. the question is did the affection just stop abruptly or is the OP being programmed to expect something that was not originally in the beginning equation of their relationship.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22059406
Canada
11/10/2012 04:08 PM
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Re: Married. Wife NEVER shows me affection. HOW COME?
Ok, so you married a woman that has NEVER showed you affection. So all those times you were dating, or spending time together, or out on your honeymoon... no affection.

Alot of men like women like that because its a challenge at first. She's yours but slightly out of reach but eventually it can get cumbersome.

She is showing you affection though by the things she does for you. If she's not taking care of you in small ways.. making meals for you, arranging plans for both of you, bringing you the paper, asking you about things that is happening with you... then she's probably a selfish person. Otherwise.. she probably loves you and you're not seeing the affections that she does do.

Sometimes we take things and people for granted and want more than we have.
Horus
User ID: 7669788
Iceland
11/10/2012 04:20 PM
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Re: Married. Wife NEVER shows me affection. HOW COME?
check her prescription medicine
if it's opiates or anti-depressants:
sue the pharmaceutical company
for stealing your wifes heart.

hugs
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 6888765
United States
11/10/2012 04:21 PM
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Re: Married. Wife NEVER shows me affection. HOW COME?
She married you for your money
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1211208
United States
11/10/2012 04:31 PM
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Re: Married. Wife NEVER shows me affection. HOW COME?
She must have complete acess to your wallet. Why does she need affection when she has money.

They are all whores and they only want money. If she can't get at the money she will leave. Women don't like being poor. She can be poor with anyone....
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23438912
United States
11/10/2012 04:34 PM
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Re: Married. Wife NEVER shows me affection. HOW COME?
She is getting taken to pound town by a balck man with a real big dick, much bigger than yours. This should answer your question.

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