My husband is this way. I know your question is about a woman, but it goes both ways. I think sometimes this is caused by their not receiving affection by their parents when growing up. He comes from a large family and there just wasn't enough time for that many kids.

I am very affectionate and always have to be the one to initiate hugs, hand holding, etc. My mother was always hugging and kissing us and I learned affection from her, I guess. My dad not so much.

It is hurtful. We've been married for 17 years and I still like to hold hands with him, I love him very much and do everything I can to make him happy, so I don't think he is resentful. It's just part of his upbringing. It is also hard for him to accept affection.

Maybe they believe that no one could truly love them unconditionally.

Or maybe they are just assholes? LOL