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People don't seem to understand what a 'party' is...

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21926154
United States
11/10/2012 10:56 PM
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People don't seem to understand what a 'party' is...
A political party is a business. A profit-seeking corporation. Structured along the lines of a talent agency.

It is not tied to any ideology.

A political party makes money through 'fund-raising'. It then pays its employees. All of the campaign managers and consultants and talking-heads, etc.

For a political party to function, it must sign 'talent'. Like a football team goes after players, political parties go after politicians.

So what is a politician?

A politician is an actor/entertainer, at the core.

Like a comedian, or rapper, or other entertainer, they choose a group of people to 'represent' and give speeches in support of those views. The most popular politicians receive funding from special interest groups. The deal is that they receive money and power, in return for doing what the special interest groups want, once they are elected.

So how would you start a 'political party'?

1. Have no actual vested interest in any political ideology.

2. Look at the demographics in your area. Are you going to go for a small group of rich people? Or a large group of poor people? Racial? Gender? Industry?

3. Pick your market.

4. Come up with a name, slogan, and political ideology along those lines.

5. Look at the market and find an actor/politician who fits your market demographic. Latino? A woman? Good looking? Maybe a little overweight.

6. Have your stable of 'politicians' begin fundraising.

7. See which politician is the most popular.

8. Work with him, as his agent, to sell him to the highest bidding special interest group.

9. Sign the secret contracts, saying that the politician will do whatever heinous thing the corporation wants if elected.

10. Watch the campaign 'donations' roll in from your special interest groups and dumb voters.

11. As the demographics or ideology of your demographics shift, adjust your party ideology accordingly.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 21926154
United States
11/10/2012 11:09 PM
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Re: People don't seem to understand what a 'party' is...
*bump
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 21926154
United States
11/10/2012 11:24 PM
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Re: People don't seem to understand what a 'party' is...
what, too real for you guys?

Ok then. Yeah. The republican party really cares about small businesses. And stopping abortion. And being tough on illegal immigration...

Oh wait? What's that? They switched their views on illegal immigration the day after they lost the vote because of the massive latino vote?

Ahem... well yes... the republican party really really cares about whatever it is they say they care about.
Waterbug

User ID: 1295673
United States
11/10/2012 11:33 PM

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Re: People don't seem to understand what a 'party' is...
A bottle of Crown Royal, a case of ready-whip and couple of hooters girls ...

Now, that's a party! chuckle

bright

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