Godlike Productions - Conspiracy Forum
Users Online Now: 2,401 (Who's On?)Visitors Today: 1,104,870
Pageviews Today: 1,671,831Threads Today: 501Posts Today: 10,424
02:15 PM


Rate this Thread

Absolute BS Crap Reasonable Nice Amazing
 

A Strange thing happened in Church today

 
SHRModerator
Forum Administrator

11/11/2012 01:35 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Strange thing happened in Church today
So what's up with this new church lady deal.....
____________________________________________________
E-mail anytime SHRGLP@Yahoo.com
Inquiring about a ban?, include the IP address found here. [link to www.showmemyip.com]

Ooooh, see the fire is sweepin' Our very streets today...
Burns like a red coal carpet, Mad bulls lost the way...
War, children, it's just a shot away...it's just a shot away....
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26663220
United States
11/11/2012 01:36 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Strange thing happened in Church today
He was demonically influenced?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1112387


That is what makes me think he was referring to the congregation.
GOON
User ID: 27499056
United States
11/11/2012 01:38 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Strange thing happened in Church today
Next, was the Nicene Creed:

We believe in God, the Father, the Almighty,
maker of heaven and earth,
and all that is seen and unseen.

We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,
the only Son of God, eternally begotten of the Father,
God from God, Light from Light,
true God from true God,
begotten, not made, one in Being with the Father.
Through him all things were made.
For us men and for our salvation
he came down from heaven:
by the power of the Holy Spirit
he was born of the Virgin Mary,
and became man.
For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate;
he suffered, died, and was buried.
On the third day he rose again
in fulfilment of the Scriptures;
he ascended into heaven
and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again in glory
to judge the living and the dead,
and His kingdom will have no end.

We believe in the Holy Spirit,
the Lord, the giver of life,
who proceeds from the Father and the Son.
With the Father and the Son
he is worshipped and glorified.
He has spoken through the Prophets.

We believe in one holy catholic and apostolic Church.
We acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins.
We look for the resurrection of the dead,
and the life of the world to come.

Amen.

[link to www.catholic.org]
 Quoting: K.Kool



The Nicene Creed is a monkey story.

Follow it to your folly.

burnit
Dr.DoomLittle

User ID: 6231580
United States
11/11/2012 01:59 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Strange thing happened in Church today
perhaps he was an alien... "monkey"aka human...

we're the 666 carbon based units after all
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22944917
United States
11/11/2012 02:03 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Strange thing happened in Church today
Towards the end of the priest's homily, a voice behind me
said

"Why are you telling these monkey stories?"

I turned around, to see a man with dark yellow sunglasses, and in a suit, standing a few rows behind me.

Several other people turned around also.

The priest continued to speak.

After a few minutes, he said

"I repeat, why are you telling these monkey stories?"

I looked at him, several men stood up and moved towards him, upon which he left, closely followed by the men.

His suit was 3/4 length at the back, he gave an impression of a modern day devil, as if he was trying to frighten us.

There was no fear in the Church, we looked at him.

Several people said, "It is not monkey business"

The priest made a joke, and we continued.
 Quoting: K.Kool


It was me. I am the one you humans call, "Satan", "Lucifer", and "The Devil". Fear not my loved ones, for you will be with me forever and we will shine brightly through the coming apocalypse. Never forget that I love you.
K.Kool (OP)

User ID: 21938023
Australia
11/11/2012 02:06 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Strange thing happened in Church today
Even monkeys know when the light goes they must find shelter and safety. Those with eyes will see; those without will stumble in the darkness that decends. He was there to sow a seed of discord.
 Quoting: asymetriclogic



Yes, a seed of doubt, that's how it felt to me, for a moment I looked at what we were doing, from his point-of-view, and it kinda does seem so outlandish, outrageous even..

But faith is an amazing process, and I'm not giving up on it.

The second reading:


Christ did not enter into a sanctuary made by hands,
a copy of the true one, but heaven itself,
that he might now appear before God on our behalf.
Not that he might offer himself repeatedly,
as the high priest enters each year into the sanctuary
with blood that is not his own;
if that were so, he would have had to suffer repeatedly
from the foundation of the world.
But now once for all he has appeared at the end of the ages
to take away sin by his sacrifice.
Just as it is appointed that human beings die once,
and after this the judgment, so also Christ,
offered once to take away the sins of many,
will appear a second time, not to take away sin
but to bring salvation to those who eagerly await him.
heartstalker@blogger
K.Kool (OP)

User ID: 21938023
Australia
11/11/2012 02:08 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Strange thing happened in Church today
So what's up with this new church lady deal.....
 Quoting: SHR



You don't like it?

;)
heartstalker@blogger
K.Kool (OP)

User ID: 21938023
Australia
11/11/2012 02:09 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Strange thing happened in Church today
Interesting to say the least.
 Quoting: Light to Go



Yes, something out of the ordinary, I speculate about him being a GLP poster...
heartstalker@blogger
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7843669
United States
11/11/2012 02:10 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Strange thing happened in Church today
The man was quite literal. He is referring to the genetic mutations stored within our bases. Vigor is his name. There are quite a few of 'them' we have sent out to attempt to warn your kind. The release is happening soon when blood will poor from the manhole covers and zombies will roam the streets terrorizing the populace. His 'Monkey stories' comment was meant to warn you of this..


I beg of you to flee to high country. I tried to get of of here myself but I am being watched, filmed, tortured nightly. They wont let me out for nothing. They're murdering people down here..


FLEEE!!!
K.Kool (OP)

User ID: 21938023
Australia
11/11/2012 02:18 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Strange thing happened in Church today
Do you think his choice of date is significant?

11/11/12
heartstalker@blogger
K.Kool (OP)

User ID: 21938023
Australia
11/11/2012 02:24 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Strange thing happened in Church today
He was demonically influenced?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1112387



I don't know, gut instinct says no.
heartstalker@blogger
chauchat

User ID: 10858311
United States
11/11/2012 02:32 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Strange thing happened in Church today
Next, was the Nicene Creed:

We believe in God, the Father, the Almighty,
maker of heaven and earth,
and all that is seen and unseen.

We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,
the only Son of God, eternally begotten of the Father,
God from God, Light from Light,
true God from true God,
begotten, not made, one in Being with the Father.
Through him all things were made.
For us men and for our salvation
he came down from heaven:
by the power of the Holy Spirit
he was born of the Virgin Mary,
and became man.
For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate;
he suffered, died, and was buried.
On the third day he rose again
in fulfilment of the Scriptures;
he ascended into heaven
and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again in glory
to judge the living and the dead,
and His kingdom will have no end.

We believe in the Holy Spirit,
the Lord, the giver of life,
who proceeds from the Father and the Son.
With the Father and the Son
he is worshipped and glorified.
He has spoken through the Prophets.

We believe in one holy catholic and apostolic Church.
We acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins.
We look for the resurrection of the dead,
and the life of the world to come.

Amen.

[link to www.catholic.org]
 Quoting: K.Kool


Was he having trouble understanding the trinity doctrine? ["A Mystery"] The WORSHIP of the council of Nicaea and of the wehr-machter Constantine who made all the decisions there, though not even having bothered to impersonate a Christian to that point? The ape-postasy from Christianity?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 20541213
United States
11/11/2012 02:49 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Strange thing happened in Church today
Many are lashing out at that damn Church

If the priest actually made sense and preached from the Bible then ... that would be an improvement.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27399706


In the Mass, the homily is about the Gospel reading of
the day.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27500275
United States
11/11/2012 02:52 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Strange thing happened in Church today
Towards the end of the priest's homily, a voice behind me
said

"Why are you telling these monkey stories?"

I turned around, to see a man with dark yellow sunglasses, and in a suit, standing a few rows behind me.

Several other people turned around also.

The priest continued to speak.

After a few minutes, he said

"I repeat, why are you telling these monkey stories?"

I looked at him, several men stood up and moved towards him, upon which he left, closely followed by the men.

His suit was 3/4 length at the back, he gave an impression of a modern day devil, as if he was trying to frighten us.

There was no fear in the Church, we looked at him.

Several people said, "It is not monkey business"

The priest made a joke, and we continued.
 Quoting: K.Kool


IF I WAS YOU I'D GET THE HELL OUT OF THAT CHURCH AND NEVER GO BACK...
K.Kool (OP)

User ID: 21938023
Australia
11/11/2012 02:59 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Strange thing happened in Church today
Next, was the Nicene Creed:

We believe in God, the Father, the Almighty,
maker of heaven and earth,
and all that is seen and unseen.

We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,
the only Son of God, eternally begotten of the Father,
God from God, Light from Light,
true God from true God,
begotten, not made, one in Being with the Father.
Through him all things were made.
For us men and for our salvation
he came down from heaven:
by the power of the Holy Spirit
he was born of the Virgin Mary,
and became man.
For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate;
he suffered, died, and was buried.
On the third day he rose again
in fulfilment of the Scriptures;
he ascended into heaven
and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again in glory
to judge the living and the dead,
and His kingdom will have no end.

We believe in the Holy Spirit,
the Lord, the giver of life,
who proceeds from the Father and the Son.
With the Father and the Son
he is worshipped and glorified.
He has spoken through the Prophets.

We believe in one holy catholic and apostolic Church.
We acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins.
We look for the resurrection of the dead,
and the life of the world to come.

Amen.

[link to www.catholic.org]
 Quoting: K.Kool


Was he having trouble understanding the trinity doctrine? ["A Mystery"] The WORSHIP of the council of Nicaea and of the wehr-machter Constantine who made all the decisions there, though not even having bothered to impersonate a Christian to that point? The ape-postasy from Christianity?
 Quoting: chauchat




I don't think all of the above can be surmised from his comment, maybe it is you who has trouble with it..

Thanks for that anyway, I learnt a lot.
Constantine was the first Roman emperor to convert to Christianity, and the council he formed rejected Arianism

[link to en.wikipedia.org]
heartstalker@blogger
K.Kool (OP)

User ID: 21938023
Australia
11/11/2012 03:03 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Strange thing happened in Church today
Towards the end of the priest's homily, a voice behind me
said

"Why are you telling these monkey stories?"

I turned around, to see a man with dark yellow sunglasses, and in a suit, standing a few rows behind me.

Several other people turned around also.

The priest continued to speak.

After a few minutes, he said

"I repeat, why are you telling these monkey stories?"

I looked at him, several men stood up and moved towards him, upon which he left, closely followed by the men.

His suit was 3/4 length at the back, he gave an impression of a modern day devil, as if he was trying to frighten us.

There was no fear in the Church, we looked at him.

Several people said, "It is not monkey business"

The priest made a joke, and we continued.
 Quoting: K.Kool


IF I WAS YOU I'D GET THE HELL OUT OF THAT CHURCH AND NEVER GO BACK...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27500275




Do you foresee violence perhaps?

Nah, if he was going to do that, he would have already.
heartstalker@blogger
chauchat

User ID: 10858311
United States
11/11/2012 03:10 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Strange thing happened in Church today
Next, was the Nicene Creed:

We believe in God, the Father, the Almighty,
maker of heaven and earth,
and all that is seen and unseen.

We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,
the only Son of God, eternally begotten of the Father,
God from God, Light from Light,
true God from true God,
begotten, not made, one in Being with the Father.
Through him all things were made.
For us men and for our salvation
he came down from heaven:
by the power of the Holy Spirit
he was born of the Virgin Mary,
and became man.
For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate;
he suffered, died, and was buried.
On the third day he rose again
in fulfilment of the Scriptures;
he ascended into heaven
and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again in glory
to judge the living and the dead,
and His kingdom will have no end.

We believe in the Holy Spirit,
the Lord, the giver of life,
who proceeds from the Father and the Son.
With the Father and the Son
he is worshipped and glorified.
He has spoken through the Prophets.

We believe in one holy catholic and apostolic Church.
We acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins.
We look for the resurrection of the dead,
and the life of the world to come.

Amen.

[link to www.catholic.org]
 Quoting: K.Kool


Was he having trouble understanding the trinity doctrine? ["A Mystery"] The WORSHIP of the council of Nicaea and of the wehr-machter Constantine who made all the decisions there, though not even having bothered to impersonate a Christian to that point? The ape-postasy from Christianity?
 Quoting: chauchat




I don't think all of the above can be surmised from his comment, maybe it is you who has trouble with it..

Thanks for that anyway, I learnt a lot.
Constantine was the first Roman emperor to convert to Christianity, and the council he formed rejected Arianism

[link to en.wikipedia.org]
 Quoting: K.Kool

maybe it is you who has trouble with it..
Yes. I prefer the truth.
K.Kool (OP)

User ID: 21938023
Australia
11/11/2012 03:20 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Strange thing happened in Church today
Which is..?
heartstalker@blogger
K.Kool (OP)

User ID: 21938023
Australia
11/11/2012 03:20 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Strange thing happened in Church today
Didn't mean to ruffle your feathers, please explain.
heartstalker@blogger
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27500275
United States
11/11/2012 03:26 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Strange thing happened in Church today
Towards the end of the priest's homily, a voice behind me
said

"Why are you telling these monkey stories?"

I turned around, to see a man with dark yellow sunglasses, and in a suit, standing a few rows behind me.

Several other people turned around also.

The priest continued to speak.

After a few minutes, he said

"I repeat, why are you telling these monkey stories?"

I looked at him, several men stood up and moved towards him, upon which he left, closely followed by the men.

His suit was 3/4 length at the back, he gave an impression of a modern day devil, as if he was trying to frighten us.

There was no fear in the Church, we looked at him.

Several people said, "It is not monkey business"

The priest made a joke, and we continued.
 Quoting: K.Kool


IF I WAS YOU I'D GET THE HELL OUT OF THAT CHURCH AND NEVER GO BACK...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27500275




Do you foresee violence perhaps?

Nah, if he was going to do that, he would have already.
 Quoting: K.Kool



No, it has nothing to do with the man... It is the church... Get OUT AND NEVER GO BACK

YOU ARE BEING DECEIVED the man was sent from God...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1198955
Iceland
11/11/2012 03:27 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Strange thing happened in Church today
He was doing what I enjoy doing. Fucking with a bunch of superstitious dipshits. I salute him whoever he is.
A sense of humour is a fine and rare thing these days and this fine fellow certainly has one.
Satan as a symbolic entity is very powerful and the very idea of such 'evil' holds sway over the weak minded.
This guy was having fun and has probably done it elsewhere to great effect.
When he leaves he's probably doubled over with laughter knowing he just frightened the living bejesus out of a bunch of reprobates.
All hail the 'suity devil dude! :-)
Big Irish Bastard

User ID: 1342948
United States
11/11/2012 03:27 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Strange thing happened in Church today
He was demonically influenced?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1112387


Yes.
"I like Sub Commanders. They don't have time for bullshit, neither do I." (Franklin Roosevelt)
Vaellene

User ID: 27005108
United States
11/11/2012 03:30 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Strange thing happened in Church today
I find this to be very creepy indeed , DARK days in our midst stay close to the father Ignore these fools
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27483500
United States
11/11/2012 03:32 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Strange thing happened in Church today
Towards the end of the priest's homily, a voice behind me
said

"Why are you telling these monkey stories?"

I turned around, to see a man with dark yellow sunglasses, and in a suit, standing a few rows behind me.

Several other people turned around also.

The priest continued to speak.

After a few minutes, he said

"I repeat, why are you telling these monkey stories?"

I looked at him, several men stood up and moved towards him, upon which he left, closely followed by the men.

His suit was 3/4 length at the back, he gave an impression of a modern day devil, as if he was trying to frighten us.

There was no fear in the Church, we looked at him.

Several people said, "It is not monkey business"

The priest made a joke, and we continued.
 Quoting: K.Kool


does your preacher teach chapter by chapter, verse by verse in the order it was presented in Gods word, straight thru from beginning to end in the order of the Book?

whereby it is only Gods words that are spoken and taught?

or does he read a line here or there and then talk for two hours in his OWN words, some subject he's devised about which to speak prior to each gathering of the church members on Sunday or whenever they gather?

I was informed that the church has RULES they have to follow whereby the rule dictators tell them just what they can teach and what they can't, and when, etc.

forgot what they called it, some hierarchy that rules over all churches or some such thing

just curious, I don't partake of the worlds churches, have in past but they didn't actually study GODS WORDS in any cohesive order, chapter by chapter, verse by verse with discussion focused mainly on the correct translations into todays vernacular whereby the people understood what was being effectively transmitted by the words

none of the words they used back at that time meant the same things they do today, hence without such it's impossible to get the jist of what the speaker was attempting to share I find

which is why few lifelong church goers have no real clue as to the truth of the word, and fewer still have ever been taught the truth of Genesis or Revelations, as they were told they didn't need to understand the latter as they wouldn't be here at that time when Tribulation occurred, that they'd be "raptured" out of here.

pity, as that's an abomination to the Lord and an outright lie, satanic lie, at best

sadly they will come to find nobody gets out early, this test is specifically for each of those alive in this time frame with specific purpose thereto

the preachers will be the first ones judged and those judged most harshly, according to the Word.

with good reason I might add

few of them actually fed the parishoners which is what they stood up and proclaimed themselves to be doing
chauchat

User ID: 10858311
United States
11/11/2012 03:56 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Strange thing happened in Church today
Didn't mean to ruffle your feathers, please explain.
 Quoting: K.Kool


thank you . just -finally- getting very sleepy. nearly 4am here. back later.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27499372
Canada
11/11/2012 04:17 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Strange thing happened in Church today
Maybe that man was influenced by the bad spirits to do that in church.

Evil spirits can still enter churches unfortunately. Obviously not while the Angels are present or the lord or even the Holy Spirit.

Some pastors might even be infiltrators. teaching lies....this is a great offense to God and he does handle them accordingly.

--------- some trivia for you ----------

Hardly anyone knows this but God has agents on Earth too. I do not know what they do....I only know one group of Agents are tasked with healing the sick.

The other groups of Agents I have no idea what they do. Usually though these Agents have powerful abilities. They battle devils and cast out demons with ease.

These Agents are not to be confused with Exorcists. These human Agents hold more power.

There was one Agent who was tasked with Punishing the Devil. So this Agent went to hell and fought with the Devil and punished him.

The Agent later told his brothers that Satan was a giant when he confronted him. So the Agent used a Ladder which materialized in front of him, he then jumped onto his back and began slashing away with a great sword God gave him, Cutting off Satan's wings also.

After the mission was done and accomplished the Agent was brought to Heaven escorted by Angels. The angels washed Satan's blood off the Agent because if he returned to Earth with the blood on him, He would die.

These Agents are constantly under attack by Devils and demons.

I probably should mention that these Agents also have an Angel to help them. Like any christian has.

The really powerful Agents have an Angel with six wings three on each side. The younger less experienced Agents have an Angels with NO wings!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1198955
Iceland
11/11/2012 04:21 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Strange thing happened in Church today
Maybe that man was influenced by the bad spirits to do that in church.

Evil spirits can still enter churches unfortunately. Obviously not while the Angels are present or the lord or even the Holy Spirit.

Some pastors might even be infiltrators. teaching lies....this is a great offense to God and he does handle them accordingly.

--------- some trivia for you ----------

Hardly anyone knows this but God has agents on Earth too. I do not know what they do....I only know one group of Agents are tasked with healing the sick.

The other groups of Agents I have no idea what they do. Usually though these Agents have powerful abilities. They battle devils and cast out demons with ease.

These Agents are not to be confused with Exorcists. These human Agents hold more power.

There was one Agent who was tasked with Punishing the Devil. So this Agent went to hell and fought with the Devil and punished him.

The Agent later told his brothers that Satan was a giant when he confronted him. So the Agent used a Ladder which materialized in front of him, he then jumped onto his back and began slashing away with a great sword God gave him, Cutting off Satan's wings also.

After the mission was done and accomplished the Agent was brought to Heaven escorted by Angels. The angels washed Satan's blood off the Agent because if he returned to Earth with the blood on him, He would die.

These Agents are constantly under attack by Devils and demons.

I probably should mention that these Agents also have an Angel to help them. Like any christian has.

The really powerful Agents have an Angel with six wings three on each side. The younger less experienced Agents have an Angels with NO wings!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27499372


norespectpope2cruise
Judethz
Israel is Eternal

User ID: 20521597
United Kingdom
11/11/2012 04:39 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Strange thing happened in Church today
hbird WHY IS MARY CRYING?... [link to www.chick.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25149280
United States
11/11/2012 04:43 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Strange thing happened in Church today
Oh Lord, thou art, kindly stop forgiving sins
of the believers with immediate effect.
Since believers are not afraid to commit any crimes/sins
since they know you are continuously forgiving thei sins, be it rape, be it murder, be it adultery.
It is causing serious law and order problems for the world.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27495235


Go eat a cow..and arent you supposed to be answering my tech support call for my i-phone?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25149280
United States
11/11/2012 04:46 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Strange thing happened in Church today
:hbird: WHY IS MARY CRYING?... [link to www.chick.com]
 Quoting: Judethz


And you are part of this problem too. The devil has seized you and is using you for wicked works.., and you know better, which makes your place in hell really special.