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Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?

 
riffraffrocks
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11/11/2012 12:50 AM
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Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?
OK. So I'm 40 years old, and I came out when I was 16, which means I came out when being openly gay was socially marginalizing, if not downright dangerous to your physical person. This threat came almost exclusively from straight men, and it was the social norm. Since then, this new attitude towards homosexuals has arisen in many quarters, and I must say it has made life easier for me in many key respects. However, in spite of this, I can't say I entirely buy this overnight epiphany that straight men have allegedly had regarding gays, especially gay MEN.

Homosexuals have been treated like social lepers, if not as downright evil incarnate for the past 2000 years. Don't you think it's odd that straight men SUDDENLY got over it? I'm personally pretty skeptical, and don't think this is a change in behavior due to moral conviction, but rather to the fact that it's been made fashionable by the mass media to be cool to gays. Also, straight women have never cared the way straight men do, and since they have so much clout today I think straight men have just caved in to being cool, so their girlfriends don't get mad at them.

Am I the only gay guy that thinks this? It feels phony to me. I just don't believe them.

Last Edited by riffraffrocks on 11/11/2012 03:36 AM
Guenwyfar

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11/11/2012 12:57 AM

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Re: Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?
I think you have a point about the media thing. Almost every show you watch now has a character in it that is gay. On the other hand, I also think some people have figured out that its not worth being worked up over it when it has no impact on anyone but the person(s) in question.
Guenwyfar

"Karma is like a rubberband.. it can only stretch so far before it comes back and smacks you in the face."

"Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition."

"Religion is like a penis, it's fine to have one and be proud of it, but when you take it out and wave it in my face, that's when we have a problem."
Joshus

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11/11/2012 01:20 AM
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Re: Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?
I can't speak for your generation, but I'm 27 year old gay male. For the most part, straight guys my age are truly ok with gay guys - although, people on this site prove me wrong every day. : -)

I think it's a generational thing. Media has had a role in it, but mostly I think it comes from women. Women hold the cards now. Let me explain.

So many women have gay best friends. They would NEVER date/marry a man who is not "ok" with her best friend. Straight guys are now forced to come in contact with gay males - even go on double dates with them! In this forced contact, they realize that gay males are a lot like them. This changes the straight guys view.

I'm trying my best to make sense, but I've had 3 mexican eggnogs (it's the holidays! I'm allowed the extra calories!). Hope at least one person follows....
Anonymous Coward
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11/11/2012 01:28 AM
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Re: Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?
You are genetically flawed.
OKCconspiradude

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11/11/2012 01:53 AM
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Re: Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?
OK. So I'm 40 years old, and I came out when I was 16, which means I came out when being openly gay was socially marginalizing, if not downright dangerous to your physical person. This threat came almost exclusively from straight men, and it was the social norm. Since then, this new attitude towards homosexuals has arisen in many quarters, and I must say it has made life easier for me in many key respects. However, in spite of this, I can't say I entirely buy this overnight epiphany that straight men have allegedly had regarding gays, especially gay MEN.

Homosexuals have treated like social lepers, if not as downright evil incarnate for the past 2000 years. Don't you think it's odd that straight men SUDDENLY got over it? I'm personally pretty skeptical, and don't think this is a change in behavior due to moral conviction, but rather to the fact that it's been made fashionable by the mass media to be cool to gays. Also, straight women have never cared the way straight men do, and since they have so much clout today I think straight men have just caved in to being cool, so their girlfriends don't get mad at them.

Am I the only gay guy that thinks this? It feels phony to me. I just don't believe them.
 Quoting: riffraffrocks


You can't make everyone like you man. Some people will always be averse to homosexuality. As long as they aren't using violence against you I would just go on with life and not care about what other people are really thinking. Tolerance does not equal acceptance, nor should it.
riffraffrocks (OP)

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11/11/2012 01:53 AM
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Re: Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?
You are genetically flawed.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27497901


There. That's better. See what I mean? Well, praise Jesus! We found an honest one!
riffraffrocks (OP)

User ID: 2935487
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11/11/2012 01:57 AM
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Re: Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?
OK. So I'm 40 years old, and I came out when I was 16, which means I came out when being openly gay was socially marginalizing, if not downright dangerous to your physical person. This threat came almost exclusively from straight men, and it was the social norm. Since then, this new attitude towards homosexuals has arisen in many quarters, and I must say it has made life easier for me in many key respects. However, in spite of this, I can't say I entirely buy this overnight epiphany that straight men have allegedly had regarding gays, especially gay MEN.

Homosexuals have treated like social lepers, if not as downright evil incarnate for the past 2000 years. Don't you think it's odd that straight men SUDDENLY got over it? I'm personally pretty skeptical, and don't think this is a change in behavior due to moral conviction, but rather to the fact that it's been made fashionable by the mass media to be cool to gays. Also, straight women have never cared the way straight men do, and since they have so much clout today I think straight men have just caved in to being cool, so their girlfriends don't get mad at them.

Am I the only gay guy that thinks this? It feels phony to me. I just don't believe them.
 Quoting: riffraffrocks


You can't make everyone like you man. Some people will always be averse to homosexuality. As long as they aren't using violence against you I would just go on with life and not care about what other people are really thinking. Tolerance does not equal acceptance, nor should it.
 Quoting: OKCconspiradude


Tolerance doesn't equal acceptance. Fine! That's honest. It also means that gay men should stop acting like straight men are there buds, because that will never be the case. You can train a lion to tolerate a lamb in its cage, but it doesn't change the fact that it's a lion. Frankly, straight men have demonstrated themselves to be too cruel over the ages to be reformed. Gay men better remember that...
riffraffrocks (OP)

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11/11/2012 02:05 AM
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Re: Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?
I can't speak for your generation, but I'm 27 year old gay male. For the most part, straight guys my age are truly ok with gay guys - although, people on this site prove me wrong every day. : -)

I think it's a generational thing. Media has had a role in it, but mostly I think it comes from women. Women hold the cards now. Let me explain.

So many women have gay best friends. They would NEVER date/marry a man who is not "ok" with her best friend. Straight guys are now forced to come in contact with gay males - even go on double dates with them! In this forced contact, they realize that gay males are a lot like them. This changes the straight guys view.

I'm trying my best to make sense, but I've had 3 mexican eggnogs (it's the holidays! I'm allowed the extra calories!). Hope at least one person follows....
 Quoting: Joshus


I agree that the ascendance of women in American life has had a critical role to play, although I think it is secondary to the media's influence. After all, straight women have never had the same issues with homosexuality as straight men, and yet it's only been in the last 15 years or so that they've been able to have an influence. The explanation for this is that it's only been in the last 15-20 years that the media has presented us in a sympathetic light.

My advice to you is to not be too credulous about all of this kumbaya acceptance of gays. Jews were accepted into German culture in the late 19th century, and we all know how that turned out. Dramatic reversals of fortune are definitely possible. You would be wise to not trust them too much. They may be trustworthy after all, but it will take a few generations to be sure. It's too soon of a change to say right now.
Anonymous Coward
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11/11/2012 02:14 AM
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Re: Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?
What you and other people do is your own business. The trouble is that gays and lesbians throw their sexuality in everyone's face, and then wonder why people resent them.

You're gay. That's great. Now shut up about it.
riffraffrocks (OP)

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11/11/2012 02:21 AM
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Re: Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?
What you and other people do is your own business. The trouble is that gays and lesbians throw their sexuality in everyone's face, and then wonder why people resent them.

You're gay. That's great. Now shut up about it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21438600


That's not the topic at hand. We're discussing whether straight men are genuine in their acceptance of gays, or are just really putting on a show because society, i.e. the mass media, their girlfriends, wives, etc. told them to. I take it you're from the latter category?
Thor's Hamster

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11/11/2012 02:24 AM
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Re: Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?
You can't ask people not to THINK a certain way about others. But everyone is required not to ACT on how they feel.
Apollo astronauts couldn't have passed through Van Allen's Belt. Van Allen wore suspenders.
riffraffrocks (OP)

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11/11/2012 02:28 AM
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Re: Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?
You can't ask people not to THINK a certain way about others. But everyone is required not to ACT on how they feel.
 Quoting: Thor's Hamster


I'm not asking that. I'm asking whether this recent transition in the attitude of straight men towards gay men is authentic or a put on. You may despise blacks, but not act on that. Does that comfort the black man? My concern is gay men are simply taking straight men to literally, and not seeing that they are tolerating us, but not accepting homosexual expression as a legitimate form of love. I do think I'm onto something here.
Anonymous Coward
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11/11/2012 02:31 AM
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Re: Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?
I'd give this a 1 *


butt that would look like a sphincter
to you and you'd probably hit it !
riffraffrocks (OP)

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11/11/2012 02:33 AM
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Re: Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?
I'd give this a 1 *


butt that would look like a sphincter
to you and you'd probably hit it !
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27438348


Trying to keep this serious. Thanks.
BigAl
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11/11/2012 02:38 AM
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Re: Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?
Its all about being Politically Correct these days. IT's socially unacceptable to hurt peoples feelings.
It's too much. You can't have an opinion without other people thinking you're an asshole...
Not even talking about the gay thing specifically. It's everything.
KonspiracyKitty

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11/11/2012 02:41 AM

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Re: Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?
It's a generational thing I think...

Also, it's "cool". People love to show off how tolerant they are.

One of my non-muslim college professors was talking about how beautiful a religion Islam is, how many Qu'rans she owns and bragging about how she hasn't spoken to her sister to this day because she said something "racist" about muslims a few days after 09/11/2001. She was quite proud.

Or the white girl I heard proudly proclaiming how she never voted before but she was going to this time because it was so important to keep a black man in power.

Those are more extreme examples, but I think the sudden acceptance has something to do with that phenomenon. Popular culture today has this ideal where worshiping anything they view as a "minority" or as "oppressed" is some sort of holy rite.

As far as my personal beliefs, seeing two guys kissing or getting it on makes me want to puke, but I feel no animosity toward someone because of their sexual orientation and would never express any ill-will toward a homosexual for just being gay. I believe homosexuality is a biological thing in the vast majority of cases, and in cases where it's a choice, it's none of my damn businesses and I've no right to judge.

Last Edited by KonspiracyKitty on 11/11/2012 02:43 AM
riffraffrocks (OP)

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11/11/2012 02:45 AM
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Re: Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?
Its all about being Politically Correct these days. IT's socially unacceptable to hurt peoples feelings.
It's too much. You can't have an opinion without other people thinking you're an asshole...
Not even talking about the gay thing specifically. It's everything.
 Quoting: BigAl 26614714


I totally agree! Gay men want to live in a fantasy world that everything is honky dory since they are the whipping boy of civilization anymore. Everyone has to start being more honest.
riffraffrocks (OP)

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11/11/2012 02:52 AM
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Re: Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?
It's a generational thing I think...

Also, it's "cool". People love to show off how tolerant they are.

One of my non-muslim college professors was talking about how beautiful a religion Islam is, how many Qu'rans she owns and bragging about how she hasn't spoken to her sister to this day because she said something "racist" about muslims a few days after 09/11/2001. She was quite proud.

Or the white girl I heard proudly proclaiming how she never voted before but she was going to this time because it was so important to keep a black man in power.

Those are more extreme examples, but I think the sudden acceptance has something to do with that phenomenon. Popular culture today has this ideal where worshiping anything they view as a "minority" or as "oppressed" is some sort of holy rite.

As far as my personal beliefs, seeing two guys kissing or getting it on makes me want to puke, but I feel no animosity toward someone because of their sexual orientation and would never express any ill-will toward a homosexual for just being gay. I believe homosexuality is a biological thing in the vast majority of cases, and in cases where it's a choice, it's none of my damn businesses and I've no right to judge.
 Quoting: KonspiracyKitty


So, you find it disgusting, but have no right to judge. I respect that, but I don't see how I can feel at home with anyone who thinks that of me. I also don't feel that most gay men would jibe with that IF IT WAS PUT TO THEM THAT WAY. Again, we're in such a hurry to be kumbaya-happy-happy-joy-joy about how we're all one blah blah blah, when in fact it's just not the case. I think we can respect each other, but in the final analysis not like each other or want to be around each other.
Anonymous Coward
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11/11/2012 02:55 AM
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Re: Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?
I hope you die a painful lonely death AIDS faggot. There's no bigger vile scum on earth than people like you promoting your insane suicidal lifestyle.
Anonymous Coward
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11/11/2012 02:57 AM
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Re: Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?
You being gay = me not believing/ caring what u say
riffraffrocks (OP)

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11/11/2012 03:04 AM
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Re: Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?
I hope you die a painful lonely death AIDS faggot. There's no bigger vile scum on earth than people like you promoting your insane suicidal lifestyle.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 5271623


Why is it insane and suicidal?
riffraffrocks (OP)

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11/11/2012 03:07 AM
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Re: Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?
You being gay = me not believing/ caring what u say
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27105855


Not sure what that means.....
Anonymous Coward
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11/11/2012 03:10 AM
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Re: Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?
You being gay = me not believing/ caring what u say
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27105855


Not sure what that means.....
 Quoting: riffraffrocks


For instance, if I know you're gay, and you're talking to me; what ever you say, i'm like, "right....." because if you're gay, then I know everything else you perceive is false.
Anonymous Coward
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11/11/2012 03:15 AM
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Re: Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?
Why must gay men run around with their hands in the air proclaiming to be gay?

We get it!

Go and be gay... you don't need our approval
riffraffrocks (OP)

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11/11/2012 03:18 AM
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Re: Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?
You being gay = me not believing/ caring what u say
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27105855


Not sure what that means.....
 Quoting: riffraffrocks


For instance, if I know you're gay, and you're talking to me; what ever you say, i'm like, "right....." because if you're gay, then I know everything else you perceive is false.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27105855


So being gay makes everything I see or say is false. Why is that?
Anonymous Coward
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Finland
11/11/2012 03:20 AM
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Re: Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?
Personally I don't care one way or another if you're gay, lesbian or straight. I do, however, care about the society treating people in a fair way - segregating people based on race, sexual orientation or religion is not right. That's why I am politically active on minority issues. It's not because "I've seen the light" or "Embracing The Gay is the politically correct thing to do". It's a bigger issue than that.
Anonymous Coward
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11/11/2012 03:22 AM
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Re: Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?
Homosexuality has always been a mental disorder. It was only removed from the DSM due to protests by homosexuals - but that doesn't change that it is still a mental disorder.

People are naturally going to be adverse to mental illnesses, but if a culture promotes some mental illness then that aversion can be mitigated.

For example, cultures have considered schizophrenics to be shamans or "touched" by God. In India people will various deformities are thought to be touched by various deities.

Lucky for you, in the US, the culture-makers have tried to erase people's natural hatred towards your mental illness.

This sort of brain-washing takes time, but don't worry, it isn't fake.
riffraffrocks (OP)

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11/11/2012 03:22 AM
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Re: Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?
Why must gay men run around with their hands in the air proclaiming to be gay?

We get it!

Go and be gay... you don't need our approval
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26872344


That's not what this thread is about. I'm asking a specific question. I'm tired of straight men acting cool, when it grosses them out. Be honest! Don't play cool just so it makes your girlfriend happy.
riffraffrocks (OP)

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11/11/2012 03:31 AM
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Re: Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?
Homosexuality has always been a mental disorder. It was only removed from the DSM due to protests by homosexuals - but that doesn't change that it is still a mental disorder.

People are naturally going to be adverse to mental illnesses, but if a culture promotes some mental illness then that aversion can be mitigated.

For example, cultures have considered schizophrenics to be shamans or "touched" by God. In India people will various deformities are thought to be touched by various deities.

Lucky for you, in the US, the culture-makers have tried to erase people's natural hatred towards your mental illness.

This sort of brain-washing takes time, but don't worry, it isn't fake.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22104307


Well, I feel so much better now. I hope the culture-makers manage to erase your natural hatred towards me as well.
riffraffrocks (OP)

User ID: 2935487
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11/11/2012 03:34 AM
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Re: Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?
Personally I don't care one way or another if you're gay, lesbian or straight. I do, however, care about the society treating people in a fair way - segregating people based on race, sexual orientation or religion is not right. That's why I am politically active on minority issues. It's not because "I've seen the light" or "Embracing The Gay is the politically correct thing to do". It's a bigger issue than that.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 10777372


This thread addresses the question of SUBJECTIVE feelings towards homosexuality, not what your political convictions are.
Anonymous Coward
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11/11/2012 03:36 AM
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Re: Am I the only gay guy that doesn't buy the "straight guy sees the light" bullshit?
You being gay = me not believing/ caring what u say
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27105855


Not sure what that means.....
 Quoting: riffraffrocks


For instance, if I know you're gay, and you're talking to me; what ever you say, i'm like, "right....." because if you're gay, then I know everything else you perceive is false.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27105855


So being gay makes everything I see or say is false. Why is that?
 Quoting: riffraffrocks


Because you believe being gay is a normal thing. It's not. So i know if you belive that, wth else do you believe?

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