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Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17868616
United States
11/12/2012 09:28 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Just once?? I think you should be alright jack. Lest you want to spend the rest of your days slobbering on your own dingus. Its a cruel world out there i would recommend working shit out bro. Cool story tho bro. I got cheated on more times than i can count but thats only cuz I havent learned what comes after 8 yet.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27175055


I agree. Everyone can make mistakes. Yes, hormone imbalances do crazy things to you. She's absolutely right. Give her another chance. She sounds sincere. Blessings to you two OP.hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1170214
United States
11/12/2012 09:28 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
She's 43, I am 46. I got her as a virgin, never dreamed she would cheat, especially this late in the game. I was always faithful, had plenty of opportunity to step out but I never did. Family was always what kept me in line. I would feel a sucker if I let her back in.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17952043


Probably the virgin thing.

Hardest part would be the fact that you had to supress your horniness for 23 years and never got to "explore".

Will she allow you a lustful night now?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 3960495


I think he meant SHE was a virgin when he married her.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 864437
United States
11/12/2012 09:30 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
1 can't hurt it and 2 can't get on it! That is what some one told me long ago. sounds Ok to me.

My GF Left after 5 years of living togather. I have been alone for 22 YEARS!! Think about that Real Good!! A second Woman MAY NEVER COME!You May Die OLD and Alone.

Did she come Home?

Good Luck to You Both.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27586925
United States
11/12/2012 09:33 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
My personal experience is as follows:

Married for almost 29 years now.
After 3 kids and 12 years - got vasectomy.
Lost desire to have sex with wife - or anyone else - just lost interest.
Ten years after vasectomy wife and I discussed situation.
She did not want kids but wanted to have sex with someone who could possibly get her pregnant.
Vasectomy affected both of us.
Had vasectomy reversed. Not shooting blanks now.
Sex life is back.

BOTTOM LINE
Vasectomy/tubal ligation will have emotional effects you don't expect.
I was expecting to feel turned loose and fancy free.

When you mess with something as basic as procreation the results are now always what you expected and the effects are far reaching.

Stay with your wife and family. Divorce is never final. You will have a relationship with the mother of your children for the rest of your (or her) life.
Stick with your family. Your commitment is still valid.

If she chooses to leave then you can move on with a clean heart and mind.

Peace and love to you
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1170214
United States
11/12/2012 09:37 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Divorce should be rare, better to cut off all your arms,legs and eyes than to scatter your families life to the winds.

Remember for "for better or for worse", what did you think the "worse" part was for?

If we all thought like you in this thread,90% of the married people in the world would be divorced right know.

You can work this out, many go down this road, most learn powerful lessons and move on, this is an opportunity to make your marraiage even stronger,better.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27566595
China
11/12/2012 09:42 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Divorce should be rare, better to cut off all your arms,legs and eyes than to scatter your families life to the winds.

Remember for "for better or for worse", what did you think the "worse" part was for?

If we all thought like you in this thread,90% of the married people in the world would be divorced right know.

You can work this out, many go down this road, most learn powerful lessons and move on, this is an opportunity to make your marraiage even stronger,better.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1170214


yes, we must accept the shit things in life, to move on and get better.... :'(
Eye Believe

User ID: 25424019
United Kingdom
11/12/2012 09:47 AM

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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
I might add there is still a 9 yr old to raise. Always felt it important to be raised with both the mom and dad in the house. I am sort of old fashioned conservative in that way. Can't see my child ever being raised by someone whom may not share my values.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17952043


good on you op, there are to many that run away
believe in what you want
jdb

User ID: 2426721
United States
11/12/2012 09:48 AM

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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
She was always faithful, hard worker, great mother. I don't think I can trust her even though I feel she would never do it again. Nobody else can believe she did it neither. She had her tubes crossed at doctor request, she claims it made her crazy. Sounds lame to me, but I love her, can't stand it with or without her now.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17952043


No...not if she's truly repentant!

Also, God (Jesus) is the only source of real restoration - have seen it happen many times...*true* restoration where both are mentally and spiritually healed where past sins are not affecting current relationship

Gotta get to work but would be very happy to talk more - sign up with a trial account and message me!
God Is! We're not! Let's knock off all the nonsense!
telling it straight

User ID: 1461054
United States
11/12/2012 09:50 AM

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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Pray that God will give you the ability to forgive her. The years ahead of you together can be your best if you'll work on rebuilding your marriage. It won't be easy but it's worth it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1515187
United States
11/12/2012 09:53 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
She was always faithful, hard worker, great mother. I don't think I can trust her even though I feel she would never do it again. Nobody else can believe she did it neither. She had her tubes crossed at doctor request, she claims it made her crazy. Sounds lame to me, but I love her, can't stand it with or without her now.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17952043


Dude, I feel your pain...sort of. I've walked in a gf cheating on me. And have had a few others cheat on me. I have no bigger fear than finding out my current gf (and the love of my life) cheated on me. TBH I have no idea what I would do in your situation but you probably should divorce.

And I doubt having your tubes tied will make a women crazy. Wouldn't that reduce the hormones in her system?
 Quoting: Jento




maybe its time you go to youtube and watch "the secret" what you concentrate on most is what you draw into your life. You did that to yourself...watch the video....
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27590965
Belgium
11/12/2012 09:54 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Stop whining on GLP.

You and your wife get professional counselling and move on.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1503328
United States
11/12/2012 09:55 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Pics...or it didn't happen
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27566595
China
11/12/2012 10:01 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Better do revenge, and tell her that you also cheat on her. see the response, then divorce when she can't accept your cheating...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 4334338
Canada
11/12/2012 10:02 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
OP.

The way I see life is this way.
If you stay with her... it could be a big mistake. If you leave her... it could be a big mistake. Either way... you will make a big mistake whether you stay or you leave.
Here is the kicker... in the midst of your big mistakes you will find out what life is all about.
So... that being said.... make a mistake!
-EAT
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25818130
Canada
11/12/2012 10:08 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Frankly, I sympathise with your soon to be ex-wife.

It sounds to me like for some time your commitment has been to your 9 year old and your heart has been with the other woman.

Women are very sensitive to these things. If she didn't feel your heart was really with her, I don't blame her for cheating. She was seeking something that was missing in her marriage.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21903530
Canada
11/12/2012 10:09 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
OP, the fact that she is giving you the option of forgiving her, actually speaks to her morals and character. The average woman today would blame you for having "driven" her to cheat.

If you dump her, you could find yourself with a lot worse.

Take a small portion of the money that you will save on legal fees, have sex with an expensive escort, and call it even-stevens.
seer

User ID: 1529717
United States
11/12/2012 10:12 AM

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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
I truly love her though. It's not a matter of man or mouse.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17952043


shit happens.

unless there are other abuses, keep loving, forgive heal and continue to love each other.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 778024
United States
11/12/2012 10:13 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
She was always faithful, hard worker, great mother. I don't think I can trust her even though I feel she would never do it again. Nobody else can believe she did it neither. She had her tubes crossed at doctor request, she claims it made her crazy. Sounds lame to me, but I love her, can't stand it with or without her now.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17952043


gET OUT OF JAIL FREE CARD........
El Tiburon

User ID: 26857979
United States
11/12/2012 10:20 AM

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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
OP you are a real piece of work...

This is 100% your fault..

Keeping another woman above your wife had probably started to show through in the past few years... she went else where for attention...

Does she have her Queen of Spades tattoo yet?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25306942
United States
11/12/2012 10:21 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Now cheat on her, paybacks a bitch
 Quoting: Ballin on Your Tax Dollars


ohyeah
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27339405
United States
11/12/2012 10:26 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
The answers are all over, just as I have been. For some reason the saying, once a cheat always a cheat, sticks with me. The wife says she will die alone if I leave her. I think divorce is inevitable, hell papers are all but done. She has one class to take, then on to the judge. Maybe I will see if she stays true and remains alone, but I will be already taken by then anyways.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17952043




I feel your pain. I've also felt the pain of divorce. In my case, it still haunts me daily.

But. At your age, you could still find another. If you stay, you'll probably never trust her again.

Anyway, if you find another, will the new one have cheated on her ex? There aren't many virgins left. Will she really be better than the one you have; that is your son's mother?


I , normally, don't recommend religion to anyone, but..in your case, maybe religious counseling might fill a gap.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15523807
Ireland
11/12/2012 10:35 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Frankly, I sympathise with your soon to be ex-wife.

It sounds to me like for some time your commitment has been to your 9 year old and your heart has been with the other woman.

Women are very sensitive to these things. If she didn't feel your heart was really with her, I don't blame her for cheating. She was seeking something that was missing in her marriage.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25818130


I have to say there's something in what this poster says. On a subtle level your wife has probably been picking up on this emotional infidelity.

Having said that there's a long journey between thinking about sex with some one outside the marriage and actually doing it, so maybe there is no going back.

Also, I would imagine, that her having cheated will make it always very difficult for you not to cheat in the future when or if tempted. Part of what we do in a marriage is make that choice whenever the temptation arises...we flow past out of love and respect for our partners. We keep out of harms way :) But I can imagine the flow reflex getting a bit jammed if one or other has done the dirt already...
eatinmraw
User ID: 13951732
United States
11/12/2012 10:37 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
OP if she loves you too and is truly sorry? My wife of 17 years did me wrong like yours to :(. Took awhile but I forgave her. If she is sincere about her mistake give it a chance 23 years is a long time. God bless and be strong my friend. hf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 3696169





oh yeah...it's all good as long as when you're goin down on her you don't mind that some dudes jizz has JUST RECENTLY been drippin off of her face n clit and gettin her 4 lips all sticky. how long has this shit been goin on? they both should be givin up all internet and phone privacy privileges. bet there's been lots o purging goin on with their electronics. the sneaky criminal type would have been doin this for a while. notice how they're reeeeeeally sorry...CAUSE THEY GOT CAUGHT. while most will say it's they're first time...they've been havin ball sacks slappin their asses for a while AND doin all kinds of good sweaty dick n pussy suckin sex with OTHER GUY/S BUT NOT WITH YOU.

so yeah...as long as you don't mind mixin your dick jizz with the remnants of other guy's dick jizz stuck to her vag and ass walls then yes...take the whore back. besides...she could fuck every guy in town and then divorce you and take the house and most of the possessions in it. in some countries they still stone whores...here in the us they stone the guy for allowin the whoring buy takin his shit.

criscocharlie ALLLLLLL ABOOOOOOARD!!! your wives. by the way...what's their names? maybe i know em.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 14596164
Canada
11/12/2012 10:40 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
I wanted to add, that sometimes people aren't meant to be together forever.

This may be the next part of your life where you find your next love, maybe this other woman is your next true love, your soulmate.

Things happen for a reason OP, I'm not sure if this is happening so you can be with this other woman that longs for you, or if it is a test of strength, but time will tell.

As for your son, well, he will still have two great parents weather they are together or apart, and as long as you and your wife remain on good terms, my guess is that your son will be just fine.

I think kids are more affected by divorce when it ends nasty and the parents hate each other and put each other down in front of the child, that's when the child feels hurt.

Just my opinion.

Again, good luck OP.
eatinmraw
User ID: 13951732
United States
11/12/2012 10:43 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
I might add there is still a 9 yr old to raise. Always felt it important to be raised with both the mom and dad in the house. I am sort of old fashioned conservative in that way. Can't see my child ever being raised by someone whom may not share my values.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17952043





oh it's on now. you need to take that bitch to mory poor bitch for testin. DNA! DNA! DNA!

damned2madriver
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25818130
Canada
11/12/2012 10:44 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
I wanted to add, that sometimes people aren't meant to be together forever.

This may be the next part of your life where you find your next love, maybe this other woman is your next true love, your soulmate.

Things happen for a reason OP, I'm not sure if this is happening so you can be with this other woman that longs for you, or if it is a test of strength, but time will tell.

As for your son, well, he will still have two great parents weather they are together or apart, and as long as you and your wife remain on good terms, my guess is that your son will be just fine.

I think kids are more affected by divorce when it ends nasty and the parents hate each other and put each other down in front of the child, that's when the child feels hurt.

Just my opinion.

Again, good luck OP.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 14596164


Yes, when it gets nasty it is very hard even on an adult child. I was that son, but it happened to me when I was 19. 22 years later, My whole family is still suffering from the consequences of that infidelity and resulting divorce because neither parent posessed the maturity to do the right thing in the right way.

Reread that statement: right thing in the right way. Divorce may be the right thing to do, but make sure you two do it in the right way so you don't permanently damage your children.
Sparrow and Medicine

User ID: 2042563
United Kingdom
11/12/2012 10:47 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
It's your fault you couldn't fuck her well enough.
"What happened to the legendary Chris Redfield, huh? What happened to you!?"
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27592247
United States
11/12/2012 10:56 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
You should be able to work this into a fishing boat or Harley at least. Then get rid of the cheating slut.
eatinmraw
User ID: 13951732
United States
11/12/2012 11:01 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Now cheat on her, paybacks a bitch
 Quoting: Ballin on Your Tax Dollars


ohyeah
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25306942





yes yes...and make sure it's a married bitch that he pays back with. they will do some of the nastiest sex YOU WANT that they never do with hubby anymore. catch them after child birth and during the empty nest syndrome. they feel unappreciated, ugly or not wanted or needed. just ripe for the pickin.sideways

does anyone have a ceegar? pigchef
eve incognito
User ID: 27593724
Bosnia and Herzegovina
11/12/2012 11:06 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
No, everyone doesn't cheat, I never did and I had opportunities. I could be sacked up with a very successful women living the good life. My family meant more but now she has done the unthinkable to me and her own child. It's not all about me. The 9 yr old is my reason for being when it comes down to it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17952043


you don't mean that. you don't mean to tell us that there is anyone in this world who loves you more than your wife of 23 years.

you are anygry, and hurt, and rightfully so, bur you can't possibly think anyone loves you more than her, or you've marreid the other girls.

right?

tell me you donpt actually mean that, please?

i know you are devistated, and your wife made a terrible mistake.

i know you don't like her very much right now, but if you love her, give your marriage, your wife and your child another chance.

love is not obnly dressing up and having fun, or having hot sex, love is also getting through each others stupid mistakes....but i know you know all that.

don't cheat emotionally on your wife, if there is any third person in a marriage, that gets even remotely close to what only two people should share, that is worse than any kind of sexual cheating.

sher is your wife, if she doen't love you more than any pother person in this world, you must demand it and teach her to love you like that, and respond in the same loving manner.

i hope you fond it in your hear to forgive your wife and in time maybe you can rebuilt trust and be close and intimate once again.

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