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Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 846055
United Kingdom
11/12/2012 11:07 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
It's your fault you couldn't fuck her well enough.
 Quoting: Sparrow and Medicine


it was strange how shinji mikami didn't continue the story with chris and jill in RE2. instead mikami brought in leon who went on to steal the show, esp in RE4. chris and jill returned in 5, but it was shit, so they both faded into obscurity again.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24164945
United States
11/12/2012 11:07 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
How about some details.

Did she just suck some guys dick, or did she have intercourse?

Did she do it in the bed you sleep in?
eatinmraw
User ID: 13951732
United States
11/12/2012 11:27 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
How about some details.

Did she just suck some guys dick, or did she have intercourse?

Did she do it in the bed you sleep in?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24164945





YEAH!!! YEAH!!! and pics too. were there videhoes made or naughtee stuff sent through the internet or phone?scheming

inquisitioinquirin minds just needs ta know.
eve incognito
User ID: 27593724
Bosnia and Herzegovina
11/12/2012 11:43 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
You don't talk about your love - only your wife's love for you and the greater love this other woman has for you. Don't you have love for anyone? Honestly, it kind of sounds like you are wondering if this is a good enough reason to kick her out so that you can pursue this other relationship - and that you would do it in a NY minute if it weren't for your child.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7570540


Once you love someone, I think you always do to a certain degree. I honestly found out I love my wife even more then I realized. I love them both but have a passion for my wife. I just know I will always be wondering if she would ever do it again and I don't think I can live like that, passion or not.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17952043


Our significant others will, at some point, probably do something to betray or hurt us in some way. I believe that people need to work out these issues when possible. After all, you can move on to the next person but there will be issues in that relationship as well(different issues, perhaps, but issues all the same). People who have been divorced once have a greater chance of divorce a second time as well - because they don't learn to work on their relationships, changing what they are doing wrong and normally blaming the other person. Frankly, people don't cheat if everything is good at home. You need to talk to your wife and get some couple's therapy.

I've been married close to 30 years. Things haven't always been smooth. I can tell you that I work with screwed up kids and they are almost always from broken homes. Ask your teacher friends - you can usually pick out the kids from divorce without even having that prior knowledge.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7570540


i agree, there is no human husband or wife that will not betray trust or do something stupid and hurtful at some point in 20 or more years of marriage...

i just want to tell you something, i used to be the kind of person who thought only lame people get a divorce, i thought you ought to choose wisely, marry for love and work on it.
unless the man is beating you or cheating so much that it's keeping him from ever seeing you or the kids WORK ON IT...and how can you possibly marry such sadist cheat if you choose wisely.

i am a very open minded person, but i was very close minded when it comes to divorce.

then i got marreid to a man that did a complete 180 after we got married.

from loving he wet to cruel, from adoring me he went to "ahhh, you are not much but if you let me punch you around i'll keep you",
from charming he went to malicious, both to me and to other people...

i thought that divorce wasn't an option and decided that he can't be mean as much as i can love him and be good to him, and that was my plan to break through obvious issues he had with love, women, intimacy, and respecting your loved one....

it made things only worse, he mistook my kindness, patiance, and willingness to work on the marriage, for weakness, fear and not having anywhre to go, so putting up with his crap.

pretty soon i got really sick, doctors started tessing me for lupus, a very serious desease.

i looked like crap (usually i am not completely unfortunately looking woman), i was physically very sick and mentally i started going through horrible spells....
i was shell shocked that he fooled me so much and that i married such an evil man...i was ashemd and heart broken.
we started having really nasty fights and i became mean like i never was before...

never in any of my relationships did i have such nasty fights, i usually do not swing cheap shots at someone i love, but i was so broken down with the relization that this man enjoyed abusing me that in a way i became just like him....

it was a terrible situaton, and walking out of that house was one of the best things i have ever done....

you shouldn't judge people who choose divorce, divorce is as natural and normal as marriage and it happens when two people do not love each other enough.

real love conquers anything, and nobody should settle for anything else than real love.

good divorce is always better than bad marriage, and even my father who has been married for 35 years to the same woman told me after i left the marriage, that love is always a lottery, this time i simply lost,you betted aon all the wrong numbers, but maybe next time i will win a jack pot.
i think that is a very good way to look at things when "love" and marriage fail, or fail terribly like mine did.

coz i was devistated i was almost cathotonic for a month or two, i stopped showering, eating or sleeping i wld sit ony my mothers sofa, where i also slept and smoke really strong cigarettes and wait for me to die, (i was still pretty sick even though the doctor couldn't diagnose me with anything in particular)

now i am wiser to the whole divorce extravaganza:), and i know that, you don't leave your spouse unless you absolutely have to, but if you have to, that isn't the end of the world, and divorce isn't only for bad people and losers it's for all humans who have to do it.

it doesn't mean you are flakey if you had gotten a divorce, sometimes it means you got very hurt and betrayed and maybe had to leave the person you were married to even if you hate divorce and.....

don't judge divorced people, we are people like any other people, some of us are quite nice people and given the right conditions do know how to feed and nurture love as oppose to kill it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27582464
Mexico
11/12/2012 11:44 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
LOL, I assure you, I am all man. Just a little stunned the women I gave up everything for could do so wrong by me. I could had an abortion or walked, but I gave her everything I had, to be done this way. Our first born has already made us grandparents twice over. Don't want to lose my family but can't stand a cheater. It sucks and yet I still lover her even when I could do better in the pretty close future. Maybe I am a wuss, I don't know.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17952043


I guess you are a wuss.

Define wuss for me?

afro
Anonymous Coward
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United States
11/12/2012 11:45 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
She was always faithful, hard worker, great mother. I don't think I can trust her even though I feel she would never do it again. Nobody else can believe she did it neither. She had her tubes crossed at doctor request, she claims it made her crazy. Sounds lame to me, but I love her, can't stand it with or without her now.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17952043


Once a woman cheats and gets away with it ... she WILL do it again.

Recent studies say that 70% of ALL married women have cheated.
That means that almost all average to better looking married women HAVE cheated.

Marriage is a loser's game for men anymore. The Courts and laws are totally biased against men, so when a woman cheats SHE gets FINANCIALLY REWARDED ... but when a man cheats HE gets FINANCIALLY RAPED.

It is even worse for the man if there are ongoing alimony payments to the ex-wife: She is GETTING PAID TO SLEEP WITH OTHER MEN!!

Get out and do NOT look back. Take your lumps on a lump sum payment and AVOID alimony like the plague. For a long term marriage to avoid alimony she will probably end up with 95% of what you have and YOU will be starting completely over again (probably having to live in a dumpy apartment and drive a dumpy vehicle, even if you make 6 figures a year), but at least YOU will NOT be paying her for life.

My ADVICE TO my sons and ALL YOUNG MEN TODAY?

"NEVER, NEVER, NEVER MARRY!!

The deck is totally stacked against you ... AND the woman WILL, with 95% certainty CHEAT ON YOU.

WHY do you want to pay pay pay for the rest of your life and give up virtually everything YOU worked for because SHE chose to Cheat?

Date. Have fun. But NEVER MARRY!!"
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27582464
Mexico
11/12/2012 11:53 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
OP where is your degnity? Throw her the fuck out of your house.

Seriously, get another women who respects you. In the moment your wife cheated one you, she lost ALL respect for you. Do you want to live with someone who doesn't respect you? Think about it.

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27581335


Once RESPECT is lost, fuck it, it's OVER.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27564328
United States
11/12/2012 11:57 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
I truly love her though. It's not a matter of man or mouse.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17952043


It is so a matter of man or mouse. You're a mouse. Grow a pair and kick her to the curb for breaking her vows.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24473407
United States
11/12/2012 11:59 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Here is the real kicker, always had a past love who is quite successful and worships the ground I walk on. She has more love for me then my wife ever had, and she (wife) loves me dearly also. I am just stunned over the events the last couple months. I don't know to shit or go blind.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17952043


Go for the past love. No reason to stay after cheating, and if she doesn't love you.
TDJ

User ID: 26423286
United States
11/12/2012 12:02 PM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
It's just sex

have her tested for STD's and get over it.

She owes you big time now, use it to your advantage
If something can corrupt you, you're corrupted already.

Bob Marley

“The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.”
THOMAS PAINE (1737-1809)

Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one. Bruce Lee
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 14627334
11/12/2012 12:03 PM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Consider the Bio-Hazard aspect of what this creature did?

Some Bacteriological and Viral infections can spread through protection, or around it.

When you stick your dick in that thing, remember it is now infested with the unknown quantities of Bio-Hazards.

Every person that person has ever had relations with is now YOUR new Glory Hole.

A Toxic Soup of unknown infestation.
Dr. AculaModerator
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11/12/2012 12:11 PM

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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Do what makes YOU happy
eve incognito
User ID: 27593724
Bosnia and Herzegovina
11/12/2012 12:13 PM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Love is not about possessing somebody

So what if she had sex outside the relationship

If you truly love somebody you can realize it's just sex

If you can't let go of it it means the relationship was unhealthy dependency from the start
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26551418


There is a lot of truth in that statement, along with others also in this thread.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17952043


aw my gosh this thread is making me terribly worried and insecure.
love is also about not sticking your penis inside other women if you love your wife.

if sex is just sex, ok why don't my husband and i keep on shagging other people, and let's see how long that marriage lasts, coz it won't last long that's for sure.

if relationship will work people have to be a bit possessive and demand loyalty and faithfulness, otherwise what is the damn point.

i have had it with this phoney freedom thing.

it's very simple, if people want to have just sex casually and with many ppl, why do they get married.

i never have my cake after i eat it, it just isn't possible.

this thread is mean, it makes me very worreid that my husband will cheat on me, i have a 7 years younger husband, who is smarter, and more beautiful and more mature than me, and frankly, after this thread now i feel i do not stand a chance in this marriage, coz sex is jsut sex and he will shagg random women until i die of a broken heart.heartbreak
i can't find that crying "smile" but i am crying inside i really am.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24827996
United States
11/12/2012 12:14 PM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
send her packing man, show respect for yourself. plenty of women out there. do it because i can tell you from experience she will do it again
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24164945
United States
11/12/2012 12:15 PM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Consider the Bio-Hazard aspect of what this creature did?

Some Bacteriological and Viral infections can spread through protection, or around it.

When you stick your dick in that thing, remember it is now infested with the unknown quantities of Bio-Hazards.

Every person that person has ever had relations with is now YOUR new Glory Hole.

A Toxic Soup of unknown infestation.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 14627334


Yes, everytime you have sex, think of the other guys that have ejaculated there.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25615075
United States
11/12/2012 12:19 PM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Do not divorce. Forgive her. You will regret it the rest of your life.

I was married 22 years and my x-huisband thought that his unfaithfulness meant that he must divorce me. I did not want it.

We have four children and the pain that each of us has endured due to his choice of divorce has been very ugly... and it continues to go on for years. Seven years now... and it still hurts...

He went on to remarry, and then divorced again. The grass is NOT greener elsewhere.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26779413
United States
11/12/2012 12:29 PM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
She was always faithful, hard worker, great mother. I don't think I can trust her even though I feel she would never do it again. Nobody else can believe she did it neither. She had her tubes crossed at doctor request, she claims it made her crazy. Sounds lame to me, but I love her, can't stand it with or without her now.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17952043


Who did she cheat on you with? That will tell a lot about the cheating. Stonewall her, make her win you back. If she makes great efforts, give her a chance. If not, she does not truly want you and you are better off separated.
Anonymous Coward
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11/12/2012 12:36 PM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
She was always faithful, hard worker, great mother. I don't think I can trust her even though I feel she would never do it again. Nobody else can believe she did it neither. She had her tubes crossed at doctor request, she claims it made her crazy. Sounds lame to me, but I love her, can't stand it with or without her now.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17952043


Put your child's best interest first.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
11/12/2012 12:38 PM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Post pics or get out
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1514972
United States
11/12/2012 12:51 PM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Might I suggest "Crabrevenge" dot com?

Tell her they didn't come from you!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 17952043
United States
11/12/2012 01:12 PM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
She was always faithful, hard worker, great mother. I don't think I can trust her even though I feel she would never do it again. Nobody else can believe she did it neither. She had her tubes crossed at doctor request, she claims it made her crazy. Sounds lame to me, but I love her, can't stand it with or without her now.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17952043


Who did she cheat on you with? That will tell a lot about the cheating. Stonewall her, make her win you back. If she makes great efforts, give her a chance. If not, she does not truly want you and you are better off separated.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26779413


She cheated with an old HS friend whom never probably went past a kiss back then. She went to a concert, provided the free ticket, the free hotel room and the free pussy afterwards.
BradB5
User ID: 25398604
United States
11/12/2012 01:14 PM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
You've gotten some pretty insensitive answers, and some sensitive answers that I disagree with.

My two cents is this: After 23 years together, and only half way through raising your 9 year old child together, she betrayed you. It may have been because she needed some something new. Just a one time thing. It may have been because she doesn't love you anymore. Either way, it's unforgivable, in my opinion. It's the epitome of selfishness. One cannot expect to be forgiven upon being caught cheating. So she put it all on the line for this affair. She risked breaking your heart and losing you forever, and she risked breaking your child's heart and losing him or her as well. If she didn't mind risking that you shouldn't mind giving her exactly what she asked for.

Your marriage will never be the same, even if you forgive her. Her actions will leave a permanent stain on your relationship.

Do not forgive her for her. Don't feel guilty for taking her child away and don't feel guilty for leaving her broke and lonely. Your love and support, as well as your financial support,, didn't mean enough to keep her faithful, so apparently she doesn't feel like she needs it. Maybe the guy she cheated on you with will take her in. He won't. Maybe he sister that told her this is what she should do will take her in. She won't.

Leave and never look back. It's the only way you'll ever be truly happy again.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 17952043
United States
11/12/2012 01:36 PM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Yes, sometimes my answers are insensitive. I can go to bed forgiving and wake up madder then hell the nxt day. If I didn't have to see her and my son every day, I would have dropped her like a rock. Seeing her everyday is my weakness and that will never change no matter what happens in future, well at least till my son is raised.
nwo_watcher_911

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11/12/2012 01:41 PM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
For what it's worth, many have moved on and had better success. Adultery in a sin.
nwo_watcher_911
Anonymous Coward
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United States
11/12/2012 01:43 PM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
OP if she loves you too and is truly sorry? My wife of 17 years did me wrong like yours to :(. Took awhile but I forgave her. If she is sincere about her mistake give it a chance 23 years is a long time. God bless and be strong my friend. hf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 3696169


Its not a mistake, when they cheat theyve been unhappy for quite a awhile. A woman will not fully jump ship until she tests the waters and see if the other man will take her in, Thats why she slept with them

No use living a lie. Its best to let the unhappy woman go.
Anonymous Coward
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11/12/2012 01:44 PM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
For what it's worth, many have moved on and had better success. Adultery in a sin.
 Quoting: nwo_watcher_911


I agree, best to move on than live a lie.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26532944
United Kingdom
11/12/2012 01:48 PM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Grow a bigger dick to please her. Maybe join a swingers club if she likes to wonder. I will do her one if ya want?
AxE

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11/12/2012 01:55 PM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Not a fan of sloppy seconds.
ChipModerator
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11/12/2012 02:00 PM

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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Hmmm.


Sad, OP.


You say you still love her, so if you leave her what good is that gonna be doing you? You would just be all obsessive over her and would just essentially be living a lie. Unless you genuinely tried to move on and find someone else. So.


If you hated her now, the answer would be simple.


It will be your sacrifice to stay in the relationship now... tell her that, if you do stay. Make it clear what an upstanding man you are to stay beside her (if you do).
 Quoting: Mister Obvious


I agree with MO...However, you must be able to initiate sex with her on DEMAND after this little bump in the road.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. ~Arthur C. Clarke

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. ~Mark Twain

He's a nut-bag! Just because the fucker's got a library card doesn't make him Yoda! ~David Mills ~ Se7en

every-citizen
eve incognito
User ID: 27593724
Bosnia and Herzegovina
11/12/2012 02:09 PM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Just a side note, but both myself and my wife will not have any problems finding another, even at our age. She is still very good looking and has a lot going for her, good job, etc. Trust is paramount and I always let her do whatever she wanted. She always took care of her family before even herself. She is a good women, but what she done is undefendable in my old fashioned mind.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17952043


you are so not old fashioned.

she did a very bad thing.

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