Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?

you don't mean that. you don't mean to tell us that there is anyone in this world who loves you more than your wife of 23 years.

you are anygry, and hurt, and rightfully so, bur you can't possibly think anyone loves you more than her, or you've marreid the other girls.

right?

tell me you donpt actually mean that, please?

i know you are devistated, and your wife made a terrible mistake.

i know you don't like her very much right now, but if you love her, give your marriage, your wife and your child another chance.

love is not obnly dressing up and having fun, or having hot sex, love is also getting through each others stupid mistakes....but i know you know all that.

don't cheat emotionally on your wife, if there is any third person in a marriage, that gets even remotely close to what only two people should share, that is worse than any kind of sexual cheating.

sher is your wife, if she doen't love you more than any pother person in this world, you must demand it and teach her to love you like that, and respond in the same loving manner.

i hope you fond it in your hear to forgive your wife and in time maybe you can rebuilt trust and be close and intimate once again.

what are you a fucking man or a mouse?? you shouldnt even have to ask that question.. cuckold..

She's 43, I am 46. I got her as a virgin, never dreamed she would cheat, especially this late in the game. I was always faithful, had plenty of opportunity to step out but I never did. Family was always what kept me in line. I would feel a sucker if I let her back in.

I might add there is still a 9 yr old to raise. Always felt it important to be raised with both the mom and dad in the house. I am sort of old fashioned conservative in that way. Can't see my child ever being raised by someone whom may not share my values.

I truly love her though. It's not a matter of man or mouse.

i agree, there is no human husband or wife that will not betray trust or do something stupid and hurtful at some point in 20 or more years of marriage...

i just want to tell you something, i used to be the kind of person who thought only lame people get a divorce, i thought you ought to choose wisely, marry for love and work on it.
unless the man is beating you or cheating so much that it's keeping him from ever seeing you or the kids WORK ON IT...and how can you possibly marry such sadist cheat if you choose wisely.

i am a very open minded person, but i was very close minded when it comes to divorce.

then i got marreid to a man that did a complete 180 after we got married.

from loving he wet to cruel, from adoring me he went to "ahhh, you are not much but if you let me punch you around i'll keep you",
from charming he went to malicious, both to me and to other people...

i thought that divorce wasn't an option and decided that he can't be mean as much as i can love him and be good to him, and that was my plan to break through obvious issues he had with love, women, intimacy, and respecting your loved one....

it made things only worse, he mistook my kindness, patiance, and willingness to work on the marriage, for weakness, fear and not having anywhre to go, so putting up with his crap.

pretty soon i got really sick, doctors started tessing me for lupus, a very serious desease.

i looked like crap (usually i am not completely unfortunately looking woman), i was physically very sick and mentally i started going through horrible spells....
i was shell shocked that he fooled me so much and that i married such an evil man...i was ashemd and heart broken.
we started having really nasty fights and i became mean like i never was before...

never in any of my relationships did i have such nasty fights, i usually do not swing cheap shots at someone i love, but i was so broken down with the relization that this man enjoyed abusing me that in a way i became just like him....

it was a terrible situaton, and walking out of that house was one of the best things i have ever done....

you shouldn't judge people who choose divorce, divorce is as natural and normal as marriage and it happens when two people do not love each other enough.

real love conquers anything, and nobody should settle for anything else than real love.

good divorce is always better than bad marriage, and even my father who has been married for 35 years to the same woman told me after i left the marriage, that love is always a lottery, this time i simply lost,you betted aon all the wrong numbers, but maybe next time i will win a jack pot.
i think that is a very good way to look at things when "love" and marriage fail, or fail terribly like mine did.

coz i was devistated i was almost cathotonic for a month or two, i stopped showering, eating or sleeping i wld sit ony my mothers sofa, where i also slept and smoke really strong cigarettes and wait for me to die, (i was still pretty sick even though the doctor couldn't diagnose me with anything in particular)

now i am wiser to the whole divorce extravaganza:), and i know that, you don't leave your spouse unless you absolutely have to, but if you have to, that isn't the end of the world, and divorce isn't only for bad people and losers it's for all humans who have to do it.

it doesn't mean you are flakey if you had gotten a divorce, sometimes it means you got very hurt and betrayed and maybe had to leave the person you were married to even if you hate divorce and.....

don't judge divorced people, we are people like any other people, some of us are quite nice people and given the right conditions do know how to feed and nurture love as oppose to kill it.

She was always faithful, hard worker, great mother. I don't think I can trust her even though I feel she would never do it again. Nobody else can believe she did it neither. She had her tubes crossed at doctor request, she claims it made her crazy. Sounds lame to me, but I love her, can't stand it with or without her now.

At 46 your not going to be a desired food item if you what I mean. If she is sorry OP? Work it out. Don't sex her right away either, give it time and it will be good again.

I might add there is still a 9 yr old to raise. Always felt it important to be raised with both the mom and dad in the house. I am sort of old fashioned conservative in that way. Can't see my child ever being raised by someone whom may not share my values.

I truly love her though. It's not a matter of man or mouse.

Damn dude. Sorry for what you are going through. My kids were 3 and 5 when my ex cheated with my best friend. But like you I didn't want my kids to not have a mom and dad growing up. It was my worst fear as a child growing up listening to my parents argue. So I forgave her but was always looking over my shoulder.

13 years later it happened again just a couples of years beginning to really trust her again. I have never cheated. Never done a one night stand. I was looking for my princess. My problem is I'm too honest. Chicks don't dig that. So kick her ass to the curb and go through hell. OR live with a cheater cause once a cheater, always a cheater. The process is hell...1 month for every year together to get over.

Good luck....time heals

I'm so sorry - I didn't mean to judge divorced people but it did sound like that. Of course, you are right that a "good divorce is better than a bad marriage." I meant that most people give up on their marriages when they can be saved if given time, patience, and training. They give up over things like not spending money as wisely as should be, over the wife not cooking/cleaning as good as the husband would like, too many speeding tickets, in-laws, a sick child, losing a job, the wife no longer looking like she's 25 or the husband losing his hair, or perhaps one likes to flirt. In those cases, one soon learns that you are merely trading one problem for another when you find the next guy/girl. Each relationship will have challenges and you have to learn when and how to stand and fight for your happiness.


Then, there are those other cases - abusive spouse, affairs, drug/alcohol/gambling addiction... Sometimes you have no choice but to get out. My mother was divorced - and that was back in the days when divorce was mostly unheard of. Her husband was abusive and when he threatened to kill her she packed up my older siblings and fled across country to safety. There, she met my father who was such a decent man - they had a good life. I hope your life is equally as happy. :)

This is wronge, In the bible it says us good people will get walked all over by the ppl who choose the worldy things over love. You are one of the few who have true heart and unconditional love and u should not let it go. i sense heartbreak but dont let it take away that special love and goodness you have deep down inside you this is a rare trait. if you want to blame any1 blame these satanist who spoon feed our children and friends and loved ones with constant brainwashing for lust and temptation on TV, music, Movie. ect.. Sad times we live and dont let it darken your soul brother. god bless ya man.

Yes you retard What are you a man? I don't think so if you have to ask that question