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Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27243544
United States
11/12/2012 08:10 PM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
You love her.

Shit happens.

Grow up.

Get over it.

Move on.

Choose to be happy.

This is wise advice, above. Don't piss on it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26945271


Exactly. Grow up... Seriously... Sex isn't worth ruining your family over... Everyone makes mistakes... Divorce wrecks the kids life...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2704006
United States
11/12/2012 08:13 PM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Yes you retard What are you a man? I don't think so if you have to ask that question
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2704006


This person is asking for advice and you call him a retard? Maybe you should take a long look in the mirror. Try putting yourself in someones shoes.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1128877


actually I did put myself in his shoes and that was my answer. Pathetic to ask thousands of people if he should continue to kiss the cum of his wifes lips or divorce her. LOL This world is to full of Canadian lady men
cowardlyMe
User ID: 20395699
United States
11/12/2012 08:47 PM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
OP - marriage counseling with a real professional before you do anything. Coming here to the lunatic fringe wasn't your best move. Personally I think you should stick it out. If you divorce, your son will be fucked up. And if you stay, you must cut off the other woman.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27777989
China
11/14/2012 09:44 PM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Do what makes YOU happy
 Quoting: Dr. Acula


this is nice advice. i agree
Lyttlmiss

User ID: 23177373
United States
11/14/2012 10:04 PM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
After 23 years of marrage.. You say you love her she made a mistake. Trust is hard to earn and easy to loose. But after 23 years she deserves a second chance IMO. Dont let you pride over what this guy looks like make you decision for you. Hormones can really mess you up.. Why do you think Post partum depression can cause suicide and such. Just my 2 cents.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 17952043
United States
11/21/2012 04:59 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Well, I tried only to find out 6 yrs ago, she went out with another man to a concert. I am afraid this one is a lost cause. Absolutely no trust in her, can't live wondering when the hammer will fall again. It's my son I worry about the most as his grades are already suffering and no more extra curricular school activities due to bad grades. As for me, time to dust off the ole truck, this boys headin to town....
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28200526
United Kingdom
11/21/2012 05:28 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Marriage is a man made concept to control the population. Follow your heart, what is broken cannot be fixed. If she did it once she might do it again. I left after 9 years following the 2nd boyfriend and I overheard them planning to 'get rid of me' so it was time for me to go and enjoy my life for myself. Hard on the kids but they survived.
andy (uk)
User ID: 1582847
United Kingdom
11/21/2012 05:30 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
just a mid life crisis, show her more attention and spice up your sex life so she wont have to look else where
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 9128390
Australia
11/21/2012 05:33 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Become swingers..

Its fun.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 17952043
United States
11/21/2012 05:34 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
just a mid life crisis, show her more attention and spice up your sex life so she wont have to look else where
 Quoting: andy (uk) 1582847


I did exactly that only to be greeted with more lies. Not of the cheating variety just every day routine stuff she has or had no reason to lie about.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17444403
United States
11/21/2012 06:03 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
She was always faithful, hard worker, great mother. I don't think I can trust her even though I feel she would never do it again. Nobody else can believe she did it neither. She had her tubes crossed at doctor request, she claims it made her crazy. Sounds lame to me, but I love her, can't stand it with or without her now.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17952043


you are a spinless little man, no wonder she cheats on you.

if you had even one ball, you'd bitch slap the hell out of her, throw her shit to the curb and change the locks to your home.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17444403
United States
11/21/2012 06:05 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
OP - marriage counseling with a real professional before you do anything. Coming here to the lunatic fringe wasn't your best move. Personally I think you should stick it out. If you divorce, your son will be fucked up. And if you stay, you must cut off the other woman.
 Quoting: cowardlyMe 20395699


want to really feel fukd over? hire some dumbass marriaqge counselor, pay $2-300hr and find out that shit is a waste.

so go to a counselor so you can be double fuked over.
Stefan Parlow

User ID: 1068734
Austria
11/21/2012 07:30 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
If one has to ask what he should do it´s better when the wife leaves you. Her action was obviously the right way, baby. Do you also ask when you need to go to the toilet?
Parrot-in-FlipFlops

User ID: 26715773
United States
11/21/2012 07:55 AM

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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
She's 43, I am 46. I got her as a virgin, never dreamed she would cheat, especially this late in the game. I was always faithful, had plenty of opportunity to step out but I never did. Family was always what kept me in line. I would feel a sucker if I let her back in.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17952043


I think everyone deserves a second chance. Anyone under the right circumstances will cheat.
If you wouldn't give her a second chance, why should anyone ever give you the opportunity to prove yourself?
We are human, we make mistakes and you wouldn't be here on this planet if you weren't capable of mistakes and deserving of forgiveness.
You can tell if someone is truly sorry....if there is any doubt in your mind that she is not, probably best to move on, but if you KNOW in your heart she is truly sorry for hurting you, give her a chance to prove herself just as you would want the same!
Live and Let Live


One need not pray or plead to our Creator.....all one needs to do is remove the walls!


One who refuses to Self Govern can expect someone else to Govern for them!

Until you give up the idea that happiness will be found somewhere else.....the next place, the next partner, new job..... you will never be happy!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26456664
United States
11/21/2012 07:59 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Now cheat on her, paybacks a bitch
 Quoting: Ballin on Your Tax Dollars


yeah and if you cant pull it off (bang another chick) , then i know why ur wife is bangin other dudes.


CAUSE U LAME DAWG
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1349589
United States
11/21/2012 08:06 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Stone her! And yes, I'm serious
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28201416
Ireland
11/21/2012 08:07 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
According to Yeshua, as hard as it is, you should forgive her. Sorry to hear OP.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1574740
Germany
11/21/2012 08:08 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
For revenge, you should sleep with her sister.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28201416
Ireland
11/21/2012 08:08 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Sit down and talk to her and find out the reasons for her betrayal.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23881778
United States
11/21/2012 08:20 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Hi OP!
Unless other people have experienced what you are currently going through, they have no clue as to the inner turmoil that you are feeling.
Being one of those individuals who have gone through your exact situation and being very close to your age, I would like to offer the following advice.
1. Be the bigger person and allow your son to have the "home & family" that he needs until he becomes an adullt.
This doesn't mean that you approve of your wifes cheating, it just shows that you love you son more than you despise your wife.
2. Find a positive way to release your anger and frustrations, talk to a close friend or family. Jump into a hobby that we'll take your mind away from the problems at home. I found prayer and my faith in God to be awesome at a time like this.
3. Be upfront with your wife about your intentions, marriage counselling may work but I found it to be a waste of time (that's just my opinion).
Take care and God Bless!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26722864
Canada
11/21/2012 08:20 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
She was always faithful, hard worker, great mother. I don't think I can trust her even though I feel she would never do it again. Nobody else can believe she did it neither. She had her tubes crossed at doctor request, she claims it made her crazy. Sounds lame to me, but I love her, can't stand it with or without her now.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17952043



Matthew 19:3-10

King James Version (KJV)


"The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?"

"And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,"

"And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?"

"Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."

"They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?"

"He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so."

"And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery."

"His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry."
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26028846
Canada
11/21/2012 08:41 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
its just pussy man get over it, try having a open relationship then 23 years is a long time, but shes still at home
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26974971
United States
11/21/2012 08:55 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
After 23 years of your bullshit you should let her find someone who she can enjoy her life with, while you're at work.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 17952043
United States
11/23/2012 01:30 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
It's over, her and her sister went to a concert several years back and another man was with her. She swears nothing happened and we were separated at that time anyways. I am done, no trust, time to cut the cord.
Those who were serious in this thread, I appreciate your thoughts. Time to move on though, loyalty and being faithful kept me from doing something I should have done years ago. My son will be gaining, not losing in this. I do wish the x luck, will always be her friend and we both will raise our son. My hope and prayer is she finds a good man, one whom will be a good role model for my son. I won't be able to control everything, this is where faith comes in. Thank you all again who commented.
NDH

User ID: 17512155
Australia
11/23/2012 01:47 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Look ,
I think you should call it off ...
You married each other and promised to keep that between each other (No this is not a bible rant) ...


Your kids will understand one day ...

There is more faithful ladies out there pal :-)



cheers

Last Edited by NDH on 11/23/2012 01:48 AM
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1169797
United States
11/23/2012 01:56 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Take it from someone who forgave one event only to find out another. Once she learns she can cheat with no consequences she will do it again, and again. Too bad the bitch didn't learn. Now she is living in shack with him and I have new wonderful wife and life with new person. Mine was a virgin too. I think that desire to see what else is out there is too much.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1169797
United States
11/23/2012 01:57 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Look ,
I think you should call it off ...
You married each other and promised to keep that between each other (No this is not a bible rant) ...


Your kids will understand one day ...

There is more faithful ladies out there pal :-)



cheers
 Quoting: NDH


What kind of example do you want to set for your kids! If you allow this to continue, he will learn from that so you will be doing him much greater injustice in staying.
NDH

User ID: 17512155
Australia
11/23/2012 01:59 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Look ,
I think you should call it off ...
You married each other and promised to keep that between each other (No this is not a bible rant) ...


Your kids will understand one day ...

There is more faithful ladies out there pal :-)



cheers
 Quoting: NDH


What kind of example do you want to set for your kids! If you allow this to continue, he will learn from that so you will be doing him much greater injustice in staying.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1169797






I told him to call it off , as in LEAVE ?!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 12962642
United States
11/23/2012 02:03 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Cheat on her. Then it ll be even. If she doesnt like it, then she aint the one anyway.
grasptheuniverse

User ID: 27324723
Australia
11/23/2012 02:05 AM
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Re: Wife of 23 years cheated on me, should I divorce?
Having tubes tied, does not make any women crazy. It does not affect hormones or anything. Your wife cheating is a big deal she may do it again if you forgive her. How did you find out. It can be a deadly game and she could catch something and pass it to you.
caz

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