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Hurt

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1505901
United States
11/13/2012 10:33 AM
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Hurt
My husband and his mother are currently out for coffee right now. They're taking FOREVER. He has to go to work later, and this was supposed to be OUR time together. His mother is always trying to do this to me. I feel hurt and left out.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1266452
Canada
11/13/2012 10:37 AM
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Re: Hurt
Communicate this.
Oldmotherhubbard

User ID: 3926723
United States
11/13/2012 10:38 AM
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Re: Hurt
If you don't express your feelings now and communicate, be prepared for this to always happen.
Oldmotherhubbardglp@live.com
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 4545733
United States
11/13/2012 10:40 AM
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Re: Hurt
Why are you not having coffee with them?
Mickeyblue
User ID: 9806228
United States
11/13/2012 10:41 AM
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Re: Hurt
Grow up and change the plan by not letting her have this power over you. And, for your own sake, do not even mention it to your husband that it was even noticed by you.
Watching the world
Crypt Watcher

User ID: 21685109
United States
11/13/2012 10:42 AM

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Re: Hurt
Mother in laws suck. Hope your husband isn't a pussy and has to ask her permission before he makes any decisions.

If this is the case...run sistah run!! ahhh
Ignorance is bliss until reality bites you in the ass.

I bury the dead.
Her_Majesty

User ID: 12919579
United States
11/13/2012 10:44 AM

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Re: Hurt
Why are you not having coffee with them?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4545733


ohyeah
“You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.”
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1505901
United States
11/13/2012 10:47 AM
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Re: Hurt
Why are you not having coffee with them?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4545733


ohyeah
 Quoting: Her_Majesty


They are all about having their "private chats". Once years ago I asked to go, and he said he wanted time with just her. It really hurt my feelings. It brings me to 2 questions.

1.) Is that normal for a grown man to want so much "mommy time"?

2.) Is it acceptable for him to exclude his own wife?
Her_Majesty

User ID: 12919579
United States
11/13/2012 10:51 AM

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Re: Hurt
Why are you not having coffee with them?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4545733


ohyeah
 Quoting: Her_Majesty


They are all about having their "private chats". Once years ago I asked to go, and he said he wanted time with just her. It really hurt my feelings. It brings me to 2 questions.

1.) Is that normal for a grown man to want so much "mommy time"?

2.) Is it acceptable for him to exclude his own wife?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1505901


does he spend time one on one time with you?
do you spend any time with the two of them?
how many years has this been going on?

not questions you need to answer here but you do have to ask yourself these things and then think about opening up to him about it. if you don't have open communication your relationship is doomed

best of luck to you hf
“You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.”
Mickeyblue
User ID: 9806228
United States
11/13/2012 10:52 AM
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Re: Hurt
What is so "much" mommy time????????

How is the rest of your marriage?

Does she come there to meet him then leave?

Why not invite 'mommy' over for coffee and scones.

You will grow no good seed by pitting her against you, that is a fact. If you have, overall, a good marriage enjoy that and let the rest go. Do not give her power over you and cause issues by your crying about it.
eve incognito
User ID: 27668508
Bosnia and Herzegovina
11/13/2012 10:53 AM
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Re: Hurt
in my personal experiance that is a bad sign.

in my experiance your husband only sleeps with you coz it's socially unaccaptable to sleep with his mom, but it's impossible to speculate like this online, so i hope i'm wrong.

mature men put their partners first, and everyone else second to that.

whatever you do do not engage in quarrals with his mom, or family. it is not her doing you wrong, it's him.

be cordial and polite to your mother in law, and talk it out with him, tell him how it makes you feel, what he is doing, or what she is doing, and tell him he is your number one, out of all people, and you would like to be that for him too.

if she is mean and constantly trying to torture you, don't fight with her, tell him and demand that he protects you from his mother's mean ways, it is my job to protect my husband from my family, if they would be disrespectful to him, i would deal with them, so he can be charming and polite, and my paretns will forgive me if i fight with them, but they would have a harder time to forgive him.

so tell your husband you'd never let your mom treat him like his mom treats you, if he doesn't protect you, he is a bad husband, think about whether you will keep on settling for a bad husband or change that.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26980506
United States
11/13/2012 11:33 AM
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Re: Hurt
If I had a "problem" this trivial, I think I would get on my knees and thank the Good Lord for my blessings. Because seriously, if you think this is a real problem, then your life must be WONDERFUL.

I'm half-kidding, but come on, you're not seriously complaining about this are you?

As a man, I would say it REALLY isn't worth it to bring this up to your husband. A million little things like this will break your camel's back....just my opinion, and I wish you the best either way.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1505901
United States
11/13/2012 11:40 AM
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Re: Hurt
Why are you not having coffee with them?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4545733


ohyeah
 Quoting: Her_Majesty


They are all about having their "private chats". Once years ago I asked to go, and he said he wanted time with just her. It really hurt my feelings. It brings me to 2 questions.

1.) Is that normal for a grown man to want so much "mommy time"?

2.) Is it acceptable for him to exclude his own wife?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1505901


does he spend time one on one time with you?
do you spend any time with the two of them?
how many years has this been going on?

not questions you need to answer here but you do have to ask yourself these things and then think about opening up to him about it. if you don't have open communication your relationship is doomed

best of luck to you hf
 Quoting: Her_Majesty


I don't mind answering here. This has been going on for since I met my husband 9 years ago. It was much worse when we were dating. He would actually drop me off and go home if his mother called and asked him to!

When we first got married, he would go to her house at her beck and call to eat dinner. I was not allowed to go, and would have to eat by myself. His mother made it clear that that was THEIR time and I was not invited. Then, they would chat for 3 or 4 hours. Sometimes I would just cry and be sad. Other times, I would be mad, and would go hang out with my mom. It depended on my mood.

I finally told my husband that when he went to her house, I was family, and I was to be invited. He told his mother how I felt. She actually sent MY mother an email explaining that they needed "alone time", and that I didn't need to feel left out. My mother wrote back, and said she would have never done that to her husband, and I SHOULD felt left out, because I WAS being left out.

It has stopped for the most part. Today, they had to attend a meeting regarding the family business, and managed to sneak coffee int hough.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24810381
United States
11/13/2012 11:52 AM
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Re: Hurt
My husband and his mother are currently out for coffee right now. They're taking FOREVER. He has to go to work later, and this was supposed to be OUR time together. His mother is always trying to do this to me. I feel hurt and left out.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1505901


does he check out GLP?...maybe he will see this if he does.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1505901
United States
11/13/2012 12:02 PM
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Re: Hurt
My husband and his mother are currently out for coffee right now. They're taking FOREVER. He has to go to work later, and this was supposed to be OUR time together. His mother is always trying to do this to me. I feel hurt and left out.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1505901


does he check out GLP?...maybe he will see this if he does.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24810381


He doesn't have a GLP account. He's not interested.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26980506
United States
11/13/2012 12:15 PM
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Re: Hurt
My husband and his mother are currently out for coffee right now. They're taking FOREVER. He has to go to work later, and this was supposed to be OUR time together. His mother is always trying to do this to me. I feel hurt and left out.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1505901


does he check out GLP?...maybe he will see this if he does.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24810381


He doesn't have a GLP account. He's not interested.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1505901


He's probably telling his mom how you're on the computer all day....
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 4545733
United States
11/13/2012 12:19 PM
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Re: Hurt
I'm going to guess that Mommy has money........!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1505901
United States
11/13/2012 12:34 PM
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Re: Hurt
My husband and his mother are currently out for coffee right now. They're taking FOREVER. He has to go to work later, and this was supposed to be OUR time together. His mother is always trying to do this to me. I feel hurt and left out.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1505901


does he check out GLP?...maybe he will see this if he does.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24810381


He doesn't have a GLP account. He's not interested.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1505901


He's probably telling his mom how you're on the computer all day....
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26980506


I'm not on the computer all day. I get a few minutes to check GLP in the morning if I'm off work. Please don't assume things you don't know.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22441207
United States
11/13/2012 12:37 PM
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Re: Hurt
Because a man spending time with two women at once is just too much of a headache, he has to split you guys up or he'll crack
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1505901
United States
11/13/2012 12:49 PM
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Re: Hurt
I'm going to guess that Mommy has money........!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4545733


No, Mommy doesn't have money. And if she did, she's certainly not the type that would share any with him.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1505901
United States
11/13/2012 12:52 PM
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Re: Hurt
What is so "much" mommy time????????

How is the rest of your marriage?

Does she come there to meet him then leave?

Why not invite 'mommy' over for coffee and scones.

You will grow no good seed by pitting her against you, that is a fact. If you have, overall, a good marriage enjoy that and let the rest go. Do not give her power over you and cause issues by your crying about it.
 Quoting: Mickeyblue 9806228


Our marriage is fine, except for his mother (and sister but I won't go into that) competing with me for his time/attention.

I don't mean this sarcastic, but you don't understand. She doesn't want to come over for coffee and scones. She's not a social person. My husband is her best (and only ) friend. If she never saw another living soul but him, she'd be happy. That's why she clings to him so much.
lawnornament

User ID: 12269654
United States
11/13/2012 12:54 PM
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Re: Hurt
My husband and his mother are currently out for coffee right now. They're taking FOREVER. He has to go to work later, and this was supposed to be OUR time together. His mother is always trying to do this to me. I feel hurt and left out.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1505901


i have a coffee maker, want to come over to my place for some of our own personal time? ;)

pigchef
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User ID: 21090171
United States
11/13/2012 12:56 PM

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Re: Hurt
My husband and his mother are currently out for coffee right now. They're taking FOREVER. He has to go to work later, and this was supposed to be OUR time together. His mother is always trying to do this to me. I feel hurt and left out.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1505901


He has mommy issues.
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