Im trapped and looking for INSIGHT and INNER UNDERSTANDING

I want to be the best person I can be but it feel like a fucking black cloud follows me around. Im tired of the bullshit. feels like all the people that come in my life are just paid actors funded by some unknown source or rich person as a fucking culture experiment. I fel like im on the TRUEMAN show. HOW CAN I ESCAPE THIS REALM? IM SERIOUS.

Some guy came up to me and told me that he has an app. on his phone that lets him access sattelites and can see me even inside my house...WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!