Give her the original to read: Quoting: Anonymous Coward 331367
Justine by Marquis de Sade
Keep divorce papers ready *lol*
ok i have a confession to make, and i need your honest opinion, but please only the men that do not make a big deal out of a woman not saying 'hi' back to them, and the women who don't think jehova is a good and just god, and jesus is a role model for love.
so basically no creeps or christian people.
i can't make a thread, coz i can't log in, i apologize to OP for using his thread for my own purposes, but maybe people could like comment his OP and then my post??
here it is
i am one of those people who used to masturbate before i had started having sex.i grew up in a liberal family so i never felt anything of it.
when i was 18, almost 19 i had been just broken up with my first bf.
i am not the kind of person that likes the idea of sex with someone i do not have strong feelings for, and since i only had strong feelings for my ex, and wasn't planning to get back with him i masturbated a lot.
tricky... since i had very little time and privacy at that monet in my life.
i had read my dads erotic literature as a kid of 13 and stummbled up 'de sade's' book. it seemd like some kind of sick man's fiction so i spent some time worrying if my dad was twisted, (finally i confessed to my mom i have been reading the books dad said were erotica and not for me before i am 16, so dont touch them plz), but my mother explained to me that de sade was fashionable and made people seem cool to know what he was about if someone mentions it in conversation at a dinner pary, and that my dad din't really like the book.
in highschool (i was 16), since i read a bit of my dad's book i felt concerned for my guy friend who said he is reading 'de sade', so i said dont do that it will twist u.
he said he was a boy and boys are coarser than girls, less gentle, and i am especially gentle, (he was my best friend) so not to worry most people especially boys can read de sade and not have nightmares.
so back to me being broken up with my first bf and horny and broken hearted but with no desire to sleep wt him again or try and date other men...i was, like i said always looking for some privacy and peace to masturbate in, since i was very busy studying at uni, working a job to put myself thru uni and my family was on me like bees on honey trying to be there for me coz i had a painful break up recently.
one night i was sleeping at my aunts, and i found my dads erotic books that she borowwed for her and uncle i guess, so i planned to take one to bed with me that night. by the time i was back only de sade was there she mustve took other books for herself and uncle...so i thought great let's see what this de sade was all about, since as a kid i read one page literally thought it was sick and dropped it.
so i read a bit of it it seemd somehow omnious in a way, like a really bad like some kind of a bad force was covering it spiritually, but i manged to get of at some paraghraph about anal sex....it was kinda wierd for me coz i broke up my relationship ovr my bf really wanting anal, and me not being able to conquer my aversion to it, but for a moment i thought maybe he shouldve jsut been patient, and not cheat on me to punish me for being a prude and we'd get thru it and start having sweet dirty anal in no time.
(i dont think anal is dirty spiritually, only coz there is a possibility for a little poop to come out)
anyway i read on and found this really bad part where they took this young girl virginity in an orgy and put an octopus on her face to bite her, and i'm not sure if i remembr corectly now but maybe they killed her.
i realized this de sade was a sick wanker and cursed my auntie she had took all the other books, but was glad she sint like this one and that was it.
i got marreid to a guy that is a sociopath and when i marreid him i thouight he was a very sweet guy, possibly bysexual but offended by his bi nature so opted for women, and had no problem to have sex with me, he never had any trouble starting the sex, he did have problems finishing.
he could have sex for 10 hours and he cldnt have an orgasam.i encouriged him to tell me why this was so and discovered our sex wasnt extreme enough for him, hed want to slap me around a bit, call me names, and humiliate me and only this wld get him off strong enough to have an orgasam.
but before i realized this i enouriged him to masturbate, we'd have sex till ipd have a climax and id enourige him to masturbate with my hel and have one too, coz i thought he was jsut more used to masturbating then sex wioth a woman he lied to me he wasnt very experienced.
he also planeted de sade book in his library, and when i found it i wasnt startled coz he had like tonnes of books literalyl, alls orts of books, and i assumed he got it in an attempt to be cool, like ma dad, and didnt like it.
but i asked him about it, he said he was sorry if he scared me he got it as a present from someone who thought it be cool inn a creepy way to give him that and he enever read it, coz it's not his cup of tea.
but as our sexual encounters progressed, i realized that my husband wasn't a vrigin before he marreid me like he said, or bisexual like he said he might be, he had a sadictic disorder.
it showed in his personality and interactions with me and other people, and it started to come up in bed.
he didn't try to force me to do anything i considered sick past the point of megetting scared and starting to cry.
bt he did make me scared and we'd stop the sex and he'd fall asleep like there was bothing wrong with me i was jsut very boring, in bed.
he started complainig about how i dint know how to give felatio or anything.
this i enver heard from my other lovers i always got positive feedback that i was an amazing lover...
so long sotry short i found out my husband was a sick men and left him...
which means he planted the de sade book there to try and get me to read it.
my quation is, if i got off once at something friom de sades book which was pretty much only first time anal sex, nothing rough or degrading, and later on wasn't at all interested in reading it when i found it in my husband's library, does it mean i shouldn't bee concerend and that i am not into like BDSM and degrading, humiliating types of sex??
please gove your honest input, i have been abused a lot sexually in my life, sometimes i am afraid that will break my spirit and make me one of those sad people that enjoy being humiliated in bed, and degraded, or even worse that it can make me intoi a person that enjoys treating others that way.
thank you for your input.
my other quatuion is, did i go in the other direction too much, am i too boring in bed, basically am i overreacting to sex in a way, coz because of my history of abuse i was always very careful what kind of porn i read or watch, and what kind of men i sleep with, but since my curious anture and liberal upbringing taught me it's ok to carefully investigate ur sexuality and sexuality i wld end up seeing some hidious stuff, like that de sade book stuff, or i once stumbled up a porn movie that was taped over a snuff movie, so after the movie ended this other movie started and it was basically some grown women abusing a little girl of 14 maybe 15...it was hard to tell at firt but after about a minute its obvious that it was a kid and it wasnt role play....i stopped the movie right away and seriously considered not eve watching porn for a while but then i relized that obviously not all people that watch porn like snuff too, someone in the video store did tape over the bad film, they just didn't realize the normal movie was shorter than sick one and that there will be a bit of the sick movie left after all.
anyway, am i too sensitive, or is there something wrong with me that i wld enver read de sade or 50 shades, is it coz i was abused, and am inhibited now, or do all healthy people dislike these books?