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REPORT ABUSIVE REPLY
Message Subject My wife is reading 50 Shades of Gray. Your thoughts...
Poster Handle eve
Post Content
it was still scary, very disrepsceful and hurtful, and nother me nor my bf like id very much.

he enver did it before that or after, but i am afraid it will hapen again, enxt time he misunderstands me, and quite honestly it messed me up greatly more than any kind of abuse or hardship i ever experienced in my life.

the thing that makes me think im not well anymore is exactly the fact that i love him.
even after he id that i love him.
 Quoting: eve 27803051

maybe you just have a lot of love? some people have a seemingly infinite compassion and patience, a very strong resolve.

maybe it wasnt as bad as i think it was.
 Quoting: eve 27803051

it probably was really bad for you; you said it above.

i knew he had to be mad and obviously that made him not careful about his penis and frankly it was starting to hrt a bit, but i was determined to stick it out, coz he obviously had this ened to man handle me and get it out of his system
again, he wasnt abusive
 Quoting: eve 27803051

anger and agression should never be mixed with passion. he was able to physically ventilate his frustration on you. think about it. that is abusive.

he was 26 at the time and he was manipulated by people older than him and less passionate but more calculated, into thinking that he isnt aplha enough with me and thats why i cheated.
 Quoting: eve 27803051

he's insecure. that usually leads to frustration. he should grow up :)

do u still think i should leave him?
 Quoting: eve 27803051

i can't answer that. but you can help him becoming a better-balanced person. but don't loose yourself in it: people should always sort themselves out - it's the only way.

but honestly i'm far from the best person to give you advice on relationships ;)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15782258


yes u r right, it was absolutley terrifying for me, and u r right anger and agression are not to be mixed with passion.

the thing is i told u what he di but i told u out of context.

i am not defending what he did but he was pushed to outer limits.

this was all a year ago when we first met, and we were only sarting to get to know each other.
i came to his country to seek asylium, and had some really nasty people after me.

he dint know this. i felt really guilty for bringing him into my life, coz if they find me he will get hurt too.

i was conflicted.so i tried breaking up with him, but he wldn't let me break up until i explain why ann why do i act so strange at times when he can see that i love him and all.

i cldnt explain i thought hed resent the fact that i moved in with him and i knew there were people from nasty criminal organisations after me.

so i jsut said i don't love u, i don't want this anymore and thats it.

also at the time i thought thia man that was hangin around us a lot, was maybe someone from the mafia that was after me....i know crazy, but if u have some mean SOB after u u get paranoid....

if this guy assumed i ,oved my bf he wld catch him to blakemail me...thse people need me to tell them something only i know, but i wouldnt...

i have nobody else in this world they cld use aginst me, but if they caught abdul, tha is his name i wld tell them everything, anything they want i wld kill a bunny, i wld kill a baby....i am afraid of the things i wld do if he ever got into their hands...

so i had this huge fight with him in front of this guy, in the loundry room, and said i fucked hi best freind coz he was lame in bed, and i needed more of a man...
i know it sounds insane now to me to, but at the time i was jsut desperate to show to this man i didnt really like my bf or love him and they cldnt use him against me at all...

my bf did not know me very well, all he knew was i wasnt saying much about my life, and i was sudenly acting like i enjoyed humiliating him and hurting him....


i am not saying it was ok that after my bf was lead to believe i was a major bitch and very promiscuous that he dealth with it by trying to shagg me into submission....

believe me i am the first to know that u dont have the right to hurt someone, no matter what....
and if u think ur gf is a bitch, leave her...
and if u dsagree with sleeping around, jsut dont date someone who does it...dont fall in love with someone who sleeps around and then try to change them and beat them if they dont want to change....

belive me i know all this and i am not justifying what he did...

but he really was hurting and he confided in his best friend, who is a reallly diosgusting person he proceded to chalange my bfs manhood to tell him he was not man enough, that i was making a fool out of him....

I KNOW of abdul was mature enough he wldnt listen to this idiots words, but we are not always matture enough, not me, not u, not anyone...

maybe i do have a lot of love, and maybe that is a good thing but maybe it's a bad thing....(if i stay with him and he does it again it will be proof that too much love is a bad thing)
still, i am so not ready to forget about him...


i cant imagine being intimate with any other man...

i cant imagine my life without him in it...

and he is stubborn...he wont be freinds with me.....
well maybe he is a realist...we cant be freinds....we cant keep our hands off of each other...

in a scenario where id have a bf and hed have a gf....it woudnt be fair to those ppl.....coz im not sure i cld ever be alone with him and not kiss his neck...

i tried breaking up and being freinds, and hugged him goodbye after i met him in the library and had a chat....

i neded up kissing his neck as i kissed him, which i dont do with my other f reinds, lol...

so basically we have spent a year in this limbo where we arent lovers or freinds, we dont live together anymore....

people that were after me are caught, i cld be with him now, hed be safe, but can we ever overcome all the things we have done to each other...

ive done some bad things too, i punched him in the face once....

aw yes, my bf isnt an abusive man, coz i punched him in the face and he dint beat me up, i think that shows he isnt the kind of man to loses temper and beat up a girl...

so the bad sex he did was not an attempt tpo abuse me it was just one really dificult time in our lives when his pride got the best of him and he did something bad that he regrets....

please do give your input....the fact that u know how u arent perfect urself only means u are the right person to ask for advice.

THANK U
 
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