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Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman

 
Vinyard
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User ID: 28009359
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11/18/2012 03:48 PM
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Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman
Hello!

There's this girl, a woman actually, who I can't get out of my head. She's pretty, funny, smart and has a cocky attitude, but not the annoying cocky attitude, the charming cocky attitude. This woman is 6 - 7 years older than me (I'm 20) but I feel she belongs to me. It feels like she's my soulmate and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. But the problem is this, she's the sister of my brother's wife. It just feels... wrong. Imagine a doubledate where the men are brothers and the women are sisters. It just sounds wierd.
I really like this woman and I'm starting to believe that she likes me as well. I have caught her looking at me a few times and I can tell she's really interested in me and wants to know me a little better. Maybe she was just looking at my big ears or my big nose wondering why in the hell they're so big. I hope it's not the latter. Even though I'm only 20 years and have a lot to learn but I really want to be with this woman, I truly want to marry her!

I'm no bum and she knows it. I worked an entire year at a factory after I graduated from high school and managed to save enough money to buy a real good looking car. After I worked at the factory I decided it was time to study because, well... working at a factory sucks even though I made 18 dollars an hour not counting the nightshifts which added a couple more bucks. So now I study criminology at the university in the same city where she lives. I want this woman! She knows that I have a good future ahead of me and she knows how kind and sweet I can be. She's a really tough chick and I just love that! She's the perfect match for me. She's really beautiful as well. How do I approach this woman?

Last Edited by Marlo Stanfield on 11/18/2012 03:50 PM
Anonymous Coward
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11/18/2012 03:53 PM
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Re: Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman
Since she is your brother's sister in law, you'll probably be at the same thanksgiving celebration.
If not, have your brother arrange it.
Then after dinner, ask her to go for a walk with you.
Then get married.
Anonymous Coward
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11/18/2012 03:54 PM
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Re: Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman
sounds like you might want to practice on other women first,

I say this because you need to just be real with them, joke - treat them like a friend, but keep the sexual tension up if you can, touching, jokes to get smiles - where you both smile and make eye contact and that twinkle in the eye is MUTUAL, doing things together where both are engaged, hinting to future fun and giving her reason to keep you in her thoughts.

I say you should practice with other women because it sounds like you really dig this girl and don't want to fuck things up.

Girls are hard to understand, you can't totally be yourself when trying to swoon them - though at the same time, you can't be a fake either.

Hell, OP.. I have no advice for you. Good luck!
Anonymous Coward
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11/18/2012 03:54 PM
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Re: Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman
talk to her casually, and make sure she sees you talking to other women. act cocky a bit around her and tease her. this works every time on every woman alive.
Anonymous Coward
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11/18/2012 03:57 PM
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Re: Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman
sounds like you might want to practice on other women first,

I say this because you need to just be real with them, joke - treat them like a friend, but keep the sexual tension up if you can, touching, jokes to get smiles - where you both smile and make eye contact and that twinkle in the eye is MUTUAL, doing things together where both are engaged, hinting to future fun and giving her reason to keep you in her thoughts.

I say you should practice with other women because it sounds like you really dig this girl and don't want to fuck things up.

Girls are hard to understand, you can't totally be yourself when trying to swoon them - though at the same time, you can't be a fake either.

Hell, OP.. I have no advice for you. Good luck!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22604218



Indeed. Get a practice woman.
Golu hbk

User ID: 28016003
India
11/18/2012 04:00 PM
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Re: Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman
Approaching woman?

Try googling for neil strauss or stylelife academy.

It will change your life
Vinyard (OP)

User ID: 28009359
Sweden
11/18/2012 04:05 PM
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Re: Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman
Good advice all, thanks!
Vinyard (OP)

User ID: 28009359
Sweden
11/18/2012 04:10 PM
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Re: Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman
Since she is your brother's sister in law, you'll probably be at the same thanksgiving celebration.
If not, have your brother arrange it.
Then after dinner, ask her to go for a walk with you.
Then get married.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28006209


Marriage... that is happening. I will never give up on this chick! Or maybe I will, I have pretty bad self-esteem. Women find that unattractive. I must get rid of my insecurity before I "make a move". But she will be my future wife, count on it!

Last Edited by Marlo Stanfield on 11/18/2012 04:11 PM
Lada D

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11/18/2012 04:13 PM
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Re: Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman
My Grandfather's two sisters married two brothers.

I don't think this is an uncommon thing.

Don't let that stop you.

If you're going to worry about anything, worry about the age difference. It'll come in to play eventually.
Anonymous Coward
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11/18/2012 04:15 PM
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Re: Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman
sounds like you might want to practice on other women first,

I say this because you need to just be real with them, joke - treat them like a friend, but keep the sexual tension up if you can, touching, jokes to get smiles - where you both smile and make eye contact and that twinkle in the eye is MUTUAL, doing things together where both are engaged, hinting to future fun and giving her reason to keep you in her thoughts.

I say you should practice with other women because it sounds like you really dig this girl and don't want to fuck things up.

Girls are hard to understand, you can't totally be yourself when trying to swoon them - though at the same time, you can't be a fake either.

Hell, OP.. I have no advice for you. Good luck!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22604218



Indeed. Get a practice woman.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17119454



Yes. The waterproof type that inflates.

.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 331367
Austria
11/18/2012 04:16 PM
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Re: Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman
Marriage ??

OMG .. RUN you fool.

It is your DNA having found another DNA carrier emitting pheromones fitting.

Nothing more.

And there is a high chance at least 10% of all female population will fit too.

That is ap. 300 million to chose from that you will actually really like (your hormon system will say so) and you can still do 80% of the rest while you will 10% of all women disgusting (your hormones will)


People .. grow up and do not act like hormone powered robots .. or you will eff up your live.
Vinyard (OP)

User ID: 28009359
Sweden
11/18/2012 04:25 PM
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Re: Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman
Marriage ??

OMG .. RUN you fool.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 331367


So you're suggesting that I should die alone? That's a horrible way of living. I rather find the perfect woman to marry, a woman who I can trust with my life and a woman I can rely on and be there for whenever she needs it.
Anonymous Coward
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Austria
11/18/2012 04:25 PM
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Re: Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman
Marriage ??

OMG .. RUN you fool.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 331367


So you're suggesting that I should die alone? That's a horrible way of living. I rather find the perfect woman to marry, a woman who I can trust with my life and a woman I can rely on and be there for whenever she needs it.
 Quoting: Vinyard


You WILL die alone... anyway.

Get it ?
Vinyard (OP)

User ID: 28009359
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11/18/2012 04:31 PM
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Re: Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman
Marriage ??

OMG .. RUN you fool.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 331367


So you're suggesting that I should die alone? That's a horrible way of living. I rather find the perfect woman to marry, a woman who I can trust with my life and a woman I can rely on and be there for whenever she needs it.
 Quoting: Vinyard


You WILL die alone... anyway.

Get it ?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 331367


Nah, I will die in the hands of the woman of my dreams banana2
Lisa*Lisa

User ID: 1106916
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11/18/2012 04:34 PM

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Re: Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman
Invite her for a cup of coffee........see what she says.

Or, have a family barbeque and invite her too.

hf
Have You Accepted Jesus As Your Savior Yet? What Are You Waiting For? Do you have questions about God or need someone to talk to? Email me at Lisalovesjesus7@gmail.com

____________________________


"Te​ll them, I love them" - Jesus Christ

"If love were a tree, compassion would be its fruit." - unknown
____________________________

A dear friend's website [link to www.savemenowjesus.com]

_____________________________

2 Corinthians 12:9 - "Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me."

_________________________

One of the greatest things you can do for God is to show love to His other kids.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 20809139
United Kingdom
11/18/2012 04:37 PM
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Re: Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman
sorry, God says no
Garman906

User ID: 27698751
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11/18/2012 04:47 PM

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Re: Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman
Ignore her.

Chicks dig that.
The earth belongs to the animals. We were put here to look after them.
Anonymous Coward
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11/18/2012 04:55 PM
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Re: Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman
Whatever you do, don't start talking marriage.
Vinyard (OP)

User ID: 28009359
Sweden
11/18/2012 05:29 PM
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Re: Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman
sorry, God says no
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 20809139


I'm not looking for a relationship based on sex if that's what you mean. Sex can wait until marriage and she's a very open minded person. She will understand. She's not the type of lady who's unfaithful and sleeps around. She's been married before but the marriage ended because her ex turned out to be a homosexual, lol. He told her this only months after the marriage. Really good job there a-hole! And she also has cancer although it can be treated with fairly good results. She's going through a lot in her life right now and it seems like she has no one else but her family to support her. I want to be there for her you know? She's a very special lady! hearts

Last Edited by Marlo Stanfield on 11/18/2012 05:32 PM
Anonymous Coward
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Australia
11/18/2012 05:35 PM
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Re: Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman
don't .

enough will approach you to ruin your life several times over.
Vinyard (OP)

User ID: 28009359
Sweden
11/18/2012 05:39 PM
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Re: Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman
Invite her for a cup of coffee........see what she says.

Or, have a family barbeque and invite her too.

hf
 Quoting: Lisa*Lisa


Hi Lisa! Good to hear from you again! hf
A barbeque might be a good idea. A few weeks ago when I was helping my brother renovating his kitchen she was also there helping out a bit. Later that day she went out to buy some food for us and asked me if I wanted to come with her. I said no... stupid me! I have no idea why the heck I said no!
Lisa*Lisa

User ID: 1106916
United States
11/18/2012 05:45 PM

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Re: Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman
Invite her for a cup of coffee........see what she says.

Or, have a family barbeque and invite her too.

hf
 Quoting: Lisa*Lisa


Hi Lisa! Good to hear from you again! hf
A barbeque might be a good idea. A few weeks ago when I was helping my brother renovating his kitchen she was also there helping out a bit. Later that day she went out to buy some food for us and asked me if I wanted to come with her. I said no... stupid me! I have no idea why the heck I said no!
 Quoting: Vinyard


That's ok, you panicked! LOL!

Have a family dinner and invite her. That way you can spend some more time with her without making it obvious.

Try and spend as much time with her as possible at the dinner, and then casually ask her if she would like to join you for coffee or a drink sometime.
Have You Accepted Jesus As Your Savior Yet? What Are You Waiting For? Do you have questions about God or need someone to talk to? Email me at Lisalovesjesus7@gmail.com

____________________________


"Te​ll them, I love them" - Jesus Christ

"If love were a tree, compassion would be its fruit." - unknown
____________________________

A dear friend's website [link to www.savemenowjesus.com]

_____________________________

2 Corinthians 12:9 - "Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me."

_________________________

One of the greatest things you can do for God is to show love to His other kids.
Vinyard (OP)

User ID: 28009359
Sweden
11/18/2012 06:21 PM
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Re: Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman
Invite her for a cup of coffee........see what she says.

Or, have a family barbeque and invite her too.

hf
 Quoting: Lisa*Lisa


Hi Lisa! Good to hear from you again! hf
A barbeque might be a good idea. A few weeks ago when I was helping my brother renovating his kitchen she was also there helping out a bit. Later that day she went out to buy some food for us and asked me if I wanted to come with her. I said no... stupid me! I have no idea why the heck I said no!
 Quoting: Vinyard


That's ok, you panicked! LOL!

Have a family dinner and invite her. That way you can spend some more time with her without making it obvious.

Try and spend as much time with her as possible at the dinner, and then casually ask her if she would like to join you for coffee or a drink sometime.
 Quoting: Lisa*Lisa


I will... eventually :) She's a very special lady and I really really like her. It's not made up feelings here, I genuinly like her. I just love that look in her eyes, that spark. Gaaah, I think I'm going crazy over her! luv
She's going through a lot in her life with her cancer. It's not the worst case of cancer but it can still be fatal. I'm praying to the Lord every day for her to be completely cured.

Last Edited by Marlo Stanfield on 11/18/2012 06:22 PM
Eagle # 1
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11/18/2012 06:37 PM
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Re: Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman
OP .... Could be she is a 'Mother figure' to you and ESPECIALLY attractive because of her self confidence AND older years, that you DON'T !

Is your Mother still alive. Have you ever 'withdrawn' from Mother love, so you can love another female ? Some of your repeated statements lead me to think you have NOT !

Look into Flax Seed Oil as a cure for her cancer. It has keep me alive from doctor diagnosed lung cancer for 20 plus years ! Besides keeping the one alive by NATURAL means, it could develop into a VERY strong bond between you both.

Eagle
Anonymous Coward
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11/18/2012 06:42 PM
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Re: Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman
OP sleeping ? Don't know how, in the land of "The midnight sun' !
Anonymous Coward
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11/18/2012 06:55 PM
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Re: Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman
bump
Anonymous Coward
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11/18/2012 07:03 PM
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Re: Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman
a family dinner is a good idea

try to get her engaged in what you're doing

ie, ask her to hold stuff for you even if it's not necessary, cut up vegetables, get stuff out of the fridge, etc

then ask her if she wants to go for a walk, or if she wants to go with you for a drive to the store to get dessert for everyone

etc
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22892874
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11/18/2012 07:30 PM
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Re: Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman
OP...couple of things

Confidence is attractive! Game playin is NOT! If you will be sincere and genuine AND she is into you..then it will work out! I have know several in the same situation who have been married for a long time. If she is into YOU then she likes you for YOU! :-) If not, she is not meant for YOU!

When I was your age, I wasn't asked out much by guys I liked...20 years later I can not tell you how many guys at my reunion said that wanted to ask me out but were too shy.

I disagree with talking to other women to make her jealous...Game playin will back fire big time.

My advice is since you need to work on you confidence..Watch the movie Hitch...over and over if you have to! Will Smith gives some excellent advice. I would bet your nose and ears are not big...you are just self conscience. I would be patient and build your confidence. Tell yourself you are good enough because YOU ARE! :-)

Spend the next several weeks talking to her...not TEXTING. Ask her questions..show her you are genuinely interested in her and getting to know her. Find out her hobbies, is there a movie she wants to see, etc and then ask her to do what you both would like to do.

Find something small but something meaningful to impress her when you ask her out. I will give you some examples. I love easter lillies, roasted marshmellows, and fuzzy warm socks. If a guy asked me simple questions and discovered this and brought them to me or took me to a bon fire..it would be very endearing because it would show her he LISTENED and cared about me.

This is where most guys miss it..you have the keys to woo her now...go get her and put a ring on it! :-)
Nrg

User ID: 498050
United States
11/18/2012 07:34 PM
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Re: Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman
I'm a guy and agree with the above poster. Be genuine .......
christian
Suited up and Armored in Christ!

User ID: 6038128
United States
11/18/2012 07:40 PM

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Re: Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman
Marriage ??

OMG .. RUN you fool.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 331367


So you're suggesting that I should die alone? That's a horrible way of living. I rather find the perfect woman to marry, a woman who I can trust with my life and a woman I can rely on and be there for whenever she needs it.
 Quoting: Vinyard


What are you basing Perfection agaisnt?

Marriage is not about Perfection

Marriage is not about making yourself happy..

Marriage is not about what it can do for you...

Marriage is about putting that other person's needs before your own

Marriage is about loving that person when they are un-loveable..

WATCH FIREPROOG..

GOOD MOVIE ON MARRIAGE..

You can watch on Youtube..


Great Message here!

[link to www.youtube.com]
Susie

If you don't stand for your faith, then you won't stand at all....
Anonymous Coward
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11/18/2012 07:45 PM
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Re: Need some advice from married people about approaching a woman
PS OP..I posted before I read the whole thread...You are a great man! Not many men would want to date someone who has been married before at your age and that she has cancer. My guess is when you said no about going with her to get some food she probably thought you were not interested.

Just remember we all have our insecurities and she may be concerned about her issues as you are yours. I try to also remember with anyone in any circumstance...they put on their pants just like me...to help keep things in perspective. :-) Please keep me posted! :)

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