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How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24512322
United States
11/18/2012 06:20 PM
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How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
I am almost 30, never have got the guy I liked. The people who like me and the ones I like never equaled out.

I felt like there was an instant click, shook me to my core. I found the term "soul connection", and all the stories dealing with it. It is spot on how I feel. I have never felt so sad and happy at the same time. I noticed he felt the same, I could see it in his eyes.

Meeting him changed my life. He made me feel good about myself, like someone could love me. He complimented me, smiled at me, and always stared at me. I never felt so intense with someone through their eyes. It brings me such sadness, knowing nothing probably will come of it.

I found out he's been in a relationship the entire time. If he felt the same, he would of probably broke it up. I never let on that I liked him. I just would stare back. I stopped talking to him, since I feel it is wrong. Am I a moron?

People with soul connections, you know how rare they are. It's real, it's something I never saw coming. I can remember to exact detail what he was wearing when I first met him. His face always lit up when he saw me. But he's with someone. Everyone sees them together says they look awkward, and she seems to be the one in control. Not that it matters...

How do I move on? I have to see him everynow and then at work. Even though we don't talk, my co workers say he still looks over at me all the time, and stares. That breaks my heart.

Everyone thinks I'm over him, but I am not. I try my best, but every guy I met doesn't measure up.

Please, I have prayed to God, my friends are all so sick of hearing about this shit. They all say SNAP OUT OF IT...so I have kept it inside for the last 2 months, and it's eating me up. My one co worker, who is an angel, who actually had a dream me and him were together walking by water, as boyfriend and girlfriend, sees how I try my best to avoid him, but I am still drawn to him like a magnet. Do I have no self control?

Be as blunt and mean in response, I need to really snap out of it.....

Thank you for listening....I feel like a crazy person....rant
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 20451055
United States
11/18/2012 06:28 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
If its meant to be it will happen in its own good time.

Also CONTINUE look for someone new who is available now ,Might be your soul mate!
Life and Love

User ID: 26735250
United States
11/18/2012 06:29 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
If the relationship is as beautiful as you say, can you enjoy it for what it is? And let go of what it is not?
We become like that to which we are devoted. Choose wisely.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26612419
Canada
11/18/2012 06:41 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
Just bad timing. But I know this: If you two are supposed to be together, nothing is going to stop it.
Why did you stop talking to him?
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 24512322
United States
11/18/2012 07:03 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
Just bad timing. But I know this: If you two are supposed to be together, nothing is going to stop it.
Why did you stop talking to him?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26612419



I stopped since he has a girlfriend. All my friends said I should stop talking to him. They are more experienced in this, so I am going by that. My mind and heart are going two different ways. But my co workers, closest to the problem, think I should have never stopped talking to him.

I can tell his still has feelings for me. I feel like it was wrong for me. And man, it was so hard. I was rude, when he tried to talk to me after I found out. I felt led on in a way, which is stupid, since nothing happened. I am just too inexperienced to deal with this. Thank you for reading my problem.

It is very bad timing, as it always has been with me.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 24512322
United States
11/18/2012 07:04 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
If the relationship is as beautiful as you say, can you enjoy it for what it is? And let go of what it is not?
 Quoting: Life and Love


Just once...just once I wanted it to be more, not just as it is. I was hoping once, I would get the guy I liked.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27972475
United States
11/18/2012 07:06 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
relax, let him make the moves
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 24512322
United States
11/18/2012 07:08 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
relax, let him make the moves
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27972475


It's been a year, I think if he was going to...he would of...as pathetic as it sounds. I can't I thought there was something...he would of done something by now. But I stopped showing signs.
Life and Love

User ID: 26735250
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11/18/2012 07:08 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
If the relationship is as beautiful as you say, can you enjoy it for what it is? And let go of what it is not?
 Quoting: Life and Love


Just once...just once I wanted it to be more, not just as it is. I was hoping once, I would get the guy I liked.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


Enjoy the "what is" and you may be pleasantly surprised at "what it becomes." In other words, stay in the game, at least for awhile.

Prayers and positive thoughts sent your way. hf
We become like that to which we are devoted. Choose wisely.
Anonymous Coward
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Canada
11/18/2012 07:10 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
Realize that this connection was simply fantasy.

Probably you are afraid of pursuing a real relationship with someone.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 24512322
United States
11/18/2012 07:15 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
If the relationship is as beautiful as you say, can you enjoy it for what it is? And let go of what it is not?
 Quoting: Life and Love


Just once...just once I wanted it to be more, not just as it is. I was hoping once, I would get the guy I liked.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


Enjoy the "what is" and you may be pleasantly surprised at "what it becomes." In other words, stay in the game, at least for awhile.

Prayers and positive thoughts sent your way. hf
 Quoting: Life and Love


Thank you for your positive message. I don't know how to get back in the game. He was a girlfriend, I don't know how to deal with that. The moment I started to be cold, he stopped talking, as I stopped talking. I didn't feel like it was right. I am so bad at social interactions.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 24512322
United States
11/18/2012 07:16 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
Realize that this connection was simply fantasy.

Probably you are afraid of pursuing a real relationship with someone.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26545977


I am terrified when it comes to this stuff. He was the closest I got to something real. He never pursued it more than looking and talking. So I just assumed he wasn't interested, but the constant looking got me confused.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1141627
Netherlands
11/18/2012 07:17 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
If the relationship is as beautiful as you say, can you enjoy it for what it is? And let go of what it is not?
 Quoting: Life and Love


Just once...just once I wanted it to be more, not just as it is. I was hoping once, I would get the guy I liked.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


Don't let fear hold you back. You should talk to him as you used to. It is not unusual for someone who is in a relationship to show feelings for someone outside the relationship. Some people just cannot live without a relationship for some reason and if he likes you, maybe he doesn't know you like him too. Its possible to like multiple people so don't act like he only can love 1 girl.
I think you should let him know. Or at least continue to talk to him and maybe you will find out eventually.
Even if he likes you a lot I am not sure he would break up with her.
Life and Love

User ID: 26735250
United States
11/18/2012 07:18 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
If the relationship is as beautiful as you say, can you enjoy it for what it is? And let go of what it is not?
 Quoting: Life and Love


Just once...just once I wanted it to be more, not just as it is. I was hoping once, I would get the guy I liked.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


Enjoy the "what is" and you may be pleasantly surprised at "what it becomes." In other words, stay in the game, at least for awhile.

Prayers and positive thoughts sent your way. hf
 Quoting: Life and Love


Thank you for your positive message. I don't know how to get back in the game. He was a girlfriend, I don't know how to deal with that. The moment I started to be cold, he stopped talking, as I stopped talking. I didn't feel like it was right. I am so bad at social interactions.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


If you can "let go" of future possibilities (which is a VERY hard thing to do, trust me!), then continue to be a friend for friendship's sake. Over the years I have done this with several people and have made life-lasting relationships that are some of the most treasured friendships I have.

Be careful that you don't cut yourself off from half the world's population "just because" of this or that.
We become like that to which we are devoted. Choose wisely.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 18432713
United States
11/18/2012 07:22 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
who says he has to only date one chick at a time? So what if he's dating somebody else? Fuck the holy hell out of him and have a good time. If it is an actual soul connection and not your over active imagination, he will leave her as soon as you tell him to.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23317110
United States
11/18/2012 07:22 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
Sloots gonna sloot.

Just suck his dick already, let him use and abuse you, and then get on searching for the next "soul connection".
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 994379
United Kingdom
11/18/2012 07:24 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
You again! You posted this shit last fucking month. You're still hung up on this guy, and you never even had a relationship with him, and now you're talking about 'soul connections'!

Move the fuck on and stop being a bunny boiler, or he might complain about your behaviour and you might lose your job, not to mention get a restraining order slapped on you.
the Quetzal

User ID: 27821321
Canada
11/18/2012 07:25 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
'the love that you withhold, is the pain that you carry, lifetime after lifetime'

I have been in a similar situation. Let your love be... express it to the world. Realize that only an ego needs love in return, true love seeks only expression.
If you are meant to be together, you will be.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 16838415
Australia
11/18/2012 07:27 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
I am almost 30, never have got the guy I liked. The people who like me and the ones I like never equaled out.

I felt like there was an instant click, shook me to my core. I found the term "soul connection", and all the stories dealing with it. It is spot on how I feel. I have never felt so sad and happy at the same time. I noticed he felt the same, I could see it in his eyes.

Meeting him changed my life. He made me feel good about myself, like someone could love me. He complimented me, smiled at me, and always stared at me. I never felt so intense with someone through their eyes. It brings me such sadness, knowing nothing probably will come of it.

I found out he's been in a relationship the entire time. If he felt the same, he would of probably broke it up. I never let on that I liked him. I just would stare back. I stopped talking to him, since I feel it is wrong. Am I a moron?

People with soul connections, you know how rare they are. It's real, it's something I never saw coming. I can remember to exact detail what he was wearing when I first met him. His face always lit up when he saw me. But he's with someone. Everyone sees them together says they look awkward, and she seems to be the one in control. Not that it matters...

How do I move on? I have to see him everynow and then at work. Even though we don't talk, my co workers say he still looks over at me all the time, and stares. That breaks my heart.

Everyone thinks I'm over him, but I am not. I try my best, but every guy I met doesn't measure up.

Please, I have prayed to God, my friends are all so sick of hearing about this shit. They all say SNAP OUT OF IT...so I have kept it inside for the last 2 months, and it's eating me up. My one co worker, who is an angel, who actually had a dream me and him were together walking by water, as boyfriend and girlfriend, sees how I try my best to avoid him, but I am still drawn to him like a magnet. Do I have no self control?

Be as blunt and mean in response, I need to really snap out of it.....

Thank you for listening....I feel like a crazy person....rant
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


A soul connection does NOT always mean ya have to make the genital connection.

A soul connection does not always mean intense chemistry either.

It could be something as simple as "Thats someone I knew long ago in another life..good to see em again"..but it does NOT mean ya have to FUCK YOUR HEART AND LIFE us by FUCKING THEM!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15235536
United States
11/18/2012 07:28 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
Duplicate, sorry.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15235536
United States
11/18/2012 07:28 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
I am almost 30, never have got the guy I liked. The people who like me and the ones I like never equaled out.

I felt like there was an instant click, shook me to my core. I found the term "soul connection", and all the stories dealing with it. It is spot on how I feel. I have never felt so sad and happy at the same time. I noticed he felt the same, I could see it in his eyes.

Meeting him changed my life. He made me feel good about myself, like someone could love me. He complimented me, smiled at me, and always stared at me. I never felt so intense with someone through their eyes. It brings me such sadness, knowing nothing probably will come of it.

I found out he's been in a relationship the entire time. If he felt the same, he would of probably broke it up. I never let on that I liked him. I just would stare back. I stopped talking to him, since I feel it is wrong. Am I a moron?

People with soul connections, you know how rare they are. It's real, it's something I never saw coming. I can remember to exact detail what he was wearing when I first met him. His face always lit up when he saw me. But he's with someone. Everyone sees them together says they look awkward, and she seems to be the one in control. Not that it matters...

How do I move on? I have to see him everynow and then at work. Even though we don't talk, my co workers say he still looks over at me all the time, and stares. That breaks my heart.

Everyone thinks I'm over him, but I am not. I try my best, but every guy I met doesn't measure up.

Please, I have prayed to God, my friends are all so sick of hearing about this shit. They all say SNAP OUT OF IT...so I have kept it inside for the last 2 months, and it's eating me up. My one co worker, who is an angel, who actually had a dream me and him were together walking by water, as boyfriend and girlfriend, sees how I try my best to avoid him, but I am still drawn to him like a magnet. Do I have no self control?

Be as blunt and mean in response, I need to really snap out of it.....

Thank you for listening....I feel like a crazy person....rant
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


Interesting story. There are times, very few times, when I can feel some kind of bond with another woman (I am a man), but always have a hard time expressing it. I think about her, but it seems like she creeps into my thoughts. I try to leave it up to God. I just think that if something was meant to be, He will bring it together. Hopefully that will happen for you.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 24512322
United States
11/18/2012 07:32 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
You again! You posted this shit last fucking month. You're still hung up on this guy, and you never even had a relationship with him, and now you're talking about 'soul connections'!

Move the fuck on and stop being a bunny boiler, or he might complain about your behaviour and you might lose your job, not to mention get a restraining order slapped on you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 994379


You think I want to feel this way? You think I want and desire to feel this way? I DON'T WANT TO! I wish I could move on, but it keeps biting me in the butt. I hate being this mopey hopeless romantic. :(
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 24512322
United States
11/18/2012 07:36 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
You again! You posted this shit last fucking month. You're still hung up on this guy, and you never even had a relationship with him, and now you're talking about 'soul connections'!

Move the fuck on and stop being a bunny boiler, or he might complain about your behaviour and you might lose your job, not to mention get a restraining order slapped on you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 994379


You think I want to feel this way? You think I want and desire to feel this way? I DON'T WANT TO! I wish I could move on, but it keeps biting me in the butt. I hate being this mopey hopeless romantic. :(
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


He can't get a restraining order against me, as I avoid him. He comes to where I work, I never go to his area, since well that's where the gf is.
N.O.S. (nli)
User ID: 27993605
Serbia
11/18/2012 07:36 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
Time will take care of all. In due time (however much it takes) you'll be laughing about this. ;)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25601325
United States
11/18/2012 07:42 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
relax, let him make the moves
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27972475


What's the reasoning behind this?

He gets to fuck both of them?

Niceeeeeeeeee.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 994379
United Kingdom
11/18/2012 07:44 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
You again! You posted this shit last fucking month. You're still hung up on this guy, and you never even had a relationship with him, and now you're talking about 'soul connections'!

Move the fuck on and stop being a bunny boiler, or he might complain about your behaviour and you might lose your job, not to mention get a restraining order slapped on you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 994379


You think I want to feel this way? You think I want and desire to feel this way? I DON'T WANT TO! I wish I could move on, but it keeps biting me in the butt. I hate being this mopey hopeless romantic. :(
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


It sounds to me as though you're infatuated with him because you can't have him. I bet, that if you actually got with him, you'd soon get very bored and dump him because the chase is over and no more challenge and excitement... happens all the time.

It sounds to me like he was a good challenge, hence the reason why you're so hung up on him now. He knows how to play women and get them obsessing over him.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 24512322
United States
11/18/2012 07:46 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
'the love that you withhold, is the pain that you carry, lifetime after lifetime'

I have been in a similar situation. Let your love be... express it to the world. Realize that only an ego needs love in return, true love seeks only expression.
If you are meant to be together, you will be.
 Quoting: the Quetzal


I've been told telling him isn't right, since he's in a relationship. That's why I withheld. If I was the other girl, I wouldn't want someone doing this. I feel like my suffering not saying anything is sadly my only right choice.
Life and Love

User ID: 26735250
United States
11/18/2012 07:46 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
You again! You posted this shit last fucking month. You're still hung up on this guy, and you never even had a relationship with him, and now you're talking about 'soul connections'!

Move the fuck on and stop being a bunny boiler, or he might complain about your behaviour and you might lose your job, not to mention get a restraining order slapped on you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 994379


You think I want to feel this way? You think I want and desire to feel this way? I DON'T WANT TO! I wish I could move on, but it keeps biting me in the butt. I hate being this mopey hopeless romantic. :(
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


It sounds to me as though you're infatuated with him because you can't have him. I bet, that if you actually got with him, you'd soon get very bored and dump him because the chase is over and no more challenge and excitement... happens all the time.

It sounds to me like he was a good challenge, hence the reason why you're so hung up on him now. He knows how to play women and get them obsessing over him.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 994379


I don't get that sense at all. The clues are in the OP's posts, especially the first one.
We become like that to which we are devoted. Choose wisely.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 24512322
United States
11/18/2012 07:50 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
You again! You posted this shit last fucking month. You're still hung up on this guy, and you never even had a relationship with him, and now you're talking about 'soul connections'!

Move the fuck on and stop being a bunny boiler, or he might complain about your behaviour and you might lose your job, not to mention get a restraining order slapped on you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 994379


You think I want to feel this way? You think I want and desire to feel this way? I DON'T WANT TO! I wish I could move on, but it keeps biting me in the butt. I hate being this mopey hopeless romantic. :(
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


It sounds to me as though you're infatuated with him because you can't have him. I bet, that if you actually got with him, you'd soon get very bored and dump him because the chase is over and no more challenge and excitement... happens all the time.

It sounds to me like he was a good challenge, hence the reason why you're so hung up on him now. He knows how to play women and get them obsessing over him.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 994379


So why does he always look at me? I really liked his sense of humor, and no one really gets mine. I feel like he understood me. He was the one to first start looking, talking, but I am trying to end it. My co workers are the ones that catch him still looking, even though I have stopped showing any signs, so I know it wasn't just one sided, right? Hell, like I would know. Thank you for your input.

I must be doing something wrong, never was lucky in love. Odds were always stacked against me.
ANHEDONIC

User ID: 26795689
United States
11/18/2012 07:50 PM

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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
Maybe you know each other from a previous lifetime... Doesn't necessarily mean you were 'lovers' but could have had some type of affiliation in a past life and this familiarity could create the seemingly unique connection that you feel towards him.

From an outsider's perspective, if he wants to pursue you in a romantic way he should break up with his GF on his own accord and not from any influence/meddling on your part. If this doesn't happen then he may not feel the same way towards you as you are feeling towards him, or he may not know what he wants or the timing is simply off and you should prepare yourself to move on. I've found any time I let my emotions get the better of me and I tried to pursue circumstances I thought were 'right', it led to heartache. It other words I let my emotions/impulses override my better sense of judgement and objectivity.

Just try and be yourself and don't have expectations as to what will come to be, and mentally prepare yourself to be able to 'move on' from these circumstances. What will be, will be. Fact is you don't need anyone else to complete you or make you feel whole but we often go through a stretch of life in which we feel that way.

hf

Last Edited by ANHEDONIC on 11/18/2012 07:53 PM

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger"
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 994379
United Kingdom
11/18/2012 07:53 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
You again! You posted this shit last fucking month. You're still hung up on this guy, and you never even had a relationship with him, and now you're talking about 'soul connections'!

Move the fuck on and stop being a bunny boiler, or he might complain about your behaviour and you might lose your job, not to mention get a restraining order slapped on you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 994379


You think I want to feel this way? You think I want and desire to feel this way? I DON'T WANT TO! I wish I could move on, but it keeps biting me in the butt. I hate being this mopey hopeless romantic. :(
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


It sounds to me as though you're infatuated with him because you can't have him. I bet, that if you actually got with him, you'd soon get very bored and dump him because the chase is over and no more challenge and excitement... happens all the time.

It sounds to me like he was a good challenge, hence the reason why you're so hung up on him now. He knows how to play women and get them obsessing over him.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 994379


I don't get that sense at all. The clues are in the OP's posts, especially the first one.
 Quoting: Life and Love


Women and their hair trigger emotions... so easy to manipulate. This guy knows it and gets off on it. Toughen up OP, or you'll keep getting manipulated and taken advantage of by predatory narcissistic men.

See this as a lesson to learn from.

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