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How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)

 
Anonymous Coward
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11/22/2012 10:18 AM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
Time my friend...time.
Life and Love

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11/22/2012 10:22 AM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
Thank you...beautifully written. Hope you are having a wonderful thanksgiving. I know I have lots to be thankful for, but I guess I want most what I can't have.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


Don't we all? :)

Yes, we are all incredibly blessed and have much for which we can give thanks.

I was reading the prologue of a new book just now, and it was reminding me of how we are all surrounded by extraordinary things that we seldom take notice of.

The last lines are what got my attention: You are unique. You will be you. Precious, beautiful, glorious you.

May we all live into that precious, beautiful, glorious person we are.

There is a particular beauty of a lone tiger lily, defying the road and the pavement and the grooming, bursting forth with its brilliant glowing orange face in the middle of the night when no one is watching. We live in a world where we are surrounded by extraordinary things. And yet, strangely and often, we go about our days and never notice them. We take them for granted. We don?t even realize or acknowledge the complexity or the miracle of one human soul.

We connect with one another in a variety of ways and are carefully guarded with almost everyone we meet. In the midst of our own busyness and sometimes disillusionment, we often miss the fact that the others in our world have their own stories. Have their own pain. And have their own power.

We have been taught to compete and to win, always at the cost of someone else?usually in spite of that cost. If there are spiritual gifts to be had, we shove our way to the front of the line, hoping we will get a grasp of the most desirable of those gifts. If someone we know or even love has discovered their gift, we find it difficult to allow them to explore it and to embrace it, often wishing it was our own.

And yet we have missed the fact that we are all gifted in infinite ways, each of us a unique and irreplaceable fingerprint of the Maker, with its twisting and turning and mixing of talent. Rather than gazing out at our brothers and sisters and wondering about what we do not have, we?d be better served to look to Him and ask Him to show us His mirror. Often that mirror will look a whole lot like His face, beaming proudly at His daughter or son.

There are those walking among us who have the particular gift of sight. They can see things of the spirit more clearly than most, and they can hear the voice of the Maker without great effort. Often this gift comes with a great cost, and that cost will be as unique as the one who carries the gift. So many times, the gift bearer will deny their gift, or apologize for it, or keep it to themselves.

Every now and then, though, they see what they have. They see it is real and that it could quite possibly ignite the fire that has been all but stifled in those beautiful ones by whom they are surrounded.

This story is about Grace, and she is a Seer. I hope, by sharing her story, you will begin to catch a glimpse of just how precious you are, and how furiously you are loved. And perhaps you too will begin to broaden the scope of your vision. Embrace the unknown, casting yourself upon the Creator and all He has designed for you. You will not look like Grace or like anyone else you have ever known. You are unique. You will be you. Precious, beautiful, glorious you.
 Quoting: Prologue from A Girl Named Grace

We become like that to which we are devoted. Choose wisely.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/22/2012 11:10 AM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
Thank you...beautifully written. Hope you are having a wonderful thanksgiving. I know I have lots to be thankful for, but I guess I want most what I can't have.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


Don't we all? :)

Yes, we are all incredibly blessed and have much for which we can give thanks.

I was reading the prologue of a new book just now, and it was reminding me of how we are all surrounded by extraordinary things that we seldom take notice of.

The last lines are what got my attention: You are unique. You will be you. Precious, beautiful, glorious you.

May we all live into that precious, beautiful, glorious person we are.

There is a particular beauty of a lone tiger lily, defying the road and the pavement and the grooming, bursting forth with its brilliant glowing orange face in the middle of the night when no one is watching. We live in a world where we are surrounded by extraordinary things. And yet, strangely and often, we go about our days and never notice them. We take them for granted. We don?t even realize or acknowledge the complexity or the miracle of one human soul.

We connect with one another in a variety of ways and are carefully guarded with almost everyone we meet. In the midst of our own busyness and sometimes disillusionment, we often miss the fact that the others in our world have their own stories. Have their own pain. And have their own power.

We have been taught to compete and to win, always at the cost of someone else?usually in spite of that cost. If there are spiritual gifts to be had, we shove our way to the front of the line, hoping we will get a grasp of the most desirable of those gifts. If someone we know or even love has discovered their gift, we find it difficult to allow them to explore it and to embrace it, often wishing it was our own.

And yet we have missed the fact that we are all gifted in infinite ways, each of us a unique and irreplaceable fingerprint of the Maker, with its twisting and turning and mixing of talent. Rather than gazing out at our brothers and sisters and wondering about what we do not have, we?d be better served to look to Him and ask Him to show us His mirror. Often that mirror will look a whole lot like His face, beaming proudly at His daughter or son.

There are those walking among us who have the particular gift of sight. They can see things of the spirit more clearly than most, and they can hear the voice of the Maker without great effort. Often this gift comes with a great cost, and that cost will be as unique as the one who carries the gift. So many times, the gift bearer will deny their gift, or apologize for it, or keep it to themselves.

Every now and then, though, they see what they have. They see it is real and that it could quite possibly ignite the fire that has been all but stifled in those beautiful ones by whom they are surrounded.

This story is about Grace, and she is a Seer. I hope, by sharing her story, you will begin to catch a glimpse of just how precious you are, and how furiously you are loved. And perhaps you too will begin to broaden the scope of your vision. Embrace the unknown, casting yourself upon the Creator and all He has designed for you. You will not look like Grace or like anyone else you have ever known. You are unique. You will be you. Precious, beautiful, glorious you.
 Quoting: Prologue from A Girl Named Grace

 Quoting: Life and Love


Thank you yet again....my own friends can't even listen to what I type, and here, you are settling my lonely heart with no problem.

I truly appreciate it. I just wish I could move on...I was almost to a point of moving on, but then I fell, and I posted this thread. Most people don't post when they have heart ache on GLP, but I have no idea where else to go without going insane.

That bold statement really defines what I went through. I did things since meeting him I never thought I would. He motivated me.
Life and Love

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11/22/2012 11:29 AM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
Thank you yet again....my own friends can't even listen to what I type, and here, you are settling my lonely heart with no problem.

I truly appreciate it. I just wish I could move on...I was almost to a point of moving on, but then I fell, and I posted this thread. Most people don't post when they have heart ache on GLP, but I have no idea where else to go without going insane.

That bold statement really defines what I went through. I did things since meeting him I never thought I would. He motivated me.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


It sounds as if his presence opened up your heart in ways it had never been opened before. (That's one of the themes in the "Heart to Heart" poem I posted earlier.) If that's so, you have received a wonderful, precious gift.

And so now your heart is feeling bruised, and the temptation is to close up tight again so that it will heal. Maybe my presence is part of a means of helping you keep that heart open, even in the midst of sorrow, for it is only with an open heart that we are truly "fully alive."

"Moving on" is something that cannot be forced. It's a different situation, but when my father died the best advice I was ever given was not to so quickly "move on" but to lean into my sadness and embrace it. It was something to live through, not avoid.

One day it will be time to "move on." You will know when that is, and it will seem like a natural thing. In the mean time, maybe there are more lessons to learn and insight to receive.
We become like that to which we are devoted. Choose wisely.
andreidita

User ID: 4637432
Romania
11/22/2012 02:49 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
I was just praying it would be more, just once. I do feel crazy amounts of care and love for him. It is very hard to deal with. It's like an obsession. I feel crazy.

Thank you for your words. I didn't realize feeling this intense could lead to just nothing. I was expecting it to mean something.

I just feel such a pit in my stomach. The hopeless romantic in me thinks there's still a chance, but I am just wasting my time. I need to be stronger, and just leave it be. He's a taken man, that's the final answer.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


it is more, but not necessarily in the way you desire it to be.
the pit that you feel in your stomach has to do with your instinctual emotional center bleeding after you opened and connected with him, and when you found out he has a relation, the connection was broken.

this is a different center than that of the heart (in the center of the chest)

the heart connects with myriads thin threads to other hearts, nature etc

the instinctual emotional center (solar plexus, stomach, umbilical cord) is more like a big tube which connects you to an other being, and allows for exchange of emotional energy. It is not an universal inclusive center, but a separative exclusive one ('the two connected against the world'). the life relationship between a dog and his master is at that level, the relation between a mother and her child the same.

this is not a 'bad' connection, just that the point of being human is to be centered in the heart center, where soul connections happen. and after you are consciously grounded there you can have also the other lower connections, if it is needed

if you get carried away by the magic of that connection, and you establish also the connection below, in case it breaks you will bleed energetically for a time and you will suffer.

but this does not mean that it was not a soul connection. just that soul connections are eternal and thus outside of time, the instinctual ones needing physical presence in some way or another (emotional, sexual, relationship)

hope it helps. i know what you've been through. it is part of the human experience.
the point is to understand that what you experienced was more like a 'revelation' bestowed upon you two by spirit. you did not created, you witnessed it. it was a gift, to show you how beautiful a connection between 2 humans can be.
keep that memory alive in your heart, and open up more to the world, and it will happen again.

Last Edited by andreidita on 11/22/2012 02:52 PM
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/22/2012 10:15 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
Thank you yet again....my own friends can't even listen to what I type, and here, you are settling my lonely heart with no problem.

I truly appreciate it. I just wish I could move on...I was almost to a point of moving on, but then I fell, and I posted this thread. Most people don't post when they have heart ache on GLP, but I have no idea where else to go without going insane.

That bold statement really defines what I went through. I did things since meeting him I never thought I would. He motivated me.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


It sounds as if his presence opened up your heart in ways it had never been opened before. (That's one of the themes in the "Heart to Heart" poem I posted earlier.) If that's so, you have received a wonderful, precious gift.

And so now your heart is feeling bruised, and the temptation is to close up tight again so that it will heal. Maybe my presence is part of a means of helping you keep that heart open, even in the midst of sorrow, for it is only with an open heart that we are truly "fully alive."

"Moving on" is something that cannot be forced. It's a different situation, but when my father died the best advice I was ever given was not to so quickly "move on" but to lean into my sadness and embrace it. It was something to live through, not avoid.

One day it will be time to "move on." You will know when that is, and it will seem like a natural thing. In the mean time, maybe there are more lessons to learn and insight to receive.
 Quoting: Life and Love


It's been two months since I found out he had a gf. I should just avoid him? He still looks at me, and I know it's just looking. I was mean, and when he tried to talk to me when I knew he had a gf, I just walked away. I felt led on, even though I wasn't really. I don't feel like it's right, since it was so weird and intense.

Your words are helping. I know most people will just think he's a bad guy, there was nothing between us. To be honest, I don't tell others how intense it is, other than my mom. That's why I came to GLP over it, since it's a lot to take in. I feel like no one would believe me. And to see it in his eyes...I have the horrible "what if's". The connection is so different and unexpected, hit me like a ton of bricks. I just wish it meant something other than just this. I hate to still think about him 20 years from now, and I see myself doing just that.

I know I can't close my heart, but I have.

Thanks for being my therapist. :) I understand embracing the sadness, it's sticking to me like a bad cold. I thought I could just ignore him, and everything would just work out. It's not....
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/22/2012 10:17 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
I was just praying it would be more, just once. I do feel crazy amounts of care and love for him. It is very hard to deal with. It's like an obsession. I feel crazy.

Thank you for your words. I didn't realize feeling this intense could lead to just nothing. I was expecting it to mean something.

I just feel such a pit in my stomach. The hopeless romantic in me thinks there's still a chance, but I am just wasting my time. I need to be stronger, and just leave it be. He's a taken man, that's the final answer.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


it is more, but not necessarily in the way you desire it to be.
the pit that you feel in your stomach has to do with your instinctual emotional center bleeding after you opened and connected with him, and when you found out he has a relation, the connection was broken.

this is a different center than that of the heart (in the center of the chest)

the heart connects with myriads thin threads to other hearts, nature etc

the instinctual emotional center (solar plexus, stomach, umbilical cord) is more like a big tube which connects you to an other being, and allows for exchange of emotional energy. It is not an universal inclusive center, but a separative exclusive one ('the two connected against the world'). the life relationship between a dog and his master is at that level, the relation between a mother and her child the same.

this is not a 'bad' connection, just that the point of being human is to be centered in the heart center, where soul connections happen. and after you are consciously grounded there you can have also the other lower connections, if it is needed

if you get carried away by the magic of that connection, and you establish also the connection below, in case it breaks you will bleed energetically for a time and you will suffer.

but this does not mean that it was not a soul connection. just that soul connections are eternal and thus outside of time, the instinctual ones needing physical presence in some way or another (emotional, sexual, relationship)

hope it helps. i know what you've been through. it is part of the human experience.
the point is to understand that what you experienced was more like a 'revelation' bestowed upon you two by spirit. you did not created, you witnessed it. it was a gift, to show you how beautiful a connection between 2 humans can be.
keep that memory alive in your heart, and open up more to the world, and it will happen again.
 Quoting: andreidita


So will ignoring him make it go away? I feel like he's still drawn to me, even though I try my best to avoid him. Maybe I am feeling it, and he isn't. Should I ever approach him about it?

What your saying is very interesting. I just never felt this way before, I just assumed I will never. I am so impatient....lol.
andreidita

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11/23/2012 02:49 AM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
So will ignoring him make it go away? I feel like he's still drawn to me, even though I try my best to avoid him. Maybe I am feeling it, and he isn't. Should I ever approach him about it?

What your saying is very interesting. I just never felt this way before, I just assumed I will never. I am so impatient....lol.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


"When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love."

[link to www.katsandogz.com]

ask yourself inside your heart.
would you prefer to not have experienced that bliss, so that you would not feel the pain afterwards?

Last Edited by andreidita on 11/23/2012 02:50 AM
Kick Ass
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11/23/2012 02:59 AM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
Realize that this connection was simply fantasy.

Probably you are afraid of pursuing a real relationship with someone.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26545977


I am terrified when it comes to this stuff. He was the closest I got to something real. He never pursued it more than looking and talking. So I just assumed he wasn't interested, but the constant looking got me confused.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


You said that you just stared.

That did not help you much.

He prob thinks you are very nice, but that you are not interested.
Kick Ass
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11/23/2012 03:00 AM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
Should I ever approach him about it?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


Yes, women should be more forward, it would make the world a better place.

Tell him, and you will be free either way.
Shiva Nataraja

User ID: 19141275
United Kingdom
11/23/2012 03:26 AM

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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
I get this all the time! Women that Are attracted to me tend to be in unhappy relationships and are reaching out to be rescued. Sadly, for me, I am not demonstrative enough and quickly fall into the 'best friend zone'. There I stay, giving them what they are not getting at home. Love and adoration. Then when they've had their fill they tend to find that they are happier at home again and I am left with nothing.
Far from this being their fault I have to accept that I am afraid of making choices from people that are available to me and therefore am actually happier in a fantasy where everything is perfect, (if only it were real!)
My latest has gone on for nearly 2 years. She's engaged to a guy she doesn't like. Her kids are unhappy and her family are telling her all the time that she should get out... After having coffee with her a couple of times, she's more determined than ever to, 'make it work'.
Oh joy! Eventually I will have to be the true romantic and say goodbye forever but I can squeeze a couple of months of misery into this one over Christmas before I'm done. Glorious pain, see how I suffer for love!!!! Bollocks. :(

headbang

Last Edited by Shiva Nataraja on 11/23/2012 03:45 AM
Dance, it's your birthright. X
Kick Ass
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11/23/2012 03:38 AM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
I get this all the time! Women that Are attracted to me tend to be in unhappy relationships and are reaching out to be rescued. Sadly, for me, I am not demonstrative enough and quickly fall into the 'best friend zone'. There I stay, giving them what they are not getting at home. Love and adoration. Then when they've had their fill they tend to find that they are happier at home again and I am left with nothing.
Far from this being their fault I have to accept that I am afraid of making choices from people that are available to me and therefore am actually happier in a fantasy where everything is perfect, (if only it were real!)
My latest has gone on for nearly 2 years. She's engaged to a guy she doesn't like. Her kids are unhappy and her family are telling her all the time that she should get out... After having coffee with her a couple of times, she's more determined than ever to, 'make it work'.
Oh joy! Eventually I will have to be the true romantic and say goodbye forever but I can squeeze a couple of months of misery into this one over Christmas before I'm done. Glorious pain, see how I suffer for love!!!! Bollocks. :(:headbang:
 Quoting: Shiva Nataraja


Sadly women want you to be their knight in shining armor, but you do not want to be that guy.

Better for you dude to cut them off completely until you are ready to reach out to someone.
Shiva Nataraja

User ID: 19141275
United Kingdom
11/23/2012 03:51 AM

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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
I get this all the time! Women that Are attracted to me tend to be in unhappy relationships and are reaching out to be rescued. Sadly, for me, I am not demonstrative enough and quickly fall into the 'best friend zone'. There I stay, giving them what they are not getting at home. Love and adoration. Then when they've had their fill they tend to find that they are happier at home again and I am left with nothing.
Far from this being their fault I have to accept that I am afraid of making choices from people that are available to me and therefore am actually happier in a fantasy where everything is perfect, (if only it were real!)
My latest has gone on for nearly 2 years. She's engaged to a guy she doesn't like. Her kids are unhappy and her family are telling her all the time that she should get out... After having coffee with her a couple of times, she's more determined than ever to, 'make it work'.
Oh joy! Eventually I will have to be the true romantic and say goodbye forever but I can squeeze a couple of months of misery into this one over Christmas before I'm done. Glorious pain, see how I suffer for love!!!! Bollocks. :(:headbang:
 Quoting: Shiva Nataraja


Sadly women want you to be their knight in shining armor, but you do not want to be that guy.

Better for you dude to cut them off completely until you are ready to reach out to someone.
 Quoting: Kick Ass 28323227


I would but my fantasy harem just gets bigger and bigger! Hehe! (",)

cool2
Dance, it's your birthright. X
quest
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11/23/2012 04:13 AM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
The only hint i have, is people seem to do better, romantically, with people of a similar eye color.
Life and Love

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11/23/2012 10:01 AM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
It's been two months since I found out he had a gf. I should just avoid him? He still looks at me, and I know it's just looking. I was mean, and when he tried to talk to me when I knew he had a gf, I just walked away. I felt led on, even though I wasn't really. I don't feel like it's right, since it was so weird and intense.

Your words are helping. I know most people will just think he's a bad guy, there was nothing between us. To be honest, I don't tell others how intense it is, other than my mom. That's why I came to GLP over it, since it's a lot to take in. I feel like no one would believe me. And to see it in his eyes...I have the horrible "what if's". The connection is so different and unexpected, hit me like a ton of bricks. I just wish it meant something other than just this. I hate to still think about him 20 years from now, and I see myself doing just that.

I know I can't close my heart, but I have.

Thanks for being my therapist. :) I understand embracing the sadness, it's sticking to me like a bad cold. I thought I could just ignore him, and everything would just work out. It's not....
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


I'm not a "therapist" :) -- just someone who is going to walk with you through all of this, as much as you want and as far as you like.

Avoid him? Maybe if it's bothering you. But not otherwise. If he is looking at you, enjoy that. You don't have to respond outwardly, but enjoy being the focus of someone's attention for a few seconds.

Perhaps it would be encouraging to hear that I have had three or four of these "heart to heart" connections in my life. Obviously, they were not all romantic as I was not available for that. But they were/are still deeply meaningful and breathtaking. They will last forever.

In your case, you are available, and when (when, not if!) another comes along, you will recognize it for what it is. You will not feel as blindsided and unexpected. (The first time one happened to me, I wanted to run away and nearly did! I'm glad I didn't.)

Last Edited by Life and Love on 11/23/2012 10:06 AM
We become like that to which we are devoted. Choose wisely.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/23/2012 04:14 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
I get this all the time! Women that Are attracted to me tend to be in unhappy relationships and are reaching out to be rescued. Sadly, for me, I am not demonstrative enough and quickly fall into the 'best friend zone'. There I stay, giving them what they are not getting at home. Love and adoration. Then when they've had their fill they tend to find that they are happier at home again and I am left with nothing.
Far from this being their fault I have to accept that I am afraid of making choices from people that are available to me and therefore am actually happier in a fantasy where everything is perfect, (if only it were real!)
My latest has gone on for nearly 2 years. She's engaged to a guy she doesn't like. Her kids are unhappy and her family are telling her all the time that she should get out... After having coffee with her a couple of times, she's more determined than ever to, 'make it work'.
Oh joy! Eventually I will have to be the true romantic and say goodbye forever but I can squeeze a couple of months of misery into this one over Christmas before I'm done. Glorious pain, see how I suffer for love!!!! Bollocks. :(

headbang
 Quoting: Shiva Nataraja


I am with you on this heartache. Unrequited love is a horrible thing. You deserve better.

I wish I knew what to say, but I am so bad at this love thing.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/23/2012 04:17 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
Should I ever approach him about it?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


Yes, women should be more forward, it would make the world a better place.

Tell him, and you will be free either way.
 Quoting: Kick Ass 28323227


Even if he's taken? I want more than one person's opinion on this. Do I apologize for ignoring him, too? Or ask him if he just liked my attention, that's all it was? I have no idea. I am so very bad at this. I haven't talked to him for 2-3 months. He just looks my way.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/23/2012 04:19 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
The only hint i have, is people seem to do better, romantically, with people of a similar eye color.
 Quoting: quest 9506672


Really? Never heard of that. I have never been drawn to someone with my eye color...weird.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 24512322
United States
11/23/2012 04:37 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
It's been two months since I found out he had a gf. I should just avoid him? He still looks at me, and I know it's just looking. I was mean, and when he tried to talk to me when I knew he had a gf, I just walked away. I felt led on, even though I wasn't really. I don't feel like it's right, since it was so weird and intense.

Your words are helping. I know most people will just think he's a bad guy, there was nothing between us. To be honest, I don't tell others how intense it is, other than my mom. That's why I came to GLP over it, since it's a lot to take in. I feel like no one would believe me. And to see it in his eyes...I have the horrible "what if's". The connection is so different and unexpected, hit me like a ton of bricks. I just wish it meant something other than just this. I hate to still think about him 20 years from now, and I see myself doing just that.

I know I can't close my heart, but I have.

Thanks for being my therapist. :) I understand embracing the sadness, it's sticking to me like a bad cold. I thought I could just ignore him, and everything would just work out. It's not....
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


I'm not a "therapist" :) -- just someone who is going to walk with you through all of this, as much as you want and as far as you like.

Avoid him? Maybe if it's bothering you. But not otherwise. If he is looking at you, enjoy that. You don't have to respond outwardly, but enjoy being the focus of someone's attention for a few seconds.

Perhaps it would be encouraging to hear that I have had three or four of these "heart to heart" connections in my life. Obviously, they were not all romantic as I was not available for that. But they were/are still deeply meaningful and breathtaking. They will last forever.

In your case, you are available, and when (when, not if!) another comes along, you will recognize it for what it is. You will not feel as blindsided and unexpected. (The first time one happened to me, I wanted to run away and nearly did! I'm glad I didn't.)
 Quoting: Life and Love


I often did runaway from him. It was just so intense, I needed time alone to have my heart beat go down, and my mind was just spinning. I could never initiate conversation. I got so shy, wondering if he was feeling this, too. I felt my whole body glow from him. When we would walk by each other, it's like the air would get thick. We would just look at each other, like our eyes were magnets to each other.

I never felt and seen so many signs about this guy, it's so strange. My mom and co worker dreamt of us being together. My mom knew of him, too. She saw him at my job, and she remembered him. He went to her church for awhile, 3 years ago.

Well two weeks ago, my mom went to church without me. She drove my car and parked it up front. He knows my car. She saw him there at our church, with the gf. She says he saw him looking around, she thinks it was for me. She saw him looking at the choir a lot, he knows I sing. Or maybe we are jumping to conclusions...who knows.

We also have the same birthday, different year. I know that's not entirely special, just probably a coincidence.

If I could bake you a cake, and send it to you, I would. I really appreciate you listening and responding to my pain. You are truly helping me.

I just feel questionable for him paying me attention when he has a gf. But I know I never truly let on I felt something for him, I tried to hide it. I have low self esteem, and he always made me feel good about myself. I feel bad for blowing him off when he tried to talk to me.

I always get to a point of trying to get over him, but then I never get over that hump. Those closest to me don't understand why I haven't moved on. I can't look at other guys...I feel immature.

It really makes you feel alive.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 24512322
United States
11/23/2012 04:39 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
So will ignoring him make it go away? I feel like he's still drawn to me, even though I try my best to avoid him. Maybe I am feeling it, and he isn't. Should I ever approach him about it?

What your saying is very interesting. I just never felt this way before, I just assumed I will never. I am so impatient....lol.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


"When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love."

[link to www.katsandogz.com]

ask yourself inside your heart.
would you prefer to not have experienced that bliss, so that you would not feel the pain afterwards?
 Quoting: andreidita


Beautiful....just beautiful. Thank you, too for sticking along on my journey in the unknown.
Life and Love

User ID: 26735250
United States
11/23/2012 04:51 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
I often did runaway from him. It was just so intense, I needed time alone to have my heart beat go down, and my mind was just spinning. I could never initiate conversation. I got so shy, wondering if he was feeling this, too. I felt my whole body glow from him. When we would walk by each other, it's like the air would get thick. We would just look at each other, like our eyes were magnets to each other.

I never felt and seen so many signs about this guy, it's so strange. My mom and co worker dreamt of us being together. My mom knew of him, too. She saw him at my job, and she remembered him. He went to her church for awhile, 3 years ago.

Well two weeks ago, my mom went to church without me. She drove my car and parked it up front. He knows my car. She saw him there at our church, with the gf. She says he saw him looking around, she thinks it was for me. She saw him looking at the choir a lot, he knows I sing. Or maybe we are jumping to conclusions...who knows.

We also have the same birthday, different year. I know that's not entirely special, just probably a coincidence.

If I could bake you a cake, and send it to you, I would. I really appreciate you listening and responding to my pain. You are truly helping me.

I just feel questionable for him paying me attention when he has a gf. But I know I never truly let on I felt something for him, I tried to hide it. I have low self esteem, and he always made me feel good about myself. I feel bad for blowing him off when he tried to talk to me.

I always get to a point of trying to get over him, but then I never get over that hump. Those closest to me don't understand why I haven't moved on. I can't look at other guys...I feel immature.

It really makes you feel alive.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


I see that you and I have a number of things in common: church, music, interested in someone who "just happens" to have the same birth date.

You are in a common situation of having friends, family, people at GLP and others trying to "fix you." That's why they are telling you to get over it. I just want you to know that you're not "broken" in the first place, so there's really nothing to fix. :)

From what you are writing about the guy, I am wondering if he is questioning having the gf he presently has. This isn't anything you are bringing about, you just happen to be there.

I have no idea how it all works out, that's why I don't give "advice" per se. I'm just here to listen, respect, and love.

And maybe one day you'll get to serve me some of that cake! hf
We become like that to which we are devoted. Choose wisely.
andreidita

User ID: 4637432
Romania
11/23/2012 04:58 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
Beautiful....just beautiful. Thank you, too for sticking along on my journey in the unknown.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


there is always a helping hand for a waking soul
if you have any question. feel free to ask. maybe you'll find something useful in the answer

namaste
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 24512322
United States
11/24/2012 10:00 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


I see that you and I have a number of things in common: church, music, interested in someone who "just happens" to have the same birth date.

You are in a common situation of having friends, family, people at GLP and others trying to "fix you." That's why they are telling you to get over it. I just want you to know that you're not "broken" in the first place, so there's really nothing to fix. :)

From what you are writing about the guy, I am wondering if he is questioning having the gf he presently has. This isn't anything you are bringing about, you just happen to be there.

I have no idea how it all works out, that's why I don't give "advice" per se. I'm just here to listen, respect, and love.

And maybe one day you'll get to serve me some of that cake! hf
 Quoting: Life and Love


Yep, my co workers are trying to set me up with a really nice guy, right now. They think I should of been over this guy by now.

The other guy who they are trying to set me up with likes me a lot. I'm giving him a chance. I'm still hung up on the other guy, but I feel after a year, if he liked me, he would of done more than just keeping staring and staring and talk.

You are right...EVERYONE is trying to fix me. Everyone's thinks I am just being silly.

Though maybe I should just be happy for what I received, and take it as it is, for what it has been, as the other poster stated.

It was amazing what was there, but it makes me feel stupid how much of a fool I was, not knowing he was with someone.

Thank you for your messages. They calm me down, when my mind just starts acting up on me.
Life and Love

User ID: 26735250
United States
11/25/2012 08:08 AM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
Yep, my co workers are trying to set me up with a really nice guy, right now. They think I should of been over this guy by now.

The other guy who they are trying to set me up with likes me a lot. I'm giving him a chance. I'm still hung up on the other guy, but I feel after a year, if he liked me, he would of done more than just keeping staring and staring and talk.

You are right...EVERYONE is trying to fix me. Everyone's thinks I am just being silly.

Though maybe I should just be happy for what I received, and take it as it is, for what it has been, as the other poster stated.

It was amazing what was there, but it makes me feel stupid how much of a fool I was, not knowing he was with someone.

Thank you for your messages. They calm me down, when my mind just starts acting up on me.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


Then they will continue. I'll write you back as long as you are posting. And I have no need to try to "fix" you because you're just fine as you are, a unique fingerprint of our Creator.

I will be leaving for church in about an hour and will be sure to include you in my prayers. (Not that you have to be in church to pray, just that there will be others praying with me.)

Yes, there is wisdom in what the other poster wrote about being grateful for what you did receive. Maybe it was meant to be a glimpse at what is possible so that you will never settle for less. (Obviously, I'm just speculating.) But accepting "what is" was a very difficult thing to learn, in fact, I'm still learning it! LOL

Take care, my Friend. hf
We become like that to which we are devoted. Choose wisely.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 24512322
United States
11/26/2012 10:51 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
Yep, my co workers are trying to set me up with a really nice guy, right now. They think I should of been over this guy by now.

The other guy who they are trying to set me up with likes me a lot. I'm giving him a chance. I'm still hung up on the other guy, but I feel after a year, if he liked me, he would of done more than just keeping staring and staring and talk.

You are right...EVERYONE is trying to fix me. Everyone's thinks I am just being silly.

Though maybe I should just be happy for what I received, and take it as it is, for what it has been, as the other poster stated.

It was amazing what was there, but it makes me feel stupid how much of a fool I was, not knowing he was with someone.

Thank you for your messages. They calm me down, when my mind just starts acting up on me.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


Then they will continue. I'll write you back as long as you are posting. And I have no need to try to "fix" you because you're just fine as you are, a unique fingerprint of our Creator.

I will be leaving for church in about an hour and will be sure to include you in my prayers. (Not that you have to be in church to pray, just that there will be others praying with me.)

Yes, there is wisdom in what the other poster wrote about being grateful for what you did receive. Maybe it was meant to be a glimpse at what is possible so that you will never settle for less. (Obviously, I'm just speculating.) But accepting "what is" was a very difficult thing to learn, in fact, I'm still learning it! LOL

Take care, my Friend. hf
 Quoting: Life and Love


Thank you for you kindness and prayers. I will pray for you, too.

I don't feel so frazzled as previously.

Accepting what is is not going so well. I have the What If that is overtaking my mind.

I pray that God just helps me. I am so impatient. I know everything is in his timing. He knows best, I'm just here. I wish it was easy to move on. But it's not happening...when I can tell he isn't moving on.
Life and Love

User ID: 5086039
United States
11/26/2012 11:10 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
Then they will continue. I'll write you back as long as you are posting. And I have no need to try to "fix" you because you're just fine as you are, a unique fingerprint of our Creator.

I will be leaving for church in about an hour and will be sure to include you in my prayers. (Not that you have to be in church to pray, just that there will be others praying with me.)

Yes, there is wisdom in what the other poster wrote about being grateful for what you did receive. Maybe it was meant to be a glimpse at what is possible so that you will never settle for less. (Obviously, I'm just speculating.) But accepting "what is" was a very difficult thing to learn, in fact, I'm still learning it! LOL

Take care, my Friend. hf
 Quoting: Life and Love


Thank you for you kindness and prayers. I will pray for you, too.

I don't feel so frazzled as previously.

Accepting what is is not going so well. I have the What If that is overtaking my mind.

I pray that God just helps me. I am so impatient. I know everything is in his timing. He knows best, I'm just here. I wish it was easy to move on. But it's not happening...when I can tell he isn't moving on.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


I'm glad to hear that you're not so frazzled. That's progress!

The "accepting what is" won't happen until it's time to happen. But one day it will. Just like moving on. You can't move on until it's time to move on. Your time is not yet. (Even God doesn't barge in and push us along. He respects us too much for that.)

All this reminds me of something I heard long ago. Telling someone to "move on" or "stop thinking about 'what if' is like telling them, "Don't think about the red monkey." As soon as you hear those words you will think about the red monkey. You can't help yourself.

So maybe a prayer to think about praying would go like this: "God, I'm tired of being 'stuck' in this mindset, but I am going to trust You that You are still walking with me and can use all of this for my good and Your glory."

And I'll be praying with you. hf
We become like that to which we are devoted. Choose wisely.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 24512322
United States
11/30/2012 09:36 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
Then they will continue. I'll write you back as long as you are posting. And I have no need to try to "fix" you because you're just fine as you are, a unique fingerprint of our Creator.

I will be leaving for church in about an hour and will be sure to include you in my prayers. (Not that you have to be in church to pray, just that there will be others praying with me.)

Yes, there is wisdom in what the other poster wrote about being grateful for what you did receive. Maybe it was meant to be a glimpse at what is possible so that you will never settle for less. (Obviously, I'm just speculating.) But accepting "what is" was a very difficult thing to learn, in fact, I'm still learning it! LOL

Take care, my Friend. hf
 Quoting: Life and Love


Thank you for you kindness and prayers. I will pray for you, too.

I don't feel so frazzled as previously.

Accepting what is is not going so well. I have the What If that is overtaking my mind.

I pray that God just helps me. I am so impatient. I know everything is in his timing. He knows best, I'm just here. I wish it was easy to move on. But it's not happening...when I can tell he isn't moving on.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


I'm glad to hear that you're not so frazzled. That's progress!

The "accepting what is" won't happen until it's time to happen. But one day it will. Just like moving on. You can't move on until it's time to move on. Your time is not yet. (Even God doesn't barge in and push us along. He respects us too much for that.)

All this reminds me of something I heard long ago. Telling someone to "move on" or "stop thinking about 'what if' is like telling them, "Don't think about the red monkey." As soon as you hear those words you will think about the red monkey. You can't help yourself.

So maybe a prayer to think about praying would go like this: "God, I'm tired of being 'stuck' in this mindset, but I am going to trust You that You are still walking with me and can use all of this for my good and Your glory."

And I'll be praying with you. hf
 Quoting: Life and Love


Do I need therapy?

I might go to church to talk to a priest.

Thank you for your prayers. I have been praying, maybe not hard enough.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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United States
11/30/2012 09:38 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
I looked up love addiction, and I am starting to think I have unrequited love addiction. It's like I can't move on from him. And seeing him look at me doesn't help. I feel like just talking to him might be the step to just move on. Even if he rejects me, there's no what if left to wonder about.
Life and Love

User ID: 26735250
United States
11/30/2012 09:42 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
Then they will continue. I'll write you back as long as you are posting. And I have no need to try to "fix" you because you're just fine as you are, a unique fingerprint of our Creator.

I will be leaving for church in about an hour and will be sure to include you in my prayers. (Not that you have to be in church to pray, just that there will be others praying with me.)

Yes, there is wisdom in what the other poster wrote about being grateful for what you did receive. Maybe it was meant to be a glimpse at what is possible so that you will never settle for less. (Obviously, I'm just speculating.) But accepting "what is" was a very difficult thing to learn, in fact, I'm still learning it! LOL

Take care, my Friend. hf
 Quoting: Life and Love


Thank you for you kindness and prayers. I will pray for you, too.

I don't feel so frazzled as previously.

Accepting what is is not going so well. I have the What If that is overtaking my mind.

I pray that God just helps me. I am so impatient. I know everything is in his timing. He knows best, I'm just here. I wish it was easy to move on. But it's not happening...when I can tell he isn't moving on.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


I'm glad to hear that you're not so frazzled. That's progress!

The "accepting what is" won't happen until it's time to happen. But one day it will. Just like moving on. You can't move on until it's time to move on. Your time is not yet. (Even God doesn't barge in and push us along. He respects us too much for that.)

All this reminds me of something I heard long ago. Telling someone to "move on" or "stop thinking about 'what if' is like telling them, "Don't think about the red monkey." As soon as you hear those words you will think about the red monkey. You can't help yourself.

So maybe a prayer to think about praying would go like this: "God, I'm tired of being 'stuck' in this mindset, but I am going to trust You that You are still walking with me and can use all of this for my good and Your glory."

And I'll be praying with you. hf
 Quoting: Life and Love


Do I need therapy?

I might go to church to talk to a priest.

Thank you for your prayers. I have been praying, maybe not hard enough.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


Therapy? Probably not. Maybe some counseling would be good as it helps you see things through the eyes of others and gives you new tools for you to use on your problems.

Choosing a church is probably as difficult as choosing a counselor. If you would register as a regular member (at no cost), I could send you a PM with some thoughts. You couldn't PM me back, but this would be a start.

As I read recently "prayer" is a conversation within a relationship. So there's no concept as "hard enough." :) Seeing the world through God's eyes, however, gives us balance and puts things into perspective.

I appreciate your continuing our conversation. hf
We become like that to which we are devoted. Choose wisely.
Life and Love

User ID: 26735250
United States
11/30/2012 09:44 PM
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Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
I looked up love addiction, and I am starting to think I have unrequited love addiction. It's like I can't move on from him. And seeing him look at me doesn't help. I feel like just talking to him might be the step to just move on. Even if he rejects me, there's no what if left to wonder about.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


Well, it might be strong attraction to the idea of a deep, connected relationship rather than to this particular one.

But as I've said before, I see no downside in your talking to him.
We become like that to which we are devoted. Choose wisely.

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