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Message Subject How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)
Poster Handle Anonymous Coward
Post Content
Maybe you know each other from a previous lifetime... Doesn't necessarily mean you were 'lovers' but could have had some type of affiliation in a past life and this familiarity could create the seemingly unique connection that you feel towards him.

From an outsider's perspective, if he wants to pursue you in a romantic way he should break up with his GF on his own accord and not from any influence/meddling on your part. If this doesn't happen then he may not feel the same way towards you as you are feeling towards him, or he may not know what he wants or the timing is simply off and you should prepare yourself to move on. I've found any time I let my emotions get the better of me and I tried to pursue circumstances I thought were 'right', it led to heartache. It other words I let my emotions/impulses override my better sense of judgement and objectivity.

Just try and be yourself and don't have expectations as to what will come to be, and mentally prepare yourself to be able to 'move on' from these circumstances. What will be, will be. Fact is you don't need anyone else to complete you or make you feel whole but we often go through a stretch of life in which we feel that way.

hf
 Quoting: ANHEDONIC


This!! ^

Also...Op, I'm a firm believer in taking the bull by the horns. Life has taught me this, but also to do so with caution.

By this I mean, you need to stop pussy footing around him and sending him mixed signals. That is what it sounds like you're doing. First your talking to him and enjoying his company and the next thing you're doing is being rude to him. The poor guy is probably a little confused by you at this point.

With many years of experience under my proverbial belt, here is what I would do if I were you. Realize the guy is technically still on the market if he's not married and only in a relationship. Ok now this is very important! This does NOT mean you disrespect that relationship in any way shape or form. You simply acknowledge that it exists and you play by the rules.

What does this mean? It means you be very open and honest with him about your feelings, HOWEVER, you also MUST let him know that you acknowledge the fact that he's in a relationship AND you respect it!! By doing this, you are NOT playing any games with him. Guys hate that stuff and all the drama that goes with it! And you are putting all of your cards out on the table for HIM to make the next move.

In the mean time...apologize for being rude to him and let him know that it was because of your inner conflict around him and your desire to respect his current relationship. Tell him you would really like to get to know him better but only on a friendship basis! Make it VERY clear to him what your boundaries are with him while he's in his current relationship and stick to them no matter how tempted you may be to play "the other woman." This is sooooo important! I can't stress this enough!! First and foremost you MUST be true to yourself!

Now that you've been completely open an honest with him about your feelings and your ideals, the proverbial ball is in his court. He can decide to serve it back or hang onto it. You've done all you can do at this point. If there is something there, he now knows how you feel about him and that should he pursue a friendship with you, he automatically knows who he's getting involved with and what your boundaries/morals/ideals are.

That really is all you can and should do at this point. And in my opinion, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with it! If you're feeling a sense of moral guilt about your feelings with this guy, don't. You have done nothing to feel guilty about. He is not married, which means he is either in a serious relationship, or he is potentially still looking. He will let you know which one it is. You owe it to yourself, to him and believe it or not to his current girlfriend to find out the truth about his feelings. After all...if you were his girlfriend, you certainly wouldn't want to play second fiddle to another woman would you? You would want ALL of him, both physically mentally and emotionally. She, you and he deserves that much;) I hope you give these words some deep thought Op and I wish you all the best no matter the outcome:) :hf:

Remember...you only live THIS life once. At the end of it and we never know how long we'll get till that end, NOW is the time you get to decide how many regrets you want to look back on;)
 
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