Women who went through C-sections...

I've had 4 kids...9lbs 9oz., 8lbs 11oz, 8lbs 11oz., and 9lbs 13oz.

The first and third were emergency C-sections, the second and fourth were V-backs.

I was put under general for my first C-section and felt I missed out on the bonding time while I came down off the drugs...they wouldn't let me hold her for 4 hours after I awoke.

My observation is this: My love, dedication and devotion to all four children is the same. I do not feel differently about my love for any of my kids. I do however notice that my two C-section babies are somewhat different from my two v-back babies in that they have confidence issues, and they suffer from allergies, insomnia and anxiety, where as my other two kids don't.

I have read that the physical process of passing through the birth canal is also biological and psychological. An essential enzyme and bacteria transfer occurs, and apparently the actual crushing sensation of passing through the pelvis/vagina prepares the infant for the real world outside by releasing chemicals and hormones in the process, creating a biological and psychological threshold that is absent from C-section births.

I hope this has shed some light on the issue. Having had four kids two ways does give me some insight on the subject. I am also good friends with my midwife, whom I still learn from continuously, six years after my last birth. BTW, my first two were OB/GYN babies and the last two were midwifery babies and I very highly recommend midwifery to anyone who has access to it. The care I received from the midwives (even during my c-section) was exceptional.

Heart flowers to all moms and kids out there. Celebrate life and love.

i had 2 natural births. both very quick and 'relatively easy'

its a weird enough experience as it is without having a whole chunk of the experience removed

one minute, no baby.... unconsciousness.... the next minute... a baby!

goes without saying that there is a bit of a disconnect, physically and psychologically, because it just didnt happen. otherwise, why make the who process so inconvenient? why didnt mother nature make it more like sneezing? its about the experience

but what can you do if you need the op? nothing. not judging you ladies!

i am highly suspicious of any woman who opts for a c-section for no reason other than vanity. too posh to push? pfft. may you be cursed with a 1000 sleepless nights. although youd probably hire a nanny for that

i will tell you, yes, i am vain.

god of this world taught people to think that wanting to look the best for my husband, out of sheer respect for him, is vain.

that looks don't matter and brains do..

newsflash, brains are as temporary as looks, i can get alsimer's, i can get shot in the head or just go senile, as much as we all get old and lose our looks...

of course looks don't matter, nothing does, and YET everything matters a little bit....

yes, i am vain, i do not want my husband to have an ugly face, body or vagina to have to love, and no amount of god's propaganda will make me feel bad about it...

and even more importantly, for once i would like to fancy what i see on the mirror and i would like to change it to my liking by my own will and efforts not praying to a raging psycho god to please give me a body i like more next time...

god thinks if he gives me a damn beard, he will crush my spirit, then i go and laser it all off and say, in your face little god...

by the same token he turns having my son into a torture that leaves permanent uglyness on ym body, and i take measures that having my beautiful baby goes as painlessly and leaves as little ugly consequneces on me as i can...

yes i am vain, and i so do not consider it my bad trait.

vain is only a bad word coz we wrongly assume that wanting to be pretty is wrong as oppose to wanting to be smart.

both are needed, and since it has never been easier to change what god gave us, we should all use esthetic surgery in a heatlhy conscience way, with help of professional responsible doctors.

i am not saying operate on people who did not work out their psychological issues, but like it's done so many times and ends up in rich freaks walking around looking like aliens, i am saying make it cheap and accessible and use it like it was intended tro be used, to better the quality of human experiance int his hell hole....

With my first, I had him normally, and they took him from me for an HOUR. With my C-Section, I was more than clear about them doing what they needed to do, then making sure I got to have the baby. I felt like I missed out more with the first one because I lacked the assertiveness to make sure they didn't just take him away like they did. It SUCKS when hospitals do that, many of them find that bathing the baby and doing a bunch of extra stuff is more important. Unless there is a big medical problem, there shouldn't be a reason they have them for more than 10 minutes (sewing you up time aside) before they let you see them again.
As far as my kids go, NOTHING is lacking due to it, I'm very close to them, it didn't matter at all and they sure don't remember it. :)

I have had both. Yes, c-section I hated but I didn't have a choice.

You see my first was sick and I was induced, my second I fell victim to the DR wanting to induce labor because it was easier for them, then the third was my last chance, I wanted to know what it felt like to tell my husband, "it's time" sounds silly I know. But I wanted to do it ALL natural, not just no pain meds, I wanted to go into labor stay in labor at home until I knew I needed to go.

My son has Spina Bifida and a vaginal birth wasn't an option. I'm sure him being in the NICU for almost a month has a bit to do with my initial lack of maternal instinct, but the c-section coupled with the "will he live?" and the NICU stay really took me a long time to completely fall head over heels(if you will). Don't get me wrong, I love all 3 of my children the same, but there was definitely something missing in the first months of my youngests life and regrettably, I will never get that "something" back.

I figure that will be the majority response, that no bond has been severed. A good motherly bond is strong, despite maybe some misteps in the birthing process.

brings in the bucks!
$$$

Add shallow. If your husband leaves you because your pussy not being tight enough, then that ain´t love honey.

Do you feel like you missed out on anything because you had a C-section?

Theres a documentary called "The Buisness of Being Born", Great little film about the benefits of natural birth. Worth a watch.

Towards the end, a woman claims she felt she has a missing link between herself and her baby. The motherly bond still there, but just some "thing" missing between them.

I've heard this repeated with other women I personally know who went through the C-section.

For me, I don't feel that way. I was put under completely for it and woke up 30 mins after the baby was born. Didn't see him for another 20 mins after that.

So I feel like I missed out that part, and that part was so very important to me, but I don't feel a missing "link" or whatever between my son and myself.

I tried delivering with a midwife and the thought of hospital terrified me. Wasn't part of my birth plan at all. I eventually had to go to the hospital because my labor went haywire.

Just curious how other women feel. Is there something missing for you? What sort of bond is severed, if any?

I had a C. Had no choice and she was put on monitors in the special nursery (quasi NICU) for 3 days, so we really didn't get to bond. Breastfeeding didn't work out, probably because of that 3 day separation. I felt bad about it, but the important thing is she's healthy now. Would I have a C again? Not sure. It was quick and I didn't have to lay there pushing for many hours. Did it affect our bonding? It was the 3 days separation. If we could have had her right after the C, we might have bonded quicker. We have since made up for lost time.

Thanks you ladies interesting discussion

Best post I've read all day fascinating

I was 11 in natural birth

My mother said she would do it all over again

I ate my feces during birth though and had to go to icu for a while

My brother is c section and he is very different

i had both.
my 1st was a planned homebirth with a midwife and labour was only 5 hours and intense as hell.
did not have any pain killers. just pushed her out on my bed.

the 2nd i did also a planned homebirth, but after 24 hours i could not push her out so we went to the hospital (which we had already planned out in case and were only 5 minutes away from)
and they did a c section because i was too exhausted.
she was "sunny side up" and i think this is one reason i had a hard time getting her out the old fashioned way.

i do think the 2 experiences were completely different.

the 1st one, when she was born, it's like some energy is released that makes everyone cry in the room. it's way more emotional.

and the second time you just hope everything goes ok and when they lifted her out of me my husband and i did not cry in the same way, but had just great relief.

then i had a 3rd and i found out he had trisomy13 but i decided to go ahead with the pregnancy anyway (there was never a question in my mind. and the only reason i had the ets to find out is because at the 3 month mark we went in for the 1st ultrasound and it was pretty apparent something was wrong becaus he was missing half of his heart, so i did the test to see what he had so i could know what to expect and be at a hospital that is a heart specialist. my 1st daughter, lili has down syndrome but she is as healthy as a horse. never sick ever. had 2 colds and that was it. never tested for her. so she was a surprise but we were prepared in case because i had my 1st one at age 40) because he was my only son and i wanted to spend whatever time with him i could. then he died inside me at 38 weeks.

i opted for a c section on that one, because to push him out, knowing he was dead, would have been too emotionally difficult for me.

i'm really glad i got to have at least one the old fashioned way. i do feel proud about it that i was able to do that. the body is amazing. and it's marvelous feeling when you push out and then you have a new little girl laying on your stomach looking at you with the umbilical cord still attaching us. it's just WOW.

but in the end, of course i love them exactly the same :)
and now i can have empathy for women who go through really long labours, because i got an epidural to have the c section and that was glorious after 24 hours of pain.

i would not do anything differently tho, now that i know that an epi causes less pain. because an epidural , most often, leads to a c section in a domino like effect.

now my tubes are tied.
and i would like women to know that having your tubes tied really does screw with your hormones and can put you into premature menopause. and they never tell you that but it's true.
so prepare yourself for that if anyone should decide that route. this is a common thing that happens they never tell women about it.

also i'm sorry about your belly, i hope you are better now...i wld hug you if i could, stupid irresponsible doctors, i would kill them all if i could.

Well, if I didn't have the C-section may child might have died. I had an epideral. I was awake during the process and saw him before they wisked him away. He was a 10 by the way! Beautiful head! I didn't feel the first labor pain! Don't feel like I missed a thing!

I am, too. The thinning of my abdomenal lining is due to the c-sections themselves and women that have their children by c-section all have a cap on how many they can have. Great for population control really. However, let's get one thing straight. These doctors were not stupid or irresponsible. Both of them saved my life. The stupid and irresponsible ones were the ones that pushed me to attempt natural delivery for the preceding 54 hours. Don't you dare call the ones that saved my life irresponsible and stupid. I owe them EVERYTHING. Neither could help what happened as a result of the c-sections. Not everybody heals the same way or bleeds the same way.

There's a whole lot that is natural in this world. Open your freaking eyes.

I had 4 c-sections and I've heard of women having many more. I think one of the Kennedy wives (Ethel?) had 9.

I am, too. The thinning of my abdomenal lining is due to the c-sections themselves and women that have their children by c-section all have a cap on how many they can have. Great for population control really. However, let's get one thing straight. These doctors were not stupid or irresponsible. Both of them saved my life. The stupid and irresponsible ones were the ones that pushed me to attempt natural delivery for the preceding 54 hours. Don't you dare call the ones that saved my life irresponsible and stupid. I owe them EVERYTHING. Neither could help what happened as a result of the c-sections. Not everybody heals the same way or bleeds the same way.

There's a whole lot that is natural in this world. Open your freaking eyes.

most women i know who had a cessarian have normal looking, 'i had babies' bellies, just have a big scar on their belly, so i assumed somethign went wrong with your surgery.

there is no need to get snappy with me tho.

cesarian is a routine surgery in this day and age, granted, like with any surgery something can go wrong, but so can in any type of labour, especially the one you girls call "natural"

my eyes are just fine too, you really shouldn't worry, and i will have my babies any way i like, this is only my business and my husband's.

same goes for eastethic surgery.

much like you are free to knock yourself out with you natural living.

You are misrepresenting caeserian sections as being something safe and what every woman should have done so they can get a tummy tuck at the same time. C-Sections are a major surgery and present a whole slew of dangers that would be entirely avoided through natural delivery. Why would I let someone give such ill advise when my experience with two C-sections has been very contrary to what you report? I'm more interested in making sure that women are aware of the dangers of the surgery itself so they can make a better, more informed decision instead of "gee, I can get a tummy tuck".

Things go wrong in surgeries. That's a fact.