Has anyone found the "one that got away" years later? Please tell

I hope you are doing better. I was going through some serious medical problems (still am) during the brief encounter and my attitude was the complete opposite, I did not want to add any drama or toxic people into my life since I needed to be mentally strong to fight for my health. I knew from the rumor mill this guy, despite him being 'nice' to me in hs, had been through a really bad divorce, there was domestic abuse and he must have really done a number on his ex wife for her to have done what she did to him physically (she severely hurt him in a very messed up, psycho way, like something you'd see out of a zombie horror movie). that being said, there were too many signs that indicated RUN in the other direction, this person has a lot of bad energy around them. And I never necessarily considered him anything more than a friend, no loss for me. If anything, I was probably the one that got away from him... twice. The other reason I am glad I never became friends is because I love my husband more than anything and it would be completely disrespectful to be friends with some guy who I knew had a thing for me in hs and that it would break my husband's heart. So for that reason I chose to be loyal to my one true love, so that he would never go away. I think of it this way, how would I feel if my hubby was connecting with some girl he used to like in hs? I would be sad and heartbroken. I have a brain, so I use it. Getting some fleeting attention from some long lost person you knew for only a couple of years is not worth the risk of ruining a perfect marriage. I've got too many gf's that have now become divorced over reconnecting with old flames via facebook only to be going through drama and such because facebook is one big revolving door of people coming and going from your past. 2 of my friends are now on divorce #2 because after leaving husband #1, they found 'true love' on FB (or so they thought) and then the cycle repeated, now the guys in both situations have dumped each of them for new women they 'reconnected' with in facebook. its comical because both women now wish they mever left husband #1. People just don't think, they act on emotion, which sometimes is not healthy.

so for me, I am relieved that I never went down that path to explore that nostalgic person from the past, and I do believe God's angels were giving me signals to stay away from him, that there were a lot of problems in his life and as it turned out, he had trouble at work, I heard from another mutual friend that he flirted a lot with every girl on facebook, even if they were married and so I know what ever we had as brief friends, he did not want the best for me. When you truly care about someone, you want the best for them, you want them to be happy - if anything, he got pissed that I didn't want to connect with him in person, so he got pissed off. Seems sad to me he was such a happy guy in hs, but grew old, bitter and divisive as an adult. Of course i suppose he would blame all that on us women, lol.

well better late than never.you can still forgive yourself for how you treated him and move on. just be careful when you contact him not to sound defensive. and be prepared for him to tell you he is already happy in a relationship. the one down side to reconnecting is you never want to be a home wrecker, or someone who has a strong desire to "win" him back just to prove something.

that is awesome. to be truly happy that someone else is happy shows that you are not a self absorbed pr*ck. I commend you on that and I hope you find happiness some day. Remember, everyday is a new chance for someone to walk into your life and rock your world.

lol, it's quite possible. Actually I believe, given his lack of belief in God that he is friends with the devil. You can tell by the sh*t that has happened to him, he is not protected, rather he seeks to destroy.

One little bit of advice, if I may... be careful with the texting. I know it is the year 2012 and everyone texts, but this is why you want to stand out and be different. Can you get his address and send him a card with pretty handwriting and sprayed lightly with your fav perfume? I know it may soud cheesy, but ho's text. I am going to go out on a limb and say you are not a ho. lol.

I think so much gets lost in translation these days with social media and texting. its very impersonal and with the amount of people at any given time in one's digital contacts, you become vanilla. If you can send him a hand written note, I do believe it would make a more lasting impact on that "first" impression of reconnecting.

good luck!

I found mine on facebook after 30 years.

We were beautiful back in 1982 - I was a sorority girl and he was a AF pilot to be.

Looking at the photos, he is now old and chubby and has a faithfull wife. He has two sons that live far from him.

I married a great guy and ( I'm still married) and have 2 daughters and 2 sons. My youngest son is only 11. I know that I got the best deal. (In the words of a Garth Brooks song, "Sometimes God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.")

But still...those were such exciting times and I wish that we could have known each other during the years that have passed.

kudos to you for not drinking!

do you remember that scene in the wedding singer?

adam sandler:

"drinking = messy puke = no one likes you" LOL...

life with out the legal poison is so mush sweeter.

that is a great song.

Yes and yes! We have been together again for 5 years and have the perfect life together...it is far from the life I walked away from: money, security, house, cars, etc. We care not about material 'things' to make us happy...it is our love and burning passion for each other that makes life worth living.

When he held me in his arms on the beach after 10 years apart (not seen each other in 8 years), my heart had finally come home and I knew what void it was that was missing inside me that I had tried for so many years to fill with empty things.

My biggest regret in life was walking away from him after he shattered my heart and then asked for another chance. We were not mature enough then to handle the kind of love that we have. I was terrified of having my heart broken by him again, and I suppose that is still a possibility. That is a chance I gladly take. The regret never lessened. I thought of him all the time. I even celebrated his birthday secretly. I thought I felt more for him than he did for me, so I didn't think we would ever be together again. I am so glad that I didn't let the fear keep me from being with the greatest love I could ever imagine.

Life sometimes has a way of surprising you, and if something is meant to be, it will be, no matter how much time passes or what your situation is. True love always finds a way.

You can only reach out and say what it is you feel. If you have regret, do something about it and find out what happens. That is the only way to get over the 'what ifs'. Best of luck!

i had a bad one like what you say

if i had the chance to tell her how i felt

id tell her to go and get fucked she had her chance and fucked it up

then id give her a hug and kiss and tell her i lover her and i always will

and i would leave it at that

i hope you get your closure forgive you first that is key to overcoming these things

find the love you shared and be an example of that love for others

That is very encouraging to hear! Thanks for sharing and good luck to you both!

I resist going on Facebook for many reasons, this is one of them.

I wonder if mine grew into a bitter old man too. I could definitely see the potential in him. But I also saw a funny happy guy who brought smiles to faces, especially mine. I am considering a text simply because it is "safer" than a phone call-I'm a chicken. The very last time we spoke he was very sarcastic and cruel (and I probably deserved it) and that hurt. But maybe hurt is what I'm supposed to feel now-to show myself I did the right thing walking away back then.

I am feeling almost 100% and have been in remission for almost 4 years now. Thanks for asking.

I agree, life is sweeter and much less dramatic! When we were togther drinking was an every night occurence. And I am an emotional basket case when I drink! Most of the time happy, but once in a while things would get out of control and yikes! I would really make a fool of myself. The only downside is that when I get crazy now, I can't blame it on being drunk, lol, I'm just crazy!

Mine would say something like that! The duality of love and hate for the same person at the same time.

No... Haven't seen her in awhile, but I'm just waiting for the kid to come up and call me daddy someday though.

I was fuckin the farmers daughter, things were getting shaky and we had angry sex out in the field late one summer night and I figured this was going to be the last time I tapped that ass so I half busted in her for spite, said goodbye and let her boss pick up the pieces and raise the kid thinking it was his LOL.

They worked at a place that fired them when it came to light that a boss-employee relationship was taking place. Last I heard he was a coke head and she got fat. Life is a bitch.

I found "the one who got away" and we talked on the internet a few times. Then, my husband got jealous and it didn't appear as if "the one who got away" had ever learned to have a long term relationship, so I cut off contact. We did, however, get things cleared up that had occurred when we broke up and we were able to tell each other what we had meant to one another 35 years ago.

This guy got the one that got away. This buck was walking around with a broadhead IN ITS BRAIN. Wow.

[link to www.texashuntworks.com]

She found me and now it's all said and done I wish she hadn't. It was nothing but drama and turmoil and ended with heart break. I wasted 425 days of my life and then went back and wasted another 6 months. All for a teenage crush that went sour.

Best let sleeping dogs lie man. Just let them be.

Well I had just that situation..

Back in 1993 we broke up about 3 days before our wedding. It was an ugly mess, Her parents hated me, and I was a bit of a player back then.. lol but all in all things just went boom one day and I never saw her again.

I spent years wondering what I could have done differently, yes I screwed things up but I always figured that somehow someway we would meet again, and things would work out now that we both did a whole lot of growing up.

Well.. a few years ago, I met her on facebook. She actually found me, and sent me a message along the lines of "You should remember me" (Im thinking to myself lol I spent the last 15 or so years remembering you lol) but I am married now and so is she.

After talking to her and watching her posts on facebook, I really appreciated my wife a whole lot more (and mind you my wife knows of this girl well.. I was not going behind her back to friend her on facebook).. I am happy where I am and I realized that the "ones that get away" get away for a reason. Such is life.

I think you do a whole lot of embellishing in your head over the years.. you remember moments, events, like pictures in your head but they fade away or get changed.. just like that line from the song "Dont look back you can never look back"

Just wanted to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving!