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Lemme tell ya a little story bout a guy named Tim

 
jacob
User ID: 24804670
United States
11/22/2012 11:17 PM
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Lemme tell ya a little story bout a guy named Tim
Tim's car stalled on County Road 47, somewhere between Athens and Pierson. He tried AAA, but could get no signal in this bumfuck Egypt part of the country. "Goddamnit", he said with a sigh. "Guess I'm walking."

He had barely made it three miles when the rain started, without warning. It was coming down hard and steady. Tim pulled his coat around his head and looked around. It was total darkness, save for the lone light he saw just through a small clearing in the woods, which appeared to be coming from an old cabin. He turned and ran into the woods, in the hopes that someone would be home and they would have a landline he could use.

Tim ran up on the porch and brushed the water from his face. He then peeled himself out of his jacket, now thoroughly soaked, and tossed it on the lone rocking chair that sat on the porch, rocking in the wind.

Tim knocked on the door. There was no answer. "Hello!", he yelled, "is anyone home?". He heard no movement and saw no one inside the house. He put his face to the window, in the hopes of seeing someone, but there was no one inside. He knocked again. "Hello, is anyone in there? My car broke down and I need to use a phone.". He knocked on the door again. Still, there was no movement from inside the cabin.

Tim tried in vain for 10 minutes, but still saw nor heard anyone inside the cabin. He tried the doorknob. It was unlocked. Tim stepped into the doorway, "Hello! Anyone home?", still nothing. "I'm sorry to just walk in like this, but no one answered when I knocked and I really need to use a phone. My car broke down and..." there was a thump from the kitchen.

Tim stepped into the door. "Hello!", he said again. There was still no answer, so Tim began to walk to the kitchen, which sat just on the other side of the small living room. "Hello. Is someone there? I am sorry to bother you....". Tim stepped around the small divide between the kitchen and living room. "Hello?".

Tim stopped cold as he stepped into the kitchen. There was no one there. "What the hell?", he mumbled under his breath. The door slammed shut behind him, causing his heart to skip a beat.
grasptheuniverse

User ID: 27324723
Australia
11/23/2012 02:55 AM
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Re: Lemme tell ya a little story bout a guy named Tim
Tim's car stalled on County Road 47, somewhere between Athens and Pierson. He tried AAA, but could get no signal in this bumfuck Egypt part of the country. "Goddamnit", he said with a sigh. "Guess I'm walking."

He had barely made it three miles when the rain started, without warning. It was coming down hard and steady. Tim pulled his coat around his head and looked around. It was total darkness, save for the lone light he saw just through a small clearing in the woods, which appeared to be coming from an old cabin. He turned and ran into the woods, in the hopes that someone would be home and they would have a landline he could use.

Tim ran up on the porch and brushed the water from his face. He then peeled himself out of his jacket, now thoroughly soaked, and tossed it on the lone rocking chair that sat on the porch, rocking in the wind.

Tim knocked on the door. There was no answer. "Hello!", he yelled, "is anyone home?". He heard no movement and saw no one inside the house. He put his face to the window, in the hopes of seeing someone, but there was no one inside. He knocked again. "Hello, is anyone in there? My car broke down and I need to use a phone.". He knocked on the door again. Still, there was no movement from inside the cabin.

Tim tried in vain for 10 minutes, but still saw nor heard anyone inside the cabin. He tried the doorknob. It was unlocked. Tim stepped into the doorway, "Hello! Anyone home?", still nothing. "I'm sorry to just walk in like this, but no one answered when I knocked and I really need to use a phone. My car broke down and..." there was a thump from the kitchen.

Tim stepped into the door. "Hello!", he said again. There was still no answer, so Tim began to walk to the kitchen, which sat just on the other side of the small living room. "Hello. Is someone there? I am sorry to bother you....". Tim stepped around the small divide between the kitchen and living room. "Hello?".

Tim stopped cold as he stepped into the kitchen. There was no one there. "What the hell?", he mumbled under his breath. The door slammed shut behind him, causing his heart to skip a beat.
 Quoting: jacob 24804670


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caz
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26167151
United States
11/23/2012 03:43 AM
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Re: Lemme tell ya a little story bout a guy named Tim
Tim's car stalled on County Road 47, somewhere between Athens and Pierson. He tried AAA, but could get no signal in this bumfuck Egypt part of the country. "Goddamnit", he said with a sigh. "Guess I'm walking."

He had barely made it three miles when the rain started, without warning. It was coming down hard and steady. Tim pulled his coat around his head and looked around. It was total darkness, save for the lone light he saw just through a small clearing in the woods, which appeared to be coming from an old cabin. He turned and ran into the woods, in the hopes that someone would be home and they would have a landline he could use.

Tim ran up on the porch and brushed the water from his face. He then peeled himself out of his jacket, now thoroughly soaked, and tossed it on the lone rocking chair that sat on the porch, rocking in the wind.

Tim knocked on the door. There was no answer. "Hello!", he yelled, "is anyone home?". He heard no movement and saw no one inside the house. He put his face to the window, in the hopes of seeing someone, but there was no one inside. He knocked again. "Hello, is anyone in there? My car broke down and I need to use a phone.". He knocked on the door again. Still, there was no movement from inside the cabin.

Tim tried in vain for 10 minutes, but still saw nor heard anyone inside the cabin. He tried the doorknob. It was unlocked. Tim stepped into the doorway, "Hello! Anyone home?", still nothing. "I'm sorry to just walk in like this, but no one answered when I knocked and I really need to use a phone. My car broke down and..." there was a thump from the kitchen.

Tim stepped into the door. "Hello!", he said again. There was still no answer, so Tim began to walk to the kitchen, which sat just on the other side of the small living room. "Hello. Is someone there? I am sorry to bother you....". Tim stepped around the small divide between the kitchen and living room. "Hello?".

Tim stopped cold as he stepped into the kitchen. There was no one there. "What the hell?", he mumbled under his breath. The door slammed shut behind him, causing his heart to skip a beat.
 Quoting: jacob 24804670


Before he could turn his head, he could feel someones breath on his neck. "God, what could that be," he thought. Then a voice behind him with a country accent says, "you in the wrong place boy."

From outside the cabin, a rusty primered grey four-wheeler with a full sized rebel flag pulls up. As the truck comes to a sudden stop, a cloud of dust is kicked up. The driver's side door opens and a couple of empty beer cans roll out. The passenger door opens and two somewhat drunken middle-aged men jump out. Then the driver gets out, in one hand a can of Bud, in the other a scalp with blonde hair. The driver sceams out, "yeeee haaaaw, we 'bout to have us one hell of a shindig, boys!"
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29687017
United States
12/22/2012 01:31 AM
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Re: Lemme tell ya a little story bout a guy named Tim
bump
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 10783814
United States
12/22/2012 01:35 AM
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Re: Lemme tell ya a little story bout a guy named Tim
I no like this story.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 20804567
United States
12/22/2012 01:38 AM
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Re: Lemme tell ya a little story bout a guy named Tim
I no like this story.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 10783814


timmy is that you?? well at least little tim is still able to use glp.. go on then...
Anonymous Coward
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United States
12/22/2012 01:47 AM
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Re: Lemme tell ya a little story bout a guy named Tim
I no like this story.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 10783814


Pussy!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 32558368
United States
01/29/2013 08:17 PM
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Re: Lemme tell ya a little story bout a guy named Tim
Cool story! Is the OP still here to finish it? Maybe some GLP'ers can help finish the story.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 20733751
United Arab Emirates
01/29/2013 08:21 PM
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Re: Lemme tell ya a little story bout a guy named Tim
Cool story! Is the OP still here to finish it? Maybe some GLP'ers can help finish the story.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32558368


Spoiler alert!! Tim dies in the end.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17974347
New Zealand
01/29/2013 08:22 PM
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Re: Lemme tell ya a little story bout a guy named Tim
As the truck comes to a sudden stop, a cloud of dust is kicked up.

.......Ummm.........it's raining!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 32558368
United States
01/29/2013 08:22 PM
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Re: Lemme tell ya a little story bout a guy named Tim
Cool story! Is the OP still here to finish it? Maybe some GLP'ers can help finish the story.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32558368


Spoiler alert!! Tim dies in the end.
 Quoting: Melton Mowbray


Nooooooo!!!!!!!
Anonymous Coward
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United States
01/29/2013 08:23 PM
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Re: Lemme tell ya a little story bout a guy named Tim
As the truck comes to a sudden stop, a cloud of dust is kicked up.

.......Ummm.........it's raining!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17974347


LOL, no shit. Maybe it was a cloud of marijuana smoke.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 33294695
Ireland
01/29/2013 08:24 PM
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Re: Lemme tell ya a little story bout a guy named Tim
I read this story

Little Tim used Krav Maga on the Rednecks and they can only drink their beer through straws now

cruise
Anonymous Coward
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United States
01/29/2013 08:26 PM
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Re: Lemme tell ya a little story bout a guy named Tim
I read this story

Little Tim used Krav Maga on the Rednecks and they can only drink their beer through straws now

cruise
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33294695


Krav! Right. One guy who knows Krav versus a bunch of rednecks with knives and guns. My money is on the rednecks. Besides, Krav is bullshit.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 33294695
Ireland
01/29/2013 08:29 PM
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Re: Lemme tell ya a little story bout a guy named Tim
Krav! Right. One guy who knows Krav versus a bunch of rednecks with knives and guns. My money is on the rednecks. Besides, Krav is bullshit.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32558368


There were only 2 rednecks

Krav is bullshit eh?

I could sever your heart from it's main arteries within 2 seconds thanks to the hand speed Krav enabled
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1411797
Canada
01/29/2013 08:29 PM
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Re: Lemme tell ya a little story bout a guy named Tim
"Joe, honey, I fixed it. It was just vapor lock."
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 32558368
United States
01/29/2013 08:32 PM
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Re: Lemme tell ya a little story bout a guy named Tim
Krav! Right. One guy who knows Krav versus a bunch of rednecks with knives and guns. My money is on the rednecks. Besides, Krav is bullshit.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32558368


There were only 2 rednecks

Krav is bullshit eh?

I could sever your heart from it's main arteries within 2 seconds thanks to the hand speed Krav enabled
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33294695


You've never been in a fight, have you? For your sake I hope you don't actually believe that because if you do you will get your ass seriously kicked in a real street fight.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
01/29/2013 08:33 PM
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Re: Lemme tell ya a little story bout a guy named Tim
"Joe, honey, I fixed it. It was just vapor lock."
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1411797


Vapor lock? What is this, the 1970s?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 32558368
United States
01/29/2013 08:34 PM
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Re: Lemme tell ya a little story bout a guy named Tim
Krav! Right. One guy who knows Krav versus a bunch of rednecks with knives and guns. My money is on the rednecks. Besides, Krav is bullshit.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32558368


There were only 2 rednecks

Krav is bullshit eh?

I could sever your heart from it's main arteries within 2 seconds thanks to the hand speed Krav enabled
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33294695


You've never been in a fight, have you? For your sake I hope you don't actually believe that because if you do you will get your ass seriously kicked in a real street fight.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32558368


There were actually at least four people. Two passengers in the truck, a driver, and someone inside the house.
Alexander

User ID: 15635858
United States
01/29/2013 08:35 PM

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Re: Lemme tell ya a little story bout a guy named Tim
'a cloud of dust is kicked up' in the pouring rain?
The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.
Winston Churchill

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Thread: ASS IS IN THE WRINGER - Rolling Updates from 11/16/20 to present (Page 235)
Anonymous Coward
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United States
01/29/2013 08:37 PM
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Re: Lemme tell ya a little story bout a guy named Tim
Krav! Right. One guy who knows Krav versus a bunch of rednecks with knives and guns. My money is on the rednecks. Besides, Krav is bullshit.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32558368


There were only 2 rednecks

Krav is bullshit eh?

I could sever your heart from it's main arteries within 2 seconds thanks to the hand speed Krav enabled
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33294695


LOL. Lookie here boys, we got Bruce McLee here.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1411797
Canada
01/29/2013 08:38 PM
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Re: Lemme tell ya a little story bout a guy named Tim
"Joe, honey, I fixed it. It was just vapor lock."
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1411797


Vapor lock? What is this, the 1970s?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32558368


lol It was a quote from the simpsons when Joe Namath's car breaks down in front of the house.
Brad Daylight

User ID: 1779676
United States
01/29/2013 08:39 PM
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Re: Lemme tell ya a little story bout a guy named Tim
I really thought this was going to be a post about gun control, LOL
"I have felt despair many times in my life, but I do not keep a chair for it."
~Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Today is a gift, that is why it is called "The Present"

“When an opponent declares, “I will not come over to your side,” I calmly say, “Your child belongs to us already… What are you? You will pass on. Your descendants, however, now stand in the new camp. In a short time they will know nothing else but this new community.”
- Adolf Hitler

“If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.”

-Oscar Wilde

Have a nice day, may God bless you :D
Anonymous Coward
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Ireland
01/29/2013 08:40 PM
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Re: Lemme tell ya a little story bout a guy named Tim
Krav! Right. One guy who knows Krav versus a bunch of rednecks with knives and guns. My money is on the rednecks. Besides, Krav is bullshit.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32558368


There were only 2 rednecks

Krav is bullshit eh?

I could sever your heart from it's main arteries within 2 seconds thanks to the hand speed Krav enabled
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33294695


LOL. Lookie here boys, we got Bruce McLee here.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30981074


5a
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1411797
Canada
01/29/2013 08:43 PM
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Re: Lemme tell ya a little story bout a guy named Tim


Road House
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 32558368
United States
01/29/2013 08:45 PM
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Re: Lemme tell ya a little story bout a guy named Tim
Krav! Right. One guy who knows Krav versus a bunch of rednecks with knives and guns. My money is on the rednecks. Besides, Krav is bullshit.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32558368


There were only 2 rednecks

Krav is bullshit eh?

I could sever your heart from it's main arteries within 2 seconds thanks to the hand speed Krav enabled
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 33294695


LOL. Lookie here boys, we got Bruce McLee here.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30981074


More like Bruce Leroy.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
01/29/2013 08:45 PM
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Re: Lemme tell ya a little story bout a guy named Tim
"Joe, honey, I fixed it. It was just vapor lock."
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1411797


Vapor lock? What is this, the 1970s?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32558368


lol It was a quote from the simpsons when Joe Namath's car breaks down in front of the house.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1411797


Awesome! 1970's athlete, 1970's piece of shit car.





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