Talkinghands I am losing hope here. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25852672
I lived through ethnic cleansing. Survived a major earthquake. Fractured both of my hips. Then later found out that I have a brain tumor. I just turned 30 and I am tired of life. On top of that. A veteran with a college degree who doesnt have a great job. Living paycheck to paycheck.
No, I dont want anyone to feel sorry for me. There are other people far worse off than me.
If anything good is coming into my life... I would like to know it.
You trust your ability to muse protects you and it does but it wears you down internally.
You have chosen to pay the price, as it is a calling. Yet you cannot help yourself.
You know that for yourself there is really no other alternative, you are stuck with being you.
Regardless of your dreams about living an alternative way, you know that you would not have changed any decisions made or will not compromise yourself in any future decisions.
Sometimes you see danger where there is none, other times you do not see danger when it is in your face. You are blind to your own dilemma.
Your dreams will manifest when you allow yourself what muses cannot. Break the mold. You risk all the time yet willnot risk trust. At the first hint of rejection... you close the door. You never allow yourself the risk of being hurt. That fear stifles you.