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Melba Ketchum confirms Bigfoot exist from DNA - press release

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 14443159
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11/25/2012 04:34 AM
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Re: Melba Ketchum confirms Bigfoot exist from DNA - press release
Smallfeet will come to a primary school near yours. Bigfeet will be elected mayors by 2020. Presidential debate will be black vs bigfeet by 2050.

5a:african:5a
0112358

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11/25/2012 04:48 AM
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Re: Melba Ketchum confirms Bigfoot exist from DNA - press release
I was walking in a grass field surrounded by forests in northwest Washington state. There were 3 deer grazing in front to my left. There were birds calling from all around, and whizzing through the air. There were bugs emitting a constant buzz and click. There was wind rustling the trees and grass.

All of a sudden, as I spotted a mushroom on the ground, everything silenced. I mean everything. Wind, bugs, birds, even the deer stopped eating and turned their heads to gaze in one direction, ears perked forward.

It felt synonymous to being in the eye of a storm. The deepest silence I had encountered since tubing 3 miles on a narrow river, deep into a pitch black cave. The moment seemed to last forever.

The deer were focused on a spot to my right, and I followed their gaze. I saw a broad dark body emerge above the level of the grass, and two haired muscular arms extend outward in a stretching motion as the body rose.

At this point the organism scanned its surroundings, facing first to it's left, and then to its right. As it's head moved right it's eyes intersected mine (our two heads, with the deer making 5, were quite pronounced in the grass), and I was pierced by the most intensely inquisitive stare that I had theretofore experienced. The face seemed to tighten into a human-like expression when it caught sight of me. The color of the skin on the face was in-between pink and brown, and only it's nose, ears, eyes, lips, and innermost cheeks were free of hair. The face was very human, except the width of the nose and the breadth of the lips.

I kept my eyes on it, while not staring it straight in the eyes for more than a few moments at a time. Each time I let my eyes fall to the ground it would take a couple of bipedal steps in my direction, parting the grass with it's hands clasped in a 'V' in front of it.

I stepped forward as well, and soon we were no more than 10 paces away from each other. I can not describe it's facial expression as anything but inquisitive. It was as though every motion I made was perceived and measured.

You have seen pictures, so you have an approximate conception of what it looks like, but I know I would have difficulty imagining what it felt like. I didn't know who was who. Who runs this show? Who has the edge? Who is smartest? In an instant my answers were shuffled, and I was greatly humbled.

It was almost as though it and I reached the same understanding at the same time. I breathed deeply, and it did the same, raising it's shoulders on the in-breath. I felt compelled to look down, to show respect. And it felt the same thing. And we bowed to each other with our eyes, and then it turned around and walked back to where it was.

When it returned to it's spot it bent over and picked something up, and then continued walking on, soon reaching the edge of the woods. It stopped just a moment at the edge, not turning, only paused. And then it proceeded on forward into the trees.

Coolest experience ever. And no one will believe me!

Muahahaahaha life is sweet.

Last Edited by 0112358 on 11/25/2012 04:51 AM
Spittin'Cesium

User ID: 14589973
Netherlands
11/25/2012 05:35 AM
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Re: Melba Ketchum confirms Bigfoot exist from DNA - press release
all wihout any bigfoot dna.

how come they can find hominid skeletons from the last 200,000+ yrs but not one

scrap of bigfoot bone ever?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28407761


How many mountain lion bones do "they" have? How about a skeleton from a panda?

Do you know when the panda was officially discovered and recognized? About 100 years ago.

Do you know how long people were searching for the panda before that? About 60 years. Nobody believed it existed.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24760791


How about a Trackmark with ample DNA recoverable or a giant Yeti Poo sample!?

Surely they shit in the Forest Sherlock?

Edit:Highlighted,thank you,I didn't actually know that Factoid.

Vielen Danke.

Last Edited by Spittin'Cesium on 11/25/2012 05:37 AM
The thing that hath been,
is That which shall be;
and that which is done is that which shall be done:and there is no new thing under the Sun.
Ecclesiastes 9:1
Spittin'Cesium

User ID: 14589973
Netherlands
11/25/2012 05:40 AM
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Re: Melba Ketchum confirms Bigfoot exist from DNA - press release
There is soooo much anecdotal sightings and encounters of bigfoot, yeti, sasquatch etc that there must be something to it - the DNA analysis seems to be kosher on the face of it.


And yet.....................it is simply not plausible that these critters,who have generated so much interest, could remain so hidden for so long, without definite proof.

Unless they have some sort of interdimensional abilities.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28370659


There has been definite proof, but nobody believes it.

They are highly intelligent animals adapted to survival in heavily forested areas, and are masters of stealth. If you go looking for one, you are entering THEIR home environment. They will know you are coming from miles way. And they know how to avoid detection
.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24760791


Then why aren't they Green?

You'd have though a stealthy Forest dweller would blend into its' surroundings?
The thing that hath been,
is That which shall be;
and that which is done is that which shall be done:and there is no new thing under the Sun.
Ecclesiastes 9:1
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28399737
Australia
11/25/2012 06:07 AM
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Re: Melba Ketchum confirms Bigfoot exist from DNA - press release
Maybe they live underground.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25788477


i think so too.
Baconspiracist

User ID: 27008657
Germany
11/25/2012 07:05 AM

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Re: Melba Ketchum confirms Bigfoot exist from DNA - press release
I was walking in a grass field surrounded by forests in northwest Washington state. There were 3 deer grazing in front to my left. There were birds calling from all around, and whizzing through the air. There were bugs emitting a constant buzz and click. There was wind rustling the trees and grass.

All of a sudden, as I spotted a mushroom on the ground, everything silenced. I mean everything. Wind, bugs, birds, even the deer stopped eating and turned their heads to gaze in one direction, ears perked forward.

It felt synonymous to being in the eye of a storm. The deepest silence I had encountered since tubing 3 miles on a narrow river, deep into a pitch black cave. The moment seemed to last forever.

The deer were focused on a spot to my right, and I followed their gaze. I saw a broad dark body emerge above the level of the grass, and two haired muscular arms extend outward in a stretching motion as the body rose.

At this point the organism scanned its surroundings, facing first to it's left, and then to its right. As it's head moved right it's eyes intersected mine (our two heads, with the deer making 5, were quite pronounced in the grass), and I was pierced by the most intensely inquisitive stare that I had theretofore experienced. The face seemed to tighten into a human-like expression when it caught sight of me. The color of the skin on the face was in-between pink and brown, and only it's nose, ears, eyes, lips, and innermost cheeks were free of hair. The face was very human, except the width of the nose and the breadth of the lips.

I kept my eyes on it, while not staring it straight in the eyes for more than a few moments at a time. Each time I let my eyes fall to the ground it would take a couple of bipedal steps in my direction, parting the grass with it's hands clasped in a 'V' in front of it.

I stepped forward as well, and soon we were no more than 10 paces away from each other. I can not describe it's facial expression as anything but inquisitive. It was as though every motion I made was perceived and measured.

You have seen pictures, so you have an approximate conception of what it looks like, but I know I would have difficulty imagining what it felt like. I didn't know who was who. Who runs this show? Who has the edge? Who is smartest? In an instant my answers were shuffled, and I was greatly humbled.

It was almost as though it and I reached the same understanding at the same time. I breathed deeply, and it did the same, raising it's shoulders on the in-breath. I felt compelled to look down, to show respect. And it felt the same thing. And we bowed to each other with our eyes, and then it turned around and walked back to where it was.

When it returned to it's spot it bent over and picked something up, and then continued walking on, soon reaching the edge of the woods. It stopped just a moment at the edge, not turning, only paused. And then it proceeded on forward into the trees.

Coolest experience ever. And no one will believe me!

Muahahaahaha life is sweet.
 Quoting: 0112358



blink

Wow!!!
Believe Nothing - Question Everything
JBG
User ID: 28370659
United Kingdom
11/25/2012 07:36 AM
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Re: Melba Ketchum confirms Bigfoot exist from DNA - press release
'All of a sudden, as I spotted a mushroom on the ground, everything silenced. I mean everything. Wind, bugs, birds, even the deer stopped eating and turned their heads to gaze in one direction, ears perked forward.

It felt synonymous to being in the eye of a storm. The deepest silence I had encountered since tubing 3 miles on a narrow river, deep into a pitch black cave. The moment seemed to last forever.'


Note - that 'silence' where every thing just seems to stop is a classic hallmark of 'non ordinary reality' experiences.
page8844
User ID: 27778077
United States
11/25/2012 09:46 AM
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Re: Melba Ketchum confirms Bigfoot exist from DNA - press release
And why only ONE fucking footprint at a time, if they are that big you would see hundreds, especially in the rain and snow. Man people will believe anything these days.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27778077


What the hell are you talking about, one footprint at a time?

None of you even know what you're talking about. Try researching the field yourself before making posting shit about which you have no clue.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24760791


LOL researching the field. There is no Fucking proof you moran. My only regret is that I didn't jump on the bandwagon and make some money on this. This DNA from hair, they are only assuming where it came from. This world is a circus.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23182389
United States
11/25/2012 11:37 AM
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Re: Melba Ketchum confirms Bigfoot exist from DNA - press release
And why only ONE fucking footprint at a time, if they are that big you would see hundreds, especially in the rain and snow. Man people will believe anything these days.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27778077


What the hell are you talking about, one footprint at a time?

None of you even know what you're talking about. Try researching the field yourself before making posting shit about which you have no clue.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24760791


LOL researching the field. There is no Fucking proof you moran. My only regret is that I didn't jump on the bandwagon and make some money on this. This DNA from hair, they are only assuming where it came from. This world is a circus.
 Quoting: page8844 27778077


You're not very bright...

I bet you didn't even look into the history behind the recovery of hairs left behind that was used for DNA testing...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23182389
United States
11/25/2012 11:42 AM
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Re: Melba Ketchum confirms Bigfoot exist from DNA - press release
all wihout any bigfoot dna.

how come they can find hominid skeletons from the last 200,000+ yrs but not one

scrap of bigfoot bone ever?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28407761


putin

Learn how to do a proper research and also improve your reading comprehension...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 16229202
United States
11/25/2012 12:42 PM
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Re: Melba Ketchum confirms Bigfoot exist from DNA - press release
There is soooo much anecdotal sightings and encounters of bigfoot, yeti, sasquatch etc that there must be something to it - the DNA analysis seems to be kosher on the face of it.


And yet.....................it is simply not plausible that these critters,who have generated so much interest, could remain so hidden for so long, without definite proof.

Unless they have some sort of interdimensional abilities.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28370659


There has been definite proof, but nobody believes it.

They are highly intelligent animals adapted to survival in heavily forested areas, and are masters of stealth. If you go looking for one, you are entering THEIR home environment. They will know you are coming from miles way. And they know how to avoid detection
.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24760791


Then why aren't they Green?

You'd have though a stealthy Forest dweller would blend into its' surroundings?
 Quoting: Spittin'Cesium


What's the other predominant color is a forest? the one that doesn't change with the season? stupid hobbit
Spittin'Cesium

User ID: 14589973
Netherlands
11/25/2012 03:37 PM
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Re: Melba Ketchum confirms Bigfoot exist from DNA - press release
There is soooo much anecdotal sightings and encounters of bigfoot, yeti, sasquatch etc that there must be something to it - the DNA analysis seems to be kosher on the face of it.


And yet.....................it is simply not plausible that these critters,who have generated so much interest, could remain so hidden for so long, without definite proof.

Unless they have some sort of interdimensional abilities.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28370659


There has been definite proof, but nobody believes it.

They are highly intelligent animals adapted to survival in heavily forested areas, and are masters of stealth. If you go looking for one, you are entering THEIR home environment. They will know you are coming from miles way. And they know how to avoid detection
.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24760791


Then why aren't they Green?

You'd have though a stealthy Forest dweller would blend into its' surroundings?
 Quoting: Spittin'Cesium


What's the other predominant color is a forest? the one that doesn't change with the season? stupid hobbit
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 16229202


You know what?

I give in,what is the other predominant Color in the Forest apart from Green?

I have never heard of a Red/Orange/Ginger Sasquatch before,you tell me 'What's the other predominant color is(sic)a Forest'?

Respect.
The thing that hath been,
is That which shall be;
and that which is done is that which shall be done:and there is no new thing under the Sun.
Ecclesiastes 9:1
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27955255
Hungary
11/25/2012 03:53 PM
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Re: Melba Ketchum confirms Bigfoot exist from DNA - press release
all wihout any bigfoot dna.

how come they can find hominid skeletons from the last 200,000+ yrs but not one

scrap of bigfoot bone ever?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28407761


Stop asking inconvenient questions.
They're probably cannibals - bones, hair and sll.
3bbb

User ID: 505305
United States
11/25/2012 04:12 PM
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Re: Melba Ketchum confirms Bigfoot exist from DNA - press release
Must have been aweful cold for a damn Martian to cuddled up
with an ape. I swear them aliens will fuck anything.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25646201
United States
11/26/2012 12:23 AM
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Re: Melba Ketchum confirms Bigfoot exist from DNA - press release
Alien hybrids.
 Quoting: WISC


^^^yup^^^
 Quoting: BRIEF


the bigfoots where brung here yep.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 16973401
United States
11/26/2012 08:08 AM
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Re: Melba Ketchum confirms Bigfoot exist from DNA - press release
Questions about the origin of the hair samples?

It doesn't matter does it? If somebody's "uncle" found it in the lint filter of their clothes dryer or if a field botanist tweezed it off the bark of a gray alder tree in Idaho, the results that say "hybrid cross of modern Homo sapiens with an unknown primate species" stll means "hybrid cross of modern Homo sapiens with an unknown primate species".

The freaking origin is "a novel, unknown hominin" that must exist.

And as for the idiot who thinks the "info came from a blog"...the info did NOT come from a blog. The info has been passed around from the ORIGINAL source to many blogs and other sites. Why do people think that the page they're reading at the moment is always "the source". Idiots.
[link to www.dnadiagnostics.com]

How about this...DNA is information.
Analysis of DNA describes what that information is.
The SOURCE of the description provided by the analysis IS THE DNA.
If the description yields "hybrid cross of modern Homo sapiens with an unknown primate species" it is about as conclusive proof as one can get that the samples analyzed are from a unique being.

Geez, I swear, this site gets more and more truly stupid people on it all the time.

DNA Diagnostics, Inc.™ came into existence in 1985, under the name of Shelterwood Laboratories, at that time, a sole proprietorship. It remained as such until 1990, at which time it was chartered under the name of DNA Diagnostics, Inc.™. There is a certificate on file that provides for DNA Diagnostics, Inc.™ to do business as Shelterwood Laboratories, and that Shelterwood Laboratories is a division of DNA Diagnostics, Inc.™ relating to animal genetic testing. Since that time, and in fact since 1993, DNA Diagnostics, Inc.™ has expanded services to include human DNA testing including human forensics and paternity testing. The staff at DNA Diagnostics, Inc.™ also has published research on a continuing basis since 1988.

Shelterwood Laboratories was originally established as an immunogenetic and diagnostic laboratory specializing in veterinary diagnostics and equine genetic and immunological studies. Since that time, Shelterwood Laboratories now incorporated as DNA Diagnostics, Inc.™, has evolved into a laboratory that provides multi-species testing including human as well as animal DNA testing for individuals, law enforcement, breed associations, and state regulatory agencies. DNA Diagnostics is a member of The International Society of Animal Genetics (ISAG) as an institutional member. Shelterwood Laboratories/DNA Diagnostics, Inc.™ participates in both human and animal proficiency testing. In addition, Shelterwood Laboratories/DNA Diagnostics. Inc.™ had the honor of serving as the duty laboratory for the 1996 ISAG international equine proficiency test and the 1997 SWIGDAM human proficiency test. This assures that all of our testing is of the highest quality and the staff at DNA Diagnostics, Inc.™ is eminently qualified to provide superior DNA testing services to our clients. The laboratory facilities are designed to meet the demands of high volume contract service work. DNA Diagnostics,™ is completely computerized with networked database systems specifically designed for handling high volume genetic testing. Additionally, the unquestionable quality of the staff, state of the art instrumentation and modern facilities puts DNA Diagnostics, Inc.™ on the cutting edge of technology in DNA testing.
[link to www.dnadiagnostics.com]

This company has been doing high quality work since before most of the idiots posting here were born.





GLP