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Say YES to God and NO to masturbation

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1580790
United Kingdom
11/24/2012 06:17 PM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
I find the thrill of annoying god whilst he watches me rub one out extremely exciting, I imagine him wanting to touch me, but he can't, because he's not real and therefore has no fingers.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28383571
Denmark
11/24/2012 06:18 PM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
For instance, it wouldn't be comfortable and convenient for the fantatic religtard to have to kill most of his neighbors and family by fully obeying Leviticus' laws so he disregards them saying that Jesus Christ brought a new covenant and those laws are not necessary anymore. But if the religtard doesn't like homosexuals then he will quote Leviticus and Deuteronomy and all those old books anyway as well as any other little law that the religtard wishes to implement. And when asked they will quote Jesus saying that the law won't pass away until the end of times.

In conclusion there's always some way to justify some shit you want to implement while forbidding something you're against using the Bible, and nothing really needs to make sense, you just pick and choose and make up justifications along the way.
 Quoting: Manu-Koelbren


So then why is there so mutch hate on homo sexuals, from non religius people?
Manu-Koelbren

User ID: 1092220
United States
11/24/2012 06:20 PM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
Romans 6:15

No, we should strive to not sin, but guess what? You, me and every other person from Adam forward sins...it's our nature since the fall of man.

Don't worry, God is not suprised when we sin. Some "believers" claim that they do not sin. They are making God a liar in that case. For those who claim to be believers and that they don't sin, just check yourself against 1 Cor. 13. Are you always patient and kind? Ever lust or envy? Keep records of others wrong doings? Read the whole chapter. We in our human efforts fail pretty much continually.

There must be a complete understanding of the old vs. new covenants. The old has gone; Christ ushered in THE new covenant. We are living under the new. He was the only person who could fulfill the law.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 18767016


Yet there's bits on the NT that say that you shouldn't sin or else you won't go to heaven. In fact Jesus' teachings were all about not doing certain things or else you wouldn't be saved.

So you see the whole damned thing doesn't make any fucking sense. ahhhhh
"White privilege" is the liberal religion's version of Original Sin: you are born guilty, and you carry that burden of guilt all your life, and the only way to escape eternal damnation is for white people confess their sin, to bow, kneel and believe the dogma of the Church of Liberalism, genuflect at its altars, honor its saints, fill the collection plate, and never, ever doubt.

-- Dixon Diaz
Manu-Koelbren

User ID: 1092220
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11/24/2012 06:22 PM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
For instance, it wouldn't be comfortable and convenient for the fantatic religtard to have to kill most of his neighbors and family by fully obeying Leviticus' laws so he disregards them saying that Jesus Christ brought a new covenant and those laws are not necessary anymore. But if the religtard doesn't like homosexuals then he will quote Leviticus and Deuteronomy and all those old books anyway as well as any other little law that the religtard wishes to implement. And when asked they will quote Jesus saying that the law won't pass away until the end of times.

In conclusion there's always some way to justify some shit you want to implement while forbidding something you're against using the Bible, and nothing really needs to make sense, you just pick and choose and make up justifications along the way.
 Quoting: Manu-Koelbren


So then why is there so mutch hate on homo sexuals, from non religius people?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28383571


People, religious or not, will always hate, because people naturally find some things repulsive. The gay dislike was always there, now they have subsided it a bit with the new Marxist indoctrination but they won't be able to stifle it forever. I do not know why gays are hated so much but it may have to do with the fact that they're seen as contrary to the traditional family unit that has held civilization together for many thousands of years. People see them as a threat to the fabric of society, and they did back then too when the Levites wrote their myths.
"White privilege" is the liberal religion's version of Original Sin: you are born guilty, and you carry that burden of guilt all your life, and the only way to escape eternal damnation is for white people confess their sin, to bow, kneel and believe the dogma of the Church of Liberalism, genuflect at its altars, honor its saints, fill the collection plate, and never, ever doubt.

-- Dixon Diaz
Understudy
User ID: 28388017
United Kingdom
11/24/2012 06:26 PM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
Romans 6:15

No, we should strive to not sin, but guess what? You, me and every other person from Adam forward sins...it's our nature since the fall of man.

Don't worry, God is not suprised when we sin. Some "believers" claim that they do not sin. They are making God a liar in that case. For those who claim to be believers and that they don't sin, just check yourself against 1 Cor. 13. Are you always patient and kind? Ever lust or envy? Keep records of others wrong doings? Read the whole chapter. We in our human efforts fail pretty much continually.

There must be a complete understanding of the old vs. new covenants. The old has gone; Christ ushered in THE new covenant. We are living under the new. He was the only person who could fulfill the law.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 18767016


you do get eternal security for being a believer, but you will wait in HELL to collect it, at your white throne, LAKE OF FIRE judgement. the problem with believers is they dont know the difference between HELL and THE LAKE OF FIRE. (study to show youself approved)
ILUVJ9

User ID: 1715786
United States
11/24/2012 06:26 PM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
God hates when you touch yourself more than anything. If you continue to touch yourself and turn your back on God, he will soon turn his back on you. You will be given the everlasting life you deserve, in HELL. Even children do not get a pass from God on this disgusting sin. If you wish to walk forever with our Lord in the Kingdom of Heaven, you can not touch yourself EVER. Please remember that and don't be surprised when you burn forever in the afterlife.
 Quoting: TRUE Believer 28363197


You must be trolling... You sir are the one sinning.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28400788
South Africa
11/24/2012 06:28 PM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
God is a strange motherfucker! Here, have a dick (pussy) but just don't for the love of me, ever touch it too much!!!
You fuckers crack me up!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28383571
Denmark
11/24/2012 06:30 PM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
For instance, it wouldn't be comfortable and convenient for the fantatic religtard to have to kill most of his neighbors and family by fully obeying Leviticus' laws so he disregards them saying that Jesus Christ brought a new covenant and those laws are not necessary anymore. But if the religtard doesn't like homosexuals then he will quote Leviticus and Deuteronomy and all those old books anyway as well as any other little law that the religtard wishes to implement. And when asked they will quote Jesus saying that the law won't pass away until the end of times.

In conclusion there's always some way to justify some shit you want to implement while forbidding something you're against using the Bible, and nothing really needs to make sense, you just pick and choose and make up justifications along the way.
 Quoting: Manu-Koelbren


So then why is there so mutch hate on homo sexuals, from non religius people?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28383571


People, religious or not, will always hate, because people naturally find some things repulsive. The gay dislike was always there, now they have subsided it a bit with the new Marxist indoctrination but they won't be able to stifle it forever. I do not know why gays are hated so much but it may have to do with the fact that they're seen as contrary to the traditional family unit that has held civilization together for many thousands of years. People see them as a threat to the fabric of society, and they did back then too when the Levites wrote their myths.
 Quoting: Manu-Koelbren


But civilisation is huge now +7 billion people its pretty sturdy, and more women for the singles
So yea well its mood thing i gues
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28383571
Denmark
11/24/2012 06:32 PM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
For instance, it wouldn't be comfortable and convenient for the fantatic religtard to have to kill most of his neighbors and family by fully obeying Leviticus' laws so he disregards them saying that Jesus Christ brought a new covenant and those laws are not necessary anymore. But if the religtard doesn't like homosexuals then he will quote Leviticus and Deuteronomy and all those old books anyway as well as any other little law that the religtard wishes to implement. And when asked they will quote Jesus saying that the law won't pass away until the end of times.

In conclusion there's always some way to justify some shit you want to implement while forbidding something you're against using the Bible, and nothing really needs to make sense, you just pick and choose and make up justifications along the way.
 Quoting: Manu-Koelbren


So then why is there so mutch hate on homo sexuals, from non religius people?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28383571


People, religious or not, will always hate, because people naturally find some things repulsive. The gay dislike was always there, now they have subsided it a bit with the new Marxist indoctrination but they won't be able to stifle it forever. I do not know why gays are hated so much but it may have to do with the fact that they're seen as contrary to the traditional family unit that has held civilization together for many thousands of years. People see them as a threat to the fabric of society, and they did back then too when the Levites wrote their myths.
 Quoting: Manu-Koelbren


But civilisation is huge now +7 billion people its pretty sturdy, and more women for the singles
So yea well its mood thing i gues
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28383571


And the word itself religius is associated with religions and books, books aside maybe there is more than meets the eye before the ink.
nosheeples
User ID: 15684211
Canada
11/24/2012 06:33 PM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
damn i wish that all religions will just vanish from the face of the earth! the world is not in dangers because of all the perverts but because religion creates pervert and insanity, extreme fanatics is the reason why the world is in deep shits!just whorship your bullshit and leave us alone! god has no boundaries shapes or form, true god is the creation and the infinite universe, and all her beauty, you are worse than the one you call animals in gaza and the middle east, goddamn hypocrite.


iamwith
Hardwired

User ID: 27975700
United States
11/24/2012 06:35 PM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
Can I get one more fap session in before I say YES?

Just one?headbang
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 18767016
United States
11/24/2012 06:38 PM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
Romans 6:15

No, we should strive to not sin, but guess what? You, me and every other person from Adam forward sins...it's our nature since the fall of man.

Don't worry, God is not suprised when we sin. Some "believers" claim that they do not sin. They are making God a liar in that case. For those who claim to be believers and that they don't sin, just check yourself against 1 Cor. 13. Are you always patient and kind? Ever lust or envy? Keep records of others wrong doings? Read the whole chapter. We in our human efforts fail pretty much continually.

There must be a complete understanding of the old vs. new covenants. The old has gone; Christ ushered in THE new covenant. We are living under the new. He was the only person who could fulfill the law.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 18767016


you do get eternal security for being a believer, but you will wait in HELL to collect it, at your white throne, LAKE OF FIRE judgement. the problem with believers is they dont know the difference between HELL and THE LAKE OF FIRE. (study to show youself approved)
 Quoting: Understudy 28388017


Why do people try to make the simple understanding of God's plan of salvation so difficult? It's a simple act of choosing to believe the gospel. It's not how good or bad you are: it's how DEAD you are to God spiritually.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1430199
United States
11/24/2012 06:42 PM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
Now this is a quality GLP thread. We need lots more just like it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28383571
Denmark
11/24/2012 06:45 PM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
Now this is a quality GLP thread. We need lots more just like it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1430199


indeed
cool2
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21560902
United States
11/24/2012 06:47 PM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
maybe if god fired one of once in a while he wouldn't be such an uptight prick
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 14717007


Now this would make a great T-shirt!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28406485
Germany
11/24/2012 06:50 PM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
The Christian God is a mass-murderous wanker.

Much worse than being just a standard wanker.

--> God's going to burn in hell. Serves the fucker right.

whatever
Understudy
User ID: 28388017
United Kingdom
11/24/2012 06:52 PM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
Romans 6:15

No, we should strive to not sin, but guess what? You, me and every other person from Adam forward sins...it's our nature since the fall of man.

Don't worry, God is not suprised when we sin. Some "believers" claim that they do not sin. They are making God a liar in that case. For those who claim to be believers and that they don't sin, just check yourself against 1 Cor. 13. Are you always patient and kind? Ever lust or envy? Keep records of others wrong doings? Read the whole chapter. We in our human efforts fail pretty much continually.

There must be a complete understanding of the old vs. new covenants. The old has gone; Christ ushered in THE new covenant. We are living under the new. He was the only person who could fulfill the law.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 18767016


you do get eternal security for being a believer, but you will wait in HELL to collect it, at your white throne, LAKE OF FIRE judgement. the problem with believers is they dont know the difference between HELL and THE LAKE OF FIRE. (study to show youself approved)
 Quoting: Understudy 28388017


Why do people try to make the simple understanding of God's plan of salvation so difficult? It's a simple act of choosing to believe the gospel. It's not how good or bad you are: it's how DEAD you are to God spiritually.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 18767016


I presume you mean apostle paul makes it difficult understand, for its paul who tells timothy Study to show thyself approved unto God.
Perseus7

User ID: 28260886
United States
11/24/2012 06:53 PM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
jerkit jerkit jerkit jerkit jerkit jerkit jerkit jerkit jerkit jerkit jerkit jerkit jerkit jerkit jerkit jerkit jerkit jerkit jerkit jerkit
1s 2s 2p 3s 3p 4s 3d 4p 5s 4d 5p 6s 4f 5d 6p 7s 5f 6d 7p
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24909641
Australia
11/24/2012 06:55 PM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
The dear lord created my hand and my penis he made it so that both were able to move, one that is more sensitive than the other. Go figure that one out.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28391947


You, my child, are a lost soul. I'll pray for your family while you assuredly burn for eternity.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28363197


You condemn so quickly before even knowing anything of ones situation. You have a fetish of flame and hell fire. You are disturbed.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28391947


sounds lilke it
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27936947
United States
11/24/2012 07:14 PM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
...


Yes, it was meant to be derogatory, and I don't give a shit what idiots like you think.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27936947


Well, your mother sucks muslim cocks in hell.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28382571


And this makes you look very intelligent. Fuck off you filthy pig.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27936947


Fuck a filthy pig you racist shit head.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28382571


Did you just say you wanted me to fuck you? Not gonna happen.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28411720
Sweden
11/24/2012 07:46 PM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
Maybe God should stop touching himself.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1129812
United States
11/24/2012 08:08 PM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
There's something inherently wrong with your logic. And...I think YOU KNOW what it is that is wrong with YOUR LOGIC. Therefore, we probably don't even need to debate this.

You'd better look at bit harder at YOURSELF instead of telling people what they should, or shouldn't do. wink
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27933314
United States
11/25/2012 12:46 AM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
For instance, it wouldn't be comfortable and convenient for the fantatic religtard to have to kill most of his neighbors and family by fully obeying Leviticus' laws so he disregards them saying that Jesus Christ brought a new covenant and those laws are not necessary anymore. But if the religtard doesn't like homosexuals then he will quote Leviticus and Deuteronomy and all those old books anyway as well as any other little law that the religtard wishes to implement. And when asked they will quote Jesus saying that the law won't pass away until the end of times.

In conclusion there's always some way to justify some shit you want to implement while forbidding something you're against using the Bible, and nothing really needs to make sense, you just pick and choose and make up justifications along the way.
 Quoting: Manu-Koelbren


So then why is there so mutch hate on homo sexuals, from non religius people?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28383571


People, religious or not, will always hate, because people naturally find some things repulsive. The gay dislike was always there, now they have subsided it a bit with the new Marxist indoctrination but they won't be able to stifle it forever. I do not know why gays are hated so much but it may have to do with the fact that they're seen as contrary to the traditional family unit that has held civilization together for many thousands of years. People see them as a threat to the fabric of society, and they did back then too when the Levites wrote their myths.
 Quoting: Manu-Koelbren


you are so full of shit. "gays have subsided with the marxist indoctrination" what the fuck is that supposed to mean? do you even know any gay people or for that do you even know any marxists? i am a liberal and hang out with alot of gays and i dont know any marxists. you fear gays because they threaten your masculinity and deep down you have something to hide. get over it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27531391
United States
11/25/2012 12:55 AM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
OP, you're not one of those street preachers, are you?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28394846
United States
11/25/2012 12:57 AM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
God hates when you touch yourself more than anything. If you continue to touch yourself and turn your back on God, he will soon turn his back on you. You will be given the everlasting life you deserve, in HELL. Even children do not get a pass from God on this disgusting sin. If you wish to walk forever with our Lord in the Kingdom of Heaven, you can not touch yourself EVER. Please remember that and don't be surprised when you burn forever in the afterlife.
 Quoting: TRUE Believer 28363197


Are you without sin?
Didn't think so..quit casting stones
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28394846
United States
11/25/2012 12:59 AM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
The Christian God is a mass-murderous wanker.

Much worse than being just a standard wanker.

--> God's going to burn in hell. Serves the fucker right.

whatever
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28406485


Wow..another angry butthurt atheist on the internet?
Who woulda thought?
Prostetnik

User ID: 28421848
Canada
11/25/2012 01:06 AM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
why is god so angry?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 14717007


Because people masturbate instead of having regular reproductive sex.
Manu-Koelbren

User ID: 28195120
Spain
11/25/2012 02:20 AM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
For instance, it wouldn't be comfortable and convenient for the fantatic religtard to have to kill most of his neighbors and family by fully obeying Leviticus' laws so he disregards them saying that Jesus Christ brought a new covenant and those laws are not necessary anymore. But if the religtard doesn't like homosexuals then he will quote Leviticus and Deuteronomy and all those old books anyway as well as any other little law that the religtard wishes to implement. And when asked they will quote Jesus saying that the law won't pass away until the end of times.

In conclusion there's always some way to justify some shit you want to implement while forbidding something you're against using the Bible, and nothing really needs to make sense, you just pick and choose and make up justifications along the way.
 Quoting: Manu-Koelbren


So then why is there so mutch hate on homo sexuals, from non religius people?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28383571


People, religious or not, will always hate, because people naturally find some things repulsive. The gay dislike was always there, now they have subsided it a bit with the new Marxist indoctrination but they won't be able to stifle it forever. I do not know why gays are hated so much but it may have to do with the fact that they're seen as contrary to the traditional family unit that has held civilization together for many thousands of years. People see them as a threat to the fabric of society, and they did back then too when the Levites wrote their myths.
 Quoting: Manu-Koelbren


you are so full of shit. "gays have subsided with the marxist indoctrination" what the fuck is that supposed to mean? do you even know any gay people or for that do you even know any marxists? i am a liberal and hang out with alot of gays and i dont know any marxists. you fear gays because they threaten your masculinity and deep down you have something to hide. get over it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27933314


You're so full of fail sheepy, I am not even wasting my time, buy yourself some reading comprehension whenever you can.

Last Edited by Manu-K on 11/25/2012 02:56 AM
"White privilege" is the liberal religion's version of Original Sin: you are born guilty, and you carry that burden of guilt all your life, and the only way to escape eternal damnation is for white people confess their sin, to bow, kneel and believe the dogma of the Church of Liberalism, genuflect at its altars, honor its saints, fill the collection plate, and never, ever doubt.

-- Dixon Diaz
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26942608
Canada
11/25/2012 02:50 AM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
God hates when you touch yourself more than anything. If you continue to touch yourself and turn your back on God, he will soon turn his back on you. You will be given the everlasting life you deserve, in HELL. Even children do not get a pass from God on this disgusting sin. If you wish to walk forever with our Lord in the Kingdom of Heaven, you can not touch yourself EVER. Please remember that and don't be surprised when you burn forever in the afterlife.
 Quoting: TRUE Believer 28363197


Very true, I am sure he is so mush happier watching me get sucked off.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22787868
Canada
11/25/2012 02:57 AM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
God hates when you touch yourself more than anything. If you continue to touch yourself and turn your back on God, he will soon turn his back on you. You will be given the everlasting life you deserve, in HELL. Even children do not get a pass from God on this disgusting sin. If you wish to walk forever with our Lord in the Kingdom of Heaven, you can not touch yourself EVER. Please remember that and don't be surprised when you burn forever in the afterlife.
 Quoting: TRUE Believer 28363197


Who do you say is God?

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