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Say YES to God and NO to masturbation

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1465884
United States
11/26/2012 03:44 AM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
You know, whether you go to heaven or hell has nothing to do with how good or bad you are.
IsayNotoyourYes.
User ID: 28429374
United States
11/26/2012 04:13 AM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
Ok I will stop, but only if god gives me a fat Bj when I get to heaven. I assume god is a woman because this universe is a major cunt.
Psych

User ID: 903456
Netherlands
11/26/2012 05:52 AM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
what page in the bible says "If you masturbate you go to hell", just the page number will be fine.
 Quoting: Doommincus Maximus


That page got stuck so they removed it from the canon.
K.Kool

User ID: 25128881
Australia
11/26/2012 06:11 AM

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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
:tyhjyjty:
 Quoting: SeaPunk




rofl
heartstalker@blogger
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28430621
United States
11/26/2012 06:20 AM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
Fucking god is a perv then ohh well i guess ima be rubing one out in hell along with everybody else on earth...................
2012Portal
2012Portal - The Mayan Calendar

User ID: 15022013
Netherlands
11/26/2012 07:50 AM

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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
[sorry, sometimes I shock even myself]

God bless!
 Quoting: K.Kool


Good for you, the angels are singing in heaven!
Mayan Calendar and 2012-
From the love of power to the power of Love -
[link to 2012portal.myfeedportal.com]
lupa14714

User ID: 23350068
United Kingdom
11/26/2012 08:06 AM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
:tyhjyjty:
 Quoting: SeaPunk




rofl
 Quoting: K.Kool


that's the funniest thing i've seen.it's exactly what's happened to me since reading on here.i don't know what the opposite of a missionary is,but they've made me run a mile from religion by being soooo nasty.
church of euthanasia.
[link to www.facebook.com]
have just left my paranormal photos on,as I,m leaving soon.some you have to see whole picture,as clipped.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26802439
United States
11/26/2012 08:22 AM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
nope...tug tug.
Thor's Hamster

User ID: 1248699
United States
11/26/2012 08:26 AM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
Why not yes to both?
 Quoting: Thor's Hamster


Cant serve 2 masters... you must choose which you will serve. Short term, unfulfilled pleasure here (thats not real) or eternal pleasure...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13864401


Masturbating is "serving a master"? LOL

So when you walk, are you also "serving a master"?....your legs?

When you eat, are you "serving a master"?...your appetite?
Apollo astronauts couldn't have passed through Van Allen's Belt. Van Allen wore suspenders.
Thor's Hamster

User ID: 1248699
United States
11/26/2012 08:27 AM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
Dear God, please save me from your followers. :)
Apollo astronauts couldn't have passed through Van Allen's Belt. Van Allen wore suspenders.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1779676
United States
11/26/2012 08:30 AM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
why is god so angry?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 14717007


Because people are SICK! And there are people who are not Christians. They can touch themselves though because God already has their map planned out, and it's very hot. :)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28363197


God isn't "angry", He is disappointed in my opinion. Every time we sin, it makes us look like fools, after all He did for us and we throw it away for nothing over and over again.

The OP however IS angry, and condemning people to hell and yelling at them isn't very forgiving or Christ-like in my opinion... treat others with kindness, try to tell them that it is wrong to commit adultery, but it may or may not be wrong to masturbate depending on your personal interpretation of the Bible.

hf
Zombietard

User ID: 28511166
Argentina
11/26/2012 08:31 AM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
5 Health Benefits of Masturbation
1) It prevents cancer.
2)It makes you harder.
3)It helps you last longer.
4)It ups your immunity.
5)It boosts your mood.
hfrolleyes
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 4281714
United States
11/26/2012 08:34 AM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
God isn't real.
Magic isn't real.
There is zero reason to believe.
Ritualism & hope isn't about reality.
It's about blocking out reality.
It's the mantra of
"i will only believe this.
as long as i do everything will be ok."
What a selfish act.
Stefan Parlow

User ID: 1068734
Austria
11/26/2012 08:36 AM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
OP, how old are you? Where did you read that bs?
Teddybearman

User ID: 28510689
United Kingdom
11/26/2012 08:39 AM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
maybe if god fired one of once in a while he wouldn't be such an uptight prick
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 14717007


>This, plus 100x
geminilion
We need more cowbell!

User ID: 12895036
United States
11/26/2012 08:41 AM

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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
Oh my..I doubt god cares if I touch myself.

I was raised in a strict Irish Roman Catholic environment and thought I was going to hell by the time I was nine. Everything was a sin and I saw how that mode of thinking really f'd up a lot of people in my family.

Go ahead and have fun. jerkit
..."The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Think only on those things that are in line with your principles and can bear the light of day. The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny ... it is the light that guides your way."
Heraclitus
geminilion
We need more cowbell!

User ID: 12895036
United States
11/26/2012 08:55 AM

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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
:tyhjyjty:
 Quoting: SeaPunk




rofl
 Quoting: K.Kool


rofl
..."The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Think only on those things that are in line with your principles and can bear the light of day. The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny ... it is the light that guides your way."
Heraclitus
Pete
User ID: 14749379
United States
11/26/2012 09:15 AM
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Re: Say YES to God and NO to masturbation
If it did not I would go nuts and start hunting religious tards like you. Who judge every one around you. your type makes want to puke.