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Unsure of how to deal with problem

 
booklover
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User ID: 28430529
United States
11/25/2012 02:49 AM
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Unsure of how to deal with problem
Almost a year ago I was involved in the R.O.P Explorers. I quit due to personal feeling about the values that were being taught there. The drill instructor would constamtly be calling and texting me. On many occasions, he would walk me home after class was over and would linger for an hour or more. I found this quite innaproppriate fora drill instructor to treat a cadet this way. I dont know if any of you thik that i was being paranoid.
Anyway, a few months ago my counselor called me into his office asking questions about those details mentioned above. I answered the questions as truthfully as possible. I learned that after speaking to a few more students that the drill instructor was fired. Now the people that I called friends are turning against me. The CO told them that I made a complaint to the principal, which I would never do, and they believe him. The ones that I will be graduating with come June give me dirty looks and talk about me behind my back and dont even have the decency to stop even if I am a few feeet away and within earshot. The now ex drill instructor has been talking with my sister and had her pass on some words. he said; "Cadre, Strike, and Crash are still pissed about what happened. The entire school hates her guts and is calling her a rascist. They believe that becausse i am black and she is white that she did it on purpose. If i were your sister, I would move schools before getting jumped and getting seriously injured." I feel so scared, I just dont know what todo anymore. Im afraid to go out of the house. They know where I live, but I have no proof about the harassment its just my word. What should I do????? I will gladly accept any ideas or comments about what i could do; both positive or negative comments.

Last Edited by SPUD on 11/25/2012 04:55 AM
booklover
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User ID: 28420771
New Zealand
11/25/2012 02:59 AM
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Re: Unsure of how to deal with problem
You dont seem to have much privacy, you should protect that. Dont give out phone numbers and addresses unless you are secure about a persons intentions. Take a couple of weeks off get off everyones radar works sometimes.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28370349
Canada
11/25/2012 03:22 AM
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Re: Unsure of how to deal with problem
You must rise above the riffraff. Hold up your head. Smile. DO NOT LET THEM GET TO YOU. Show them how unaffected you are. If you act afraid or bothered by them they will eat you up alive. You MUST be strong. The only other choice is to walk away entirely and that isn't always the best option. Stay strong and eventually they will back down and realize the whole matter is not worth going on about simply by your attitude. It's a game of poker. Right now you're going to have to bluff. EVEN IF YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE IT. Smile Goddamit!
scorpio66

User ID: 2453057
United States
11/25/2012 03:28 AM
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Re: Unsure of how to deal with problem
I'm sorry, it wasn't clear to me - are you in high school? It sounds as if you are young. If you are underage you need to tell your parents or some other adult that you trust. You've been threatened and you're frightened and rightfully so it seems. You really need an adult to intervene.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22924367
United States
11/25/2012 03:31 AM
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Re: Unsure of how to deal with problem
welcome to earth

every step you take forward, some sob will try to kick you back two.
ANHEDONIC

User ID: 26795689
United States
11/25/2012 03:44 AM

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Re: Unsure of how to deal with problem
You must rise above the riffraff. Hold up your head. Smile. DO NOT LET THEM GET TO YOU. Show them how unaffected you are. If you act afraid or bothered by them they will eat you up alive. You MUST be strong. The only other choice is to walk away entirely and that isn't always the best option. Stay strong and eventually they will back down and realize the whole matter is not worth going on about simply by your attitude. It's a game of poker. Right now you're going to have to bluff. EVEN IF YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE IT. Smile Goddamit!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28370349


goofy thum

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger"
booklover (OP)

User ID: 28430529
United States
11/25/2012 03:45 AM
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Re: Unsure of how to deal with problem
Yes I am a senior in high school. Ive tried holding my head up, smiling and acting as though what they have said doesnt get to me even though it does. That only made it worse. The CO of the explorers has had no problem making it seem as though im making everything up. My dad doesnt care about anyone elses problems except his and my mother hasnt been aroud since i was two.
booklover
goodmockingbird
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User ID: 11364251
United States
11/25/2012 04:00 AM

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Re: Unsure of how to deal with problem
You need to consult with an attorney regarding sexual harassment.

Since the drill instructor was fired -- probably for sexual harassment such as you endured -- you very likely have an excellent chance of winning a civil suit against the school.

Look up local attorneys who handle civil rights law, or call your local bar association for referals.

Meanwhile, document everything -- absolutely everything.

Names, dates, and places. Who said what to whom, when.

Write it up in notes, now. Just as you remember it. Make note of who all was present, any details you can recall. Just plain everything you can remember.

And get a lawyer. NOW. Tomorrow morning, as soon as the law offices open. Don't wait and mull it over in your mind.

Start getting proactive now.
goodmockingbird
Home of the EF5 Tornados, Now with Beheading!

User ID: 11364251
United States
11/25/2012 04:02 AM

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Re: Unsure of how to deal with problem
By the way, go back and edit out the name of the location from your original post.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1688210
United States
11/25/2012 04:02 AM
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Re: Unsure of how to deal with problem
Doom comes their way, just wait!!!pigchef
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28370349
Canada
11/25/2012 04:05 AM
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Re: Unsure of how to deal with problem
"Yes I am a senior in high school. Ive tried holding my head up, smiling and acting as though what they have said doesnt get to me even though it does. That only made it worse. The CO of the explorers has had no problem making it seem as though im making everything up. My dad doesnt care about anyone elses problems except his and my mother hasnt been aroud since i was two."

---
Keep smiling. I'm telling you. It will get worse. Then it will get better IF YOU KEEP IT UP. But because you are only at highschool level it is also wise to get legal advice. Do you have an aunt, uncle or teacher you can talk to? Talk to them.
scorpio66

User ID: 2453057
United States
11/25/2012 04:07 AM
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Re: Unsure of how to deal with problem
I think the consulting an attorney advice is very good for you. It may sound overwhelming but you will likely get a free visit and the help that you need.

I also googled "what to do if you are being bullied" and think you should check out some of the links. i clicked a few and looks like pretty consistent, solid advice, which definitely all includes "tell an adult".

surely there is a grandparent or family friend or neighbor or teacher or some adult that you can ask for help. most people i think would understand and feel glad you trust in them so please don't be shy about it. you really need to get an adult in your corner asap.

here's the google link:

[link to www.google.com (secure)]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28416020
United States
11/25/2012 04:11 AM
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Re: Unsure of how to deal with problem
I agree with all the advice here OP....just keep a low profile until some new drama catches their attention. DO NOT BACK DOWN. This guy was a predator...probably coming onto other young women and maybe getting away with a LOT more. That's why he's mad...that will follow him. They would not have fired him if they thought it wasn't true. YOU stopped him...congrats. Keep your inner peace OP ...don't let them make you live in fear and steal your joy. Find a circle of friends you trust, keep your secrets to yourself with those you don't, and enjoy your senior year.
Shiva Nataraja

User ID: 18762713
United Kingdom
11/25/2012 04:30 AM
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Re: Unsure of how to deal with problem
You must rise above the riffraff. Hold up your head. Smile. DO NOT LET THEM GET TO YOU. Show them how unaffected you are. If you act afraid or bothered by them they will eat you up alive. You MUST be strong. The only other choice is to walk away entirely and that isn't always the best option. Stay strong and eventually they will back down and realize the whole matter is not worth going on about simply by your attitude. It's a game of poker. Right now you're going to have to bluff. EVEN IF YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE IT. Smile Goddamit!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28370349


goofy thum
 Quoting: ANHEDONIC


goofy thum

It sounds as though you don't want any fuss and you didn't ask for any. It's a shame, but sometimes we all have to take the spotlight. There is always a background noise of disapproval whatever you choose to do... Learn to recognise it and to rise above it. Regardless of the situation, this learning process comes to us all. You are a valid individual who has the right to own your own experiences. Please smile and embrace the process off getting to know yourself and the world in which you live. Best wishes. (",)__¥
Dance, it's your birthright. X

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