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Dr Laura and Can I own a Canadian?

 
The Butcher Templar
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Belize
11/25/2012 08:41 PM
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Dr Laura and Can I own a Canadian?
Food for Thought.....
On her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination, according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, written by a U.S. man, and posted on the Internet. It's funny as well as informative:

-------------------------------------------------------------​------------------------------------

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can.

When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors.....They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot.
Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan,
James M. Kauffman, Ed.D., Professor Emeritus, Dept. of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia

P.S. -- It would be a damn shame if we couldn't own a Canadian
curiouslyinterested

User ID: 25678800
Canada
11/25/2012 08:59 PM

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Re: Dr Laura and Can I own a Canadian?
This is the most precious post I have read to date. Thank you for a good read.

P.S. I agree. You will have to stick with the Mexicans, lol.
Beware The Suits
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1152779
United States
11/25/2012 09:02 PM
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Re: Dr Laura and Can I own a Canadian?
how much US $$
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 12543514
Canada
11/25/2012 09:09 PM
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Re: Dr Laura and Can I own a Canadian?
i,m for sale, but you probably cant afford me
wisc_natureboy
I pee outside

User ID: 28395132
United States
11/25/2012 09:12 PM

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Re: Dr Laura and Can I own a Canadian?
i,m for sale, but you probably cant afford me
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 12543514


Back bacon, maple syrup, and some Tim's.
chuckle
Mr.A+
Ole Hickory
wisc_natureboy
.
.
We all breathe the same air.
.-.. --- ...- . / .- .-.. .-..
(love/all)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1545839
Canada
11/25/2012 09:24 PM
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Re: Dr Laura and Can I own a Canadian?
This has been around for a long time.
Old MacDonald

User ID: 22787734
Canada
11/25/2012 09:26 PM
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Re: Dr Laura and Can I own a Canadian?
I'm for sale!!!!!!!!!

uncletom1
In a Time of Universal Deceit, Telling the Truth is a Revolutionary Act - George Orwell

Rachel Maddow is HOT!!! - Seriously I'd hit it.

A VOTE FOR JUSTIN TRUDEAU IN 2015, WOULD BE THE MOST COWARDLY & IRRESPONSIBLE THING A CANADIAN CITIZEN COULD DO TO THEIR OWN PEOPLE. GUN GRABBERS ARE THE COMMON ENEMY OF ALL PEOPLE.

GUN CONTROL HAS RESULTED IN THE SLAUGHTER OF 262 MILLION CITIZENS BY THEIR GOVERNMENTS OVER THE PAST 100 YEARS.

THE LIBERAL PARTY OF CANADA & THE NDP ENDORSE GUN CONTROL, AN ESSENTIAL POLICY OF HITLER, STALIN, MAO, POL POT, EDI AMIN, QADDAFI, SADDAM, ASSAD, & EVERY OTHER TYRANNICAL GOVERNMENT THIS PAST CENTURY.

CANADIANS MUST NEVER FORGET THE BETRAYAL OF BILLS C-68 & C-17. WE MUST NOT REST UNTIL THEY ARE FULLY REPEALED.

C-19 WAS A GOOD START......BUT JUST A START. GET OFF YOUR COLLECTIVE ASSES AND MAKE AN IMPACT. WE HAVE 26 MONTHS.

I, THEE BOB, SWEAR ON THE ALTER OF GOD TO FIGHT ALL FORMS OF CANADIAN TYRANNY AND SAVE MY COUNTRY FROM THE EVILS OF THE NEW WORLD ORDER. I WILL NEVER HAND IN MY GUNS. EVER. I AM A FREE MAN, I WILL NOT BE THE BITCH OF THE SOCIALIST ESTABLISHMENT. LEAVE ME ALONE.
curiouslyinterested

User ID: 25678800
Canada
11/25/2012 09:30 PM

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Re: Dr Laura and Can I own a Canadian?
This has been around for a long time.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1545839


Oh! So your old. Sorry.
Beware The Suits
KateSask

User ID: 15170057
11/25/2012 09:32 PM
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Re: Dr Laura and Can I own a Canadian?
Everything's for sale for the right $$$$$. lol
.


Candle Lake, CANADA in Pictures ~ [link to www.dennischamberlain.com]
Old MacDonald

User ID: 22787734
Canada
11/25/2012 09:33 PM
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Re: Dr Laura and Can I own a Canadian?
Everything's for sale for the right $$$$$. lol
 Quoting: KateSask


hf
In a Time of Universal Deceit, Telling the Truth is a Revolutionary Act - George Orwell

Rachel Maddow is HOT!!! - Seriously I'd hit it.

A VOTE FOR JUSTIN TRUDEAU IN 2015, WOULD BE THE MOST COWARDLY & IRRESPONSIBLE THING A CANADIAN CITIZEN COULD DO TO THEIR OWN PEOPLE. GUN GRABBERS ARE THE COMMON ENEMY OF ALL PEOPLE.

GUN CONTROL HAS RESULTED IN THE SLAUGHTER OF 262 MILLION CITIZENS BY THEIR GOVERNMENTS OVER THE PAST 100 YEARS.

THE LIBERAL PARTY OF CANADA & THE NDP ENDORSE GUN CONTROL, AN ESSENTIAL POLICY OF HITLER, STALIN, MAO, POL POT, EDI AMIN, QADDAFI, SADDAM, ASSAD, & EVERY OTHER TYRANNICAL GOVERNMENT THIS PAST CENTURY.

CANADIANS MUST NEVER FORGET THE BETRAYAL OF BILLS C-68 & C-17. WE MUST NOT REST UNTIL THEY ARE FULLY REPEALED.

C-19 WAS A GOOD START......BUT JUST A START. GET OFF YOUR COLLECTIVE ASSES AND MAKE AN IMPACT. WE HAVE 26 MONTHS.

I, THEE BOB, SWEAR ON THE ALTER OF GOD TO FIGHT ALL FORMS OF CANADIAN TYRANNY AND SAVE MY COUNTRY FROM THE EVILS OF THE NEW WORLD ORDER. I WILL NEVER HAND IN MY GUNS. EVER. I AM A FREE MAN, I WILL NOT BE THE BITCH OF THE SOCIALIST ESTABLISHMENT. LEAVE ME ALONE.
Madame X

User ID: 24537691
Canada
11/25/2012 09:47 PM
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Re: Dr Laura and Can I own a Canadian?
Got a really good chuckle out of this, thanks op!

chuckle
"The wise man's home is the universe." ~ Democrites

Catch the blue train...somewhere down that crazy river.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1507723
Canada
11/25/2012 09:52 PM
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Re: Dr Laura and Can I own a Canadian?
That was brilliant Doctor. As a Canadian I should warn you that you couldn't afford to feed me.
-
User ID: 14012564
United States
11/25/2012 10:05 PM
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Re: Dr Laura and Can I own a Canadian?
The writer is a poor Bible student. It's been posted before and answered/debunked.

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