Why is it when anyone ever needed me I was there for them | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 28521530 Australia 11/27/2012 01:23 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | But when I need someone, no one is there? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28378701 Could this be because im not the same as others? And that I am actually there for myself like I was there for them? And don't actually require someone else to be there for me? ive been in the same boat sometimes. people have to recognise first what youre going through to have empathy for your situation and realise you may need someone around or help. they wont know if you dont say anything,but on the otherhand some people dont even have enough 'care' in them to ring and see how things are if they havent heard from you..and by sounds if youre someone that does look after yourself(as you say)or someone that has endured much by yourself, others see you as strong enough and dont tend to worry about you to check up,like they might do with more'needy'hopeless types. sometimes we're all weve got,people are becoming increasingly selfish and distant,that doesnt mean that even the toughest of us dont need someone who has our backs, or a soft place to fall. probably didnt help much-but i hear ya. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 5943151 United States 11/27/2012 01:26 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 9788321 United States 11/27/2012 01:30 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
2be0rnot2be User ID: 28548142 United States 11/27/2012 01:32 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
11:11 User ID: 17011760 United States 11/27/2012 01:43 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | But when I need someone, no one is there? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28378701 Could this be because im not the same as others? And that I am actually there for myself like I was there for them? And don't actually require someone else to be there for me? Maybe your somewhat like me. Most of my friends make their problems known to everyone (usually me first) and i have always been willing to lend a hand. Myself on the other hand , dont like the idea of everyone knowing my problems and it means I usually dont share and wind up handling the difficulties my own self. Then again your friends may be like some of my friends , Lazy Whiny Asses that only have the energy to fuck things up and never the energy or desire to fix them. |
mopar28m User ID: 14265444 United States 11/27/2012 01:47 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | But when I need someone, no one is there? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28378701 Could this be because im not the same as others? And that I am actually there for myself like I was there for them? And don't actually require someone else to be there for me? I'm in the same boat. I give a lot of myself but when I need a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen to just sit with me when I'm down, I'm alone. The past 18 months have been the worst time in my life & I've had to go thru it alone even tho I have a family. I'm counting down the days until the semester is over so I can finally have some down time & try to get things thought out. vaccinefreehealth blogspot com The risk far outweighs any benefit as the risk will vary from child to child. facebook.com/graphixyourway |
scorpio66 User ID: 2453057 United States 11/27/2012 02:06 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Some people are just wired differently. For some people it's very easy to just buckle and let others swoop in to sort things out and pick up the pieces. And other people don't seem to have that same luxury and must learn to be strong and tough it out or whatever. Be glad you can count on yourself (even though it gets tiring and seems unfair at times). |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 28378701 Australia 11/27/2012 02:08 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | But when I need someone, no one is there? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28378701 Could this be because im not the same as others? And that I am actually there for myself like I was there for them? And don't actually require someone else to be there for me? ive been in the same boat sometimes. people have to recognise first what youre going through to have empathy for your situation and realise you may need someone around or help. they wont know if you dont say anything,but on the otherhand some people dont even have enough 'care' in them to ring and see how things are if they havent heard from you..and by sounds if youre someone that does look after yourself(as you say)or someone that has endured much by yourself, others see you as strong enough and dont tend to worry about you to check up,like they might do with more'needy'hopeless types. sometimes we're all weve got,people are becoming increasingly selfish and distant,that doesnt mean that even the toughest of us dont need someone who has our backs, or a soft place to fall. probably didnt help much-but i hear ya. It helped a lot thanks mate. I think I am just meant to help myself because I can. Its simply that. In the scheme of things there is never enough people to help people who need help. And maybe because I have this hardy ability to help others I can also help myself so no one is sent my way to help me. Not that im forgotten about, but just that I will be ok so the helpers are sent on to others who wont be ok. I guess im lucky, not that it feels it. Maybe ill get rewarded some day who knows I don't care anyway. |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 28378701 Australia 11/27/2012 02:10 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | But when I need someone, no one is there? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28378701 Could this be because im not the same as others? And that I am actually there for myself like I was there for them? And don't actually require someone else to be there for me? I'm in the same boat. I give a lot of myself but when I need a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen to just sit with me when I'm down, I'm alone. The past 18 months have been the worst time in my life & I've had to go thru it alone even tho I have a family. I'm counting down the days until the semester is over so I can finally have some down time & try to get things thought out. I wish I could help you |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 28378701 Australia 11/27/2012 02:15 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Some people are just wired differently. For some people it's very easy to just buckle and let others swoop in to sort things out and pick up the pieces. And other people don't seem to have that same luxury and must learn to be strong and tough it out or whatever. Be glad you can count on yourself (even though it gets tiring and seems unfair at times). Quoting: scorpio66 But I kind of feel like I need someone to swoop in and help, but from my 36 years on this planet I know this will not happen. So I just soldier on, feeling miserable, but soldering on regardless because there is no other choice. I remember an old Japanese custom, that when you are a failure, you must die honorably by killing yourself and freeing your peers of your burden. But I find this, in this current modern society we live in, to not an honorable demise so I will not do it. In this current society an honorable demise when you are washed up, is giving your life for another. And this is what im trying to figure out how to do this giving my life for another. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 26808139 United States 11/27/2012 02:22 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Some people are just wired differently. For some people it's very easy to just buckle and let others swoop in to sort things out and pick up the pieces. And other people don't seem to have that same luxury and must learn to be strong and tough it out or whatever. Be glad you can count on yourself (even though it gets tiring and seems unfair at times). Quoting: scorpio66 But I kind of feel like I need someone to swoop in and help, but from my 36 years on this planet I know this will not happen. So I just soldier on, feeling miserable, but soldering on regardless because there is no other choice. I remember an old Japanese custom, that when you are a failure, you must die honorably by killing yourself and freeing your peers of your burden. But I find this, in this current modern society we live in, to not an honorable demise so I will not do it. In this current society an honorable demise when you are washed up, is giving your life for another. And this is what im trying to figure out how to do this giving my life for another. Or how about this one, OP: when someone does finally break down and offer to be there for you, they eventually remind you of that fact or make you feel guilty for being a burden to them. THAT pisses me off as much as the other issue. |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 28378701 Australia 11/27/2012 02:43 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Some people are just wired differently. For some people it's very easy to just buckle and let others swoop in to sort things out and pick up the pieces. And other people don't seem to have that same luxury and must learn to be strong and tough it out or whatever. Be glad you can count on yourself (even though it gets tiring and seems unfair at times). Quoting: scorpio66 But I kind of feel like I need someone to swoop in and help, but from my 36 years on this planet I know this will not happen. So I just soldier on, feeling miserable, but soldering on regardless because there is no other choice. I remember an old Japanese custom, that when you are a failure, you must die honorably by killing yourself and freeing your peers of your burden. But I find this, in this current modern society we live in, to not an honorable demise so I will not do it. In this current society an honorable demise when you are washed up, is giving your life for another. And this is what im trying to figure out how to do this giving my life for another. Or how about this one, OP: when someone does finally break down and offer to be there for you, they eventually remind you of that fact or make you feel guilty for being a burden to them. THAT pisses me off as much as the other issue. Shit maybe you got a point man, that's maybe what it is. Im trying to avoid helping them because im always helping so many fucked up lunatics. That when one comes to me to help me im like oh no fucking thanks this is ME time BYE! |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 28378701 Australia 11/27/2012 02:50 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1034800 United States 11/27/2012 03:06 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Its like I want someone better than me to help me, but I can't find it. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28378701 What I've found is that the only "someone better than me to help me" is the Divine Creator. You can't really put your full trust in other human beings because they will always fail you. You have to go to the source. If someone has a lantern they usually only keep enough supply of oil for themselves to light their own lantern, they don't carry enough for everyone around them. If you go to the source, you will always have enough and even more to share with others. So you have to go to the source of the light and be the one to share that light with others. You can put your trust in God for anything. So, anyway, What do you need help with? |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1034800 United States 11/27/2012 03:10 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Some people are just wired differently. For some people it's very easy to just buckle and let others swoop in to sort things out and pick up the pieces. And other people don't seem to have that same luxury and must learn to be strong and tough it out or whatever. Be glad you can count on yourself (even though it gets tiring and seems unfair at times). Quoting: scorpio66 But I kind of feel like I need someone to swoop in and help, but from my 36 years on this planet I know this will not happen. So I just soldier on, feeling miserable, but soldering on regardless because there is no other choice. I remember an old Japanese custom, that when you are a failure, you must die honorably by killing yourself and freeing your peers of your burden. But I find this, in this current modern society we live in, to not an honorable demise so I will not do it. In this current society an honorable demise when you are washed up, is giving your life for another. And this is what im trying to figure out how to do this giving my life for another. This is your answer right here, there are so many things you can do to give your life for others! |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 28378701 Australia 11/27/2012 03:14 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Its like I want someone better than me to help me, but I can't find it. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28378701 What I've found is that the only "someone better than me to help me" is the Divine Creator. You can't really put your full trust in other human beings because they will always fail you. You have to go to the source. If someone has a lantern they usually only keep enough supply of oil for themselves to light their own lantern, they don't carry enough for everyone around them. If you go to the source, you will always have enough and even more to share with others. So you have to go to the source of the light and be the one to share that light with others. You can put your trust in God for anything. So, anyway, What do you need help with? Oils and lanterns and God yeah right..... Don't drink beer or I burn you kind of thing right? Wear a suit every day and say thank you or I burn you right? |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 28378701 Australia 11/27/2012 03:16 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Some people are just wired differently. For some people it's very easy to just buckle and let others swoop in to sort things out and pick up the pieces. And other people don't seem to have that same luxury and must learn to be strong and tough it out or whatever. Be glad you can count on yourself (even though it gets tiring and seems unfair at times). Quoting: scorpio66 But I kind of feel like I need someone to swoop in and help, but from my 36 years on this planet I know this will not happen. So I just soldier on, feeling miserable, but soldering on regardless because there is no other choice. I remember an old Japanese custom, that when you are a failure, you must die honorably by killing yourself and freeing your peers of your burden. But I find this, in this current modern society we live in, to not an honorable demise so I will not do it. In this current society an honorable demise when you are washed up, is giving your life for another. And this is what im trying to figure out how to do this giving my life for another. This is your answer right here, there are so many things you can do to give your life for others! I think that is it, that is the answer, but I have to leave a lot behind to do that with great sadness and possible future changing events because of my wishes. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 24394728 Austria 11/27/2012 03:17 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 28378701 Australia 11/27/2012 03:24 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1034800 United States 11/27/2012 04:01 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Its like I want someone better than me to help me, but I can't find it. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28378701 What I've found is that the only "someone better than me to help me" is the Divine Creator. You can't really put your full trust in other human beings because they will always fail you. You have to go to the source. If someone has a lantern they usually only keep enough supply of oil for themselves to light their own lantern, they don't carry enough for everyone around them. If you go to the source, you will always have enough and even more to share with others. So you have to go to the source of the light and be the one to share that light with others. You can put your trust in God for anything. So, anyway, What do you need help with? Oils and lanterns and God yeah right..... Don't drink beer or I burn you kind of thing right? Wear a suit every day and say thank you or I burn you right? Wow, you really don't get it do you? |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 27572861 Canada 11/27/2012 04:22 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 28378701 Australia 11/27/2012 04:32 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 28378701 Australia 11/27/2012 04:32 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Hey Op. You're not alone, even when it feels like it. Quoting: Parabola Sounds like many people who have commented on this thread understand. Can we help at all? Stay strong. I think the most valuable lessons come from overcoming the biggest challenges. I wish we could, when we do everything right, and everything wrong happens to us. |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 28378701 Australia 11/27/2012 04:33 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 27572861 Canada 11/27/2012 04:47 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Hey Op. You're not alone, even when it feels like it. Quoting: Parabola Sounds like many people who have commented on this thread understand. Can we help at all? Stay strong. I think the most valuable lessons come from overcoming the biggest challenges. I wish we could, when we do everything right, and everything wrong happens to us. I'm sorry to hear you've been hurt/disappointed. Ive had some unbelievable shit happen. And worse than the unbelievable shit was people's avoidance of it afterwards when I needed help. Their inability/unwillingness to help hurt. But with time, I saw that some had helped in ways I hadnt initially appreciated, and others did not have the resources or insights to help as I needed. And I have grown so much from the struggles. Sounds like you are compassionate and have a good head on your shoulders. Hard as it is, I think changing our perspectives is key to overcoming what hurts us. Its nice when people can help you find the answers you need, but I think you will also discover strength you didn't know you had if you give yourself time and take care of yourself as you care for your loved ones. |
Brian Moser User ID: 27317240 United States 11/27/2012 04:56 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Two things I would consider... First, you probably aren't the type of person who does things for others because you want them to owe you a favor. While it may seem easier to live like that, if it's not you then it's simply not you. Secondly, to balance out that type of personality, it seems that you need a more assertive attitude. The way I see life is that I have the right to take anything that I honestly feel I deserve under one condition - I don't take it by violating the right of someone else to take what they honestly feel they deserve. It's essentially just "the golden rule" with a rational way of seeing that I'm not being greedy for wanting more. Hope that helps. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 28521530 Australia 11/27/2012 04:57 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | youre welcome for before OP. let me ask you straight out; how would you like someone to help/be there for you atm? what can they do for you? is it just someone to talk to? or do you need help with something in particular? theres a reason im asking;-) |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 25788477 United States 11/27/2012 05:52 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 27783241 United States 11/27/2012 08:39 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I've had it remarked to me by friends/family members that I'm better to talk to than therapists they've seen. I'm always the first one to offer a ear to listen to someone vent. The problem for me is I can sense when someone is having a hard time and needs to talk to someone, even if I don't know them. Just an energy they give off. I like to take it upon myself. I actually kind of feed off the energy initially. The problem becomes for me when these people stick around and their entire life scope of problems becomes my problem by default. It really feels like it emotionally eats me alive. Luckily I have a couple really good friends I can vent to as well. So that would be the first thing I suggest. To me listening to peoples problems offering advice and just being there depending on the conversation can be akin to mental/emotional sex. |