Why is it when anyone ever needed me I was there for them

ive been in the same boat sometimes.
people have to recognise first what youre going through to have empathy for your situation and realise you may need someone around or help.
they wont know if you dont say anything,but on the otherhand some people dont even have enough 'care' in them to ring and see how things are if they havent heard from you..and by sounds if youre someone that does look after yourself(as you say)or someone that has endured much by yourself, others see you as strong enough and dont tend to worry about you to check up,like they might do with more'needy'hopeless types.

sometimes we're all weve got,people are becoming increasingly selfish and distant,that doesnt mean that even the toughest of us dont need someone who has our backs, or a soft place to fall.

probably didnt help much-but i hear ya.

YOU chose this path.

Did you choose it to GET something?

Or GIVE something?

If you CHOSE to Give...

Then WHY do you EXPECT anything in return?

Just asking ...

If you want something, take it.

Don't bitch about Karma.

AS YOU CAN SEE IT DOESN'T EXIST WITHIN THIS LIFETIME.

Maybe your somewhat like me. Most of my friends make their problems known to everyone (usually me first) and i have always been willing to lend a hand.
Myself on the other hand , dont like the idea of everyone knowing my problems and it means I usually dont share and wind up handling the difficulties my own self.

Then again your friends may be like some of my friends , Lazy Whiny Asses that only have the energy to fuck things up and never the energy or desire to fix them.

I'm in the same boat.

I give a lot of myself but when I need a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen to just sit with me when I'm down, I'm alone.

The past 18 months have been the worst time in my life & I've had to go thru it alone even tho I have a family.

I'm counting down the days until the semester is over so I can finally have some down time & try to get things thought out.

Some people are just wired differently. For some people it's very easy to just buckle and let others swoop in to sort things out and pick up the pieces. And other people don't seem to have that same luxury and must learn to be strong and tough it out or whatever. Be glad you can count on yourself (even though it gets tiring and seems unfair at times).

It helped a lot thanks mate.
I think I am just meant to help myself because I can.
Its simply that.
In the scheme of things there is never enough people to help people who need help.
And maybe because I have this hardy ability to help others I can also help myself so no one is sent my way to help me.
Not that im forgotten about, but just that I will be ok so the helpers are sent on to others who wont be ok.
I guess im lucky, not that it feels it.
Maybe ill get rewarded some day who knows I don't care anyway.

I wish I could help you

But I kind of feel like I need someone to swoop in and help, but from my 36 years on this planet I know this will not happen.
So I just soldier on, feeling miserable, but soldering on regardless because there is no other choice.
I remember an old Japanese custom, that when you are a failure, you must die honorably by killing yourself and freeing your peers of your burden.
But I find this, in this current modern society we live in, to not an honorable demise so I will not do it.
In this current society an honorable demise when you are washed up, is giving your life for another.
And this is what im trying to figure out how to do this giving my life for another.

Or how about this one, OP: when someone does finally break down and offer to be there for you, they eventually remind you of that fact or make you feel guilty for being a burden to them. THAT pisses me off as much as the other issue.

Shit maybe you got a point man, that's maybe what it is.
Im trying to avoid helping them because im always helping so many fucked up lunatics.
That when one comes to me to help me im like oh no fucking thanks this is ME time BYE!

Its like I want someone better than me to help me, but I can't find it.

What I've found is that the only "someone better than me to help me" is the Divine Creator. You can't really put your full trust in other human beings because they will always fail you. You have to go to the source. If someone has a lantern they usually only keep enough supply of oil for themselves to light their own lantern, they don't carry enough for everyone around them. If you go to the source, you will always have enough and even more to share with others. So you have to go to the source of the light and be the one to share that light with others. You can put your trust in God for anything.

So, anyway, What do you need help with?

This is your answer right here, there are so many things you can do to give your life for others!

Oils and lanterns and God yeah right.....
Don't drink beer or I burn you kind of thing right?
Wear a suit every day and say thank you or I burn you right?

I think that is it, that is the answer, but I have to leave a lot behind to do that with great sadness and possible future changing events because of my wishes.

Because you, like me, are an instinctively good-hearted idiot.

I don't think its that simple, that's just your emotions talking.
Its much more than this.

Wow, you really don't get it do you?

Hey Op. You're not alone, even when it feels like it.

Sounds like many people who have commented on this thread understand. Can we help at all?

Stay strong. I think the most valuable lessons come from overcoming the biggest challenges.

You're stupid go away.

I wish we could, when we do everything right, and everything wrong happens to us.

Thanks now shoo.

I'm sorry to hear you've been hurt/disappointed.

Ive had some unbelievable shit happen. And worse than the unbelievable shit was people's avoidance of it afterwards when I needed help.

Their inability/unwillingness to help hurt. But with time, I saw that some had helped in ways I hadnt initially appreciated, and others did not have the resources or insights to help as I needed. And I have grown so much from the struggles.

Sounds like you are compassionate and have a good head on your shoulders. Hard as it is, I think changing our perspectives is key to overcoming what hurts us. Its nice when people can help you find the answers you need, but I think you will also discover strength you didn't know you had if you give yourself time and take care of yourself as you care for your loved ones.

Two things I would consider...

First, you probably aren't the type of person who does things for others because you want them to owe you a favor. While it may seem easier to live like that, if it's not you then it's simply not you.

Secondly, to balance out that type of personality, it seems that you need a more assertive attitude. The way I see life is that I have the right to take anything that I honestly feel I deserve under one condition - I don't take it by violating the right of someone else to take what they honestly feel they deserve. It's essentially just "the golden rule" with a rational way of seeing that I'm not being greedy for wanting more.

Hope that helps.

youre welcome for before OP.

let me ask you straight out;

how would you like someone to help/be there for you atm?
what can they do for you?
is it just someone to talk to? or do you need help with something in particular?

theres a reason im asking;-)

Simple! People don't think you need any help you are strong and can handle your self, they think your fine you don't show you need help.

I've had it remarked to me by friends/family members that I'm better to talk to than therapists they've seen. I'm always the first one to offer a ear to listen to someone vent. The problem for me is I can sense when someone is having a hard time and needs to talk to someone, even if I don't know them. Just an energy they give off. I like to take it upon myself. I actually kind of feed off the energy initially. The problem becomes for me when these people stick around and their entire life scope of problems becomes my problem by default. It really feels like it emotionally eats me alive. Luckily I have a couple really good friends I can vent to as well. So that would be the first thing I suggest. To me listening to peoples problems offering advice and just being there depending on the conversation can be akin to mental/emotional sex.