Thanks for the bump and response!

No problems with eyes/vision to report. I am thankful. I think they call that aspect of the disease, Iritis(?). I have heard and read about it.

I'm not ashamed to admit that I am 'well-versed' to the drug culture, and have found that various 'street' and 'legit' drugs relive the pain and emotional grief that accompanies it. But the fact is, the only one that doesn't concern me as far as long term/daily use is The Mary..

I saw a thread earlier somewhat on-topic, and it was discussing antibiotic treatment. Some fellow made a comment alluding to the dangers of antibiotics (best I could tell, due to their tendency to make bugs resistant) and what type of future overuse of antibiotics could usher.. A reply said something along the lines of "You mean to say you are more worried about the antibiotic aspect, than the fact that a frightening number of people who die from connective tissue disorders, such as these, are by suicide?"

I'm not gonna take sides too much there, but suicidal? Let me tell you what.. I don't sit around with a gun in my mouth, and it's not all "poor me. my life is terrible. nothing goes right. what's the point!?!" But that gun has looked mighty tasty, on occasion. And truth be told, there are plenty of times that if I had had a handful of opiates, I would not be here right now.

It's not about being a coward! Anyone who struggles with this (and other chronic illnesses) knows it takes tons of courage to look towards another day with pain. The human body is resilient in many ways, but when you get to the point where you *know that every new day will bring pain, pain that affects every part of your being.. well, I don't feel I need to elaborate; but it would be about being in control, if even for an instant, and being rid of the torture. I have lost my 20's and I'm on track to losing my 30's..

I am very thankful though, for the AS community. We understand each other when others don't! : )