I Just Heard From God. Only Guys With Large Penises Will Get Into Heaven

I'm screwed. Hung like a mosquito.

I guess God forgot to mention that there won't be any women there.

Just you and a bunch of guys with big dicks.

Your dream come true.

Your god is a filthy whore

Don't put words in God's mouth. He actually said that Heaven is teaming with women. And they all love big penises. So it is written, so it shall be done.

Oh, Thank God!!!

Maybe God is a woman.

I don't know. He had a really deep voice, a beard and flowing robes. I guess he could be a woman. You never know these days.

OP's a fool for sure.

I should expect naysayers to call me a fool. Wouldn't be the first time a prophet was slandered for spreading the word of god.

OP, I'll see you in hell.

Oh, thanks for reminding me. God spoke of hell, too. He said we have it all wrong. It's not brimstone and fire. And it's not filled with demons.

It is filled with Indian people, though. If you go to hell, you need to get used to the curry and the fact that nobody uses deodorant. It is hot down there, that much is true. Very stinky.

But overall it's just like earth, just filled with guys with little peepees. And women with huge vajayjays.

Only girls with ultra tight pussies go to heaven, too. I left that part out also. Sorry.

hahaha

Yeahhhh!

I have a predicament...
I'm a grower but not a shower.
How does God figure that one out.

Answer: He leaves it up to saint Peter !!!