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I live my entire life in a constant state of depression

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1585861
United States
11/28/2012 03:56 AM
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Re: I live my entire life in a constant state of depression
Depression is caused by negative self talk. If you are blaming yourself for everything and regret everything, it is no wonder you are depressed!

I'm 39 and had been severely clinically depressed since I was a teenager. This changed for me a few years ago when I stopped the negative self talk. It took a while to get use to talking positively to myself, and a lot of practice, but it really does work!

You must learn how to forgive YOURSELF and then forgive others who have caused you harm or injustice. I read about a technique that I use that helps a lot. Anytime you have a negative thought, don't react emotionally to it. Don't relive the pain. Release it. Let it go. Just observe the thought and sent it on its way. Imagine the negative thought or idea on a puffy cloud and send it on up in the sky out of sight/out of mind. Or sometimes I image the idea in a heart shaped helium balloon and let it go.

Replace the negative thoughts with positive. This takes practice and don't be too hard on yourself while you are practicing. That's why it's called practice - you won't master it at first. :) Replace the I hate yous with I am a good person. Learn to tell yourself that you love you. Replace your regrets with the acknowledgement that you learned a lesson and you are thankful for the experience because you are sure you won't repeat it again.

Stop the blaming and STOP LIVING IN THE PAST. Be kind to yourself, smile at yourself in the mirror, and move forward.

I know you can do it because I believe in you.

B6 deficiency is linked to depression. Go buy a bottle and you'll be feeling a bit better in a week.

Also, depressed people should not be reading GLP. ;)

I think you are a good person and am sending you love.

hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28592649
United States
11/28/2012 04:04 AM
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Re: I live my entire life in a constant state of depression
If everyone stopped breeding; there would be no more depression.

The Creator surely is a cunt.
stormer

User ID: 26697102
South Africa
11/28/2012 04:14 AM

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Re: I live my entire life in a constant state of depression
Every soul has a purpose hf
afropeace
Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery - Bob Marley
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21734520
Finland
11/28/2012 04:22 AM
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Re: I live my entire life in a constant state of depression
I'm in my 40s now and I've lived with diagnosed, clinical depression all my life. In my 20s I was self-medicating myself liberally with alcohol, anxiolytes (mainly benzodiazepines) and occasional weed smoking. My depression and alcoholism got progressively worse and eventually my condition deteriorated into psychotic depression. I was hospitalized for some time.

My experiences from both depression and alcoholism is that they are a lot alike: there is no cure and the dark abyss of sickness is always there waiting for you to fall in.

You'll never be happy-go-lucky type of a personality, but that's OK. You are what you are. You may be dark, brooding and pessimistic, but that's your outlook on life and the society has no right to expect you to cheer up and take the "normal" maddeningly cheerful and disgustingly positive view on life. You should completely disregard the ignorant people who say that "oh, everybody gets the blues now and then" and then tell you to cheer up. They don't know shit about what real depression is like. The monster we have to live with has its fangs and nails embedded so deep in our brain tissue that telling us to cheer up is just as ridiculous as telling a cancer patient to cure himself. At the best depression compares to chronic physical pain, at the worst it is a debilitating and lethal condition.

However, when your life gets disrupted/disabled because of the depression, there are things you can and should do to make the life more bearable. You can't exorcise the monster completely, but you can learn to live with it.

It all starts from this question: do you want to be alive?

When I hit the bottom I had a revelation: I can keep on drinking, popping benzos the doctors kindly keep prescribing to me and wallowing in my despair, but it will kill me before I'm 40. I seriously considered that option as, to be honest, I didn't want to live that much. However, I didn't want to die either, because that would mean that the life and the universe had won by managing to crush me. So, in therapy I decided that I'll live - just to give the finger to life, the universe and the sadistic god who allegedly gave me this life devoid of any meaning. Go ahead, do you worst. I'll bend, but I will not break and give you the satisfaction.

That was my motivation, you've got to find yours.

The next step is to find something to do with all the empty hours. Initially, I spent quite a lot of time in therapy trying to find alternatives to drinking. Eventually I found another drug to replace the alcohol, sedatives and weed.

For me it was regimented exercise: bicycling, boxing and weight workouts. I enjoy reading, making plans and charting my progress in detail, so I read a lot of human physiology, anatomy, nutritional science and theory of sports, and turned my exercises into science.

Even if you don't drink or do recreational drugs, I think finding such a hobby or hobbies should help you cope with depression. I'm not saying that you should start exercising religiously, but try experimenting with different activities and see if you like any of them. If you don't like it, stop doing it and find something else. Experiment! Don't just think of a hobby and how (un)interesting it sounds. With a depression-prone personality, you'll just end up discarding all ideas before you even try them.

Heck, become a prepper and start making plans for the doomsday. I didn't believe in Y2K, but I did do prepping, because reading on survival techniques, creating a bug-out kit and planning for all kids of contingencies was simply fun!

If your depression is so bad that you can't think straight, get help. For me, the warning signs were unpaid bills (didn't care anymore), loss of all social life and spending all day in bed drunk/asleep. I know I'm going to get bashed for this, but my experience is that SSRI drugs (prozac-type medication) do help. They dull the sharpest mental pain and thus help you to gain back control over your life. You SHOULD NOT, however, settle just for the pills and keep popping them for the rest of your life. That's an easy solution for the doctors and they like to prescribe SSRI pills liberally just to get rid of you. The medication should ALWAYS be accompanied by therapy or at least peer support (someone who's been through the same experience) or maybe a family member or a friend who can truly relate to you. I don't recommend the last one, since helping someone deal with moderate/severe depression is extremely draining, especially if you're not suffering from the same condition.

I did SSRI drugs and Naltrexone (for controlling my alcoholism) for two years, but I haven't been taking them ever since. These pills did help by dulling the sharpest pain of depression and curbing my craving for alcohol, but cognitive therapy was the most effective ingredient in my recovery. Cognitive therapy is about helping you to spot harmful and disproportional thought patterns and how to correct them. It's rather fast and practical, and does not involve any of the stereotypical Freudian psychoanalysis of your earliest childhood memories, sexual dysfunction or mother-father grudges.

One more thing. You say that you try to tell yourself that tomorrow is going to be better. Don't waste your time on thinking about tomorrow - or the past, for that matter. This moment is what matters. Dwelling on the past or the future will just depress you more.
Anonymous Coward
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Finland
11/28/2012 04:25 AM
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Re: I live my entire life in a constant state of depression
You must learn how to forgive YOURSELF and then forgive others who have caused you harm or injustice. I read about a technique that I use that helps a lot. Anytime you have a negative thought, don't react emotionally to it. Don't relive the pain. Release it. Let it go. Just observe the thought and sent it on its way. Imagine the negative thought or idea on a puffy cloud and send it on up in the sky out of sight/out of mind. Or sometimes I image the idea in a heart shaped helium balloon and let it go.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1585861


Well said. Letting the fear, anger and other negative thoughts pass through you (or, as you like to put it, disappear up in the sky) is what it's all about.

Acknowledge what you feel, but don't let the feelings control you.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28462079
New Zealand
11/28/2012 04:31 AM
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Re: I live my entire life in a constant state of depression
i know this will sound cliche, but try to find pleasure in the little/simple things in life (nature, music, friends, family, pets, art etc.) make an effort to spend time with positive people whom you actually like, especially important when you are feeling introverted and down.

i get down sometimes as well & I question my whole existence on a daily basis...its tough, but genrally i feel happy. but there are people in my life that when i spend time with them bring out a happy content side in me & i always come away feeling good after spending time with them.

hug your friends & family & tell them you love them (hopefully this is true?) its hard to do for some people. but it makes for powerfully connections.

good luck, from someone in the same boat

:)
Hellcat Maggie

User ID: 22318215
United States
11/28/2012 04:32 AM

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Re: I live my entire life in a constant state of depression
You cannot live your life for what others think you SHOULD be.

You will never be happy until you find you.

It's easy to say that..hard to find it...

But I did..

Its this ...

Find the little _____ (you)..he/she is there when you're alone.


Its the only person we really have..all of us.

When we're alone, at night..and thinking over and over of all the stuff that makes us mad..THAT is the the person we still have with us.


It's so hard to make someone see..but I hope you can find the wee person inside you..

Maybe it's a guardian angel..I dont know..but its real..and it WILL heal you.
Do not read this sentence.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25020296
United States
11/28/2012 04:33 AM
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Re: I live my entire life in a constant state of depression
I hear you OP, I feel like a shell of a man. I keep putting on the happy facade but close friend know it's just that. Whatever doesn't kill ya makes you stronger right? Sometimes just existing is enough.
Griefo

User ID: 24805546
United States
11/28/2012 04:51 AM
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Re: I live my entire life in a constant state of depression
I actually have little gremlins that live with me and are constantly telling me to commit suicide. Miserable bastards they are. My life is fine, I've never really been depressed. When you wake up to the BS, you realize that it's not that bad here. You just have to get used to the ambiance.
Fankie
User ID: 28263494
Australia
11/28/2012 05:00 AM
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Re: I live my entire life in a constant state of depression
OK OP, hard nut I see. Time for "My side of the mountain" scenario. If you're fair dinkum, tidy up you're affairs lock you're doors and say goodbye for a while. Walk to the other coast or the like and see you in a years time bright eyed and bushy tailed. Love ya.
Frankie
User ID: 28263494
Australia
11/28/2012 05:18 AM
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Re: I live my entire life in a constant state of depression
Listen OP, you are blessed with some truly awesome suggestions here Dude! Unless you're some kind of narcistic imbecile, seriously consider some of the good advice offered by these really nice people in this thread that have taken there time to share with you and move to the next level. Love ya.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 11946116
United States
11/28/2012 06:17 AM
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Re: I live my entire life in a constant state of depression
I have a lot to be happy for, but I still cannot be happy. I pretend I'm happy, but I'm never really am. I blame myself for all things, and regret everything. No matter how much I tell myself tomorrow is going to be better, it never is.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27302733


Sounds like me as of a few years ago. Here is what I learned:

When you decide you've had enough of feeling this way, when you are ready to declare that enough is enough - you will then be ready to distance yourself from your 'way' or 'approach' to thinking that has created this grief that you feel. Letting go of familiar habits/routines is not easy, but we have to let go to move on. Sometimes to figure out what truly works for you in your life, you have to first figure out what doesn't work. Have you had enough of trying what isn't working for you?

I spent so many years allowing external circumstances to define my life and dictate my emotional state. I falsely assumed that to change how I felt inside, I had to change my external circumstances first. I learned the hard way that this was an illusion and that I had in fact possessed the ability all along to change how I felt within, independent of and regardless of my external circumstances.

My advice - take your conscious attention away from your external circumstances and anything that is a product of the physical/material world, and turn your attention inwardly. Work on advancing/evolving your conscious awareness. Question everything you ever believed and everything that society ever conditioned you to believe, and see where you stand when you pose difficult questions that challenge these thought patterns. Work on freeing yourself from the mental prison that is created by false paradigms that the world programmed us to accept and conform to without question.

Your state of consciousness can change/grow/evolve must faster than you could ever imagine. You just need to remove some of the clutter that is holding it back. There is a light at the end of the tunnel even when you feel hopeless and powerless. Just take it a day at a time, because your results will seem slow at first but can/will grow exponentially. The end game is this: freedom from your fear(s), liberation from the controlling influence of the mind/ego which is the source of all negative emotion & pain, and full awareness of the present moment or the NOW (no longer being a victim of your past).

hugs
 Quoting: ANHEDONIC


thanks, Anhedonic...this helped me, too.

this was great as well.
I know of poeple who got rid of depression by decontamination of the body biochemistry. Dont underestimate the biochemistry aspect..

Best way to start is:
- Remove of tooth amalgam
- Liver & Gallbladder Flush
go to curezone.com for more.
5htp has been helping me and it's natural serotonin.

to OP will be praying for you...Job's life morphed when he began praying for his friends.
I read the Word every day but have been struggling with a great sorrow and am going to fast and pray.
[link to www.youtube.com]
I have been in the Lord's presence...it's all I want...the joy of knowing I'm doing His Will. ps. if anyone gives you a bad report thru a dream etc...just love them and forgive them for giving into fear because "God doesn't give a spirit of fear...but power, love and a strong mind." tim 1:7

your question has helped me in my own path. we need each other.
one other link www.fhu.com.
ps. we are living in profound times. I know some of what I am going thru is kinda 'jonah in the belly of the whale' stuff. very sensitive to all the earth changes.

could that be you, as well?
anyway, you're not alone.
blessings
[link to signsofthetimevision.wordpress.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28625930
China
11/28/2012 06:20 AM
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Re: I live my entire life in a constant state of depression
Have you tried a Snickers?

That'll get rid of that nagging, ngawing feeling.
an american mom
User ID: 11946116
United States
11/28/2012 06:22 AM
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Re: I live my entire life in a constant state of depression
Depression is caused by negative self talk. If you are blaming yourself for everything and regret everything, it is no wonder you are depressed!

I'm 39 and had been severely clinically depressed since I was a teenager. This changed for me a few years ago when I stopped the negative self talk. It took a while to get use to talking positively to myself, and a lot of practice, but it really does work!

You must learn how to forgive YOURSELF and then forgive others who have caused you harm or injustice. I read about a technique that I use that helps a lot. Anytime you have a negative thought, don't react emotionally to it. Don't relive the pain. Release it. Let it go. Just observe the thought and sent it on its way. Imagine the negative thought or idea on a puffy cloud and send it on up in the sky out of sight/out of mind. Or sometimes I image the idea in a heart shaped helium balloon and let it go.

Replace the negative thoughts with positive. This takes practice and don't be too hard on yourself while you are practicing. That's why it's called practice - you won't master it at first. :) Replace the I hate yous with I am a good person. Learn to tell yourself that you love you. Replace your regrets with the acknowledgement that you learned a lesson and you are thankful for the experience because you are sure you won't repeat it again.

Stop the blaming and STOP LIVING IN THE PAST. Be kind to yourself, smile at yourself in the mirror, and move forward.

I know you can do it because I believe in you.

B6 deficiency is linked to depression. Go buy a bottle and you'll be feeling a bit better in a week.

Also, depressed people should not be reading GLP. ;)

I think you are a good person and am sending you love.

hf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1585861


thanks for this - do I take the vit b6 alone or in conjunction with food/other vitamins?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1230294
Netherlands
11/28/2012 06:29 AM
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Re: I live my entire life in a constant state of depression
You're happy to be sad!
Don't hurry, be snappy!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27504670
United States
11/28/2012 06:30 AM
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Re: I live my entire life in a constant state of depression
What is depression? Have we actually stopped to wonder is it truly all its cracked up to be? Is it withdrawal from the matrix that they created. Not interested in "hobbies" anymore? Are they depressed or simply becoming less of this world?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1230294
Netherlands
11/28/2012 06:37 AM
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Re: I live my entire life in a constant state of depression
If everyone stopped breeding; there would be no more depression.

The Creator surely is a cunt.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28592649


No, the Creator is a hardcore gamer, playing the human lemmings game!
~Spaze*Man~

User ID: 28481642
United States
11/28/2012 06:40 AM

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Re: I live my entire life in a constant state of depression
Have you tried a Snickers?

That'll get rid of that nagging, ngawing feeling.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28625930


lol that'll make it worse.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 18835047
United States
11/28/2012 06:44 AM
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Re: I live my entire life in a constant state of depression
Tips from a fellow sufferer:
Increase dopamine through exercise.

For a male like you, maybe testosterone. For me, childbirth hormones helped, so depression must have a hormonal link.

Fake it 'til you make it. Acting happier and more upbeat usually causes the mood to follow.

Sell everything you own and travel the world. It couldnt hurt to shake up your system. Like hitting RESET.

Good luck. You have a purpose here.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22818197
Puerto Rico
11/28/2012 06:46 AM
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Re: I live my entire life in a constant state of depression
I have a lot to be happy for, but I still cannot be happy. I pretend I'm happy, but I'm never really am. I blame myself for all things, and regret everything. No matter how much I tell myself tomorrow is going to be better, it never is.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27302733


So you discovered life is a pile of shit ...

Welcome to the club ,,,,


tounge
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15057455
United States
11/28/2012 06:48 AM
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Re: I live my entire life in a constant state of depression
boo the fuck hoo

take 5-hpt exercise get some sunshine stop eating shit food.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 6069405
United States
11/28/2012 06:54 AM
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Re: I live my entire life in a constant state of depression
Realization that this way of thinking and living is not pleasurable for you, seems to be an initial step for change. I am going through a similar transformation. The role of religion in childhood can mess you up and deserves an honest look. I discovered that religion took the focus from within and made me look outward to some male figure God who was going to save me. I need to save myself. That was a big shift for me to realize that I wasn't going to lay down and be healed by religion. Then it applied to medicine, where a pill was going to make me feel better. Again laying down and having a man heal me, my dr with a magic pill. I decided to buck up and get off the pill and face the crap that I did not like. I have lost most of my friends and most of my family don't speak to me, but you know what, I saved myself and live in a reality that I mostly like and take responsibility for my creations. I hope you use your disatisfaction to transform your life, it is a lot of work, but look within yourself for the answers.
IrishCol

User ID: 28224126
United Kingdom
11/28/2012 09:18 AM

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Re: I live my entire life in a constant state of depression
Best thing you can do is talk ...

I also believe its a choice, (apart from the cases of clinical depression) we choose either to be unhappy, glum and pessimistic or we can choose to be happy, positive and optimistic!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22577422
United States
11/28/2012 09:18 AM
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Re: I live my entire life in a constant state of depression
Who's fault is that?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28623442
United States
11/28/2012 09:21 AM
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Re: I live my entire life in a constant state of depression
I had the same problem for over 20 years. People were horrible to me about it to and always did things to make it worse. A doctor finally found I actually had a tumor that was causing my brain to malfunction. Finally was able to get it surgically removed last month and the cloud is lifting. Well it was until my wife decided she was going to try to become rich and famous in Hollywood and left me on Thanksgiving.
TheSeventhGate

User ID: 27676745
Ireland
11/28/2012 09:24 AM
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Re: I live my entire life in a constant state of depression
I have a lot to be happy for, but I still cannot be happy. I pretend I'm happy, but I'm never really am. I blame myself for all things, and regret everything. No matter how much I tell myself tomorrow is going to be better, it never is.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27302733


You are dehydrated perhaps.

Drink lots more water.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27245451


Thanks. I drink fluids non-stop. I definitely drink the suggested 8 glasses per day.

When I was about 16.5 years old, I was sitting on one of my friend's front porch. Something hit me like a train, like my entire life flashed before my eyes, but It took a long time, so not necessarily a 'flash' but for about 15 minutes or so, I went into this deep sinking sad and self-loathing world where I decided I didn't like who I was.

I have never recovered from that.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27302733


Sorry to hear of your troubles OP. Many of us have irrational beliefs so I think it would be good for you to do some CBT(Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and analyze that belief/thought that got you so down. I believe there is a big probability that it was an irrational one. Love yourself OP, none of us are perfect and we all make mistakes. Forgive yourself. Get born-again of the Holy Spirit above and only put your trust in the word of God, not anyone's interpretations of it. God loves you OP as do I. I will pray for you. God bless you my friend.
The pawns are in place, the stage is set. The question is, are you ready?

Righteous anger and Zeal does not equate to hate,pride or arrogance and are fully justified.

Soon, all the slaves will be released, for the Jubilee approaches.

Let them give glory unto the LORD, and declare his praise in the islands. Isaiah 42:12

And God said unto him, I am God Almighty: be fruitful and multiply; a nation and a company of nations shall be of thee, and kings shall come out of thy loins. Genesis 35:11 America(Maneesah), Britain(Ephraim) and the Prophesied Common-Wealth(Company of nations)

Saul/Paul, the false Apostle.
[link to www.judaismvschristianity.com]
[link to www.jesuswordsonly.com]

The transplanted Throne of King David to Ireland,Scotland, and England fulfilling Ezekiel 21:25-27 Prophecy.
[link to www.henrymakow.com]
[link to www.giveshare.org]

The "Lost" Ten Tribes of Israel...Found!
[link to stevenmcollins.com]

Proof that the Law of Moses is still in effect.
[link to www.biblegateway.com]
[link to www.biblegateway.com]
[link to www.biblegateway.com]
[link to www.biblegateway.com] 777
TheSeventhGate

User ID: 27676745
Ireland
11/28/2012 09:26 AM
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Re: I live my entire life in a constant state of depression
Depression is caused by negative self talk. If you are blaming yourself for everything and regret everything, it is no wonder you are depressed!

I'm 39 and had been severely clinically depressed since I was a teenager. This changed for me a few years ago when I stopped the negative self talk. It took a while to get use to talking positively to myself, and a lot of practice, but it really does work!

You must learn how to forgive YOURSELF and then forgive others who have caused you harm or injustice. I read about a technique that I use that helps a lot. Anytime you have a negative thought, don't react emotionally to it. Don't relive the pain. Release it. Let it go. Just observe the thought and sent it on its way. Imagine the negative thought or idea on a puffy cloud and send it on up in the sky out of sight/out of mind. Or sometimes I image the idea in a heart shaped helium balloon and let it go.

Replace the negative thoughts with positive. This takes practice and don't be too hard on yourself while you are practicing. That's why it's called practice - you won't master it at first. :) Replace the I hate yous with I am a good person. Learn to tell yourself that you love you. Replace your regrets with the acknowledgement that you learned a lesson and you are thankful for the experience because you are sure you won't repeat it again.

Stop the blaming and STOP LIVING IN THE PAST. Be kind to yourself, smile at yourself in the mirror, and move forward.

I know you can do it because I believe in you.

B6 deficiency is linked to depression. Go buy a bottle and you'll be feeling a bit better in a week.

Also, depressed people should not be reading GLP. ;)

I think you are a good person and am sending you love.

hf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1585861


clappa Great advice. You are worth it OP!
The pawns are in place, the stage is set. The question is, are you ready?

Righteous anger and Zeal does not equate to hate,pride or arrogance and are fully justified.

Soon, all the slaves will be released, for the Jubilee approaches.

Let them give glory unto the LORD, and declare his praise in the islands. Isaiah 42:12

And God said unto him, I am God Almighty: be fruitful and multiply; a nation and a company of nations shall be of thee, and kings shall come out of thy loins. Genesis 35:11 America(Maneesah), Britain(Ephraim) and the Prophesied Common-Wealth(Company of nations)

Saul/Paul, the false Apostle.
[link to www.judaismvschristianity.com]
[link to www.jesuswordsonly.com]

The transplanted Throne of King David to Ireland,Scotland, and England fulfilling Ezekiel 21:25-27 Prophecy.
[link to www.henrymakow.com]
[link to www.giveshare.org]

The "Lost" Ten Tribes of Israel...Found!
[link to stevenmcollins.com]

Proof that the Law of Moses is still in effect.
[link to www.biblegateway.com]
[link to www.biblegateway.com]
[link to www.biblegateway.com]
[link to www.biblegateway.com] 777
Lisa*Lisa

User ID: 1106916
United States
11/28/2012 09:29 AM

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Re: I live my entire life in a constant state of depression
knocking3693
Have You Accepted Jesus As Your Savior Yet? What Are You Waiting For?

____________________________


"Tell them, I love them" - Jesus Christ

"If love were a tree, compassion would be its fruit." - unknown
____________________________

A dear friend's website [link to www.savemenowjesus.com]

_____________________________

Do you have questions about God or need a friend to talk to? Email me at LisaLovesJesus7@gmail.com
___________________________

2 Corinthians 12:9 - "Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me."

_________________________

One of the greatest things you can do for God is to show love to His other kids.
omar

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United Kingdom
11/28/2012 09:41 AM
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Re: I live my entire life in a constant state of depression

[link to www.youtube.com]
:spyda:
IrishCol

User ID: 28224126
United Kingdom
11/28/2012 10:15 AM

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Re: I live my entire life in a constant state of depression
Who's fault is that?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22577422


???

News