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Just watched my sister have a stillbirth after 5 years of trying. WHAT is the greater purpose?!!

 
Anonymous Coward
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11/29/2012 01:44 AM
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Re: Just watched my sister have a stillbirth after 5 years of trying. WHAT is the greater purpose?!!
after 5 years of trying


I think I found the problem... get it out faster next time.
Sungaze_At_Dawn

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11/29/2012 01:46 AM

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Re: Just watched my sister have a stillbirth after 5 years of trying. WHAT is the greater purpose?!!
I am so sorry for your families loss. Be gentle with her pain and give her lots of hugs. So sad.

red_heart
Anonymous Coward
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11/29/2012 01:53 AM
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Re: Just watched my sister have a stillbirth after 5 years of trying. WHAT is the greater purpose?!!
I watched my sister go through five years of waiting month by painful month to get pregnant as she watched all of her siblings have children. It finally happened earlier this year and I have never seen her happier or more beautiful. She took such good care of herself, she did everything right.
I got called to the hospital Monday to watch her go into labor too early and they told her she had to deliver a baby that was too young to make it. He was a boy, and he was beautiful. I cried every tear with her at her side for two days with her wonderful husband and still at home my tears won't stop.
WHAT is this greater purpose?! Every word I tried to say to her as she wept over her perfect son sounded empty and hollow. As a mother to five, how can anything I say even relate to her lonely heartache? My heart broke into a million pieces as we all said goodbye. I gave him my ring I always wear, I'd have buried him with my own heart if I could have.
There's NO reason. None. This post will soon be lost and abandoned among the many other threads but his life deserved a moment of recognition. Let this please compel you to look around you today and show someone close to you that you care. Love those around you with everything you've got, let my nephew's death have meaning on you for one moment to cherish what you have because it could end in an instant.
If you run across this post and you'd like, please post flowers, hearts, or just send your love out to my sister, and my sweet nephew up above.
 Quoting: Strawberrymittens





If you are all absorbed, captivated, and heartbroken by a life that never got off to a start, and an obsession (and insistence) on having children at THIS juncture of world history, then you are REALLY in for a serious wake up call.

You may not believe it, and you may hate me for saying so, but it's the best thing that could have happened. In a year or two, you'll understand why I am saying this. Some people have to SEE reality right in front of their nose, in order to believe in it's existence.

To any fool out there who is TRYING to get pregnant, in an insane world of chaos, suffering, hunger, suicide, depression, overpopulation, and rapidly increasing tyranny...

I HAVE ZERO SYMPATHY FOR YOU.

The "elite" ALREADY want to exterminate 90% or more of us, and you idiots are just ratcheting up the misery index to the maximum level possible.

STOP, already!
Anonymous Coward
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11/29/2012 01:58 AM
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Re: Just watched my sister have a stillbirth after 5 years of trying. WHAT is the greater purpose?!!
Failure to conceive, and stillbirth could be a symptom of serious health issues. Lupus, for example, often manifests for the first time during pregnancy

[link to www.lupus.org]

I know she is suffering the pain of losing a child, but please do make sure she gets proper follow up care to determine the actual reason for both her delay in achieving pregnancy and the stillbirth itself. Her child is dead, but her life may still be helped.

My cousin has the same hard to diagnosis hereditary disease I have, and she suffered 11 miscarriages (none very advanced, at least that was a blessing) pointlessly before finding out she could never carry a child to term. Her doctors kept encouraging her to try again without sufficient diagnostics. They also missed her heart disease during all this.

Also,if you have female children, there are problems your sister could have which might affect them later.
cabbage_goddess

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11/29/2012 02:07 AM

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Re: Just watched my sister have a stillbirth after 5 years of trying. WHAT is the greater purpose?!!
hugs hf
Anonymous Coward
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11/29/2012 02:11 AM
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Re: Just watched my sister have a stillbirth after 5 years of trying. WHAT is the greater purpose?!!
I watched my sister go through five years of waiting month by painful month to get pregnant as she watched all of her siblings have children. It finally happened earlier this year and I have never seen her happier or more beautiful. She took such good care of herself, she did everything right.
I got called to the hospital Monday to watch her go into labor too early and they told her she had to deliver a baby that was too young to make it. He was a boy, and he was beautiful. I cried every tear with her at her side for two days with her wonderful husband and still at home my tears won't stop.
WHAT is this greater purpose?! Every word I tried to say to her as she wept over her perfect son sounded empty and hollow. As a mother to five, how can anything I say even relate to her lonely heartache? My heart broke into a million pieces as we all said goodbye. I gave him my ring I always wear, I'd have buried him with my own heart if I could have.
There's NO reason. None. This post will soon be lost and abandoned among the many other threads but his life deserved a moment of recognition. Let this please compel you to look around you today and show someone close to you that you care. Love those around you with everything you've got, let my nephew's death have meaning on you for one moment to cherish what you have because it could end in an instant.
If you run across this post and you'd like, please post flowers, hearts, or just send your love out to my sister, and my sweet nephew up above.
 Quoting: Strawberrymittens





If you are all absorbed, captivated, and heartbroken by a life that never got off to a start, and an obsession (and insistence) on having children at THIS juncture of world history, then you are REALLY in for a serious wake up call.

You may not believe it, and you may hate me for saying so, but it's the best thing that could have happened. In a year or two, you'll understand why I am saying this. Some people have to SEE reality right in front of their nose, in order to believe in it's existence.

To any fool out there who is TRYING to get pregnant, in an insane world of chaos, suffering, hunger, suicide, depression, overpopulation, and rapidly increasing tyranny...

I HAVE ZERO SYMPATHY FOR YOU.

The "elite" ALREADY want to exterminate 90% or more of us, and you idiots are just ratcheting up the misery index to the maximum level possible.

STOP, already!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28680380


Isn't there a song..... Turn turn turn by the Bryds

This isnt the time for your rant and your grandstanding.

There is a lot of pain here and people are in an overwhelmingly sad place, please allow them the time, the place and the space to share and heal the best that they can.
Anonymous Coward
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11/29/2012 02:52 AM
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Re: Just watched my sister have a stillbirth after 5 years of trying. WHAT is the greater purpose?!!
I watched my sister go through five years of waiting month by painful month to get pregnant as she watched all of her siblings have children. It finally happened earlier this year and I have never seen her happier or more beautiful. She took such good care of herself, she did everything right.
I got called to the hospital Monday to watch her go into labor too early and they told her she had to deliver a baby that was too young to make it. He was a boy, and he was beautiful. I cried every tear with her at her side for two days with her wonderful husband and still at home my tears won't stop.
WHAT is this greater purpose?! Every word I tried to say to her as she wept over her perfect son sounded empty and hollow. As a mother to five, how can anything I say even relate to her lonely heartache? My heart broke into a million pieces as we all said goodbye. I gave him my ring I always wear, I'd have buried him with my own heart if I could have.
There's NO reason. None. This post will soon be lost and abandoned among the many other threads but his life deserved a moment of recognition. Let this please compel you to look around you today and show someone close to you that you care. Love those around you with everything you've got, let my nephew's death have meaning on you for one moment to cherish what you have because it could end in an instant.
If you run across this post and you'd like, please post flowers, hearts, or just send your love out to my sister, and my sweet nephew up above.
 Quoting: Strawberrymittens


I am close to tears, I am so sorry for your loss. I hope and pray that you and your family find some way to deal with this pain. My thoughts are with you and I have asked the angels to be with you. hugsrose

red_heart
Anonymous Coward
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11/29/2012 03:25 AM
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Re: Just watched my sister have a stillbirth after 5 years of trying. WHAT is the greater purpose?!!
I watched my sister go through five years of waiting month by painful month to get pregnant as she watched all of her siblings have children. It finally happened earlier this year and I have never seen her happier or more beautiful. She took such good care of herself, she did everything right.
I got called to the hospital Monday to watch her go into labor too early and they told her she had to deliver a baby that was too young to make it. He was a boy, and he was beautiful. I cried every tear with her at her side for two days with her wonderful husband and still at home my tears won't stop.
WHAT is this greater purpose?! Every word I tried to say to her as she wept over her perfect son sounded empty and hollow. As a mother to five, how can anything I say even relate to her lonely heartache? My heart broke into a million pieces as we all said goodbye. I gave him my ring I always wear, I'd have buried him with my own heart if I could have.
There's NO reason. None. This post will soon be lost and abandoned among the many other threads but his life deserved a moment of recognition. Let this please compel you to look around you today and show someone close to you that you care. Love those around you with everything you've got, let my nephew's death have meaning on you for one moment to cherish what you have because it could end in an instant.
If you run across this post and you'd like, please post flowers, hearts, or just send your love out to my sister, and my sweet nephew up above.
 Quoting: Strawberrymittens





If you are all absorbed, captivated, and heartbroken by a life that never got off to a start, and an obsession (and insistence) on having children at THIS juncture of world history, then you are REALLY in for a serious wake up call.

You may not believe it, and you may hate me for saying so, but it's the best thing that could have happened. In a year or two, you'll understand why I am saying this. Some people have to SEE reality right in front of their nose, in order to believe in it's existence.

To any fool out there who is TRYING to get pregnant, in an insane world of chaos, suffering, hunger, suicide, depression, overpopulation, and rapidly increasing tyranny...

I HAVE ZERO SYMPATHY FOR YOU.

The "elite" ALREADY want to exterminate 90% or more of us, and you idiots are just ratcheting up the misery index to the maximum level possible.

STOP, already!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28680380


Whilst we are all entitled to our own views, this is the most inappropriate place to voice your particular opinion.
What does it achieve? Why cause more pain where clearly it's overflowing?

I actually understand your point but there must be a reason why souls are continuing to incarnate on this earth. These newly incarnated souls may have a purpose far beyond our current understanding, even if they are not with us for long, or in this case were not physically born.

I don't believe it's wise to judge the path of another.
rV~

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11/29/2012 03:43 AM

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Re: Just watched my sister have a stillbirth after 5 years of trying. WHAT is the greater purpose?!!
I watched my sister go through five years of waiting month by painful month to get pregnant as she watched all of her siblings have children. It finally happened earlier this year and I have never seen her happier or more beautiful. She took such good care of herself, she did everything right.
I got called to the hospital Monday to watch her go into labor too early and they told her she had to deliver a baby that was too young to make it. He was a boy, and he was beautiful. I cried every tear with her at her side for two days with her wonderful husband and still at home my tears won't stop.
WHAT is this greater purpose?! Every word I tried to say to her as she wept over her perfect son sounded empty and hollow. As a mother to five, how can anything I say even relate to her lonely heartache? My heart broke into a million pieces as we all said goodbye. I gave him my ring I always wear, I'd have buried him with my own heart if I could have.
There's NO reason. None. This post will soon be lost and abandoned among the many other threads but his life deserved a moment of recognition. Let this please compel you to look around you today and show someone close to you that you care. Love those around you with everything you've got, let my nephew's death have meaning on you for one moment to cherish what you have because it could end in an instant.
If you run across this post and you'd like, please post flowers, hearts, or just send your love out to my sister, and my sweet nephew up above.
 Quoting: Strawberrymittens


hugs
There are no words worthy~
Prepping?
get bent!
it's a vibe~
[link to GetBent.Biz]
[link to PDBentonite.Com]
rV~

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11/29/2012 03:54 AM

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Re: Just watched my sister have a stillbirth after 5 years of trying. WHAT is the greater purpose?!!
Think too OP on all the people touched by your story and thoughts. It has served a purpose already.


My husband and I were fighting not ten minutes ago...about nothing and everything. About life and time and hectic schedules. Petty mundane shit.

I read him your post, all choked up. We both cried.

We held hands and he gave me a kiss. The fight over and we both felt ashamed.

We are the parents of a child born 8 weeks early.

I could have been your sister.

You nephew's death has had a purpose in my life - to make me remember what is important and that God work's in mysterious ways.

God bless your nephew and your sister and you.

hf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28642182


Think too OP on all the people touched by your story and thoughts. It has served a purpose already.


My husband and I were fighting not ten minutes ago...about nothing and everything. About life and time and hectic schedules. Petty mundane shit.

I read him your post, all choked up. We both cried.

We held hands and he gave me a kiss. The fight over and we both felt ashamed.

We are the parents of a child born 8 weeks early.

I could have been your sister.

You nephew's death has had a purpose in my life - to make me remember what is important and that God work's in mysterious ways.

God bless your nephew and your sister and you.

hf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28642182


exactly!!
Prepping?
get bent!
it's a vibe~
[link to GetBent.Biz]
[link to PDBentonite.Com]
Anonymous Coward
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11/29/2012 03:57 AM
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Re: Just watched my sister have a stillbirth after 5 years of trying. WHAT is the greater purpose?!!
Anonymous Coward
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11/29/2012 04:02 AM
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Re: Just watched my sister have a stillbirth after 5 years of trying. WHAT is the greater purpose?!!
he'll be in heaven, waiting for her. I lost a baby in a miscarriage, I believe I'll meet that soul on the other side, I pray in Jesus's name I will.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27129259


True, your dear sister will see him and pray, if it is
God's will, she will conceive again. Don't worry.
Anonymous Coward
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11/29/2012 04:13 AM
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Re: Just watched my sister have a stillbirth after 5 years of trying. WHAT is the greater purpose?!!
I've known women who shouldn't have had children because they didn't want them, but they popped them out anyway. These children have suffered horribly because of the neglect, abuse and abandonment of their mothers and fathers. They are on the streets totally messed up or in jail, if they're lucky. The others died an early death. Holy crap.

I've known women who decided to abort their babies because they were so terrified of being on their own with no support from families or society and I cried with them because they really wanted their babies to have a chance in life.

I don't know the answer to why OP's sister baby was stillborn. Life is not fair and just. In fact, it's downright brutal and there are times when I think children that are stillborn decide at the last moment, 'ah, nope, I've changed my mind' and decide to wait it out. This little angel just got his wings to go back home. angel3

My heart goes out to all involved.
Fun-Da-Mental

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11/29/2012 04:20 AM

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Re: Just watched my sister have a stillbirth after 5 years of trying. WHAT is the greater purpose?!!
hfpeacehf
tiger1

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11/29/2012 03:46 PM

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Re: Just watched my sister have a stillbirth after 5 years of trying. WHAT is the greater purpose?!!
OMG, OP. To find this thread today is so odd. Today would be the 18th birthday of my full term stillborn grandson.

There is nothing, and I mean nothing more heartwrenching than the breaking heart of a mother in this situation. OP, you recognize how you are feeling, the heartbreak you feel. There is no numerical value that can be given to the degree of your sister's pain in comparison to yours.

For now stay close to your sister. Do nothing but be there when she asks for you. Nothing will console her for a while. She will eventually work through the grief enough to begin to function again.

My son and his wife had another child almost two years later. He was born very premature - 32 weeks, but he survived and is a 16 years old hockey player, as well as his 13 year old sister. They also had a son prior to the stillborn baby.

Funny, that my daughter-in-law had major issues carrying three baby boys. When she became pregnant with her baby girl, it was smooth sailing the entire pregnancy through birth.

I am praying for that little girl for your sister and the mending of her broken heart. Godspeed to her and your family.

grouphug
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26143620



My heart goes out to you and your family. You never forget. Laurel would have been 39 years old on February 17, 2013.

Last Edited by tiger1 on 11/29/2012 04:04 PM
tiger1

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11/29/2012 03:49 PM

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Re: Just watched my sister have a stillbirth after 5 years of trying. WHAT is the greater purpose?!!
Not to be a jerk be doesn't it seem that if you try to get pregnant for years and can't, then the purpose is that nature doesn't want you to reproduce?
 Quoting: dr. know


Most women are just wired with the desire to have a child. It's natural. It's what our bodies were created to do and it HURTS when we can't.

Not all women feel this way, but many do.

I gave a child up for adoption. I've gotten to know the mother through her letters and I've got to say, I admire and respect her. I'm grateful she was there to be the Mommy I could not be at that time. She's an amazing and generous woman. I feel blessed to have her raising my son.

I wish for all women who can't have a child of their own to find their heart's desire through adoption.

I know it's not always the answer, but it's always something to consider.

I pray the OP's sister is graced with a lovely healthy baby of her own. I pray she finds comfort from her pain and loss.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 10783814


As a mother who's middle daughter is adopted, thank you with all my heart, for giving your precious child the gift of life !hf
Anonymous Coward
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11/29/2012 03:52 PM
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Re: Just watched my sister have a stillbirth after 5 years of trying. WHAT is the greater purpose?!!
Sometimes I like to think their souls were too beautiful to be exposed to the world we live in- they've gone back to heaven and its there you will meet again.
Anonymous Coward
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11/29/2012 03:53 PM
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Re: Just watched my sister have a stillbirth after 5 years of trying. WHAT is the greater purpose?!!
My tears have joined yours and your sisters...

 Quoting: Seer777


As have mine.
tiger1

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11/29/2012 04:03 PM

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Re: Just watched my sister have a stillbirth after 5 years of trying. WHAT is the greater purpose?!!
I watched my sister go through five years of waiting month by painful month to get pregnant as she watched all of her siblings have children. It finally happened earlier this year and I have never seen her happier or more beautiful. She took such good care of herself, she did everything right.
I got called to the hospital Monday to watch her go into labor too early and they told her she had to deliver a baby that was too young to make it. He was a boy, and he was beautiful. I cried every tear with her at her side for two days with her wonderful husband and still at home my tears won't stop.
WHAT is this greater purpose?! Every word I tried to say to her as she wept over her perfect son sounded empty and hollow. As a mother to five, how can anything I say even relate to her lonely heartache? My heart broke into a million pieces as we all said goodbye. I gave him my ring I always wear, I'd have buried him with my own heart if I could have.
There's NO reason. None. This post will soon be lost and abandoned among the many other threads but his life deserved a moment of recognition. Let this please compel you to look around you today and show someone close to you that you care. Love those around you with everything you've got, let my nephew's death have meaning on you for one moment to cherish what you have because it could end in an instant.
If you run across this post and you'd like, please post flowers, hearts, or just send your love out to my sister, and my sweet nephew up above.
 Quoting: Strawberrymittens





If you are all absorbed, captivated, and heartbroken by a life that never got off to a start, and an obsession (and insistence) on having children at THIS juncture of world history, then you are REALLY in for a serious wake up call.

You may not believe it, and you may hate me for saying so, but it's the best thing that could have happened. In a year or two, you'll understand why I am saying this. Some people have to SEE reality right in front of their nose, in order to believe in it's existence.

To any fool out there who is TRYING to get pregnant, in an insane world of chaos, suffering, hunger, suicide, depression, overpopulation, and rapidly increasing tyranny...

I HAVE ZERO SYMPATHY FOR YOU.

The "elite" ALREADY want to exterminate 90% or more of us, and you idiots are just ratcheting up the misery index to the maximum level possible.

STOP, already!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28680380


I do not know what tomorrow will bring, but the children are our future, and a BLESSING. To lose a child is a horrible thing to go through. I can tell you this as a mother who lost a daughter to stillbirth. I had her room all ready, with special touches, like the chest of drawers with the nursery rhymes and characters printed on them. My daughter had died in utero. When she was born, they wouldn't let me see her. I never got to hold her, or tell her goodbye. I went home to a room set up for her, and cried my heart out. It was so painfull for me, that I promptly gave all my baby items and furniture to a friend who was expecting.
I have memories of her kicking me, of hearing her heartbeat. She never saw the light of day, but she was very much so alive inside of me. I will never forget.
I have sympathy for you, that you are so hardened that you say that the death of someones child is the best thing to happen, and you have no sympathy for the loss of their child. I pity you for the loss of your humanity.
Anonymous Coward
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11/29/2012 04:20 PM
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Re: Just watched my sister have a stillbirth after 5 years of trying. WHAT is the greater purpose?!!
I watched my sister go through five years of waiting month by painful month to get pregnant as she watched all of her siblings have children. It finally happened earlier this year and I have never seen her happier or more beautiful. She took such good care of herself, she did everything right.
I got called to the hospital Monday to watch her go into labor too early and they told her she had to deliver a baby that was too young to make it. He was a boy, and he was beautiful. I cried every tear with her at her side for two days with her wonderful husband and still at home my tears won't stop.
WHAT is this greater purpose?! Every word I tried to say to her as she wept over her perfect son sounded empty and hollow. As a mother to five, how can anything I say even relate to her lonely heartache? My heart broke into a million pieces as we all said goodbye. I gave him my ring I always wear, I'd have buried him with my own heart if I could have.
There's NO reason. None. This post will soon be lost and abandoned among the many other threads but his life deserved a moment of recognition. Let this please compel you to look around you today and show someone close to you that you care. Love those around you with everything you've got, let my nephew's death have meaning on you for one moment to cherish what you have because it could end in an instant.
If you run across this post and you'd like, please post flowers, hearts, or just send your love out to my sister, and my sweet nephew up above.
 Quoting: Strawberrymittens





If you are all absorbed, captivated, and heartbroken by a life that never got off to a start, and an obsession (and insistence) on having children at THIS juncture of world history, then you are REALLY in for a serious wake up call.

You may not believe it, and you may hate me for saying so, but it's the best thing that could have happened. In a year or two, you'll understand why I am saying this. Some people have to SEE reality right in front of their nose, in order to believe in it's existence.

To any fool out there who is TRYING to get pregnant, in an insane world of chaos, suffering, hunger, suicide, depression, overpopulation, and rapidly increasing tyranny...

I HAVE ZERO SYMPATHY FOR YOU.

The "elite" ALREADY want to exterminate 90% or more of us, and you idiots are just ratcheting up the misery index to the maximum level possible.

STOP, already!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28680380


I do not know what tomorrow will bring, but the children are our future, and a BLESSING. To lose a child is a horrible thing to go through. I can tell you this as a mother who lost a daughter to stillbirth. I had her room all ready, with special touches, like the chest of drawers with the nursery rhymes and characters printed on them. My daughter had died in utero. When she was born, they wouldn't let me see her. I never got to hold her, or tell her goodbye. I went home to a room set up for her, and cried my heart out. It was so painfull for me, that I promptly gave all my baby items and furniture to a friend who was expecting.
I have memories of her kicking me, of hearing her heartbeat. She never saw the light of day, but she was very much so alive inside of me. I will never forget.
I have sympathy for you, that you are so hardened that you say that the death of someones child is the best thing to happen, and you have no sympathy for the loss of their child. I pity you for the loss of your humanity.
 Quoting: tiger1


+1

It is the most painful a female can experience.
* Lucky Star *

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11/29/2012 05:06 PM
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Re: Just watched my sister have a stillbirth after 5 years of trying. WHAT is the greater purpose?!!
OP, you and your family are in my prayers.

Ignore the negative posts above, just welcome in the positive thoughts.

hf
taniatarn

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11/29/2012 05:32 PM
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Re: Just watched my sister have a stillbirth after 5 years of trying. WHAT is the greater purpose?!!
My daughter nearly died at 3 days old...just stopped breathing and I had to do mouth to mouth to revive her. The pain of this moment and the heartwrenching knowledge that my baby might not come back was something I will never ever forget...just the thought still brings instant tears to my eyes....

I am so sorry that your precious Nephew and much wanted baby for your sister could not make it to this world....there are no words that can erase the pain.....cyberhugs to you, your sister and the father of this precious soul...

verysad
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GLP Angel

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11/29/2012 05:59 PM

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red_heartred_heartverysadred_heartred_heart
But now abideth faith, hope, love, these three; and the greatest of these is love.
geminilion

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11/29/2012 06:07 PM
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Re: Just watched my sister have a stillbirth after 5 years of trying. WHAT is the greater purpose?!!
I am so very sorry for your loss and your sister's loss.

hf
..."The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Think only on those things that are in line with your principles and can bear the light of day. The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny ... it is the light that guides your way."
Heraclitus
Anonymous Coward
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11/29/2012 06:19 PM
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Re: Just watched my sister have a stillbirth after 5 years of trying. WHAT is the greater purpose?!!
After working for years in an obstetric ward I don't feel the changes have been good. After a miscarriage women went in and had a D and C and never viewed the babies after.
I have seen so many women walk out sad but understanding that nature rules and sometimes well actually in 1 in 4 pregnancies the baby dies before 16 weeks.
This is simply a miscarriage but people call it a still birth and it is not.
Once the tiny baby has been held the parents then grieve terribly and I've seen women 6 months later who are inconsolable. This is completely unnecessary and unacceptable to me.
The women who didn't see the dead baby recovered much quicker and I think honestly its the worst thing you can do. It's so sad that now poor women desperate for a baby are viewing and holding dead tiny foetuses.
This is simply nature. Don't view a dead child ever unless you really think it will help the grieving process. Unfortunately viewing them makes the grieving process so much longer and I know most women would rather have a D and C and get on with trying again than spend the next 6 months going to sleep with images of their dead baby to go to sleep with at night.
Not healthy and not recommended..
Anonymous Coward
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11/29/2012 06:22 PM
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Re: Just watched my sister have a stillbirth after 5 years of trying. WHAT is the greater purpose?!!
Life is strange. My kids turned out mean and selfish an I wish I never had them.
Mastema

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11/29/2012 06:22 PM
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Re: Just watched my sister have a stillbirth after 5 years of trying. WHAT is the greater purpose?!!
he'll be in heaven, waiting for her. I lost a baby in a miscarriage, I believe I'll meet that soul on the other side, I pray in Jesus's name I will.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27129259


This Boy Says He Met His Dead Sister in Heaven — Thing Is, He Never Knew She Existed

Read More at: [link to hollywoodlife.com]

The remarkable thing is, Colton’s parents, Todd and Sonya, had never told him about his sister, who Sonya miscarried a year before Colton’s birth.

Read More at: [link to hollywoodlife.com]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23883145


And that book has been debunked again..and again..and again..

HOW DARE you make light of this womans PAIN by foisting that made up load of new age crap dressed up in bible verses to make MONEY for the LYING FATHER who told his boy WHAT to say?

You EVIL CREATURE!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 18077790


clappa
“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. ... We need not wait to see what others do.” -Mahatma Ghandi
tiger1

User ID: 6269153
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11/29/2012 10:44 PM

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Re: Just watched my sister have a stillbirth after 5 years of trying. WHAT is the greater purpose?!!
After working for years in an obstetric ward I don't feel the changes have been good. After a miscarriage women went in and had a D and C and never viewed the babies after.
I have seen so many women walk out sad but understanding that nature rules and sometimes well actually in 1 in 4 pregnancies the baby dies before 16 weeks.
This is simply a miscarriage but people call it a still birth and it is not.
Once the tiny baby has been held the parents then grieve terribly and I've seen women 6 months later who are inconsolable. This is completely unnecessary and unacceptable to me.
The women who didn't see the dead baby recovered much quicker and I think honestly its the worst thing you can do. It's so sad that now poor women desperate for a baby are viewing and holding dead tiny foetuses.
This is simply nature. Don't view a dead child ever unless you really think it will help the grieving process. Unfortunately viewing them makes the grieving process so much longer and I know most women would rather have a D and C and get on with trying again than spend the next 6 months going to sleep with images of their dead baby to go to sleep with at night.
Not healthy and not recommended..
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28737145


I have had miscarraiges and a stillbirth. I saw my miscarried fraternal twins at 2 1/2 months gestation. I saw another miscarried child at 2 months. I was not allowed to see or hold my daughter at 7 months gestation. Grieving is a process made incomplete when you do not see your child. The blasted nurses held me down and would not let me look at her. I fought them like the tiger I am, but they refused to let me see her. I only saw the placenta and the cord, before FIVE big nurses pinned me to the bed(I was in the ER). I realized then, as now, that my daughter was in the process of maceration, but it was still my child.
NOT letting the parent see their child, is denying the humanity of the child, IMO as someone who has been there and done that. It is denying that there was a child, a human being taken too early, too soon. The mother never forgets, even though some stone age minded doctors and nurses treat a lost child like they were nothing but tissue, so try again. Thanks to these stone age cretins, I have nothing but the autopsy report as a token of the life that was lost.
I had hoped that attitudes would have changed since my daughter was stillborn in 1974, but I am sad to see the same old mindset is still around.
Nika

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11/29/2012 11:08 PM
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Re: Just watched my sister have a stillbirth after 5 years of trying. WHAT is the greater purpose?!!
Oh op, my heart cries for you and your sister and her husband. rivotears

No one knows why these things happen. It's impossible to understand. My sister gave birth at 25 wks to a baby boy, Peyton. She held him in her arms while he struggled to breath. He died an hour later in her arms. The only comfort I have is knowing that although his life was very short, he had more love than some children have their entire childhood.

Prayers for you and your family. hugs
:infnty:

:ihavgsbmp:
Anonymous Coward
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11/30/2012 01:24 AM
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Re: Just watched my sister have a stillbirth after 5 years of trying. WHAT is the greater purpose?!!
. Grieving is a process made incomplete when you do not see your child. The blasted nurses held me down and would not let me look at her.
 Quoting: tiger1


The reabsorption process, while it leaves the fetus a bit featurless (think a baby Voldermort) is not that awful. The medical profession has a habit of exposting people to things they should not see and protecting them from things they should. Seeing that the baby is really dead and having that closure can be very important.



[link to www.americanpregnancy.org]
What are the chances of having a Miscarriage?

For women in their childbearing years, the chances of having a miscarriage can range from 10-25%, and in most healthy women the average is about a 15-20% chance.

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