I have just killed an alien, im panicking please help

Good afternoon, evening wherever you are in the country.
I am trembling right now, and writing this with great fear in my eyes.

I am an abductee, i have been all my life.
I do not consider myself to be the chosen one or special or anything like that, millions of people around the world are abducted both consciously and subconsicously, some of you may be abductees and may not even know of it.

In recent years my abductions went from blurry memory, to out of body experiences, to real physical contact, being led by several greys onto a large craft which had different species of non human intelligence on it.

Recently it has been ruining my life, i am 73 years old, and want to live out the remainder of my life without this stress as it has all but taken most of my life, and made it hard to live like a regular woman.

My friend suggested setting up cctv camera footage in the house which i did, but the ets would simply cause so much distortion that nothing would show up.

Eventually i decided to get myself a shotgun, and wait for the next abduction.

About an hour ago, they came for me, four of them
The smallest one (about 5 foot) was at the front and the closest to me.

I pulled out my shotgun, i screamed `dont come nearer ill fire`, but it carried on coming towards me, i suddenly felt myself start to fall into the usual trance, hypnotic like state which you are in when they want to control you, and i could hear in my head it telling me to put me down, if i had given it a fraction of a second more, i would have completly been under its control.

Anyway, as soon as i felt the trance like state start to come on, i didnt give it more than a second thought, i still, whilst i had the energy in my fingers, pulled the trigger, and blasted the grey in the face. It fell down, and stood up again, and looked at me with a sad look in its face, i panicked and shot it again, this time it didnt get up!

I looked around me, and excpected the other four murder me, literally murder me.. but they were gone, and so was the craft.
I put the gun down, and sat in the garden for an hour, and they didnt come back.

I buried the grey in my garden underneath the oak tree, and i am scared for my life what to do now.

I took about 2 minutes cellphone footage of it too, which is far too graphic i am afraid to upload here.

I didnt mean to kill it, but these entities are ruining my life. I also do not understand why the others would dissapear surely they werent all scared of me.

It doesnt help that i am selling up my house in a few months as i will be moving into the countryside, how is it going to look if they find a body under the oak tree!!

Please can anyone who is an abductee help, and advise me what to do.