I'm in a horrible situation with my family...

This may be silly, but have you called Dr. Phil about this.

I hate stinky, sweaty, stained, stupid ballcaps.
But a nice man's cute head I can fondle.
Fer gosh sakes, guys, get over the balding thing! We cant caress a stupid ball cap!
Hey, I did alliteration, yay!
Anyway, a head is a head, hair or none, just stop with the stupid coverups.
Don't tell my hubby I wrote this, he has a handsome but balding head he covers up 14/24, and of course he has a dam cap collection, it falls on my head when I move anything, lol.

what a fag