'We're married, we just don't have sex'

I find your post and lifestyle fascinating, OP. As much as I love sex and find that it can be an exhilarating and fantastic experience with the right person, I do find that the pursuit of sex takes up an inordinate amount of my available energy, energy I'd frankly rather use for other pursuits. So maybe outgrowing the need for sex is where our species is headed. Maybe we can only achieve true spiritual connection with each other and the world around us when we learn to leave our animal instincts behind.

As anecdotal evidence from my personal experience that might corroborate that viewpoint, the girls I date who are the most well-adjusted, warm and caring, the ones who were raised in loving households by loving parents, generally have a balanced approach towards sex. They often love it just as much as I do, but they have a healthy relationship with it; they tend to use sex as an expression of love, as an extension of their feelings for me. On the other hand, the girls who have had seriously fucked-up childhoods, who were exposed to violence in the home when they were young, almost invariably crave violent sex, almost as a way of reenacting, and thus experiencing anew, the violence they experienced as children.

To be brutally honest, the sex is almost always better with girls from the second group, but girls from that group also have a much more masculine mindset, a certain hardness and exaggerated toughness that robs them of a large part of their femininity. I find them, in short, less female and thus less human and more animalistic, as if they're tied with an invisible anchor to their baser instincts. Maybe when we can all truly commune with warmth and light and love, we can cut the chains of that anchor for good.

Care to elaborate on your upbringing, OP? I'm guessing, given your very unusual attitude towards sex, that your upbringing was also unusual in some way. If it was a very violent one, I'll have to rethink my hypothesis. But I'm curious nonetheless.

Sorry, but that's just wrong. I've got a genius IQ and have done many valuable things in my life. Sex is EVERYTHING as far as enjoyment and fulfillment. WTF is the point of getting married if you don't have sex? That is the reason most guys get married at all, other than to have someone to cook and clean.

As a married guy, you have a right to sex from your wife. That's the "valuable consideration" that she brings to the marriage contract. Otherwise, there's nothing there, and if there's no consummation, then you are technically not married.

Yeah, really, sex is for the proles!!

Truth is, you are impotent and unable to get it up. Sex disgusts you because you are unable to pleasure a woman. You knew that, you just needed to hear it from someone else.

A real man takes care of his wife's pussy. He fulfills her needs.

Women's' libbers marry pussy men who cannot do a real day's work. A real man can work all day and take care of a woman at night, even if he has an office job. A liberal pussy man worries about whether or not his ancestors perpetrated injustice on anyone. He has been intellectually castrated by white guilt, even though he works 10 hours a day so the government can take his wages and give them to people who were never oppressed.

A real man and a real woman have sex. They care for each other and they satisfy each other. Liberals bathe in their guilt, and are neutered by it, even though they never did anything but read bad things about their ancestors, who built the country.

I predict your relationship will last forever because most women don't want sex and crave the partnership you speak of (not me though, lol).

It's sad but true. And the poor guys just hang in there trying and trying til someone with a little spark comes along and brings them back to life. Then they leave the sexless relationship.

But if it works for you, hey more power to ya.

we had a lot of sex in our marriage in the early days

now we have kids and a dog

we don't have sex anymore by mutual agreement

no big deal


we think people who are so primal and animal that they think with their genitals are weird

sex serves a purpose--recreation but once that is accomplished--what's the point?

don't you mean procreation?

If you do not make babies then you are a waste of human flesh and a useless eater. The human body and mind are nothing more then transports for sperm. Everyone is controlled by sperm you fool.

Inaccurate.
But anyway, have a flower

Not trying to be a dick, it's just what I have come to realize.
What purpose do humans have in the world? The answer is none.
We are just another animal species looking to pro-create. Why? The sperms make us do it.

Not for me. I think "sex" is disgusting and only the under-developed minds crave it and/or need it.

You are afraid of sexual intimacy you should get some therapy before your body doesn't work any longer. Sex is the act of creating life but also creates great pleasure for the body and mind and also builds confidence and the clouds also look really fluffy when you getting some coochie on a regular basis. You should embrace this life while you are here not avoid it. It is a learning experience, well for those of us aren't turned into mindless media spoon fed dribbling idiots.

I'm not afraid of it, I just find it no way appealing or pleasant. I honestly, find even the thought of it disgusting.

My husband and I have developed beyond that basic animal instinct, and our lives with each other are perfect.

Plus, if you can only build confidence though such acts, you are a seemingly dormant "human" being.

People can absolutely be in love without sex. That is possible.

But, it's very unlikely that this marriage will last without sex. One of you, most likely your husband, will eventually want it, which is normal and healthy.

You're missing out on the one thing that can bring the 2 of you even closer together.

Instead of completely shutting your mind off to it, try working on it as it is a healthy part of a marriage.

I have never met a man that didn't want sex. I think something is wrong with this scenario.

I hope it works out for you tho OP. Maybe you really did meet the 1 man on the face of the earth that hates sex, but I"m having a hard time believing that.

Who knows.

Four years together and it's like we fell in love just yesterday.

I don't expect people to understand our love for each other. He is like no other man I have ever met or heard of. One of a kind, and he loves me! Purest soul I have ever encounted.

We are soulmates

I'm sure he does love you OP, and I"m sure that you love him too. But, at some point, he's probably going to want to have a sexual relationship with the woman that he loves, and that's normal.

Just don't completely close your mind to the possibility of it, maybe later on. It would bring you closer together.

I thought the OP was male.

'On our wedding night, we invited friends over to play Scrabble'




Asexual partnerships are good :)

Don't worry OP it's normal for 8 yo like you not to be drawn by sex. Give it a few years