I find your post and lifestyle fascinating, OP. As much as I love sex and find that it can be an exhilarating and fantastic experience with the right person, I do find that the pursuit of sex takes up an inordinate amount of my available energy, energy I'd frankly rather use for other pursuits. So maybe outgrowing the need for sex is where our species is headed. Maybe we can only achieve true spiritual connection with each other and the world around us when we learn to leave our animal instincts behind.
As anecdotal evidence from my personal experience that might corroborate that viewpoint, the girls I date who are the most well-adjusted, warm and caring, the ones who were raised in loving households by loving parents, generally have a balanced approach towards sex. They often love it just as much as I do, but they have a healthy relationship with it; they tend to use sex as an expression of love, as an extension of their feelings for me. On the other hand, the girls who have had seriously fucked-up childhoods, who were exposed to violence in the home when they were young, almost invariably crave violent sex, almost as a way of reenacting, and thus experiencing anew, the violence they experienced as children.
To be brutally honest, the sex is almost always better with girls from the second group, but girls from that group also have a much more masculine mindset, a certain hardness and exaggerated toughness that robs them of a large part of their femininity. I find them, in short, less female and thus less human and more animalistic, as if they're tied with an invisible anchor to their baser instincts. Maybe when we can all truly commune with warmth and light and love, we can cut the chains of that anchor for good.
Care to elaborate on your upbringing, OP? I'm guessing, given your very unusual attitude towards sex, that your upbringing was also unusual in some way. If it was a very violent one, I'll have to rethink my hypothesis. But I'm curious nonetheless.