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how to cope with an alcoholic parent

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27703467
United States
11/30/2012 01:53 AM
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how to cope with an alcoholic parent
long story short she gets wasted everyday and she becomes abusive both verbally and physically

im forced to live with her for another 2 years until i get out of county college because i dont make enough money to live on my own

all the drinking is killing her i can tell because she is not the same person anymore

she acts like the whole world is against her and it scares me because really the only person that actually cares for her and is trying to help her is me

i treat her like an angel and i get shit in return

help
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25601325
United States
11/30/2012 01:55 AM
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Re: how to cope with an alcoholic parent
Treat her like an alcoholic who is your mother and needs help.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28378701
Australia
11/30/2012 01:55 AM
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Re: how to cope with an alcoholic parent
Ignore her and concentrate on your own life stop trying to be her savior
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 10783814
United States
11/30/2012 01:58 AM
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Re: how to cope with an alcoholic parent
If you don't break this cycle NOW...you will live with it the rest of your life.

You're YOUNG...you have energy and talent and this world wants you to succeed.

I'm old. I've no longer any choice but to live this way.

Find roommates...find a way.

Get out and live your life the way you want to live it.

Don't get stuck in feeling stuck when you're so young.

It will become a habit.
ANHEDONIC

User ID: 26795689
United States
11/30/2012 02:03 AM

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Re: how to cope with an alcoholic parent
Sorry to hear about your troubles.

hf

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger"
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 27703467
United States
11/30/2012 02:05 AM
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Re: how to cope with an alcoholic parent
you guys dont understand i really want to help her and i think i can

why should i just abandon someone who raised me
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28697503
Japan
11/30/2012 02:10 AM
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Re: how to cope with an alcoholic parent
I dont know OP. My dad is an alcoholic and I havent spoken to him on 14 years. The years go by but it doesn't get any better.

I think you need to put some space between yourself and her somehow.
snark

User ID: 1050548
United States
11/30/2012 02:11 AM

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Re: how to cope with an alcoholic parent
you guys dont understand i really want to help her and i think i can

why should i just abandon someone who raised me
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27703467


The best way to help her is to get her help like rehab. You cannot help her yourself- you can't cure her. She has to realize what she is losing by drinking and if you are picking up the pieces for her, she will never realize it. She won't realize it until she is sober, no matter how sad and sorry she seems. Try to get her somewhere that professionals can help her. You keep loving her, but stop trying to fix her, because you can't.
T For Texas, T For Tennessee!


The virtue of courage is a prerequisite for the practice of all other virtues, because otherwise one is virtuous only when virtue has no cost. There are times when something needs to be done, and yet we know that if we step up and do this needful thing, we will pay a heavy personal price. -C.S. Lewis
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28750409
United States
11/30/2012 02:11 AM
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Re: how to cope with an alcoholic parent
Al-Anon. They have programs and help for you and her both. You are just trying to be a good child to your mom. Bless you!
Just 20 meetings
User ID: 25739945
United States
11/30/2012 02:11 AM
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Re: how to cope with an alcoholic parent
Just 20 meetings of 'Al A Non' and you'll end up being the

most 'fre'e and 'peaceful' person you ever met.

Highly recommend...


hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28378701
Australia
11/30/2012 02:12 AM
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Re: how to cope with an alcoholic parent
I dont know OP. My dad is an alcoholic and I havent spoken to him on 14 years.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28697503


Your choice you ungrateful little asswipe
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28697503
Japan
11/30/2012 02:14 AM
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Re: how to cope with an alcoholic parent
I dont know OP. My dad is an alcoholic and I havent spoken to him on 14 years.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28697503


Your choice you ungrateful little asswipe
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28378701


I dont know OP. My dad is an alcoholic and I havent spoken to him on 14 years.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28697503


Your choice you ungrateful little asswipe
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28378701


Get fucked.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28170048
United States
11/30/2012 02:16 AM
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Re: how to cope with an alcoholic parent
you guys dont understand i really want to help her and i think i can

why should i just abandon someone who raised me
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27703467


You don't get it....She has abandoned herself and you. Only she can help herself. IF and ONLY IF SHE wants to help herself than you can help her, otherwise your wasting your time. You'll wonder later why you wasted all those years when you could have been getting on with your life.
scorpio66

User ID: 2453057
United States
11/30/2012 02:16 AM
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Re: how to cope with an alcoholic parent
it's been, let's see, 24 years since i've seen my alcoholic mother. couldn't fix her. made the choice to break all contact with her at 22. i do not regret it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21101178
United States
11/30/2012 02:17 AM
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Re: how to cope with an alcoholic parent
You can't help her until she's ready to be helped. Go to Al-Anon and get free of the situation. You do not deserve to be abused this way, and you putting up with it and taking care of her when she is drunk is actually harmful to her in the long run. It's called enabling. She needs to be left to hit bottom. I have addicts in my family. My own brother stole from me. It's heartbreaking, but there is nothing you can do to make them want to change. SHE has to want to change, and in the meantime, you can only really help yourself.

Good luck hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21101178
United States
11/30/2012 02:17 AM
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Re: how to cope with an alcoholic parent
I dont know OP. My dad is an alcoholic and I havent spoken to him on 14 years.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28697503


Your choice you ungrateful little asswipe
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28378701


Let me guess... you're a bitter alcoholic parent who wonders why your kids never call.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28378701
Australia
11/30/2012 02:18 AM
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Re: how to cope with an alcoholic parent
Its funny how others are quick to judge and categorize someone as an alcoholic.
It seems some just have their own issues and are jealous of the alcohol because the loved one pays more attention to it than them.
The only way a person can be classified as an alcoholic, is if they admit they are an alcoholic.
Your opinion of them is just judgmental crap like what you think of fat people on the bus.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28378701
Australia
11/30/2012 02:18 AM
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Re: how to cope with an alcoholic parent
I dont know OP. My dad is an alcoholic and I havent spoken to him on 14 years.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28697503


Your choice you ungrateful little asswipe
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28378701


Let me guess... you're a bitter alcoholic parent who wonders why your kids never call.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21101178


Define an alcoholic cheese dick?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28378701
Australia
11/30/2012 02:19 AM
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Re: how to cope with an alcoholic parent
Its also funny how some will call someone else an alcoholic, then when you ask them what they did on the weekend they say they went to a party and got drunk.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28170048
United States
11/30/2012 02:21 AM
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Re: how to cope with an alcoholic parent
Its funny how others are quick to judge and categorize someone as an alcoholic.
It seems some just have their own issues and are jealous of the alcohol because the loved one pays more attention to it than them.
The only way a person can be classified as an alcoholic, is if they admit they are an alcoholic.
Your opinion of them is just judgmental crap like what you think of fat people on the bus.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28378701


Anyone who has personality changes when they drink, (verbal and physical abuse) is alcoholic. Just because they don't admit it doesn't mean they're not an alcoholic.
You don't have any idea what an alcoholic is if you think by not declaring it means you aren't one.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28378701
Australia
11/30/2012 02:23 AM
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Re: how to cope with an alcoholic parent
Its funny how others are quick to judge and categorize someone as an alcoholic.
It seems some just have their own issues and are jealous of the alcohol because the loved one pays more attention to it than them.
The only way a person can be classified as an alcoholic, is if they admit they are an alcoholic.
Your opinion of them is just judgmental crap like what you think of fat people on the bus.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28378701


Anyone who has personality changes when they drink, (verbal and physical abuse) is alcoholic.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28170048


What about if they have those same traits when they don't drink?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28697503
Japan
11/30/2012 02:24 AM
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Re: how to cope with an alcoholic parent
Its also funny how some will call someone else an alcoholic, then when you ask them what they did on the weekend they say they went to a party and got drunk.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28378701


Thats not an alcoholic.

Going on a bender for two weeks, during which time you rape your daughter, lock your son up in a closet for 3 days with no food and not even a bucket to piss in, and break your wife's arm: Now that's an alcoholic.

Like I said, get fucked, you greasy little judgmental troll.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28378701
Australia
11/30/2012 02:24 AM
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Re: how to cope with an alcoholic parent
Just because they don't admit it doesn't mean they're not an alcoholic.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28170048


This is complete and utter horseshit, you do not get to tell someone they are an alcoholic, who the fuck do you think you are to classify someone as this?
What their problem is your problem now is it?
And you get to tell them what they are?
You sound more fucked up than a bum who drinks metho and lives in the park.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28378701
Australia
11/30/2012 02:25 AM
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Re: how to cope with an alcoholic parent
Its also funny how some will call someone else an alcoholic, then when you ask them what they did on the weekend they say they went to a party and got drunk.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28378701


Thats not an alcoholic.

Going on a bender for two weeks, during which time you rape your daughter, lock your son up in a closet for 3 days with no food and not even a bucket to piss in, and break your wife's arm: Now that's an alcoholic.

Like I said, get fucked, you greasy little judgmental troll.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28697503


You get fucked shitty lying little fagot the person probably did none of this and you made it up because mummy told you to.
Sick little twisted freak.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28378701
Australia
11/30/2012 02:27 AM
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Re: how to cope with an alcoholic parent
You don't have any idea what an alcoholic is if you think by not declaring it means you aren't one.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28170048


You don't get to tell other people what an alcoholic is retard you seriously are what about 15 or something?
The definition of an alcoholic is someone, themselves, realizing themselves and admitting to themselves their life has become unmanageable due to their drinking.
krosty

User ID: 15571780
United States
11/30/2012 02:28 AM
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Re: how to cope with an alcoholic parent
Become an alcoholic
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28697503
Japan
11/30/2012 02:29 AM
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Re: how to cope with an alcoholic parent
Its also funny how some will call someone else an alcoholic, then when you ask them what they did on the weekend they say they went to a party and got drunk.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28378701


Thats not an alcoholic.

Going on a bender for two weeks, during which time you rape your daughter, lock your son up in a closet for 3 days with no food and not even a bucket to piss in, and break your wife's arm: Now that's an alcoholic.

Like I said, get fucked, you greasy little judgmental troll.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28697503


You get fucked shitty lying little fagot the person probably did none of this and you made it up because mummy told you to.
Sick little twisted freak.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28378701


Why so upset?

Have another drink. That will make everything better, right?

Weakling.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28378701
Australia
11/30/2012 02:29 AM
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Re: how to cope with an alcoholic parent
she acts like the whole world is against her
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27703467


It probably is, like all the other people who don't drink and the world is against them.
She just happens to drink.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28378701
Australia
11/30/2012 02:29 AM
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Re: how to cope with an alcoholic parent
Its also funny how some will call someone else an alcoholic, then when you ask them what they did on the weekend they say they went to a party and got drunk.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28378701


Thats not an alcoholic.

Going on a bender for two weeks, during which time you rape your daughter, lock your son up in a closet for 3 days with no food and not even a bucket to piss in, and break your wife's arm: Now that's an alcoholic.

Like I said, get fucked, you greasy little judgmental troll.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28697503


You get fucked shitty lying little fagot the person probably did none of this and you made it up because mummy told you to.
Sick little twisted freak.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28378701


Why so upset?

Have another drink. That will make everything better, right?

Weakling.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28697503

Lying traitorous pig shit
beenthere
User ID: 26130179
11/30/2012 02:32 AM
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Re: how to cope with an alcoholic parent
you have to move out., find a cheap place with other students, make it on your own but keep in touch with her. She can only help herself and if you stay you could end up regretting it and hating her.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28742601
United Kingdom
11/30/2012 02:44 AM
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Re: how to cope with an alcoholic parent
If you depend on alcohol to get through each day you are an alcoholic whether you admit it or not.

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